Endgame

<< Evicted! Season One

Transcript
(Episode opens around the table)

SpongeBob: So this final vote was a 3 - 1.

Fluffward: Oh boy.

Maja: This is nerve-wracking.

SpongeBob: The person joining me in the finale is… Fluffward.

Fluffward: HALLELUJAH!

Voice: Maja, you are the final jury member.

Maja: Thanks guys, thanks.

(Maja walks out onto the stage)

Voice: Okay so now you two gotta get dressed up.

Fluffward: Where are the suits?

Voice: Over there in the suit room.

SpongeBob: I’m gonna get a pink suit!

Voice: Well I got pink suits for SpongeBob and white suits for Fluffward.

SpongeBob: Makes sense.

(SpongeBob and Fluffward get ready)

SpongeBob: Wow! I look snazzy!

Fluffward: I wonder who they’re gonna choose.

SpongeBob: Me, duh.

Voice: Ok, both of you please walk out onto the stage.

(SpongeBob and Fluffward walks out onto the stage)

Voice: We now welcome back everybody who was evicted before.

(All the formerly evicted contestants come out and sit in chairs which are in two rows of seven)

Voice: SpongeBob and Fluffward, you now have a chance to explain to the jury why you think you should win.

SpongeBob: Well guys, when you think about it I won a few challenges. And I feel that voting me would benefit everyone!

Fluffward: Wait what’s the prize?

SpongeBob: Yeah!

Voice: A billion dollars.

Fluffward: Jury, ten bucks to everyone who votes me.

Mike: Money you say? I can use that to help build the wall!

Joe: Oh shut up.

Voice: Ok time’s up, let’s get to voting.

(Camera goes black and then comes back up as disco music begins to play)

Voice: Mike, you’re first.

(Mike casts his vote)

Voice: Zeus, you’re next.

(Zeus casts his vote)

Voice: Grandma SquarePants, you’re next.

(Grandma SquarePants casts her vote)

Voice: Polar, you’re next.

(Polar casts her vote)

Voice: Bubble Bass, you’re next.

(Bubble Bass casts his vote)

Voice: Sandy, you’re next.

(Sandy casts her vote)

Sandy: I hope I chose right.

Voice: Crazy, you’re next.

(Crazy casts his vote)

CrazySponge: o

Voice: Patrick, you’re next.

(Patrick casts his vote)

Voice: Mama Krabs, you’re next.

(Mama Krabs casts her vote)

Voice: Squidina, you’re next.

(Squidina casts her vote)

Voice: LightBob, you’re next.

LightBob: Can I vote myself?

Voice: No.

LightBob: I HATE ALL OF YOU.

(LightBob casts his vote)

Voice: Squidward, you’re next.

(Squidward casts his vote)

Voice: Joe, you’re next.

(Joe casts his vote)

Voice: Maja, you’re last.

(Maja casts her vote)

Maja: Good luck boys!

Voice: Okay all votes have been cast.

SpongeBob: I’m scared.

Voice: It is now time to read the votes.

(Robot appears wearing a tuxedo)

Robot: Okay okay, the first vote is for Fluffward. Second vote, SpongeBob. Third vote, SpongeBob. Fourth vote, Fluffward. Fifth vote, SpongeBob. Sixth vote, Fluffward. Seventh vote, SpongeBob. Eighth vote, Fluffward. I think vote, Fluffward. Tenth vote, SpongeBob. Eleventh vote, SpongeBob. Twelfth vote, Fluffward.

(Filler for reveal)

(Filler for reveal)

(Filler for reveal)

Robot: The next two votes go to the person who won. Fifteenth and sixteenth votes go to…

(Filler for reveal)

(Filler for reveal)

(Filler for reveal)

Robot: AND THE WINNER IS!

(Filler for reveal)

(Filler for reveal)

(Filler for reveal)

Robot: SPONGEBOB!

Mike: GODDAMMIT I NEEDED THE MONEY!

SpongeBob: Thank you all so so so much! I can’t believe you guys chose me!

Fluffward: Well. Time to make a bootleg iPad.

Voice: Congrats to SpongeBob, and thank you guys for a great season. I would like to thank the viewers first, for making the experience possible. Then I’d like to thank the contestants, because they were fun to be around. I’d like to thank Robot, since he helped a lot. I’d like to thank the crew, for setting up these ridiculous challenges. I’d like to thank the producers and editors, for being awesome. I’d like to thank my parents, for inspiring me to do this. I’d like to thank my veterinarian, for keeping my dog in good health. And finally I’d like to thank that Asian guy I bumped into on the streets of Chicago, because even though he stabbed me and I had to go into surgery, he made me realize just how fragile life is.

SpongeBob: Wait what? Who are you?

Voice: I’m only gonna say that I am African-American.

Fluffward: Wait you have a godlike voice and interesting sense of humor.

Maja: Hey.

Zeus: Do you guys know who it is?

Mama Krabs: I know who you are.

SpongeBob: MORGAN FREEMAN?!

Voice: Yes. Nah jk.

(A light appears on the stage to give SpongeBob his prize; the light dies down to reveal EB)

Everyone: EB?!

EB: YES IT IS I. I HAVE BEEN THE HOST THIS WHOLE TIME! TAKE THE BILLION SPONGEBOB!

SpongeBob: YAY!

EB: Now remember everyone, I will be appearing as myself for host next season. Go vote for people to be in season two. And thanks for an amazing first season!

SpongeBob: I AM CHAMPION!