'Cuz We're Movin' on Up

'Cuz We're Movin' on Up is the second episode of the first season of Better Days, and the 2nd overall.

Plot
After a seaquake destroys the Bikini Bottom retirement home, Mr. Shicowa, Mr. Krabs, Adam and the rest of the retirees are transferred to the Kelp City Retirement Complex.

Transcript
(Mr. Krabs is taking a nap, when suddenly a rumble occurs.)

Mr. Krabs: What’s happenin’?

(The rumble turns into a seaquake.)

Mr. Krabs: It’s a seaquake!

He runs into Mr. Shicowa’s room to tell him the news.

Mr. Shicowa: I heard… erm, felt.

Mr. Krabs: It’s a seaquake!

Mr. Shicowa: We should warn the others.

(We hear many others scream.)

Mr. Krabs: Or not.

(Betty runs out of her room and towards the lobby.)

Betty: Quick, everyone, we need to get outta here!

(Everyone enters the lobby.)

Mr. Krabs: I hope nothing bad happens to us.

Adam: Me neither.

Mr. Shicowa: What if the retirement home gets destroyed?

Mr. Krabs: Nah, that won’t happen. Seaquakes can’t do that.

Mr. Richards: All right, everyone. Let’s get outta here before one of us gets killed by a lazy writer.

Eustace: Eh, what?

(They all exit the retirement home. Soon after everyone is out, the building topples down.)

Mr. Richards: No! I thought seaquakes couldn’t do that.

Mr. Shicowa: Apparently they can.

Mr. Richards: Alright, since this retirement home is destroyed, we all have to transfer to the one in New Kelp City: The Kelp City Retirement Complex.

(The next day, everyone moves into the new retirement home. Everyone takes a look around.)

Mr. Krabs: It looks so much better than that smelly old one!

Mr. Shicowa: Yeah, and this one smells so much better.

Betty: They have one a’ those soda dispensin’ machines!

Eustace: They have a place to put me false teeth!

Mr. Krabs: This place is great already!

Dave: Darn tootin’ it is! This place is like heaven… except it’s not.

Mr. Shicowa: I wonder what our rooms look like.

(The retirees enter their new rooms, and they talk to each other through the walls.)

Mr. Krabs: Wow! A 4K TV?

Mr. Shicowa: A smart fridge?

Betty: A flyin’ machine?

Dave: No, Betty, that’s the fan.

Betty: Oh.

Mr. Krabs: This place is way better than that smelly old one in Bikini Bottom.

Mr. Shicowa: Agreed.

(The next day, the retirees go to the lunch room for breakfast.)

Lunch Lady #1: Today we’re having pancakes with a crap ton of maple syrup and butter.

Mr. Krabs: Holy frick! Yum!

Walter: Let’s dig in! As soon as I take a dump.

(Walter’s friends groan. After breakfast, Mr. Krabs goes to watch some TV.)

Mr. Krabs: Look at all those pixels! There’s like a million of ‘em. Literally! This is absolute luxury.

(He hears a knock on his door)

Mr. Krabs: Who is it?

Mr. Shicowa: Mark.

Mr. Krabs: Come in.

(Mr. Shicowa enters his room)

Mr. Shicowa: You gotta help me, Eugene. This one person keeps sticking their… their… I can’t say it.

Mr. Krabs: I know what you’re saying. And I’m gonna help you.

(Mr. Krabs exits the room and goes into Betty’s)

Betty: What’re you doin’ in here, Eugene?

Mr. Krabs: Did you do any bad things to Mark?

Betty: I never did any bad things to Mark, I swear.

Mr. Krabs: Well, it isn’t you. So who is it?

(Frank enters the room)

Frank: What’s goin’ on here?

Mr. Krabs: Someone in this building harassed Mark. Was it you? (Points claw at Frank)

Frank: No need to get all aggressive, Eugene. It wasn’t me. It was this new lady. She’s pink.

Mr. Krabs: That means…

Frank: It was Muriel!

Mr. Krabs: That jerk! I’ll claw her ‘till she passes out.

Frank: I have a better idea.

(It cuts to Muriel waking up to being inside a soda machine)

Muriel: Let me out! Let me oouutttt!

Frank: Nope. Never.

Mr. Krabs: (laughs) No way.

Mr. Shicowa: I knew you could help me out.

Mr. Krabs: Any time, Mark. Any time.

Muriel: I’ll call the damn cops on ya if ya don’t let me out right now! (Falls asleep, snoring)

(the end)

Appearances

 * Eugene Krabs
 * Mark Shicowa
 * Mr. Richards
 * Betty Grayson
 * Adam Fishman (debut)
 * Eustace
 * Walter
 * Dave
 * Frank
 * Muriel (debut)
 * Lunch Lady #1

Trivia

 * When Mr. Richards says "All right, everyone. Let’s get outta here before one of us gets killed by a lazy writer." The original idea to kill off Eustace in this episode was referenced.
 * The ratings for the original airing of this episode were 9.54 million viewers.