Sea Séance

Sea Séance is the twenty-ninth episode of Livin' With The Squid.

Characters

 * SpongeBob SquarePants
 * Matthew Krabs
 * Patrick Star
 * Squidward Tentacles (cameos)
 * Flying Dutchman (cameo)
 * Gill Gilliam (cameo)
 * Sadie (nonspeaking cameo)

Plot
SpongeBob and Matthew hold a séance in order to try and get Patrick back.

Story
PREVIOUSLY ON LIVIN' WITH THE SQUID... "You're gay?!" Squidward growled, glaring at his two roommates. "Well, that's slang. The correct term is homosexual," SpongeBob corrected. "It's the same thing! The some goddamn terrible thing!" Squidward shouted. "I don't get the big deal is anyway. Atleast it's a real orientation. Unlike asexuality..." Patrick muttered. "GAYS MUST DIE!" Squidward hollered, quickly taking out a chainsaw. "Squidward, have you been drinking Red Mist again?" SpongeBob smirked.

Squidward once used to live in Bikini Bottom

With neighbors SpongeBob and Patrick

But then he had enough

He couldn't take them anymore

So he moved to Coral City

And well now let's just say

It couldn't have gotten any worse!

NO, WAIT. THAT WAS FROM AN UPCOMING EPISODE. SORRY ABOUT THAT, GUYS. HERE'S THE REAL CLIP. Suddenly Patrick fell down to the ground. “Patrick? Patrick, are you okay?” Matthew asked, quickly kneeling down to the ground and checking his pulse. “Gah! Gah! PATRICK! Patrick, where’s your pulse?! I-It’s not there?! Are you okay?! Patrick?! PATRICK?!” Matthew panicked. Then Squidward walked over to the two, glancing at Patrick's dead body. "What happened to him?" he asked. "Squidward! You''ve gotta help! I-I can't find Patrick's pulse!" Matthew exclaimed. ''

"You mean he's finally dead? OH YEAH BABY! I-I've been waiting for moment all my life! Oh, god! This is so great I might as well throw a party for it!" Squidward grinned, quickly running into Phoebe's Party Parts. "Well, he's no help. Perhaps I should call 911. I just hope that the police down here aren't as useless as the police up on the surface," he said, quickly getting out his phone and dialing the number. Suddenly, the ambulance arrived right away.

"How'd you know I needed an ambulance?" Matthew asked. "We didn't. We just love riding in this thing!" Officer John grinned. "Hop in!" Officer Nancy called out. "Uh...alright then," Matthew said, placing Patrick into the back of the ambulance and hopping in with them. "Oh, hey Patrick! How's it been going?" Officer Nancy asked. However, Patrick's body just stayed still. "Hey, he's not answering me!" Officer Nancy growled. "Nancy, he's unconscious. That's why we're taking him to the hospital," Officer John said drlyly. "Ooohhh..." the police officer commented.

GIL GILLIAM'S OFFICE "Yep, he's dead," Gil stated. "What?! That possibly be right! Doc, you've gotta be playing with us!" SpongeBob exclaimed. "I never play...except in bed, that is," the doctor chuckled, Sadie walking over to him. "Come on, Sadie. Let's go f*** on one of the hospital bedds again," Gill said, the two of them walking off together. "What in the world...?" Matthew asked, a distrubed expression on his face. "We don't have time to worry about the messed up writing on this show right now, Matt! We have to get Patrick back!" SpongeBob said. "And just how exactly are we gonna do that?" Matt asked dryly, crossing his arms. "We'll hold...A SÉANCE," SpongeBob announced.

TENTACLES RESIDENCE Squidward's house had been decorated with party supplies, a giant banner hanging up that read "PATRICK FINALLY KILLED HIMSELF". Suddenly, the doorbell rang. "I'll get it!" Squidward shouted, quickly racing out of the kitchen and over to the front door, swiftly opening it. "Hiya there, Squidward! I heard Patrick finally killed himself!" Howard grinned. "He sure did! Welcome to the party!" Squidward greeted. Meanwhile, in SpongeBob's room, they had been holding the séance. "Oh, holy, holy, holy ghost! Please come back to us! Come back to us now!" SpongeBob stated.

Suddenly, Squidward's spirit appeared in the room. "Squidward? When did you die?" SpongeBob asked. "Oh, I'm not Squidward. I'm his hopes and dreams. And I died a very, very long time ago...when Squidward first met Patrick," the ghost explained. "OH YEAH BABY! PATRICK'S DEAD!" Squidward could be heard shouting off-screen. Suddenly, the ghost of Squidward's hopes and dreams' eyes widened. "He is?!" the spirit gasped happily, his color suddenly changing from green to gold. "I gotta check this out!" he said, racing downstairs.

"O...kay then. Let's try this again. Ghost, oh ghost, who we saw just a while ago, appear to us once again now!" Matthew called out. Suddenly, the Flying Dutchman appeared. "Mwhahaha! Finally, I've escaped that damn vaccum cleaner!" The Flying Dutchman announced. "The Flying Dutchman?" SpongeBob and Matthew asked in unison. "Gah!" The Flying Dutchman gasped, quickly backing away from the two. "Oh, please don't trap me in that vaccum cleaner again! Please! Or even worse, send that crazy squid girl after me again! Ooh, that was terrible!" The Flying Dutchman pleaded.

"Okay, Dutchman. We won't do any of that stuff on one condition: You bring my boyfriend, Patrick, back," SpongeBob smirked. "You guys are dating?" Matthew and the Flying Dutchman asked in unison. "Yes. But don't let Squidwawrd know," SpongeBob confirmed. "Fine, I'll bring your little friend," The Flying Dutchman, raising his hand in the air and suddenly making Patrick appear into the room, good as new. "Oh, come on! My pills didn't work!" Patrick ranted. Suddenly, both SpongeBob and Matthew pulled him into a hug. "So, uh...I guess I'll just kill some children then," The Flying Dutchman said, flying off.

Trivia

 * The cold open of this episode is a scene from "Homophobic Homicide".
 * The events of "Hallohate 2: Haunted House" are brought up in this episode.