Squid's Gotten Crushy

Squidward's Gotten Crushy is the first episode of the 2016 series Pat Vs Pat.

Characters

 * SpongeBob
 * Patrick
 * Squidward
 * Squilvia [mentioned]
 * Officer T
 * Krabs [not speaking]

Transcript
[The scene cuts to SpongeBob's house. Squidward bangs the door]

SpongeBob: [moaning] What do you want?

Squidward: Come Outside!!!!

SpongeBob: Fine. You little piece of sh-[looking outside] HOLY SEA NEEDLE!!!!!

Squidward: MEI HAUZE IS AWN FIRE [Squidward faints after his house finally burns down to the ground]

Officer T: [Comes over to SpongeBob] He alive?

SpongeBob: Yes....I guess? What in fricks sake happened?

Officer T: Some mumbo-jumbo ignited kerosene and burned his house. We have the perpetrator in the station. His name is "Eugene Harold Krabs"

SpongeBob: My boss? Are you sure?

Officer T: Was he sniffing for money in the police station before we knocked him out?

SpongeBob: Yep, it's my boss....

Officer T: He's serving a life-sentence

SpongeBob: Wait...Who's going to pay for my house?

Officer T: We found you an apartment. A friend of yours named "Sandy" agreed to shelter you.

SpongeBob: Thank you officer.

Officer: No problem

SpongeBob: [Seeing Patrick gaze at the fire on the other side] Patrick!!!

Patrick: [Turns toward SpongeBob. Patrick runs to SpongeBob] Yeah?

SpongeBob: Move in with us!

Patrick: I heard your talk. Of course I am!

SpongeBob: One more thing. Where are we going to sleep if our houses are commended

Patrick: [Hitting with a pan to Squidward] He'll be unconscious till maybe 8 o clock. I take his left!

SpongeBob: Agreed. [The two fall asleep. Morning comes]

Patrick: Wake up!

SpongeBob: [moaning] I'm up...

Squidward: Why would he do such a thing?

SpongeBob: I thought he only bombed your house

Squidward: He set bombs near your house, but the bomb failed

SpongeBob: THAT IDIOT!!!!!

Patrick: Wait, where are we?

Sandy: At my apartment

Squidward: Can I call Squilvia

Sandy: She earning 10 an hour

Squidward: 15

Sandy: She can move

Squidward: YAAAASSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [picks up the phone]

SpongeBob: So, Sandy are there any jobs

Sandy: Yeah...three at a 8-Twelve gas station a block away

SpongeBob: We'll apply tomorrow

Squidward: Yey [hangs up]

Patrick: Movin'

Squidward: Yes

[Tonight. The gang is watching a TV show, except SpongeBob

SpongeBob: "Dear Diary, I made a big move today. My life changed for ever. Neptune lead me to this barr"-

Patrick: A diary?

SpongeBob: So.....

Patrick: The coconut scene is coming

SpongeBob: [running through the hallway] Really?

Patrick: Uhhhhhh............