Scrimmage Night

Scrimmage Night is the third episode of the fourth season of Basket Sponge. This episode is the 63rd episode overall.

Plot
To get hyped for the new season, the team goes out to get ready. But when they're challenged by a new team on the block, they've got to get on their A game.

Story
Kobe: Alright guys, we’ve got to bounce back this time, now I know you guys hadn’t played or had a coach since 2016, but we have to move on, now, it’s pretty much the same Bikini Bottom Bulldogs, just with a new coach. Tell you what, how about we go to Pizza Hut and get you all a pizza to get some hype on for the season.

SpongeBob: I’m in.

Patrick: Pizza? YES! (ball pops in his hands)

Kobe: Looks like we’ll need to get a new ball while we’re at it… [cuts to an out shot of Pizza Hut, than an inside shot]

Kobe: Now, what kind--

Patrick: Couch LeBron Flavor with Pineapples.

Kobe: Patrick, you blasted buffoon. Have you ever eaten LeBron?

Patrick: Uh…

Squidward: What the hell, Patrick?!

Kobe: We’ve got to mail you back to Cleveland.

Patrick: Alright, I could only eat about 3 of them cause they’re really big.

Plankton: Unlike your balls.

Patrick: I popped them earlier, don’t you remember?

Plankton: (shakes his head) You dunce.

Kobe: Anyway, what are you guys ordering?

Sandy: Make my pizza with barbeque.

Squidward: Mine, with truffles.

Kobe: That’ll cost you extra.

Squidward: Wait, why the hell is Sandy here?

Sandy: I’m here to scout you all so we can crush you in the first round.

Kobe: Goddamn, someone get her out of here.

Patrick: (sits on Sandy) You’ll be my new couch.

Kobe: What the hell am I watching right now.

Sandy: MMMMPHHHFF…. (runs out of the restaurant)

Narrator: 2 hours later…

Patrick: Oh I’m so stuffed...

SpongeBob: Are you okay Patrick?

Kobe: This is why you shouldn’t eat this much!

SpongeBob: Wait, what was on that pizza?

Adam: Just Mushrooms, Pepperoni, Sausage, Spam-

SpongeBob: Spam?! Patrick’s allergic to spam!

Squidward: Wait, why the hell is Adam here?

Adam: I’m here to spy on you so we can eliminate you immediately.

Patrick: (expodes)

Kobe: Uh…

Mr. Krabs: Shouldn’t we practice or something?

SpongeBob: We should get Patrick to the hospital, but he’s exploded already.

Patrick: (at the back of SpongeBob) I’m here.

SpongeBob: AH!

Patrick: We starfish have limbs that grow new bodies.

Squidward: Oh, we should get some practice at the Golden Arena.

Kobe: Don’t you remember what happened last time I coached you?

SpongeBob: We barely trained at all.

Kobe: And?

SpongeBob: We were undefeated.

Kobe: But, the basketball gods aren’t with us right now so let’s practice.

[Cuts to scene at the Golden Arena]

Kobe: Okay, let’s get some drills on. Snail, you hype up the squad.

Gary: Meow.

SpongeBob: (shoots a three-pointer but misses) Dang it.

Kobe: It’s in the flick of the wrist. (shoots a three) Swish.

SpongeBob: Woah, that’s really--- An unknown group of players enter the arena.

Kurry Ervin: Stoph, LiBren.

Stoph Carry: Yes sir.

LiBren Jomes: Yo, we’re here to teach you dicks how to play ball. The team in over in Daisytown told us you guys were the best. We’re here to find out who’ll be the better team this season.

Kobe: Wait a minute.... LiBren? Aren’t you guys like knock-off NBA stars?

Stoph: We’re better. We’re the Cebu Elites.

Kobe: Sure...anyway, we’ll whoop all of your asses any day.

SpongeBob: (whispers) You’re sure, Coach Kobe?

Kobe: Right now.

''Game begins, the Bulldogs get the first possession. SpongeBob passes to Patrick who misses an open jumper. Elites drive to the lane and dunk the ball, no sweat. Squidward then passes the ball to Mr. Krabs, but the ball is stolen for an easy dunk by LiBren Jomes. ''

Narrator: 2 quarters later.

Announcer: Elites lead by the end of the first half, 69-13.

Mr. Krabs: What in Davey Jones’ name happened out there?

Kobe: You guys were pathetic.

SpongeBob: At least we didn’t get blown out like in episode 5, 100 something to 0.

Kobe: At least that was a record breaker. This was just a boring game. Get some scoring on! They’re knock offs, how can you lose to them? You were POBA Champions!

Mr. Krabs: Were.

SpongeBob: Desperate times call for desperate measures. Coach Kobe, shouldn’t we get Larry in the game?

Kobe: Larry? That douchebag? Sure, he’ll probably be your only hope.

Larry: (comes through door) Sorry chumps, I was late doing some cardio. Hell I wasn’t going to join your pizza parade.

Kobe: Larry, we need you to play this game. We’re down by 56. Use the secret method I taught you.

Larry: Gotcha.

''The second half (3rd quarter) begins, the Bulldogs pass the ball to Larry who dominates the Elites and scores 6 straight points for the team. Stoph Carry then gets fouled hard by Larry and is out of the game due to injury. 2 players versus 5, the Bulldogs score 50 points in the next 10 minutes. ''

Kurry: What the hell happened there?

Announcer: End of 3rd quarter, the score is tied at 69.

Kurry: LiBren, we’ve got to bring in the big guns.

LiBren: You’re right. Michael Jordan, come in.

Michael: I’m 53 years old you idiots, I’m too good for you. (walks away)

LiBren: Damn.

Kurry: You were finessed, you pussy.

LiBren: Lol, aren’t you talking about yourself?

Referee: Uh, fourth quarter’s began.

Larry: (dunks the ball) Booh-yah.

LiBren: What the---

Kurry: There’s a game, you blasted buffoon.

SpongeBob: (takes a three and scores) Splash! Nice pass,

Patrick! Patrick: Nice shot!

Narrator: Because of the Elite’s blasted buffoonery, the game ended with the score of 135-69.

Kobe: Good game guys. I liked the added touch of Patrick wiping his butt cheeks on LiBren’s face.

Patrick: My pleasure, I also drank about 1 gallon of their Gatorade.

SpongeBob: Oh, that’s why they were panting the whole time, they had to pause the game for 5 minutes since they both fainted.

Kobe: Anyways, good team effort, good team win. But if you don’t play like that next season, you’re the ones who will get butt wipes from me. Got that?

Larry: I’d rather suck your microscopic dick.

Kobe: Larry, you goddamn dick.

Larry: A handsome dick.

Kobe: How can a dick be handsome?

Larry: I don’t know, but at least it’s bigger than the L you’re holding right now.

Kobe: (mails Larry to Cleveland) Oh wait, wasn’t he our star player-- nevermind. We’ll just get him back by Friday. Anyway, pack up your bags and let’s take some rest for tomorrow’s practice.

Everyone: Bye, Coach!