The Quest for a Cookie

The Quest for a Cookie is the first episode of Fakality Island. It is the introduction episode, so there are no challenges and no one gets eliminated.

Transcript
(the episode opens with Boxy the Box in the island’s treehouse, the box approaches the viewers)

Boxy: Hi guys, gals, non-guys nor girls and the rest of ya. My name is Boxy the Box, yes, that is actually my name. (holds up his birth certificate) Here’s my birth certificate! What more do you want? (rips his birth certificate up) Anyway, heh-heh, welcome to the first episode of a new series I like to call “Fakality Island”. Great name, isn’t it? It’s a mix of “fake” and “reality”, which is what this show is - a fake reality show which may or may not be rigged! Anyway, 15 contestants will be living on this jungle-like island for who-knows-how-long. They will be competing in challenges and games to win one thing - (holds up a cookie) this chocolate-chip cookie. 15 contestants, but only one winner, and what else? YOU get to vote for who it is. This is Fakality Island! Let’s meet our contestants!

(the theme song plays before we cut to all 15 contestants boarding a plane, they speak to the audience before they get on)

SpongeBob: Hi, I’m SpongeBob! You probably know me as the guy who makes the Krabby Patties down at the Krusty Krab! (nervous laugh) Was that good?

Camerawoman: Yep.

(SpongeBob boards the plane)

Patrick: No, this is Patrick. (he boards the plane)

Squidward: Hello, ladies. I’m Squidward and I like to think of myself as a world-famous artist, musician and comedian!

Camerawoman: NEXT!

(Squidward sighs as he boards the plane)

Sandy: Sandy Cheeks, martial arts artist, scientist and winner of several notable rodeos. I think any squirrel in Texas knows me. And, of course, as the ocean’s only squirrel, I am a bit of a celebrity. Just don’t mention it to Squidward. (she boards the plane)

Mr. Krabs: Hello, I’m Mr. Krabs and I like money.

Camerawoman: What was your motivation for joining the show?

Mr. Krabs: Money. (he boards the plane)

Hoopla: HOOPLA!!! (he boards the plane)

Patch: hEy, Im PaTcH tHe PuPpY aNd Im A pUpPy! (he boards the plane)

Temmie: hoi im temmie a tem a temmie (she boards the plane)

Robbie: Robbie Rotten here, and a piece of advice to parents watching: don’t let your kids watch this! (he boards the plane)

Mr. Character: I’m Mr. Character, and people try to steal me, like, all the time. Oh, and I saved my Dad from a dragon! (he boards the plane)

Leira: Hi, I’m Leira from SpongeBob Rickrolls the World - go watch it. I know a lot about everything, just don’t ask me about PomPom Hub, I’m not going back there! (she boards the plane)

Chase: Chase is on the case! (he boards the plane)

Caillou: I’m just a kid who’s four, each day I learn some more. I like exploring, I’m Caillou! (he boards the plane)

Peppa: I’m Peppa Pig! (she boards the plane)

SpongeBotetta: Beep-boop. I am SpongeBotetta, the female counterpart of user SpongeBot. I like memes, go watch Fox Kids. Beep-boop. (she boards the plane)

(we cut to all of the contestants on the plane, on their way to the island)

SpongeBob: So, what’s your name?

Caillou: I’m just a kid who-

SpongeBob: No, seriously, you don’t need to say all that,

Caillou: Oh. I’m Caillou! So many things to d-

SpongeBob: Please, stop it. It’s not funny.

Caillou: It’s not?

SpongeBob: No.

Caillou: Oh.

(cut to Squidward talking to Sandy)

Squidward: I don’t know about you, but I sincerely hope every doofus here is voted off because I won’t be able to stand another minute of this sh-

(cut to Patrick talking to SpongeBotetta)

Patrick: Are you sure you’re not SpongeBob in disguise?

SpongeBotetta: Beep-boop. No.

Robbie: I, on the other hand, am the master of disguise!

Patrick: Ew, LazyTown memes!

Robbie: (sighs) Normies still love me. (points to the viewer) You love me, right?

Announcer on the Intercom: You will be reaching your destination shortly.

Leira: Finally!

Chase: Chase is on the case!

Temmie: hoi!

Chase: Hi! I’m Chase!

Temmie: tem temmie

Hoopla: o

Temmie: yAyA!!!!11!!!

Hoopla: Wait, aren’t you just Ariel from The Little Mermaid?

Leira: Nope. I’m completely different!

Hoopla: o

Leira: Everything OK, Hoopla?

Hoopla: Yeah, I’m fine. I’m just waiting for the right moment to scream “Hoopla!”.

Announcer on the Intercom: You have reached your destination.

(the plane suddenly stops in the sky)

Hoopla: HOOPLA!!!

SpongeBob: Woah, that was quick!

Peppa: (looks out the window to see clouds) Are we in Heaven?

Sandy: We’re still in the sky!

SpongeBotetta: What is going on? Beep-boop.

(Boxy the Box appears on a television)

Boxy: Hey, guys! And gals, and all the rest. I see you’ve gotten to know each other a bit better since take-off. The island is directly below us!

Squidward: So, is the plane gonna land or what?

Boxy: (laughs) Of course the plane isn’t gonna land! That’d be too easy! You’re gonna have to skydive down to the island!

Caillou: Where are the parachutes?

