"I Quit!" (transcript)

(Squidward yawns)

Squidward: Ugh. Another bore at the Krusty Krab. The most disgusting place in the world.

SpongeBob: Oh Squidward, YOU'RE a bore.

Mr.. Krabs: Oh SpongeBob, you're a bore.

(SpongeBob pauses)

SpongeBob: Excusei moi?

Mr.. Krabs: Sponges galore!

SpongeBob: Yes, yes.

Squidward: You know, I want to quit again, and this time, for the rest of my life!

(Mr.. Krabs and SpongeBob gasp)

Squidward: That's it! I'm getting a new job that would upset you two most.

Mr.. Krabs: Don't make it be...

Squidward: Right... (Close up of snazzy Squidward's face)

Squidward: The Chum Bucket!

Mr.. Krabs: Noooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Squidward walks up to the Chum Bucket, knocks on the door, and sees Plankton)

Plankton: Hello, are you lost? The Krusty Krab is...Squidward?

Squidward: Yes I am! I want a job at your brilliant place here!

Plankton: I...I never thought I'd hear those words spoken to me. You've got the job. And...I love you Squidward!

Squidward: I love you too, Plankton! Now, can you please show me my station?

Plankton: You are planned to make the best chum ever!

Squidward: Whoo-hoo! Let's do this!

(Back at the Krusty Krab)

Mr.. Krabs: I see that Squidward got the job. That annoyance! Just like SpongeBob.

SpongeBob: You say wha?

Mr.. Krabs: NOT like SpongeBob.

SpongeBob: Yeah....Hey, wait! Why in the world did Squidward want to just go to the Chum Bucket anyways?

Mr.. Krabs: Foe. He's our foe.

SpongeBob: Ugh. Who wants to hang with him anyways, now that he's our foe?

Mr.. Krabs: No one except for...

(Scene goes to the Chum Bucket) Squidward: Plankton! I've got the recipe!

Plankton: Perfect! Can I see it?

Squidward: Okay!

Plankton: Okay, the recipe is......


 * 1 pound of freshy grounded meat


 * a pinch of maple sugar (for flavor)


 * a tad bit of water

Wow, are you an expert or something?
 * top it off with gravy

Squidward: Yes, yes I am!

Plankton: Now! Let's try it out!

(Montage of Plankton making the new chum and advertising it)

Old Man Jenkins: Oooh....Delicious flavour? I want to try!

Plankton: Here's our customer!

Old Man Jenkins: I'd like some chum please.

Plankton: Okay! Squidward, some chum for the customer!

Squidward: Okay, graceful organism! And here's your chum, Jenkins.

Old Man Jenkins: Thanks.

(Old Man Jenkins goes to a table and eats the chum)

Old Man Jenkins: Wow. This is amazing!

--

Mr.. Krabs: Amazing!? Oh, I'm doomed! The Chum Bucket's beatin' me!

Suzie Fish: Now, can I have a K-R-A-B-B-Y Patty please?

Mr.. Krabs: Okay! Now where was I? Oh yeah... I wish Squidward...

Suzie Fish: ...wasn't like SpongeBob? Yeah.

SpongeBob: Suzie wha?

Suzie Fish: Dozens of SpongeBobs! Now I'm going to go to the awesome Chum Bucket!

Mr.. Krabs: Noooo!!!

SpongeBob: Right...?

(Screen goes to the Chum Bucket)

Plankton: (in music form) You know, I see, the world has been changed for me,

and been so wonderful,

(Scene goes to Squidward dancing)

eat chum,

breathe water,

imagine if I had a daughter,

It'll be so wonderful!

It's all for real!

This is how I really feel, so...

(Customers come and confetti falls and everyone dances)

Wake up members, it is celebration,

it's the time to groove--Huh?

(Mr.. Krabs bursts into the chum bucket)

Mr.. Krabs: That's enough flim-flam, Plankton!

Plankton: HUH?

Mr.. Krabs: I am taking your formula and using it in my resturaunt!

Plankton: (Whistles) Squidward!

Mr.. Krabs: You Wouldn't...

(Squidward charges towards Mr.. Krabs, knocking him down)

Plankton: You see, I always get what I want. Get him Squiddy.

(SpongeBob comes in)

Oh, and here comes the nitwit sponge.

SpongeBob: Plankton wha?

Plankton: You call that a sentence, you buff-- never mind.

(SpongeBob took the formula and threw Squidward's clarinet into the street. Squidward went and got it, and while he was, SpongeBob took Mr.. Krabs back)

Mr.. Krabs: Thank you SpongeBob!

(Later, SpongeBob and Mr.. Krabs were selling chum and krabby patties to people.)

Mr.. Krabs: Wow. I am getting double the money!

SpongeBob: All's well as ends well!

(SpongeBob starts laughing)

(Zooms out of Krusty Krab)

Mr.. Krabs: That was not funny.

(Episode ends)