Siren's Unlucky Flight

Siren's Unlucky Flight is the sixth episode of the first season of SpongeBob & Sagwa. In the episode, Bianfu-Wang hires Siren to search for the perfect spot for his attack on the village. However, SpongeBob and Sagwa continuously prank him just to prevent him doing so.

The Script
(The episode opens with a shot of Jade Cave. The camera zooms onto the cave and then, fades to Bianfu-Wang sitting on his throne, looking bored.)

Bianfu-Wang: (sighs heavily) What to do... what to do... bored out of my mind...

Siren: Master, what be your problem today?

Bianfu-Wang: Siren, my number one minion, I have not been feeling like myself for the past few weeks. I mean, I'm still planning for when to unleash all heck upon China as part of my payback plot on SpongeBob and Sagwa, but I just can't seem to think of anything I want to be accomplished next. Corrupting Patrick and Sheegwa, sudden failure. Attacking that small pond, waste of time.

Siren: I believe your dastardly deeds have been on a hiatus, master. It happens to everyone.

Bianfu-Wang: Whatever that means, I don't understand. (sighs) I think I'll order some takeout.

Siren: Okay... I was only trying to encourage you...

(Siren flies away and leaves Bianfu-Wang. After Siren leaves the throne room, Bianfu-Wang picks up his crystal ball and uses it like a phone to contact the "modern world", or Bikini Bottom, at a local Chinese food restaurant.)

Caller: You have reached the hotline of Tofu Tavern, how can we help you?

Bianfu-Wang: Yes, hello. I would like to place an order for delivery.

Caller: What would you like to order, sir?

Bianfu-Wang: Do you serve steamed dumplings?

Caller: Why, yes we do.

Bianfu-Wang: Very well then, make that my main dish. I would also like a side of pork-fried rice to go with my order.

Caller: Would you like soy sauce with your dumplings?

Bianfu-Wang: What?! Soy sauce?! No, no, no, no, no, no, no thank you! I'm allergic to soy sauce!

Caller: Okay, okay, sir. Please settle down.

Bianfu-Wang: My apologies. Anyway, so when will the order arrive?

Caller: First, please tell me your address so we know where to drop it off.

Bianfu-Wang: Jade Cave, ancient Qing Dynasty of China.

Caller: You're from ancient times? I can't believe I'm calling an unknown entity from the past.

Bianfu-Wang: Yeah yeah yeah, just take the portal that still resides in your hometown and drop it off at my home. Thank you, bye.

(Bianfu-Wang "disconnects" his crystal ball from the hotline, then puts it down.)

Bianfu-Wang: I just hope the delivery boy is not foolish enough to know my precise location. (an idea pops into his head) Wait a minute... precise location... that's it! That gives me an idea! One that I've had after a long while... (evil chuckle, calls for Siren) Siren, assemble!

Siren: (appearing inside Bianfu-Wang's throne room) Yes, master? For what reason have you called for me?

Bianfu-Wang: After I placed my delivery, an idea popped into my head. Telling a feeble imbecile working at this Tofu Tavern place where my location was gave me the nerve to think of the next big part of my plan.

Siren: What is it?

Bianfu-Wang: (sinister grin) I would like for you to find a location far up in the mountains near the village for my Jade Bats to prepare for an attack. When you do, we will be on the edge of victory in the future.

Siren: Master, that... that plan is one of the most ingenious plans you've come up with in quite a while.

Bianfu-Wang: Your compliments never cease to satisfy my sinister maliciousness, Siren.

Siren: I shall not fail you, master! I will look for the perfect spot for our future invasion on the village.

Bianfu-Wang: That's my boy! Now get going!

Siren: With pleasure!

(Siren flies away as Bianfu-Wang chuckles to himself evilly.)

Bianfu-Wang: Heh heh heh heh, this is going to be wonderful...

(The episode pans from a shot of Bianfu-Wang's evil stare to a shot of China. The camera zooms down to the right to see SpongeBob and Sagwa playing with each other as usual.)

SpongeBob: Okay! Watch me do "Oral-gami"! I'm going to put this useless piece of paper in my mouth and make an astounding shape.

Sagwa: Oooh, show me!

SpongeBob: (puts the paper in his mouth, chews it up and then shows a dragon origami on his tongue) Ta-da!

Sagwa: Wow! You actually managed to make a dragon with your mouth? Gross, but awesome! You'd make a great circus freak for doing that, SpongeBob.

SpongeBob: You really think so?

Sagwa: Yep.

(The two friends laugh as the camera moves up to the sky. Up in the sky, Siren is flying overhead while avoiding being spotted.)

Siren: Alright, which place could strike me as the perfect serial attack spot? (looks around in the distance) Hmmm...

(The camera cuts back to SpongeBob and Sagwa.)

Sagwa: Okay, now let's...

(The two friends hear wings flapping up in the sky.)

Sagwa: Wait, what is that noise?

SpongeBob: I don't know... is that Fu-Fu?

Sagwa: Maybe he wants to come play with us! Look up in the sky, he should be anywhere.

(Sagwa and SpongeBob look up at the sky, only to find Siren flying around.)

