The Krusty Krushers

The Krusty Krushers is the sixth episode of the fourth season of Basket Sponge. This episode is the 66th episode overall.

Plot
Mr. Krabs is kicked off the team, and is pissed off about it. He then forms a new team, sponsored by the Krusty Krab.

Transcript
[Lexi bursts in the middle of a practice as the sunlight starts to burn Patrick. She rushes back to stop the smoke.]

Lexi: Sorry, honey.

Kobe: Thanks Lexi.

Lexi: What's up, Bryant? Became the coach?

Kobe: Yeah... wait a minute.... (sniffs.) Someone's smoking.

[Everyone points to Patrick.]

Kobe: No, not Patrick. I mean a real smoker…

[We find it's Mr. Krabs having another smoke as he waits for everyone to keep practicing.]

Mr. Krabs: It helps me understand you all. Basketball is definitely not my sport anymore.

SpongeBob: Kobe? What’s wrong with Mr. Krabs?

Mr. Krabs: Yeah, tell him everything.

Kobe: (tells SpongeBob) Well, SpongeBob, uh… I thought benching Mr. Krabs for the next game and starting Lexi at the four spot since she’s returned now.

SpongeBob: And?

Kobe: He got really pissed off. I think he’s emo now.

Mr. Krabs: Oh, so I’m a middle-aged emo? (dolphin chirp) off Bryant.

Kobe: Get out. Get out of my gym right now!

Mr. Krabs: Your gym?!

Kobe: I said get out!

[As Mr. Krabs leaves the gym, Patrick runs straight to Kobe.]

Patrick: Guys, please have an open mind. Equality is everything, and I’d just like to say--- I’m coming out. I’m admitting to all of you now that I am indeed---

Kobe: Patrick, I said “get out” not “come out”.

Patrick: Oh, I’ll go out now.

Kobe: No, I was talking to Larry.

Patrick: Jeez, you’re confusing me. What should I do?

Kobe: Practice.

Patrick: Ohh, I get it now.

[Meanwhile, Mr. Krabs furiously heads back to the Krusty Krab and sets up new plan to POBA officials through e-mail to create his own team to compete with the Bikini Bottom Bulldogs.]

Mr. Krabs: The Anchor Way Crushers? Sounds boring.

Pearl: Isn’t that where we live?

Mr. Krabs: Well, yeah but--- wait why are you in my office?

Pearl: (runs away)

Mr. Krabs: Hmm, how about the money, the growth… The Krusty Krab Krushers.

Pearl: The KKK? (runs away)

Mr. Krabs: How did she--- nevermind. No one will notice, it’s just a coincidence anyway. (sends e-mail to POBA)

[Back with the Bikini Bottom Bulldogs…]

SpongeBob: So, Coach, who are we playing tomorrow?

Kobe: (checks his phone) Well, we’re taking a rest tomorrow, so no game but the day after it will be the last game of the pre-season so if we win, we’ll be the top seed in the pre-season tournament.

Larry: Uh, cool but he asked who are we playing?

Kobe: It’s this new team, the Krusty Krab Krushers.

Larry: So the old man left us and made a new team.

Kobe: They’re playing their first game tomorrow against the Daisy Town Dandelions.

SpongeBob: The Dandelions are undefeated, it’ll be a piece of cake for them.

Narrator: One day later.

Kobe: (fan-girl screaming) OMG, OMG!

Larry: You got tickets to Boys Who Cry’s new concert?

Kobe: No, the Dandelions lost to the Krushers by 30 points.

SpongeBob: Well, if they’re that good then we need to prepare.

Kobe: Come on guys, let’s do some drills. You know the gameplan for next game since Lexi’s back. SpongeBob, you’re at the point. Patrick, you’re the two guard. Squidward, you’re at small forward. Larry, you’re the center. And as for Lexi, you’ll be replacing Mr. Krabs’ spot at the power forward position.

Lexi: Thanks, honey.

Kobe: Let’s start with some laterals then layups. Let’s go!

[Training montage begins, Patrick seems to keep messing up and can’t make a single basket. He’s drops to the floor due to exhaustion and is beaten up by Larry for his actions and is then injured in the process.]

Kobe: What the hell, Larry?

Larry: What? He wasn’t doing it properly and he couldn’t hit a single shot.

Squidward: Well, you gave him a shot to the face, heh, heh, heh.

Larry: Squidward, your laugh scares me.

Kobe: SpongeBob, call our team doctor. Tell him Patrick’s injured.

[Patrick is then escorted to the clinic, everybody anxiously waits for his condition for tomorrow’s game. The scene transitions to the next day.]

SpongeBob: (on his way to the arena) I’m ready, I’m ready, I’m ready. Oh, hey Squiward!

Squidward: Speed, I am speed.

SpongeBob: Hurry up, the game begins in just an hour and the whole team is there. You told me there wasn’t a bus going to the arena.

