Fatrick the Rapper

”Fatrick the Rapper” is a Season 2 episode of Life in Bikini Bottom. It is rated TV-14-DLV and C.

Characters

 * Fatrick Star
 * Sheldon D. Bastard
 * Eugene F. Kraps
 * Shitward Testicles
 * SpongeCock SquarePants
 * Ronnie Snickersnee
 * Assy Cheeks

Synopsis
After Shitward hears Fatrick rap, he drops a mixtape and becomes a rapper - until Sheldon disses him.

Plot
The episode begins with SpongeCock and Fatrick in their upstairs bathroom, as SpongeCock is on ‘Watch Fatrick Take a Crap Duty.’

“Fatrick, come on now, you’ve been there for…..um….I lost track of time.” SpongeCock states, and Fatrick comes out with his newspaper.

“Man, that was AMAZING,” he says, “it took a while, too! Now, time to go get some ice cream cake.” Fatrick then walks out towards the kitchen, but SpongeCock stops him by trying to tackle him. Of course, it doesn’t work, but it at least stops him.

“Why, SpongeCock? I haven’t eaten ice cream cake, in like...20 minutes!” Fatrick protests.

“Look, Fatrick, I was chosen to work a night shift at the strip club. I have to leave, and I don’t fricking trust you alone here.”

“Why not? I’m a fatass that will just be on the couch the whole time.”

“Do I need to explain why? [cuts to a little bit of “Fatrick’s Diet!”] Yeah….yeah.”

“Oh, no! Don’t lock me up in the bathroom!”

“I’m not, I’m not. You’re gonna be at Shitward’s house for the night.” SpongeCock says this and continues to drag Fatrick, as he screams.

Our whole universe was in a G and PG state

Then nearly fourteen billion years ago was inappropriate, wait

Fatrick shit a stool, Shitward began to drool

They invented crap that rules

We built a great, great wall (we started cursing)

Shit, titties bursting, unraveling the coercing

''This is Life in Bikini Bottom! PG-13!''

SpongeCock struggles to drag Fatrick throughout the house, and gets tired easily. He soon comes across Fricky, who SpongeCock actually TRUSTS. (probably because he doesn’t clog the toilets or eat the whole fridge). Anyway, SpongeCock tells Fricky “Um...son? I’m dropping off Fatrick and going to work. So...stay here and take care of Gory.” “Alright, dad.” Fricky replies.

We cut to inside of Shitward’s house, where he’s playing Grand Theft Weed V with Eugene Kraps. They’re swerving around and doing random shit in the game, and overall being a badass. “Hold up, time for a drive by.” Shitward says, as he speeds up his lambo and starts shooting someone online with an uzi. The player dies as Shitward exclaims “That was REAL sexy. I straight murked that bitch.” Eugene hears a knock at the door, and a few seconds later, SpongeCock and Fatrick come up. “Aw shit! It’s you guys!” “Look, Shitward, can you please watch Fatrick for a bit while I go to work.” “Am I getting paid? Ya gotta go gets me dat cash, folk.” Shitward questions, and SpongeCock says that he’ll give him $50. “Aight, aight, now scram!” He then puts down his controller and talks to Eugene. “Yo Kraps, all I have to do is play me some GTW, and the time will go by.” Eugene then brings up “Alright...but, Shitward, ready to hear my new single?” “Aight, aight.”

Bitch ass fricker, I pull up with 20 glocks

I’m the only shit that keep the frickin block hot

Bitch you know it’s Kraps, man I screaming “frick the cops”

Young rich bitch, I get the mula, get a lot

“Man, that’s that hood shit,” Shitward laughs, and puts on his new chain. “Time for that collab!” But before they go to write the song, Fatrick interrupts. “Hmm, rapping, ey? I love rap! I use it around my ice cream cake when I’m not eating it! Which is rare, by the way.” “Aw crap, I forgot about you,” Shitward says. “Let’s see….50 bucks, or a track that will bring in a few mill….the collab.” They then walk away, but Fatrick follows them. “Eh, let’s take him and maybe...oh, I don’t know, give him a guest verse on the track. Doesn’t have to be too long, could just be 25, 30 seconds.” Eugene states, and although Shitward’s not too thrilled with the idea, he decides that they could bring him. “Aight, aight.”

They cut to the studio where Shitward is recording the hook for the song, and they have the plan. “Kraps’ verse, then mine, then his.” After hearing a bit of their verses, they go and get ready to record Fatrick. “Aight, Fatrick. Give them your best. Yo, Eugene, I’m kinda nerv-” “Don’t worry, it’ll be fine, homes.” Fatrick then goes up to the booth and starts spitting a freestyle verse.

The camera then shows Fatrick in the booth with headphones on and his mouth moving for a few seconds, until Fatrick then steps out and asks “How the hell did I do?” “Oh my shit…..Fatrick….” Shitward replies, “that was a better verse than mine….you know what? Screw just the verse! I’m gonna have you drop a mixtape!” He finishes. “YES! I CAN GET MORE MULA FOR ICE CREAM CAKE!” “Not just that, man. You can get all da shit.” The episode then cuts to SpongeCock at the strip club. He’s working as a bartender currently, and serves someone a drink as he says “man, this is somewhat hard work. I wonder how Fatrick’s doing.” At that moment, the TV comes on. It’s the news.

