PolarKey/Unaired Peppa Pilot

Here it is, the unaired and unfinished Peppa Pig-inspired spin-off in all its glory, Snail Up a Tree. All content is raw material. Note: SpongeBob is only five years old.

Transcript
(cuts to an outside shot of the SquarePants' Residence)

Narrator: Snail Up a Tree. SpongeBob is in his house doing his homework. (cut to SpongeBob in the kitchen with his mum doing his homework)

Mum: So, SpongeBob, what is ten multiplied by one?

SpongeBob: Hmm, (pause) 11 o' clock! It's 11 o' clock, Mummy!

Mum: (sighs) No, but you're very close. It's ten-

SpongeBob: No, Mummy, look! (points to the clock) It's 11 o' clock!

Mum: Oh yes it is! It's time to feed our pet snail Gary.

SpongeBob: How convenient! I've just finished my homework.

Mum: Clever boy! (gets some Snailpo out of the cupboard and gives it to SpongeBob)

SpongeBob: I'll pour one lot of ten in there so he can eat ten snail food-s.

Mum: He'll need more than ten pieces. Why not more, like (pause) twenty?

SpongeBob: That's two lots of ten. (giggles as he pours too much Snailpo into Gary's bowl and it overflows)

Mum: I, er, think that's enough, SpongeBob. (sighs and SpongeBob stops)

SpongeBob: OK, mummy. Gary! Come and get your snail food-s! (pause) Gary?

Narrator: Gary isn't coming to eat his lunch.

Mum: He is a snail and snails are very slow. Maybe it will just take a while for him to get here. (screen fades to black but quickly fades back)

Narrator: It has been twenty minutes and Gary still hasn't come to eat his lunch.

SpongeBob: Ugh, he's never going to come. (Dad enters the room)

Narrator: Daddy SquarePants has come into the kitchen.

Dad: I'm hungry, is this for me.

SpongeBob: No, Daddy! This is snail food! You can't eat snail food! If you eat snail food you will be sick and have to go to jail!

Mum: I don't that's exactly what happens, SpongeBob, but we get the point. Gary hasn't come to eat his food. Have you seen him?

Dad: I haven't seen him. I've been too busy watching my important TV shows.

Mum: You haven't been watching the one where they do that thing again, have you?

Dad: (goes red) Uh...

Mum: Right then, let's go look for Gary. (we see them looking for him all over the house, cut to a new place as SpongeBob says his next line)

SpongeBob: Is he in the bathtub? (looks) Oh. Is he under the sofa? (looks) Oh. Is he in the toilet? (looks) Oh. Is he in the living room? (looks) Oh. Is he in Mummy's secret- (Mum stops him before he looks in there)

Mum: (goes red) I don't think he's in there. Maybe he's outside. (they go into the garden and find him up a tree) Oh, he's in the-

SpongeBob: (pointing) There he is! There he is! I saw him first! (Dad brings the food bowl outside)

Narrator: Gary is stuck up a tree.

Dad: Come on, Gary. Come down and eat your delicious Snailpo branded snail food.

Gary: Meow.

SpongeBob: He's saying 'Yuck! I don't want to eat your stupid food!'.

Mum: Come on, Gary! Be a good snail and come down.

Gary: Meow.

SpongeBob: I think he likes it up in the tree.

Dad: No, SpongeBob. He's stuck.

SpongeBob: Oh.

Narrator: Gary really is stuck up the tree.

Mum: How will we get him down?

Dad: Leave it to me. I'm an expert at climbing trees. I won a trophy.

Mum: You won a trophy for getting stuck up a tree. Besides, you might be worse at it now.

Dad: Nah, I'm in perfect shape.

SpongeBob: You are a bit fat, Daddy.

Mum: SpongeBob! Don't ever say that to your daddy ever again!

SpongeBob: Sorry, Mummy.

Dad: This tree is easy to climb, anyway. It only has five branches.

SpongeBob: That's three plus two! (Dad climbs the tree only to get stuck up there too)

Dad: Oh. Maybe you were right. I'm stuck.

Gary: Meow.

Narrator: Now Daddy SquarePants is stuck up the tree too.

SpongeBob: How will we get them down now?

Mum: We'll call the fire brigade.

SpongeBob: But there's no fire!

Mum: I'm sure they won't mind getting our pets out of the tree.

Dad: Hey! (Mum calls the fire station)

Narrator: Mummy SquarePants has called the fire brigade. She talks to Cecilia the firefighter.

Cecilia: (on phone) Fire Station! Where's the fire? Where's the fire?

Mum: Uh, we have a snail and my husband up a tree.

SpongeBob: They're stuck and are going to live there forever.

Cecilia: What? We get more snails up trees than fires nowadays!

Mum: Sorry, Cecilia. Come to 123 Starfish Ave- Oh, she's hung up. (cut to Cecilia in her firetruck heading towards the house)

THE REST WAS NEVER COMPLETED