Squidward: Heh, heh. Oh, there’s the arena right there.

[They enter the arena locker rooms to find Kobe and the team.]

Kobe: Finally you guys are here. I have to tell you all something, Patrick’s not going to play today.

Larry: But if we lose this, we’re out.

Kobe: Exactly which is why if any of you get injured or foul out of the game, we’ll have no replacements. Stay healthy, and play clean defense. Now let’s go out there and crush those Krushers.

Announcer: ...and welcome all to the Krusty Krab Center!

SpongeBob: Wait, wasn’t this the Anchor Way Arena?

Plankton: Krabs put way too much effort into this. I should make my own team.

SpongeBob: Grrr… Plankton: What? Can’t I dream big?

[After the starting lineup for the Bulldogs is called…]

Announcer: ...and now it’s time for the starting lineup for the Krusty Krab Krushers! Point guard, jersey #2 Johnny Krill.

Larry: Damn, he was the best point guard in the league when he played for the Coral Clammers.

Announcer: Shooting guard #5 is Nat Peterson. Small forward at #7 is Monty Cheeks.

SpongeBob: Sandy’s cousin?

Announcer: At power forward #0 is Eugene Krabs, and at the center position #10 is Bubble Bass.

Kobe: Okay guys it’s game time, remember the game plan. Don’t get injured, don’t foul out.

[Tip-off begins, Bulldogs get the first possession. SpongeBob runs the ball up the court, passes it to Lexi who dunks over Mr. Krabs.]

Larry: Damn.

[The Krushers come back with two baskets coming up from Johnny Krill. Squidward passes the ball to Larry who hits a three-pointer, the score is 5-4. However, the team keeps fouling and is now in the penalty. The Krushers go 6-6 in free throws. The first quarter ends with the score 20-14 for the Krushers.]

Kobe: What the hell were you all doing out there? Quit fouling, they’re perfect from the free throw line.

Lexi: Thanks to SpongeBob here for not knowing how to steal.

Kobe: Guard Johnny, and don’t leave Bubble Bass open in the paint.

[Second quarter begins, SpongeBob is 2 fouls away from ejection. Squidward passes the ball to Larry who makes another three-pointer. The Bulldogs go on a run thanks to Larry’s three point shooting. The second quarter ends with the score 34-29 for the Bulldogs.]

Kobe: Good job Larry, keep the game plan going.

[Third quarter begins, SpongeBob is substituted with Plankton since he’s a foul away from fouling out of the game. The Krushers take advantage of the height difference, and pull away with the lead at the end of the third, 51-40.]

Kobe: (looks at the scoreboard) Uh, SpongeBob go back in the game. Lexi, you’ll be the shooting guard for the fourth quarter. Plankton, you’re at small forward. Larry, center, Squidward power forward.

SpongeBob: What if I get fouled out?

Kobe: I’ll ask the refferees.

Narrator: One minute later.

Kobe: (fan-girl screaming) OMG! OMG!

Larry: What now?

Kobe: I get to play if SpongeBob fouls out. New game plan, SpongeBob, foul out of the game. Shoot their players in the face. Kick them in the balls, make them infertile, I don’t care what you do, just foul out.

SpongeBob: Uh, coach Kobe, are you okay?

Kobe: I feel fantastic.

[Fourth quarter begins, SpongeBob kicks Mr. Krabs in the balls and is fouled out, given a technical foul. Mr. Krabs misses both free-throws. Kobe enters, he scores every single basket for the Bulldogs and injures Bubble Bass with exhaustion. The game is tied 51-51. Just as Kobe is about to dunk, he is fouled by Johnny Krill. He misses his first and calls a timeout.]

Kobe: Guys, if I miss this, Larry. Rebound the ball. Go for the quickest shot you can make.

Larry: Sure. I’ll even distract you so you can miss.

[Kobe breathes deeply, hoping the basketball gods give him supernatural free-throw powers to win the game. With 5 seconds left, if he misses, the game may go to overtime. He flips the ball. Dribbles, and shoots.]

Larry: I’m gonna rebound it.

[The ball goes in the basket.]

Larry: WHAT THE

SpongeBob: 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, we win!

Larry: NOOO!

SpongeBob: Haha, why are you so mad?

Larry: I was gonna be the player of the game. (cries)

Announcer: ...and the new POBA Pre-Season champions are the Bikini Bottom Bulldogs!

Kobe: Good team win, good team effort.

Larry: I’M GONNA MAKE MY OWN TEAM. (walks out of the arena)

SpongeBob: Don’t worry, he’ll be back in 10 minutes.

Squidward: If it wasn’t for Larry punching Patrick, we would’ve lost. Wait, where is Patrick?

Kobe: Larry mailed him back to Cleveland.

SpongeBob: Let’s just wait for Larry to come back, and Patrick to be sent back and we can start celebrating our victory.