When Commitments Conflict

When Commitments Conflict is the 11th episode of Basket Sponge. It aired on January 18, 2015.

Plot
When the Cleveland Calaviers basketball season begins, LeBron knows he must go back home to Cleveland. But he must make a tough decision: Stay with the Bikini Bottom Bulldogs, or return to the place he calls home. Will he abandon his team?

Story
Above water, in the land of Cleveland, the Calaviers basketball season is about to begin.

Calaviers Coach: Team, our season begins shortly. I understand the last couple months have been hard, with LeBron James going missing. Let's have a moment of silence for him and his family, as they struggle through this heartbreaking time of tragedy and despair.

Random Player: The police still haven't been able to find him?

Calaviers Coach: (throws a chair at him) I said a moment of silence!!! And no, he's believed to be dead.

[In Bikini Bottom]

LeBron is at a party SpongeBob has thrown at his house. There is a DJ, people are dancing, getting wild, getting drunk...

LeBron: Yahooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Patrick: (drinks an entire can of Whipped Cream)

Krabs: (throws money into the air, and makes snow angels in the money) Woo-hoo! Money angels!

Plankton: Krabs!! Get off me! You're CRUSHING me!!

Squidward: (grabs Sandy) Sandy, I have so many things to tell you.

Sandy: Don't say a word. Let your mouth speak for you.

Squidward: Wait...that didn't make any sense!

Sandy: Use your mouth for something ELSE! You know exactly what I mean....

The two of them begin violently making out.

Larry: Squidward! Did you invite our ex-teammate to SpongeBob's party?

Squidward: Heh-heh....no?

Larry: Good...because if I EVER SAW THAT DOWNRIGHT DIRTY PIECE OF-

Squidward sprays Larry in the face with whipped cream.

Larry: AH!!!!! MY EYES!!!!!!

LeBron: (notices them) Squidward, is that a Toon Tomahawks player?

Squidward: Ummm, ....no?

LeBron: You do realize I HATE THE TOMAHAW-

Squidward sprays LeBron in the face with whipped cream.

LeBron: (tastes it) This is whipped cream, Squid Boy. Is that all you got?

Squidward: (looks at Sandy) Go hide in the toilet.

Sandy: (sigh) Whatever.

Sandy opens the bathroom door, and Mrs. Puff is on the toilet.

Mrs. Puff: Nothing to see here, move along.

Sandy: (shuts the door) Things have just gotten weird in the pineapple.

Gary: Moowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!! (licks Luis)

Luis: (sitting on the couch, texting his friends)

SpongeBob: LUIS! It's a party! Loosen up and have some fun!

Luis: I am having fun. I just like the couch.

Patrick: (sitting on LeBron) You should try THIS couch!

LeBron: (under his breath) I'm a COACH, Patrick.

SpongeBob: (puts a rose in his mouth) Care to dance, Luis? (in French accent)

Luis: Let me think about it...no.

SpongeBob: Eh, I'll ask Mr. Krabs!

Krabs and Mrs. Puff are now both sitting on the toilet with the door open, making out.

SpongeBob: Eh.....maybe not. He seems a bit occupied.

Krabs: (awkwardly closes the door)

SpongeBob: (jumps up on the table) Everyone, I'd like to make a toast to my awesome coach, LeBron James!

Everyone claps.

Patrick: TOAST??? WHERE??? I WANT SOME TOAST!!!! (eats Plankton)

Plankton: (in Patrick's stomach) Ewwww, why is there a BRA in here???

Patrick: That was mine. I got kinda thirsty.

Plankton: (snuggles up in the bra) There's too much acid in here! I have to survive in a BRA! Thanks a lot, Patrick!

Patrick: You're welcome.

SpongeBob: (clings a spoon on his glass cup) Everyone, a toast to the Bikini Bottom Bulldogs! In celebration of winning 3 games in a row!!!

Everyone claps.

LeBron: (stands up) I just wanna let everyone here tonight know that I love my team, support my team, and would never do anything to hurt my team-

[The scene cuts to LeBron screaming at his team after they lost the next day's game]

LeBron: Are you kidding me??!!! What the hell???!!! We played the worst team in the entire LEAGUE! The Daisy Town Dandelions! They're horrible!!! HOW THE HELL DID YOU GUYS LOSE OUT THERE!!!!??????