Boxy: Parachutes are for wimps! Don’t worry, there’s a huge lake down there - perfectly safe, for some. Anyway, you’re all gonna fall - I mean, skydive down there to the island where I shall tour you. After that, you will each nominate one contestant you want to face the public vote, based purely on first impressions. The two winners of the vote will face the first challenge in the next episode. You’ll be playing for food, so losing is not an option! I’ll explain the rest in time but I will say one thing. From episode two onwards, one contestant will be eliminated from the competition. The contest eliminated will be decided by the viewers and the last contestant standing will be crowned the winner, who will win one chocolate-chip cookie. So, good lu- (the TV abruptly turns off)

SpongeBob: No pressure then.

(the contestants approach a door opening in the plane)

Sandy: Do we really have to skydive all the way down there with no parachutes?

Patrick: Is it safe?

Squidward: Of course it is, you imbecile! (he pushes Patrick out of the plane)

Patrick: WHOA!

(they wait until Patrick safely reaches the pool - they hear a splash)

Patrick: I’m okay, guys!

Squidward: It’s amazing how we can hear him from this distance.

Chase: TV show logic.

Squidward: So, who’s next?

Mr. Krabs: Heh-heh. Well, I mean, I might need to check my wallet first. Just in case anything’s fallen out or will, you know, (pause) fall out!

Squidward: Gimme a break! (he pushes Mr. Krabs out of the plane too)

Peppa: This looks like fun!

(Peppa, Caillou, Chase, SpongeBob, Patrick and Sandy jump out)

Leira: Um…

(Hoopla, Temmie and Patch jump out)

Robbie: Let’s go!

Leira: Um, OK.

(Robbie, Leira and Mr. Character jump out)

Squidward: So, it’s just you and me, SpongeBotetta.

SpongeBotetta: Beep-boop. I sure hope I’m waterproof.

Squidward: Oh, you’ll be fine. (he pushes SpongeBotetta out with a smug look on his face) That got me out of that one.

Camerawoman: Oh no, you’re going too.

Squidward: Huh?

(the camerawoman pushes Squidward out and follows him)

Squidward: THIS IS HORRIBLE!

(cut to everyone safely making their way out of the pool)

Mr. Character: Can’t believe none of us missed!

(Patch attempts to touch him)

Mr. Character: (flinches) Hey! Original character, do not steal!

(Boxy the Box approaches them)

Boxy: So, I see you all made it safely to the bathroom.

Temmie: wait, dis is r brfroom?

Boxy: Yep, you will bath here every night and, oh, the bog’s over there! (he points to a splinter-infested shed) So glad I got my treehouse! And don’t be afraid to get intimate here, either! I’m Boxy, by the way. I’ll show you to camp! (he leads them to a campsite) Here we are: the campsite! Noto shabby, eh?

Caillou: We’re gonna be sleeping in… hammocks?

Boxy: Yep! And you may have noticed that there are only twelve of them, so four of you will have to share.

(all the contestants quickly dart to their own individual hammocks, except SpongeBob, Sandy, Mr. Character and SpongeBotetta)

SpongeBob: (trying to act unhappy) Oh, well, what a shame! I guess we’re sharing a hammock, Sandy! (nervous and awkward laugh)

Sandy: (trying to act unhappier) Yeah, what shame…

Mr. Character: What’s their problem? (SpongeBotetta whispers in his ear) Oh…

Boxy: So, it appears that SpongeBob and Sandy will be sharing, and Mr. Character will be sharing with SpongeBotetta too.

SpongeBotetta: (sarcastically) Lucky me…

Boxy: Right, over there is the Fakality Shop! Each episode from the second one onwards there will be a challenge, and some of you might be lucky enough to win some currency to buy something that you could use to your advantage! Not only that, but sometimes the viewers will vote on who they want to win some extra dosh! My treehouse is just over that bridge, that will usually be where challenges take place. That hut over there is the confessions room, you may go in there to speak your thoughts out loud and place your nominations! Which is what you shall be doing now!

Peppa: Already?

Boxy: Yep, you may nominate one person each to take on next episode’s trial. The four people with the highest votes will take on the public vote. The viewers will decide on who they want to compete, and the top two will be sent straight down to my treehouse next ep! You’ll be nominating purely on first impressions. Understand?

(everyone nods and makes their way to the confessions room, everyone goes in one at a time)

SpongeBob: I’d like to nominate Squidward - he pushed Patrick out of the plane along with some others, and that’s not right.

Patrick: Squidward.

Mr. Krabs: Mr. Squidward.

SpongeBotetta: Squidward.

Sandy: Mr. Character - he’s on to me.

Mr. Character: Patch. He tried to steal me. Period.

Robbie: Patrick - he’s just rude.

Squidward: Patrick. I thought I’d be in here nominating SpongeBob but nope. Patrick is doing my head in.

Chase: Caillou, I hate GoAnimate! Videos.

Peppa: Caillou - he’s stealing my spotlight!

Leira: Patrick.

Hoopla: HOOPLA!!!

Patch: Mr. Character. He accused me of r-

Temmie: misda karata

Caillou: Can I nominate Boxy? No? OK. I nominate Peppa.

(cut to Boxy in his treehouse)

Boxy: OK, so everyone’s finished nominating and no one knows who has nominated who, except me. In no particular order, the four most nominated contestants are Caillou, Squidward, Patrick and Mr. Character. That just leaves it up to you! Vote in the poll below for who you want to face the challenge tomorrow. The two most-voted contestants will face the challenge, I’ll explain more next episode. Remember, you are not voting for elimination, you are voting for who you want to face next episode’s challenge. It’s bye from Fakality Island!

Poll
Who do you want to face next episode's challenge? Caillou Squidward Patrick Mr. Character