Failure (SBTTM)

Failure is the first episode of SpongeBob: To the Max.

Characters

 * SpongeBob
 * Mrs. Puff
 * Patrick
 * Random Man
 * Gary
 * Sandy
 * Bus Driver
 * Fred
 * Mr. Rocko
 * Rock Bottom Students

Synopsis
SpongeBob has failed his boating test for the 9001st time, and Mrs. Puff won't give him another chance.

Transcript
SpongeBob is driving a boat while taking the boating test. Mrs. Puff is sitting next to him, observing.

Mrs. Puff: You suck, SpongeBob.

SB: Suck water?

Mrs. Puff: We all do that, SpongeBob.

SB: Oh.

SpongeBob then accidentally makes a turn, and runs straight into the screen. We see cracks, and it cuts to them in the boat stuck in a man's TV.

Man: Ahh! Cartoon characters!

The man runs away, screaming.

SB: What was all that about?

Mrs. Puff: Just another dumb fourth wall joke. Nothing special.

SB: Oh.

Mrs. Puff: Also, you failed. You know what? I'm done with you, you yellow freak. This is the nine thousandth time-

SB: Actually, the 9001st-

Mrs. Puff: Yeah, yeah, we get it. It's over nine thousand, but that's not the point. The point is, no more chances. You're never getting that license.

SB: How come you didn't give up after the tenth season?

Mrs. Puff: Ugh. Let's go.

It now cuts to Mrs. Puff gesturing at SB to leave the school. He obeys and leaves. He repeats over and over again, "I'm ready, depression."

SB is at his pineapple, sitting in front of the TV.

SB: I don't get it, Gary. How come no matter how hard I try, I just can't pass that test?

Gary: Meow.

SB: Maybe you're right, Gary. Maybe I'm not focusing hard enough.

It cuts to SB at Patrick's rock.

Patrick: Focusing, huh? Try focusing on my ice cream I'm holding for no reason other than to move the plot along, dingus.

SB stares at the ice cream for a few seconds before hyperventilating.

Patrick: Do you need to be restarted?

SB: I'm not a computer, Patrick. I'm a "yellow freak".

Patrick: Don't listen to Mrs. Puff. She's a big fat meanie.

Patrick pulls out from his pocket a piece of paper that says "big fat meanie" from New Student Starfish.

SB: You're right. I'm going to see Sandy.

Patrick: Okay.

SB leaves.

Patrick: What do I do with this plot device, though?

He eats the ice cream.

We now see SB in Sandy's treedome.

Sandy: So you need to learn to focus, eh?

SB: You're Canadian?

Sandy: No, silly, I'm from Texas. Anyway, focusing means to put your mind on a single thing for a limited... (turns into gibberish)

SB: Just get to the point, Sandy.

Sandy: Alright.

She pulls out a watch with a strap and rocks it back and forth.

Sandy: Focus on this.

SB stares at the watch.

Sandy: Good. Now repeat after me. I will focus.

SB: I will focus.

Sandy: I am Sandy's new husband.

SB: I am Sandy's new husb- no. Just no.

Sandy laughs.

The next day, SB arrives at boating school. Mrs. Puff spots him.

Mrs. Puff: Nu-uh. Not on my watch.

SB: But-

Mrs. Puff: No buts! Next time I see you here, I'm calling the police!

SB sadly walks away back to his house.

SB: What am I going to do, Gary? I can't go back to boating school now.

Gary: Meow meow meow meow meow.

SB: Hmm... I never thought of that. Time to find a new boating school.

SB goes on his computer to find a new boating school.

SB: There's one! In... Rock Bottom? Eh... sure. What could possibly go wrong?

Gary: Meow (On-screen translation: Everything, you brick head).

It cuts to SB at a bus stop. He sees the bus, and he steps inside it.

Bus Driver: Gimme your money!

SB: Ahhh! A robbery!

Bus Driver: No, you idiot. Just gimme your money.

SB: Oh.

He pulls out a shiny quarter and throws it in the bus driver's face.

