Army Of Ghosts

Army Of Ghosts is the 22nd episode of Basket Sponge. It is also the Season 2 premiere.

Plot
Ash is thrown off the Tomahawks because Adam wants to change the team around. Frustrated, Ash (in a maybe disclosed drunken rage) starts his own team to battle his old mentor and his undisclosed friend to end it all.

Transcript
Narrator: Previously on AMC's The Walking Dead.

LeBron: Final minute. The score is 68 - 68. One more score and we are done. But if they get the one more score, we're dead. SpongeBob! Have the ball!

SpongeBob: But LeBron! You know what happens?

LeBron: Please!

SpongeBob: (SpongeBob is running towards the Tomahwawks goal, with only 20 seconds left. He dribbles it but he bounces it too hard and it flies out of his hands as it goes nearly into the hoop but misses it and goes on the floor as the game has ended.)

Announcer: And that is a tie for The Bikini Bottom Bulldogs and The Toon Tomahawks.

Adam: So, the results are 67 for us and 68 for you. Seems like a good ending.

(The Bulldogs all cheer as they have won the tournament, the matches are done for and that seems to be it for them, the Tomahawks sigh in shame but clap for the Bulldogs. The Tomahawks leave the hall, Adam carrying Venice like they married. Ash gets arrested.)

LeBron: I present a promotion for a certain person who helped us win the Tournament yesterday. A certain SpongeBob SquarePants has been promoted to Assistant Coach.

SpongeBob: Thank you, LeBron.

(They then all gather round for a selfie of all of them around LeBron.)

[Timecard: 1 month, 2 days later.]

[Above Bikini Bottom in a helicopter - 18:27]

Soldier: Sigma-Alpha-2 heading due south over the city. Pilot: We're en route, everything's ago.

Control Tower General: This is control tower. We have you on radar. Report cargo status of captured merman aboard, over! Pilot: That's a 10-4. Cargo secured and... What?!

Control Tower Associate: Didn't copy that, over!

Pilot: The merman's gone, he's taken out nearly everyone aboard and...

Control Tower General: What's wrong? Come in, over!

Pilot: What in the world!?

[Ash busts out of the helicopter and grabs onto it]

Pilot: Freeze! What do you think you're doing!?

Ash: Talk about crappy flights... I'm outta here before I go to hell! [Ash jumps off the helicopter and opens his parachute to drop down on his old apartment, Adam, LeBron and Ash's sister are sitting down in chairs.]

Adam: What is your budget? You must have some cash.

Ash: This is my old apartment, I'm homeless.

Adam: Wow, homeless. That is so true about people. But not me.

Venice: Stop being such a douche, Adam. It's not your time to be a dick.

LeBron: I have no players like this, Adam and I have memories of bad and sloppy games from really BAD players.

Ash: Why the hell are we all here for?

LeBron: Ever since the beginning of your partnership with...

Venice: Sexy Adam? Lucky Adam? Money Adam?

Adam: Adam.

Venice: Damn. I thought you thought he was...

Adam & LeBron: Sexy?

Ash: I get it already. Stop saying the word 'sexy' or 'sex' and can you hurry this meeting up? I've got a Subway Sandwich coming in 10 minutes.

Adam: You're off the team... for a break.

Ash: What the actual...

Adam: I'll see ya.

Ash: THREE BLOODY...

LeBron: You just got ordered by your coach!

[He leaves with Venice and LeBron, Adam can see the Subway van from the end of the street. He then gets an idea with the van.]

Adam: Hmm... I can use that van for a really cool thing.

[5 minutes later... The Subway van has arrived and Adam in a leather jacket is standing outside Ash's house.]

Subway Fish: Special delivery for Ash Kuropato.

Adam: Can I take that, sir?

Subway Fish: Sure. Take it, I don't want it anymore.

Adam: Cheers. Sucker...

[Adam steals all but one of the Subway sandwiches of the three that Ash was supposed to eat, Ash gets the one Subway sandwich Adam hasn't stolen.]

Ash: Where is my bloody sandwich? That's it. Subway ain't going to be eating fresh, they will be eating their flesh.

[He goes on his laptop and starts a hate mail to Subway.]

70's Ghost: Dude, like why don't you care about us anymore? That stains, mate.

Ash: Okay, this basketball thing is the thing that is stainin' you, mate. I also don't think of you scrubs a lot of the time. But now this basketball thing is out of my leauge until *checks his watch* June to July-ish.

Intellegent Ghost: Why don't you just make a team of us? The Ghosts of the team like the ghost of the main member.

Ash: I think you must be right, with his damn stupid nickname of 'The Ghost', actually why is his nickname of 'The Ghost'?

[Adam appears on Skype on Ash's computer.]

Adam: That is because I killed a ghost,

Ash: It's impossible.

Adam Then you haven't watched GhostBusters.

Ash: That's fictional.

Adam: Such a person...

[Adam disappears off Skype.]

Ash: With that aside, it's time I made something to call my own.