SpongeBob: (looks like a zombie) That party last night....was...sooo....late

Patrick: (falls on the ground and goes to sleep)

Luis: I don't know how you expected us to play good after a party so late.

LeBron: I told all of you to get a good night sleep or we'd lose!

Larry: Well, we didn't go to sleep.

Squidward: And we lost.

LeBron: Come on! I just gave a speech at the party about how great you guys are! And now you let me down!

SpongeBob: Sorry...

Krabs: We'll do better next time!

LeBron: There IS no "we'll do better next time!" You ALWAYS say that! I train you, coach you, support you, and you're STILL a bunch of FAILURES!!! GET OUT OF MY SIGHT!!!

LeBron kicks the door, and throws a chair across the gym.

LeBron: Now get home, and get some freakin' SLEEP!

The team hung their heads low, and slowly sulked over to the door.

Whole Team: Yes, sir.

The door shuts.

LeBron: .....damn it, I was too hard on them again! They probably hate me now! Grrrrrrrrrrrr!!!! (rips down a curtain, and punches the window)

He begins breathing heavily, with fury in his eyes.

LeBron: What's coming over me? I'm turning into a pyscho. (pulls a picture out of his pocket, and begins crying)

It is a picture of him and his kids outside playing, and his wife watching them, smiling.

LeBron: (tears gushing down his face) I can't do it anymore! (SNIFF) I gotta get home and see my family! (SNIFF, wipes his tears) Why am I living in some magical bikini fish land? I gotta get home to reality. I can't live with these fish people anymore...I gotta escape this mess!

LeBron looks down at the floor.

LeBron: Hey, Luis dropped his phone. (picks it up) That's weird, he was reading a news headline on the Internet.

The headline reads:

'''LeBron James Missing For 4 Months. Wife And Kids Devastated. Cleveland Calaviers Left Hopeless. The World Weeps.'''

LeBron: (puts the phone down) ....I know exactly what I need to do.

[At the Bikini Bottom Airport]

LeBron: (enters) Hey, lady, listen, I need a flight to Cleveland.

Fat Lady: LeBron James! You're the sexy coach of the Bikini Bottom Bulldogs!

LeBron: Yes, yes, haha it's me. I'm also an NBA star, you know that, right?

Fat Lady: Never heard of the NBA, I only know the POBA.

LeBron: Of course you don't. Wait, why am I talking to a fish lady? I hate fish!

Fat Lady: You're in the ocean, Sir.

LeBron: Yes and I hate it!!! I'm going home to reality! Now give me plane tickets to Cleveland!

Fat Lady: Never heard of this "Cleve Land." We only have 1 flight for all above-water locations.

LeBron: I'll take it! Whatever it is, I'll take it!

[Scene cuts to LeBron standing on the moon].

LeBron: Really? The only flight that can take me out of the ocean, takes me to the MOON?!!

Alien: (physically resembling E.T.) Hello, Earthling. You have become the new coach of our soccer team!

LeBron: (punches alien in the face) No! Shut up!!!

Alien: But we need a coach for our alien soccer team!

LeBron: I'm done coaching silly unrealistic teams!

Bugs Bunny: (munches a carrot) Eh, doc, ain't you seen Space Jam? Michael Jordan actually led us to victory!

LeBron: Yeah, but he's Michael Jordan. He can do anything! He's like, like.....well...Bugs Bunny.

Bugs Bunny: Exactly, doc. (munches carrot) What's troubling you, anyways?

LeBron: Do you know SpongeBob SquarePants?

Bugs Bunny: Yeah, doc, great friend of mine. Your point?

LeBron: I went to his hometown, Bikini Bottom, and now I'm the coach of the Bulldogs.

Bugs Bunny: Oh, they're a great team!

LeBron: Not the same Bulldogs as last season. They all quit. They've been replaced by a bunch of horrible, un-athletic, in-experienced players.

Bugs Bunny: Oh. And you came to the moon to escape?

LeBron: Haha, well not intentionally.

Bugs Bunny: I did.

LeBron: What are you escapin'?

