SpongeBob SquarePants: Battle for Bikini Bottom/Transcript

Overhead shot of Bikini Bottom.

[French Narrator]: Ah, the ocean, teeming with life, some simple;

Patrick's rock is seen.

[French Narrator]: Some intelligent;

Squidward's easter island head is seen.

[French Narrator]: And some just naive.

SpongeBob's pineapple is seen.

The Chum Bucket is seen.

[French Narrator]: But that is not what we are looking at today, for another classification of creature is plotting a maniacal scheme to destroy the hopes and dreams of every- uh, I mean, he's evil, you get it.

A shot of Plankton's laboratory is seen, and Plankton is rapidly pressing buttons while simultaneously calling somebody on a phone.

Karen powers on.

[Karen]: And what exactly are you doing?

[Plankton]: This is one of my greatest plans yet! I will enlist the help of E.V.I.L. and build an army to conquer the world!

[Karen]: Who had a what now?

[Plankton]: Agh, nevermind, you wouldn't understand.

Plankton hops to a windowsill with a direct view of the burger joint The Krusty Krab.

[Plankton]: You may think you're safe in your excuse for a restaurant, Krabs, but my plan will destroy your entire world!

Plankton begins laughing evilly, his laughter fading away as a bubble transition cuts to SpongeBob's alarm clock.

The alarm clock ticks, and suddenly it goes off like a loud horn.

SpongeBob's eyes fly open, and he presses the button to silence the clock.

[SpongeBob]: Another beautiful day in Bikini Bottom!

He turns to his pet snail, Gary, resting beside his bed.

[SpongeBob]: Good morning Gary!

[Gary]: Meow.

[SpongeBob]: Good morning, beautiful city!

He ran to the window, Bikini Bottom looks like a drab wasteland.

[SpongeBob]: Woah. The city doesn't look so beautiful, Gary.

[Gary]: Meow.

[SpongeBob]: Eh, must be what Squidward was saying when I was last over, "morning nuisances."

SpongeBob opens his window to shout at Squidward's house, which neighbored his.

[SpongeBob]: I understand now, Squidward!

[Squidward]: Wha-

SpongeBob slams his window shut.

[SpongeBob]: Well, time to go to work!

Bubble transition cuts to SpongeBob marching along a road to work.

[SpongeBob]: I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready-

A fish wearing full body armor and a helmet watches SpongeBob pass and radios something.

[SpongeBob]: That fish didn't look so nice... ha! He probably caught the morning nuisances! I'm ready, I'm ready-

A robot resembling Plankton spots SpongeBob and watches him pass threateningly.

[SpongeBob]: Wait a second... a robot? What's going on around here...

''SpongeBob screeches to a halt to see the Krusty Krab surrounded by soldiers and robots. They hang up a flag representing an evil lemon with tentacles stretching out, and the text "E.V.I.L."''

[SpongeBob]: Oh my gosh! It's E.V.I.L., the I.J.L.S.A.'s greatest nemesis, and they're taking control of the Krusty Krab! This is a job for-

A Plankton-bot shocks SpongeBob into unconsciousness, the screen blacks out.

''The screen slowly opens, representing SpongeBob's eyelids. SpongeBob realizes he's being held captive alongside his friends.''

[SpongeBob]: Jumping Jellyfish!

[Squidward]: Please stop, SpongeBob. The last thing I need is your obnoxious voice ringing in my ears.

[SpongeBob]: Sorry.

[Plankton]: Ah, it does my hearty good to know I've put all my enemies into captivity.

Plankton is sitting in a mechanical suit beside Man-Ray and the Dirty Bubble.

[Mr. Krabs]: Plankton! Why are ye doing this?

[Plankton]: I thought it was obvious; TO RULE THE WORLD!

[The Dirty Bubble]: Yeah, yeah, but I was wondering if I could get a mint chocolate double cone with a side of-

[Patrick]: Did someone say ice cream?

[Squidward]: Patrick, can't you see we're captive?

Plankton begins straining in rage as everybody begins talking simultaneously.

[Sandy]: Hopefully not for long, Squidward. I'm seeing if I can use my Escape-from-a-hostage-situation-for-testing-reasons-o-matic to break free of these mechanical handcuffs!

[The Dirty Bubble]: But seriously, do you guys have pizza? 'Cuz I could go for an extra cheese with olives-

[Plankton]: SILENCE!

The room instantly becomes silent, everybody stops talking.

[Plankton]: You blabbering idiots! I think I'll have to punish you for this misbehavior...

SpongeBob and Patrick begin loudly shivering.

[Plankton]: Something so painful...

SpongeBob and Patrick start chattering their teeth.

[Plankton]: A torture i am unable to explain to keep a PG rating...

[SpongeBob and Patrick]: Oh please Mister Plankton, anything!

[Plankton]: Fine.

''SpongeBob and Patrick sigh in relief. Squidward rolls his eyes.''

[Plankton]: I'll just have to... SEND YOU TO THE SURFACE!