Scottish Ghost: And what would that be?

Ash: A army... An Army Of Ghosts.

Scottish Ghost: Oh damn it.

[The next Tuesday, everyone is sitting in cinema seats.]

Adam: So before we practice for the next season, any questions.

Fat Jesse: Aye, where is that emo kid?

Adam: Who is the emo kid?

Fat Jesse: The emo kid that joined in the storm.

Adam: Venice?

Venice: Erm... I haven't seen Ash since last Tuesday.

Adam: I was on Skype like about 20 minutes after we finished talking to him.

[The wall next to them explodes with some people flying.]

Adam: Who the (blows) did the blow up kind of thing.

Ash: Me.

Adam: Captain Jack Harkness?

Ash: Who the hell are you talking about?

Adam: So why the hell are you bursting through my wall?

Ash: To give my resignation to you guys.

Adam: By bursting through my wall?

[Just then, the Bulldogs throw down Adam's CD collection onto his band equipment. Adam walks to the band equipment where he looks up, where he sees the Bulldogs.]

Adam: Never mind...

[He shoots upwards to make the glass fall, some of the glass and players of the Bulldogs fall onto mats laid out.]

Adam: So, we have Subway emo kid here lining up his resignation? Thank god, Jamie came over...

Lebron: Jamie? It's either LeBron, Coach L or James.

Adam: Just go with it. It's a failed joke...

Ash: I do have a team all done.

Adam: Do you have to interrupt me? Okay, then what's it called?

Ash: The Ghastly Operators.

Adam [sighs]: Okay, that is original. Like no one thought of that pun before. So, we have The Ghastly Operators versus The Toon Tomahawks versus The Bikini Bottom Bulldogs. And one of you teams will fix my wall. I'm looking at you, Subway Boy.

Ash: This city needs to burn before it can be reborn.

Adam & Lebron: What are you smoking?

Ash: I'm 15. I can't smoke yet.

Adam: Thank god I can but come on, let's get ready for a trio battle.

Ash: A trio battle, don't you mean...

[Venice throws a chair at Ash.]

Venice: Shut up, Ass.

Ash: You missed.

[The pre-battle starts with a montage of all the teams, when the background music cracks halfway through.]

Lebron, Adam + Ash: What the hell happened to the music?

Patrick: Oh sorry. [He takes his fin off and the music starts back up again as the montage ends with the start of Limp Bizkit - Take A Look Around]

Lebron: Damn.

Adam: I thought Limp Bizkit when out in the very early 2000's.

Ash: I actually like this song.

Venice: Shut up, Ass Ketchup.

Ash: Good, you are learning.

Venice: Ash, only you can hear me.

Ash: Why does that matter?

[The Battle Begins: At first LeBron's team has the ball at first, Ash's gets it out of their control and Adam's team gets nothing out of it. It goes around dribbling; LeBron's hit it first ending up with a goal, then Ash's team. The score is eventually after many tries and success. 19 for LeBron, Ash with 13 and Adam with 7. After the battle. Lebron is scarred, Adam is spitting blood and Ash is laughing like Mephiles in Sonic The Hedgehog (2006 video game).]

Adam: Still, what are you laughing at?

Ash: Because this is the first of many battles, commander. But what should I do?

Lebron: Well first kid, don't take this whole thing seriously. You hate Adam and I do, but you don't have to fight us like a pack of wolves hunting down the prey. Do you know where you lie?

Ash: In my penis?

Lebron: No! What is it with everybody and penises?

Ash: I thought that sentence was lovely, but I still want to battle you!

Lebron: Okay, that's it. ADAM! Take aim!

Adam: Thank you, Lebron. I'll sort this out.

[He aims the gun at Ash's head and then changes to his leg. The bullet heads for the leg.]

Ash: Son of a...!

Adam: Groovy!

Lebron: Now you are going to wait.

Ash: I DID MY WAITING!

Lebron: What?

Ash: Twelve years of it!

Adam: You are 15.

Ash: Oh please shut up.

Venice: And I don't care about all this TV violence.

Patrick: Are we on Big Brother?

[Post Credits scene - Auditions room. LeBron and Adam are taking auditions for new members to replace Ash from the Toon Tomahawks and Sandy's place on the Bikini Bottom Bulldogs]

Lebron: So, how's that date with Venice?

Adam: Second date now, it went so good at the first one!

Lebron: Ready to give this up?

Adam: We have two more people and then we close up. Right, we have next... Lexi Flynn.

[The door opens as Lexi comes through, she is a mermaid; just like Adam; Ash and Venice.]

Lexi: I've got a taxi waiting outside, can we hurry this up?

Adam: Perhaps. What do you say, LeBron about her?

Lebron: You're on my team, sweatcheeks!

Adam: Why?

Lebron: Not to be sexist. You have three girls on your team and I have one. Which means you get... Sandals!

Adam: Oh crumbs.

Sandals: Hey man, that's not cool.