Bugs Bunny: Years after Looney Tunes ended, Cartoon Network created this horrible new series called The Looney Tunes Show, with new actors and everything. This new guy looks nothing like me! It makes me vomit. So I'm up here, and I won't come down until Warner Bros. takes the show off the air.

LeBron: Wow. Hollywood.

Bugs Bunny: Tell me about it! But listen, if you made a commitment to the Bulldogs, no matter how terrible they are, you need to stick with 'em. I know they may get on your nerves, but deep down, you really love 'em.

LeBron: That's true. (looks at his picture of him and his kids) But I love my family more. I miss playing for the Caviliers. Coaching underwater ball isn't my thing. Plus, the whole world thinks I'm dead. My poor wife thinks she's a widow with two fatherless kids. (tear rolls down his cheek)

Bugs Bunny: Well, tell ya what, doc. I'll go back down to Earth, and tell them you're okay.

LeBron: But they'll never believe me! About the whole underwater city thing!

Bugs Bunny: I'll just tell them your a little busy, but you'll be back. As of now, LeBronny Boy, you need to get back to Bikini Bottom and get things straight with your team!

LeBron: You're right, Bugs Bunny! This was an odd and random pep talk...but how do I get back to Bikini Bottom? There's no plane up here!

Bugs Bunny: One, sec, doc. (picks up LeBron, spins around, and flings him off the moon, straight into the blue ocean of Earth)

886.4 billion lightyears later

SpongeBob: (looks at his watch) Coach should be here! Practice started 5 minutes ago!

Squidward: He was really pissed yesterday.

Larry: He's always pissed.

SpongeBob: We shouldn't have let him down. We could have played a little better in that game.

Krabs: Maybe we've let him down for GOOD!

Patrick: What do you mean?

Krabs: Maybe he packed his bags....and headed back for Cleveland.

Luis: I wouldn't be surprised. It looks like he read my phone yesterday. He read the Internet news article about his strange disappearance. I'm sure he felt conflicted, but decided to leave.

SpongeBob: So this is it? You really think he decided to go home?

Plankton: Well think about it! What would you do if you accidentally got transported to some strange other dimension! Wouldn't you go home, rather than sticking around and coaching basketball?

Larry: He has a point. LeBron really should've gone home to his family sooner.

SpongeBob: (sigh) Maybe you're right. But I sure am gonna miss him!

LeBron crashes through the ceiling at lightning speed, and lands on Patrick.

Patrick: Ouuuchhh!!! Now the COUCH is sitting on ME!!!

SpongeBob: Coach LeBron!!! You're here!!!

LeBron: I....see....stars.... (flops on the ground)

Plankton: I think he took quite a fall.

LeBron: (stands up) Bugs Bunny threw me all the way down here from the moon.

Squidward: (whispering) He's crazy...

LeBron: Okay, well listen up, everybody. I understand I haven't been the greatest coach lately. I've lost my temper, expected great things from you guys, and have treated you unfairly. The truth is, you guys drive me insane. But I love each of you. And I promised you all that I would coach you for the season. And that's exactly what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna stick to my word!

SpongeBob: But what about your home! Your wife and kids! Your Cleveland team!

LeBron: Bugs Bunny will let them know I'm okay.

Squidward: You really have gone crazy....

LeBron: Haha, okay. Group hug, everybody.

The entire team came together for a big group hug.

LeBron: I'm not going anywhere. You guys are my passion! ....wait, where's Luis?

Larry: Heh-heh.....I might have mailed him to Cleveland.

LeBron: You can MAIL things to Cleveland from here?

Larry: Yup. I tied him up, put him in a box, and mailed him off. He's gonna join the Calaviers, and take your spot! Now we'll never see him again! Never, ever, EVER! (smiles)

LeBron: What?! He was okay with that?

Larry: Nah. I just shoved him in the box. See, everybody wins! You get to stay with us, and the Cleveland Calaviers get someone to take your spot!

LeBron: But Luis was our best player! He was our only hope of winning the tournament! Why would you mail him away?

Larry: Because he was better than me. Anyone who's better than me, I can't accept.

LeBron: (facepalm) Is it too late to mail myself to Cleveland?