Attack of the Pwns

Attack of the Pwns is the 10th episode of (pat)Rick Figures.

Transcript
(The Attack of the Pwns title card shows, then zooms in on the moon and space battle-vehicles.)

SpongeBob: Emperor Patrick, you fool. You are outnumbered, the Rose Empire will surely fall, and why the fuck did you eat the last burrito?!

Patrick: It was for both of us! Besides, the Golden Alliance's days are numbered, and that number is zero.

SpongeBob: Hmm...

Patrick: Because today you die!

(The Rose Armada and the Golden Forces attack each other.)

SpongeBob: That was the only thing in the fridge, you know I love frozen burritos!

(SpongeBob destroys two pink space ships)

Patrick: You know I love pissing you off!

(Auto-pilot ships are shooting at each other and a giant ship firs at both, Zooms in on the ship, and reveals ??? is driving it.)

???: I have-a no idea what's going on.

(The Rose Empire suddenly appears.)

Patrick: Oh-hohhh, yeah!

SpongeBob: Aaah, shit! (He summons the Golden Alliance. The Rose Armada and the Golden Forces continue to shoot at each other.) I'm gonna kill you and then I'm gonna eat you, because I'm fucking hungry!

Patrick: (laughs evilly) All your little spaceships are dead!

(Patrick chases SpongeBob as they head towards a space station, Patrick shoots down SpongeBob's engine.)

SpongeBob: Oh, fuck!

(SpongeBob crashes into the space station.)

Patrick: Feel like I should pull up. (He crashes into the space station as well. Patrick and SpongeBob escape their pods and pull out lightsabers and fight to the death. They enter a small pod and launch themselves away from the station and towards the sun. Patrick knocks SpongeBob to the ground.) Any last words, chode?

SpongeBob: It had my name on it.

Patrick: Only if your name is Señor Delicious!

(The pod is heading to the sun as fast as it can)

SpongeBob: Look, we could keep arguing about this and die a horrible fiery death in the sun, or we could escape in those jetpacks over there. (Patrick looks at the jetpacks.) Just sayin'.

(Patrick tries to make a decision and looks at both SpongeBob and the sun, then he finally makes a decision and throws the lightsabers away)

Patrick: Ah, Goddammit, fine!

(SpongeBob sighs in relief. They escape before crashing into the sun and the sun explodes. They start flying through space. Patrick sings happily along the way.)

Patrick: ♪If you like piña coladas...♪

SpongeBob: Huh...

Patrick: ♪...And getting caught in the rain...♪

SpongeBob: Shut up!

Patrick: ♪...Doo doo doo doo doo doo yoga...♪

SpongeBob: Shut up! SHUT UP!!

Patrick: ♪...Bumbnmbm Michael Caine♪

(They start slowing down)

SpongeBob: Aaaaaand we're out of gas.

(They stop moving.)

Patrick: NOT ME!

(Red starts farting, pushing himself forward.)

Patrick: Beeeeeean burritooooooo!

(Fart noises are not heard anymore as Patrick goes off-screen.)

SpongeBob: Well...guess I'm gonna die out here...

(SpongeBob stares at his right, nothing happens.)

Soundtrack
TBA