Pre-Game Prep

"Pre-Game Prep" is the third episode of Season 1 and the third overall episode of Bikini Bottom Baseball. It is rated PG and TV-PG-L.

Characters

 * SpongeBob SquarePants
 * Squidward Tentacles
 * Patrick Star
 * Doctor
 * Eugene H. Krabs
 * Sheldon Plankton
 * Sandy Cheeks
 * Larry the Lobster
 * Fred Rechid
 * Nat Peterson
 * Sandals
 * Perch Perkins
 * Johnny Krill

Synopsis
It’s the day before The Blue Jays' first game, and they need to practice hard. But the practice is halted when most of the team gets injured.

Transcript
[episode starts at practice on the field. Squidward and SpongeBob are getting their batting stuff on.] Squidward: Man, I’m amazing. I got the game winning play. SpongeBob: Yep, you’re the man. Squidward: How I just extended my tentacle so- SpongeBob: Look, your “play” wasn’t even a pitch, something that I took the time to teach you. Squidward: Don’t care. [straps gloves] Ready. [cuts to batting cage where Krabs is pitching.] Mr. Krabs: Ready? Squidward: Pitch! [ball is pitched, but Squidward doesn’t swing at it.] Mr. Krabs: Squidward, what the hell? That was a perfect pitch! Squidward: It was low. Mr. Krabs: Yeah, maybe by a millimeter from the middle of the strike zone, but that would’ve been a strike. Squidward: I can pitch be- Mr. Krabs: Look, I can’t be having you say this crap. Tomorrow’s our first game of the season. Squidward: WHAT?! Mr. Krabs: Exactly. Now hit these balls! [pitches another one, Squidward doesn’t swing at it.] UGH!!...well, that was a bit outside, yeah, that would’ve been a ball. [cuts to SpongeBob playing first base. He catches every ball and seems to beat the runner, who is Fred, each time.] Good job, me boy. SpongeBob: Thanks, sir. Mr. Krabs: You’re welcome. Say, I’m stating you at first base every inning tomorrow! SpongeBob: Well, I was at first base every inning in the scr- Mr. Krabs: Yep, you are definitely very good. Next! [cuts to the team in line.] Look, guys. Our first regular season game is tomorrow. We really need to kick it up a bit. Patrick: Look, old man. You don’t know crap about base-[gets hit in the face with a baseball.] Plankton: You can thank me for that, Krabsy. [gets kicked into Patrick’s eye.] Mr. Krabs: Well...we’re already down two players. Squidward: And it’s all your fault, Krabs. Mr. Krabs: That is...correct. Anyway, get to practicing whatever the hell you’re gonna practice. [cuts to the outfielders catching fly balls hit by Larry.] Larry: Okay, Fred. This one is being hit to right field. [Larry hits it so hard that it hits Fred in the leg and injures him.] Fred: MY LEG! [Mr. Krabs walks over] Mr. Krabs: Larry…. Larry: Sorry. Mr. Krabs: Alright, but how the hell can we injure three fricking players in not even 5 minutes? [doesn’t here response] Larry? LARRY?! [Larry is shown to have his exoskeleton cracked.] Aw crap….I’m down a catcher, a right fielder, a shortstop, and….a stupid idiot on the bench.] Plankton: [on bench] I heard that! [falls off bench] OW!!! Mr. Krabs: Alright team! We’re going to run a little infield scrimmage. SpongeBob: But sir, we’re missing our shortstop and our catch- Mr. Krabs: I DON’T CARE! SpongeBob: ...sorry… [cuts to Squidward pitching a few times.] Mr. Krabs: Squidward…..pitch…. Squidward: I am. Mr. Krabs: I mean pitch strikes! And don’t give me that “I have no pressure!” crap. From now on, you’re always under pressure. Squidward: [sighs] Alright. [Squidward sweats a bit and goes to pitch a ball to Nat Peterson. It goes by really fast, like 90-100 MPH. The ball is also right down the middle and is hit hard to the gap between first and second, and both SpongeBob and Squidward go for it in slow-motion. They dive for it, as they hit their bodies and the ball hits them hard in the side