This is a Stick-Up!

This is a Stick-Up! is the thirteenth episode of the first season of Better Days, and the 13th overall.

Plot
During a normal day at the Retirement Home, a bunch of robbers pop up and start a huge stick up with the home and the cops!

Transcript
[The episode begins with a few bank robbers riding down the street, just as a few cops follow, not far behind]

Cop: (on megaphone) Give it up! You'll be arrested someday Bank Robbin' Ben!

Bank Robbin' Ben: That's the day I die!

[BRB throws a grenade out his car window, the cops swerve off the road just as it explodes, BRB's car speeds up, and drives into an alley way, the cops speed past him, not noticing him in the alley]

Ned: Dude, we need to find a place to hide in the meantime.

Bank Robbin' Ben: Any retirement homes around?

Ted: How oddly specific.

Bank Robbin' Ben: Well, all i've been thinking about for the last 3 days is my mom's death, she lived in a retirement home, so that's why I thought of that.

Red: Sounds horrible.

Bank Robbin' Ben: Eh.

Ned: FUCK! The nearest retirement home is all the way in Kelp City!

Bank Robbin' Ben: I'm willing to drive 4 hours to get there.

Red: ROAD TRIP!!

[intro plays, title card plays, cut to the Retirement Complex, as BRB's Car pulls up, we cut to Krabs and Shicowa playing chess]

Mr. Krabs: King me!

Mr. Shicowa: Dammit.

Betty: (laughs) he got ya there!

Adam: Betty, lets go watch the new "Adventures of New Newer MermaidMan and BarnacleBoy" in the TV room.

Betty: ok.

[they both walk to the TV room, as the doors burst open, Bank Robbin' Ben is inside the room along with Red, Ned and Ted]

Bank Robbin' Ben: Alright, LISTEN UP! I'm Bank Robbin' Ben, and there are cops after me, if they show up here, you act like nothing is happening!

Mr. Richards: (walks into the room, cracks knuckles) Nothing is happening.

Dave: Woah...KICK HIS ASS RICHARDS!!

Walter: Looks like a rainbow of nicely sunshine to me.

Bank Robbin' Ben: (cocks gun) SHUT UP!! You! (points to Shicowa) get out of that chair, it's mine now.

Mr. Shicowa: Dammit.

Mr. Krabs: Hey, hey, this is the season 1 finale, we still have 1 more, we can't die!

Bank Robbin' Ben: (points gun to Krabs) Shut, up. Now get off of my footstool.

Mr. Krabs: Alright! Alright!

Ned: Heh, just imagine, if there was a guy named Ned Flanders, mass spamming people in a discord server. Now that'd be hilarious

Red: No, that'd be annoying.

Ted: Okay, (walks into the room) I found, Oldies, Old, and Oldish Magazine.

Bank Robbin' Ben: Oldish sounds good, lemme look.

[As he is handed the magazine, sirens fade into the background]

Bank Robbin' Ben: SHIT!

Red: Everyone, calm down, just the cops, we'll be fine.

Ted: Dumbass, Ben robbed a bank!

Red: oh.

Cop: (on megaphone) Give it up Ben! Come out with your hands up! Or we'll shoot!

Bank Robbin' Ben: Try to shoot me and i'll gun down all these old people!

[cuts to the cops outside]

Cop: Crap!

Cop #2: We should work out a deal with him.

Cop: Are you crazy?

Cop #2: No sir, i'm rational.

Cop: Well then, you negotiate with Ben.

[cuts to the retirement home, Ben is sitting in the chair, just as the phone rings, everyone looks]

Bank Robbin' Ben: Shhhhh!!

[he picks up the phone]

Bank Robbin' Ben: What?

Cop #2: This is Officer Brian, we want to offer you, a vintage Camaro, 500 bucks, a pizza, and a ticket to Japan.

Bank Robbin' Ben: What about my friends, and the money I stole.

Cop #2: Well-

[cuts to the Cops]

Cop #2: (off the phone) shit, he wants to bring his money he stole and his friends!

Cop #3: Well, get 3 more tickets, and he can keep 1/3 of the money he stole.

Cop #2: (back to the phone) you can bring your friends, but only keep 1/3 of the money you stole.

[cuts back to him in the retirement home]

Eustace: That's what I call a deal!

Bank Robbin' Ben: Shut it old man! Give me time to think.

[cuts to a card saying "1 hour later"]

Frank: Man, i'm hungry, can we get some food?

Bank Robbin' Ben: Okay, how do you all feel about pizza?

Betty: It's hot.

Eustace: I can't gum pizza!

Bank Robbin' Ben: Well too bad, I love pizza.

[Ben grabs another phone, dials a pizza place]

Bank Robbin' Ben: Yeah i'd like 5 pepperoni pizzas..... yeah, 5..... okay..... delivery..... thanks.

[Ben hangs up the phone, cuts to the Pizza guy knocking on the door with 5 pizzas, Ben opens the door]

Bank Robbin' Ben: Here's yer twenty five bucks, thanks for the pizzas.

Pizza Guy: No problem?

Cop: Bring him out here! (offscreen)

Pizza Guy: Huh?

Cop: nevermind. (offscreen)

[Ben closes the door, walks over to the table with the pizzas, grabs one for himself]

Bank Robbin' Ben: Everyone, eat up!

Walter: Yummy!

[all the old people go for the pizza as we cut to a card saying "5 hours later", everyone's all tired]

Bank Robbin' Ben: Fine.

[cuts back to the cops, all cheering, then fades to all the seniors leaving, then Ben, Red, Ned and Ted, getting into the car]

Bank Robbin' Ben: So long.

[they drive away]

Mr. Krabs: What a crazy season.

Mr. Shicowa: I know right?

[Just as they say that, Maja walks into the scene]

Maja: You're telling me.

[as she says that, they all walk back into the retirement home, the cops drive off, and a sunrise occurs, we pan up to above the retirement complex]

Narrator: Here ends our tale for the citizens of Kelp City, for now.

[fade to black, credits play, fade from black to show a cartoon version of Jasbre]

Jasbre: Hey viewers, i'd just like to say, thanks so much for reading, watching and liking this spin-off. It means a lot, and what's great is that this is just Leg One of the characters' journies, keep a sharp eye out for some news over the summer, as we return with a new season on September 30th. This has been a fun season, and this was a fun season to write. And we'll be working on the new season over the summer on our airing hiatus. As always, i'm your favorite black duck, for any haters out there, eat a rock. Bye, bye!

[cuts to black, end of season and episode]

Appearances

 * Eugene Krabs
 * Mark Shicowa
 * Mr. Richards
 * Adam Fishman
 * Eustace Wendell
 * Walter Ben
 * Dave Finnigan
 * Adam Fishman
 * Cop
 * Cop #2 (debut)
 * Cop #3 (debut)
 * Bank Robbin' Ben (debut)
 * Ned (debut)
 * Red (debut)
 * Ted (debut)
 * Pizza Guy (debut)
 * Maja (cameo)
 * Narrator
 * Jasbre (debut)

Trivia

 * Seth Rogan and Bill Hader guest voice.
 * Maja has a brief cameo at the end.
 * This episode could act as a potential series finale, but the show was renewed for a 2nd season.
 * Jasbre appears in a post-credits scene.
 * This is the last episode to feature June Foray as the voice of Betty.
 * The ratings for the original airing of this episode were 10.63 million viewers.