Everybody begin screaming in shock as Plankton, Man-Ray and the Dirty Bubble begin laughing.

Everybody stops when they hear Squidward unenthusiastically yelling.

[Man-Ray]: This is awkward.

[Plankton]: Welp, to the execution!

A bubble transition cuts to the edge of the surface, leading to the island seen in the theme song.

[Patrick]: Mister Plankton sir, can I have a final request?

[Plankton]: What is it, pinky?

[Patrick]: May I have one more ice cream cone?

[Plankton]: Let me think... No!

Patrick falls to his knees and stares up into the sky.

[Patrick]: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

[Guard1]: Ugh... get up...

[Guard2]: Why do we always get the idiots...?

SpongeBob looks back at Bikini Bottom, distant from where they stood.

[SpongeBob]: Goodbye, Bikini Bottom... if only Mermaidman and Barnacle Boy were here.

[The Dirty Bubble]: Fool! Those old idiots are in captivity at the Krusty Krab!

[Man-Ray]: Uh, Bubble-

[The Dirty Bubble]: You'll need to get past each wave of E.V.I.L. military division we've strategically placed! THe only why to beat them is if you know they're there!

[Man-Ray]: Bubble...

[The Dirty Bubble]: And don't even get me started on the secret weapon... ME!

[Plankton and Man-Ray]: BUBBLE!

[The Dirty Bubble]: Oh, yeah, sorry.

[Patrick]: You're a very advanced group of people.

[Plankton]: Silence! I will send you up now.

[Mr. Krabs]: Aye, Plankton, send me up.

[Plankton]: No... I have more plans than you.

[Squidward]: What could make that sweaty crustacean more important than me?

[Patrick]: Yeah, what's more important than Squidward?

[SpongeBob]: That's a strong argument, I've got to admi-

Plankton angrily pushes SpongeBob, Patrick, Squidward and Sandy above the surface.

[Sandy]: Watch the tail!

The four stumble up, not being able to see under the surface.

[SpongeBob]: What is this place...?

[Squidward]: Whatever it is, it better have a spa.

[Patrick]: and ice cream.

[Sandy]: C'mon critters, it ain't so bad!

She throws off her helmet.

[Patrick]: Easy for you to say. You're a quirrel.

[SpongeBob]: Squirrel, Patrick.

[Patrick]: Oh, what would you know?!

[SpongeBob]: Come on, guys, I know we're under tense conditions, but we need to work as a team to stop E.V.I.L.!

He spins around and begins marching towards the water, only to float on the surface.

[Sandy]: You can't get down with proper prepulsion.

[Patrick]: Pistachio ice cream?! WHERE?!

In the background, Patrick begins searching and practically beating up Squidward, who cries in dismay.

[SpongeBob]: Well, surely there's somebody here who can tell us how to get back to Bikini bottom.

[Sandy] Yes, somebody with the right technology.

[SpongeBob]: But who'd give us that?

[Sandy]: Well, if persuading doesn't work, I can throw out a little kar-ah-tay, and then they'll hand it over.

Patrick suddenly stops.

[Patrick]: I smell ice cream!

He begins sprinting to away, trampling Squidward in the process.

[SpongeBob]: Get up, Squidward! Whoever has ice cream has a way outta here.

The gang chases Patrick through a jungle, and they come across a camp, and a pirate is licking an ice cream cone.

Patrick jumps and steals the gigantic ice cream.

[Burger Beard]: Hey! Little rat!

Patrick growls and begins eating the ice cream savagely.

[SpongeBob]: Hello, mister?

[Burger Beard]: Woah, I did not see you there, little fella.

[SpongeBob]: Hello, sir, we're looking for a way underwater.

[Squidward]: Yeah, this island stinks!

[Burger Beard]: Why, yes, I happen to have some pirate technology.

[Sandy]: Give it to us or we'll rough you up!

Burger Beard starts laughing.

[Burger Beard]: Fine, but I have one condition.

[Squidward]: And that is?

[Burger Beard]: That would be... take me with you!

[SpongeBob]: But, that's impossible!

[Sandy]: Actually, I just happened to bring along a shrink ray!

[Patrick, while chewing]: I read about this. Isn't that something like plot convenience?

[SpongeBob]: That would have to mean we're in a movie, Patrick.

[Patrick]: Ah.

Sandy uses her shrink ray on Burger Beard and his bag of gadgets.

Burger Beard is now the size of them.

[Squidward]: Well?

[Burger Beard]: I will lead the way.

They make their way back to the beach.

[Patrick]: What now?

[Burger Beard]: Here.

He hands each of the jet packs, and straps one on himself.

[Squidward]: So we just-

Everybody but Burger Beard begins screaming as they are shot to the ocean floor.

The jetpacks short circuit.

[Burger Beard]: So, what's your plan?

[SpongeBob]: Well, E.V.I.L. is keeping Mermaidman and Barnacle Boy hostage at the Chum Bucket.