on both of them. The ball bounces and it stays there. No one goes for it as Nat runs around the bases.] Mr. Krabs: Nice home run, Nat! Where did it go! Nat: Right there. [points to the ball, which is in front of the crash between the two.] Mr. Krabs: Oh…..Patrick, Plankton, and Fred might’ve been injured...Larry and Squidward are better…..but SPONGEBOB! SpongeBob and Squidward have the most action on the field! Patrick: [on dugout] Oh no! We lost our….stuff for the big buffet tomorrow. Plankton: [underneath Patrick] Our first GAME is tomorrow, not a team buffet, you fat idiot! [cuts to SpongeBob and Squidward in the hospital with a doctor next to them.] Mr. Krabs: So, uh, doc? Doctor: Yes? Mr. Krabs: How severe is this? Doctor: I don’t know, you tell me. The squid guy broke a rib, a few teeth, and slightly fractured his skull, and the sponge kid got hit all over...whatever is inside a sponge. Does that seem SEVERE to you? Mr. Krabs: [gulps] Yes, yes….I was just wondering..these two damn fools are on the baseball team I coach, and our first is tomorrow….will they be able to play? Doctor: Mr. Krabs, did you even listen to what I said? I would give it four to eight weeks for the squid, and maybe a week for the little guy. No way will they be able to play ANYTHING tomorrow, let alone baseball. Mr: Krabs: [sobs] I’m ruined! SpongeBob’s my best player, and Squidward is….a, um...decent pitcher! Doctor: That must be a shame, but...here’s the bill. [hands him bill] Mr. Krabs: [grabs it] What?! 15 grand?! What, do you think my insides are made of money? Doctor: Well…[shows x-ray that shows Mr. Krabs’ insides are literally dollar bills] Yes, I do. [cuts to field the next day.] SpongeBob: Squid, do you feel better? Squidward: Not really, it’s only been like 12 hours. Mr. Krabs: [gets megaphone] Okay, team. I know we lost most of our team, and we don’t have enough players to cover the whole field, but I know we can pull one off! And Squidward, it may have been 12 hours, but eh, good enough. Get out there, and play! [Squidward and SpongeBob are playing their positions.] Squidward: I got this. [goes to pitch ball, but slips and throws it 20 feet over the batter’s head. SpongeBob, who is playing after someone else pitches, gets hit with the ball again and goes down.] Mr. Krabs: SQUIDWARD! SPONGEBOB! Because of your foolishness, go and run 5 laps! Sandy: Look, Krabs. We lost some of our best players. The rest are kinda...crappy. Mr. Krabs: Well, there was one fool that was injured. Plankton: HEY!!! [Krabs doesn’t here him] Mr. Krabs: Eh, what was that? Whatever. So, let’s go out there, and- Perch Perkins: Freeze! Mr. Krabs: Perch Perkins? Squidward: What are you doing here? Perch: I think you mean what are WE doing here. We got Johnny Krill and Sandals on the scene! Mr. Krabs: News, ey? Well, we lost most of our team, and we’re playing in about an hour. Perch: No, no. Johnny, Sandals, and I want to join the Blue Jays. Mr. Krabs: J..who’s Johnny Krill? Johnny Krill: The drastic radicals. [Krabs gives a deadpan expression] Eh, you weren’t in that episode. Mr. Krabs: Okay then...but we only have 6 players in good condition still… Patrick: My pink squishy stuff is better… Mr. Krabs: You mean your bra- eh, what the hell. Larry: My abs don’t hurt anymore. They heal like THAT! Mr. Krabs: That?....What’s that? Fred: MY LEG! SpongeBob: Is that all you say? Fred: MY LEG! SpongeBob: That’s what I thought. [Plankton appears mutated a bit.] Plankton: I’m not bite sized...I’m 20 gallon size! Mr. Krabs: Well….alright. But I get to crush you if we lose! Plankton: You’re the same size as-

Mr. Krabs: I DON’T CARE! As long as we have these 9, we’ll-[cuts to them looking like they’re dead.] Well….they’re just sleeping. [episode ends.]