SpongeBob: Bat!

Sagwa: Where? That must be Fu-Fu! (shouts) Hey, Fu-Fu, we're down here! Are you willing to play w... (pauses in shock, along with SpongeBob)

SpongeBob: Holy fish sticks! It's Siren!

Sagwa: Oh no, we can't let anyone notice him. Come on!

SpongeBob: I'm right behind you, Sagwa!

(Siren continues flying until he hears Sagwa shouting from down below. SpongeBob and Sagwa are running after him.)

Sagwa: Private Jade Bat!

Siren: Uh-oh.

SpongeBob: You're not going anywhere! You won't get away with sending the village into panic again, Siren!

Siren: Haw haw! Says the two fools who constantly oppose the great and powerful King Jade Bat! (flies faster) Sayonara! Hee hee hee.

Sagwa: He's getting away!

(Siren looks at Sagwa and SpongeBob again and blows raspberry at them, then he turns his around to see that he is flying towards a wall.)

Siren: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! (crashes into the wall) Oof! (falls to the ground, dizzy)

(SpongeBob and Sagwa run to Siren on the ground.)

Sagwa: Wow, guess you didn't see the wall coming, did you, Siren?

SpongeBob: But other than that, what diabolical plan has Bianfu-Wang assigned you?

Siren: (groans) It is top-secret. I'm getting out of here! (flies away)

Sagwa: That was weird, considering he did not notice the wall he was about to slam himself into. I mean, he should be smarter than that, you know?

SpongeBob: Yeah, it's almost like we unintentionally distracted him.

Sagwa: Touche.

SpongeBob: (gasps as an idea pops into his head) Wait a minute...

Sagwa: What is it, SpongeBob?

SpongeBob: Unintentionally distracting him... that gives me an idea!

Sagwa: Huh?

SpongeBob: Okay, so he accidentally crashed into that wall, right? It was because he was too busy taunting us instead of paying attention to where he was flying. I bet that if we continue setting up distractions for Siren, we could prank him until he decides to give up for the day! How about it?

Sagwa: Whoa... SpongeBob, that actually sounds like a clever idea! We'll do that.

SpongeBob: I knew you'd be intrigued. (giggles) This is going to be so great!

(Sagwa and SpongeBob snicker to each other as the episode pans to Siren flying as he continues to look for a surprise attack spot.)

Siren: Heh heh, alright uhh, let's see, uhh... where should I go? (camera shows a view of a mountaintop) Maybe the very top of that mountain over there? Nah. Too conspicuous. (camera shows a deep ocean area) How about the deepest part of the ocean? No, no, no, too wet. Uh... ooooh! Think, Siren, think!

(Suddenly, a shining green calligraphy symbol of path appears out of nowhere in front of Siren.)

Siren: Whoa, what is that?

Spiritual Voice: Siren Yu Bianfu, I have sensed your urgent need for guidance.

Siren: How do you know my name and how did you know I was having trouble?

Spiritual Voice: I know everyone and everything. I am the ancient Spirit of Neutrality, my sole purpose is to guide those who seek support for any path they choose, whether it be for good or evil.

Siren: Wow!

Spiritual Voice: Tell me...

(The source of the voice is revealed to be SpongeBob holding a handmade D.I.Y. horn and speaking in a godly voice while the source of the "Spirit of Neutrality" is Sagwa holding a green shard shaped like the calligraphy emblem it shows and projecting it under the sunlight.)

SpongeBob: (mock spiritual voice) For what bright or dark quest do you wish to accomplish?

(SpongeBob & Sagwa snicker to each other. The shot cuts back to Siren.)

Siren: My quest, your majestic traitorous-ness, was granted to me by my evil master, Yu Bianfu-Wang, the King Jade Bat. I seek a hidden spot for a future surprise attack on that village down below. Can you show me the way?

SpongeBob: (mock spiritual voice) Absolutely, Siren! Just follow me and your quest shall be completed!

Siren: Alrighty then!

(The "spirit" moves away as Siren follows it. Sagwa moves the shard around while SpongeBob continues to use his spirit impersonation.)

SpongeBob: (mock spiritual voice) Head this way! We shall be approaching that surprise attack spot in no time!

Siren: Wait, slow down, you're taking too many turns and you're going too fast!

SpongeBob: (mock spiritual voice) Oh, my apologies.

Siren: Okay, we should be there by now!

(Siren unawaringly is heading towards a river, which the "spirit" is leading him to.)

SpongeBob: (mock spiritual voice) Wait a minute. Watch yourself, Siren! You're about to hit the river!

Siren: What?!

(Suddenly, the "spirit" disappears and Siren screams as he falls straight into the river. SpongeBob and Sagwa run up to where he landed.)

Siren: Well, that stunk.

(SpongeBob and Sagwa burst into laughter.)

Siren: What? What's so funny? What's with the idiotic laughing?

SpongeBob: Oh, you should've seen the look on your face when we made the "Spirit of Neutrality" land you inside the water!

Siren: Wait, what? (detects Sagwa's green shard and takes it out of her paws) It was a fake?!