[Burger Beard]: Who?

SpongeBob catches Burger Beard up.

[Burger Beard]: Well, by the time we get to your friends, E.V.I.L. will have sent an army... so...?

[Sandy]: I'll unite an alliance of Bikini Bottomites to send in as backup. You critters take care a yerselves.

Sandy runs away.

[Squidward]: There is no way I'm fighting. I'll take my chances with Sandy. Hey, Sandy! Wait up!

Squidward runs away.

[SpongeBob]: Well, It's just us three now.

[Patrick]: No way! I need ice cream!

Patrick runs away.

[Burger Beard]: Some friends you got there.

[SpongeBob]: I guess we're doing this alone.

[Burger Beard]: Yeah.

A bubble transition cuts to the fortified Chum Bucket.

Burger Beard shows SpongeBob a map.

[Burger Beard]: WIth my cloaking device, we'll make it through the back before it runs out of juice. From there we need to be sneaky.

[SpongeBob]: Let's do this, then.

They make it through the front defenses with ease, until they get to the outside of the Chum Bucket, where the cloaking devices run out of fuel.

[Burger Beard]: Quiet...

They climb through the window, Mermaidman and Barnacle Boy are chained to the wall.

[SpongeBob]: Mermaidman and Barnacle Boy!

[Mermaidman]: Wah...

Karen powers on.

[Karen]: Intruders!

SpongeBob gasps.

[Burger Beard]: Quiet, will you... the courageous Burger Beard shoots the computer, short circuiting it as his spongy friend cowers behind!

[SpongeBob]: Oh, so you're names Burger Beard! I forgot to ask.

[Karen]: I will destroy y-

Burger Beard does as he previously said.

[Burger Beard]: We've gotta get out of here!

[SpongeBob]: But-

Burger Beard pulls him out the door, where the Dirty Bubble is waiting with an army.

[The Dirty Bubble]: Captain!

[Soldier]: Yes, sir?

[The Dirty Bubble]: Tell your men to clear the area... I got this.

The army speeds away to create a ring surrounding the three.

[The Dirty Bubble]: I have dreamed of this day. I will prove I am not a chatterbox and I don't easily get distracted By my own words by capturing you! Plankton will promote me to have control of the entire E.V.I.L. military division, and Man-Ray will eat my dust! They'll see, they'll all se-

The Dirty Bubble is popped by Burger Beard who simply walked over and poked him.

The army gasps.

[SpongeBob]: That was easier than I thought.

Man-Ray shows up with a gigantic army.

[Man-Ray]: We received a distress signal. You got guts, kid. Too bad I gotta rip 'em outta you.

[Soldier]: Sir!

[Man-Ray]: What is it?

[Soldier]: Rebels!

Explosions begin scattering among the armies, and Sandy jumps down from an airship!

[Sandy]: Yee-haw!

Squidward and Patrick follow.

[SpongeBob]: Good work, guys!

SpongeBob turns to Burger Beard.

[SpongeBob]: Come on, let's go beat Plankton!

[Burger Beard]: I will stay behind to save Mermaidman and Barnacle Boy from Karen.

[SpongeBob]: Good luck.

[Sandy]: I'll lead the Alliance against Man-Ray.

[Squidward]: That leaves me...

SpongeBob and Patrick stare at Squidward, drooling.

[Squidward]: ...with you two.

Squidward groans.

A bubble transition cuts to the Krusty Krab.

SpongeBob, Patrick and Squidward run inside to find Plankton with Mr. Krabs tied up.

[Plankton]: What is this? I thought I executed you!

[Squidward]: It's gonna take a lot more to execute my paycheck.

[Plankton]: No matter; I will simply destroy you-

Patrick falls from the ceiling, destroying Plankton's mech suit.

[SpongeBob]: Patrick! What were you doing up there?

[Patrick]: What?

[SpongeBob]: Up- nevermind.

[Plankton]: This is not over!

''The ceiling breaks in, and a giant fist airship hovers above. SpongeBob can see Burger Beard, Man-Ray and the Dirty Bubble standing there, and a rope is thrown down, of which Plankton climbs up.''

[SpongeBob]: Burger Beard? What are you doing?!

[Burger Beard]: I struck a deal with Karen.

[Squidward (unenthusiastically)]: I should've known.

[Plankton]: See ya later, fool!

The airship flies away.

[SpongeBob]: He betrayed us.

[Mr. Krabs]: Aye, well at least Plankton is stopped. For now.

[SpongeBob]: Yeah...

[Patrick]: I don't know about you guys, but I wanna go grab some pizza. You in?

[SpongeBob and Squidward]: Sure.

SpongeBob, Patrick and Squidward walk out of the Krusty Krab.

[Mr. Krabs]: Uh, boys?

The camera cuts to outside the Krusty Krab.

[Mr. Krabs]: A little help? I'll throw in a free napkin!

The screen cuts to black.

[Mr. Krabs]: Help...?