Bus Driver: Ow! My face!

Fred (on the bus): My leg!

SB takes his seat.

The bus arrives at Rock Bottom. The door opens, and SB exits the bus.

SB: Whoa. This place... is... disgusting! Just look at this place. There's a fire hydrant that hasn't been peed on yet!

SB gets in a position as if he's a dog about to pee on the hydrant.

(Commercial break)

SB: It sure has been a while. This place is worse than ever before.

A chirping sound plays in the background.

SB looks at what seems to be a clam on a black coral tree.

SB: Hold that thought.

He slowly walks up to the tree.

SB: Hey, clammy. Clammy, clammy!

The clam hisses and shows its sharp teeth.

SB jumps backward.

SB: Never mind!

SB starts walking along the left side of the road. He starts singing.

Oh, I'm on a road.

On the Rock Bottom road.

It's a rocky road.

I gotta stop saying road.

Road, road, road, road...

It shows a time card that says "One long road song later..."

SB sees a building in the distance. He can just barely make out the words "Driving Rock Bottom."

SB: There it is!

He starts running toward the building. He arrives after a few seconds.

SB: I'm finally here!

He opens the double doors. It reveals a long, empty hallway. He slowly walks forward, looking at stuff along the way.

SB: World's fastest driver? World's dumbest driver? World's... greenest driver?

A completely green eel approaches him.

Mr. Rocko: Hey, I'm Mr. Rocko. Is your name... SpongeBoy?

SB: No, I'm SpongeBob.

Mr. Rocko: Hey there, SpongeBob. Want to go to my boating school?

SB: Yeah.

Mr. Rocko: Okay!

He pulls out a clipboard and a pen.

Mr. Rocko: Just sign here.

SB signs his name on the clipboard with the pen.

Mr. Rocko: See you tomorrow.

SB: See ya.

A title card shows up that says: Tomorrow

SB once again enters the empty hallway. This time, there are people in the hallway.

Student 1: Yeah, and I heard, she was beautiful!

Student 2: Nah, she's uglier than my grandma. You're just an idiot.

Student 1: Patrick from SpongeBob SquarePants is an idiot. I'm just a normal kid wanting my boating license.

SB: Hey there, fellas.

Student 1: You new here?

Student 2: Probably. Hey, another loser to beat up.

SB widens his eyes and starts speed walking to a door with a sign that says "Mr. Rocko." He barely manages to open it and close it without getting caught by the bully.

Student 2: C'mon! That's the fifth time this week!

Mr. Rocko's classroom has about 20 desks in it. SB sits in one of them. Others quickly take their seats as well.

Mr. Rocko enters the room.

Mr. Rocko: Okay, it's time for yet another year of boating class. Since there have been more requirements to get your boating license, school's going to be a bit harder this year.

The whole class groans, including SB.

Mr. Rocko: Any questions?

A kid raises his hand.

Mr. Rocko: Yes?

Kid (with fake French accent): Are you gonna finish that croissant? (Makes French noises)

The class laughs.

Mr. Rocko: Any non-idiotic related questions? Okay, then. Let's start. Boating is a form of transportation that the majority of us... Stop at the red light, and go at the green light... Driving on the left side is a felony... blah blah blah blah blah blah...

SB falls asleep.

Mr. Rocko: SB? You alright? It's time for your test drive.

SB: Oh. Okay.

We now see the driving course. SB and Mr. Rocko are seen next to it.

Mr. Rocko: Now, we get into the boat like this.

He steps into the boat next to him.

SB gets in the driver's seat.

Mr. Rocko: You know the drill?

SB: All of 'em.

We see a montage of SB going through the driving course. Eventually, he finishes.

Mr. Rocko: Congrats. That was just the test drive, though.

SB gulps.

Trivia

 * Two memes are referenced in this episode:
 * Are You Going to Finish That Croissant? and It's Over 9000
 * SB peeing on the fire hydrant is a nod to when Patrick did the same thing in Spot Returns.
 * There are several fourth wall jokes in this episode.