Sagwa: Ha ha, yeah. It's just green glass carved to look like a calligraphy symbol.

Siren: (growls) I'll get you for this, SpongeBob and Sagwa!

(As Siren flies away, SpongeBob and Sagwa go back to laughing hysterically. The episode pans to Siren in the sky again, still looking for the perfect hidden spot.)

Siren: Okay, no sign of Sagwa and SpongeBob, I should be good to go.

(Down below, SpongeBob and Sagwa quietly chuckle to each other as they fill up a sack with stinky tofu.)

SpongeBob: (giggling) This is going to be priceless!

(Back up in the sky, Siren is still flying. However, a proactive idea pops into his head.)

Siren: Wait, first I need to hide in order to make sure they don't find me. (flies to a nearby willow tree) This should be a good hiding place. (hides behind the tree for five seconds, then peeks) Is it safe? Let's see... I think I'm good.

(Suddenly, stinky tofu sporadically flies at Siren, hitting him all over his body.)

Siren: Ouch, ooh, that hurts! (a tofu piece hits him in the crotch) Ooooooohh!! (sniffs) Blech, what is that awful stench? (smells himself, then gets a shocked look on his face) I caught the scent of... one hundred-year-old tofu!

(SpongeBob and Sagwa appear again and laugh hysterically.)

Siren: So, you two think you're pretty funny, huh?! Well mark my words, once I complete my top-secret mission, you won't be laughing for long! (flies away)

Sagwa: Ha! That worked, too! How many other pranks do you have up your sleeve, SpongeBob?

SpongeBob: Oh, I got plenty of them, Sagwa! Let's use more of them to our advantage!

Sagwa: Yeah!

(The episode pans to Siren up in the sky again, this time, more alert on the lookout for SpongeBob and Sagwa.)

Siren: Now let's see... where are those fools? (looks around) Anywhere? Anywhere at all? Huh, guess they've given up.

(Suddenly, a giant fly swatter hits Siren from down below, thus knocking him out and causing him to fall to the ground. SpongeBob and Sagwa laugh hysterically.)

Siren: You two are cuckoo, you know that?! (flies away)

(The episode begins to show a montage of Siren falling for many other pranks set up by SpongeBob and Sagwa, such as being blown away by a giant fan, fleeing from a giant painting of a monster drawn by the two friends, getting sliced into pieces by a flying wave of Daos, which are a type of ancient Chinese swords and falling for a prank in which SpongeBob and Sagwa blend a painting in with the environment above the palace, then pull it down only for Siren to crash into a gong set up on the roof. Then, the episode pans to Siren looking tired from flying and getting pranked a lot. He gets so tired that he falls to the ground into a puddle of mud. SpongeBob and Sagwa appear again, responding with stifled giggling.)

Siren: (embarrassed and tearful) Okay... you two win. I can't take it anymore! I give up! I thought this assignment would be easy to complete, but it became a nightmare because of you two meddling dunderheads! I'm done! DONE!! I'M GETTING OUT OF HERE!!! (flies away in misery, sniffling)

Sagwa: SpongeBob?

SpongeBob: Yeah?

Sagwa: I think our pranks went a little too far on Siren.

SpongeBob: I agree. But at least no one was able to notice him.

Sagwa: That, too.

SpongeBob: So, up for more kah-rah-tay?

Sagwa: Sure! Let's go play with Dongwa and Sheegwa!

(The two friends run off laughing playfully, then the episode pans to Jade Cave, where we still see Bianfu-Wang in his throne.)

Bianfu-Wang: (talking to himself) Ah, Siren, you never fail to please me with your honorable and loyal deeds. I hope he's doing splendid with my assignment. I can already feel the end of China eventually closing in on everyone.

(Siren enters Jade Cave and flies over to Bianfu-Wang.)

Bianfu-Wang: (notices Siren) Siren, you have returned. Tell me, did you find the perfect secret area for our attack?

Siren: (sobbing and sniffling)

Bianfu-Wang: Wait. Siren, what's with the waterworks? What's wrong?

Siren: (tearfully) I can't do it anymore, master! You got to cancel the assignment for me, I want to abort this mission!

Bianfu-Wang: What? Why would you dare say that to me?!

Siren: I was doing my absolute best to look for a spot. But with every single attempt, Sagwa and SpongeBob kept stopping me in my tracks with their obnoxious, troublesome pranks! Please, oh please, master! I want to call this mission off, I've been through too much today already! Please, please, please, PLEEEEAAAAAASSSSEEEE!!!!

Bianfu-Wang: OKAY, FINE!! The mission is aborted. Happy now?

Siren: Oh, thank you, master. Thank you so much.

Bianfu-Wang: Anytime.

Siren: Whew, I need to go get some rest. (flies away)

Bianfu-Wang: (talks to himself) So SpongeBob and Sagwa have used pranks to foil Siren's mission, eh? Well then, I guess I'm going to have to take more desperate measures... (grins evilly, then gets out a bowl of dumplings) right after I'm finished with my dumplings. (eats a dumpling) Mmmm, tender.

(The episode closes.)