“Hello everyone, I’m Ronnie Snickersnee, with breaking news. Rapper Fa2rick$ has recently dropped a mixtape called ‘Ice Cream Cake X Crap’ about 20 minutes ago, and it already hit 100,000 views. Here’s his picture,” the newsperson says, as a picture of Fatrick comes up, and SpongeCock is surprised. “F-f-Fatrick….rapper?! What the hell is he getting himself into?!” he shouts, as a guy in the club comes up to him. “Man, you know that guy? His mixtape is dope, bro. You should check it out.” The news then continues - “Although the mixtape has 22 tracks on it, the most popular one is called “Crap Shit.” We will play it now.”

''Crap shit! Crap crap crap!''

Crap crap shit...

''Ice cream cake! Crap!''

I’m a fat dumbass, all I do is crap

I do that and eat ice cream cake on the track

I treat SpongeCock like a slave, made him get me crack

Ballin’ so hard in the goddamn trap

Shitward and Kraps, they’re my homies I respect

But I don’t give shit to the haters that reject

I’m so freaking high I’m in the clouds, bitch, get wrecked

I shoot it everyday and it goes in, no eject

BITCH!

''Crap shit! Crap crap crap!''

Crap crap shit...

''Ice cream cake! Crap!''

Shout out to Shitward and Kraps!

And actual craps!

Bitch it’s Fa2rick$, ballin’ on the shit

Rich Bitch $hit, I was a rich bitch

I’m rich once again, under Fa2rick$

Young rich nation, pull up and bounce rich!

''Crap shit! Crap crap crap!''

Crap crap shit...

''Ice cream cake! Crap!''

“That was literally the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever seen or heard,” SpongeCock says, with the guy who talked to him still next to him. “What do you mean? That’s hot shit, hater!” It’s then seen that Sheldon D. Bastard is in the club, on a barstool. “SpongeCock, I totally agree! He’s stealing my fame!” “Wait, you rap too?” “Yeah, but….now Fatrick….is...just...TAKING MY FAME AND MULA!” Sheldon hops down and shows SpongeCock a few pics. “See this? SEE?!” The pics show Sheldon with millions of dollars, along with with a lot of other shit. “This was before that stupid Fa2rick$ dropped his mixtape and appeared on Shitward and Kraps’ track.” He then flips the pages. “This is now!” Sheldon seems to have money still, but a lot less, and a lot less shit. “See?” “Wow….Fatrick stole all your fame, mula, hoes, and shit, right?” SpongeCock asks, with Sheldon nodding his head. “We need to get back at him. I’m gonna go drop a few tracks at the studio. See ya.” Sheldon hops off of his stool and walks out of the club.

It then cuts to Fatrick in his new mansion, in his hot tub, drinking some champagne and eating ice cream cake. “Man...it sure feels nice being in this mansion, without SpongeCock bitching about me.” He then looks at the audience. “Yeah, yeah, I know I’ve been filthy rich in three episodes already, but what are you gonna do about it?” Shitward is then running to Fatrick, talking to him about something. “Yo, Fa2rick$, I have some terrible news. Sheldon, who has been in the game for a few months, is getting jealous. I mean, he dropped a track dissing you! Here it is:”

One Diss Track Later….

“Man! He fricked me!” Fatrick exclaims, with Shitward nodding his head. “Dude, you need to get in the booth and fire back as soon as possible! You could lose all of yo shit!” Fatrick then gets out of the hot tub and goes over to Assy Cheeks. “I need to make the most of it before I lose all of it!” Fatrick yells, but Shitward facepalms as it cuts to the studio. Fatrick is shown rapping about dissing Sheldon. “Sheldon is crap, I shit him out! Ice cream cake is awe- aw crap.” “You gotta stay on-topic, man. If you don’t, the hood gon’ ridicule you, and it’s gon’ be worse!” Shitward explains. At that moment, Fatrick gets a text from Sheldon saying “meet me @ the dark alley and settle dis shit.” Fatrick gets up and takes a gun with him. “No, don’t do it! He’s probably gon’ kill you, mate!” Shitward protests, but before he can, Fatrick is already swerving away in his lambo. It then cuts to Sheldon with a hoodie on and dark clothes, and it’s 1:00 am. Fatrick is seen coming in the alley with a sweatshirt as well, hiding his gun. “I’ve been waiting for you, Fatrick. It looks like your gut slowed you down, though.” “Um...yeah.” Fatrick replies. “Well...time to end this struggle….and your rap career!” Sheldon takes out an uzi, as Fatrick takes out his pistol. Sheldon fires, but misses. Fatrick ducks and shoots his pistol, but nothing comes out. It turns out the damn fool forgot to load his gun! “Hah! You damn idiot!” Sheldon laughs, as he shoots Fatrick as he goes down. “Yes! Yes! Go down, bitch!” Sheldon explains, as Fatrick’s chain comes down and crushes Sheldon. “Ow…”

The news is then seen. “Ronnie Snickersnee here with tragic news. Rapper Fa2rick$ has been shot multiple times by rapper Sheldon Bastard. Sheldon has also been injured by a chain suff- oh, he got crushed by it? Nevermind, then.”

Fatrick is seen laying on the bed, with wounds from the gunshots. Dr. Nick is also there. “I’m Tupac!” Fatrick yells. “You’re not gonna die, so no.” he replies. Shitward and SpongeCock come in, and they are both in tears. “NO!!! Fatrick, what happened?!” SpongeCock says, but Shitward seems to be more upset. “He-he’s been shot? NO! His rap career is over. He’s been shot, man, he’s been shot. No more money, no more mansions, no more lambos, no more hoes, no more other shit!” Fatrick then looks up. “Do I still have the ice cream cakes?” He asks, and Shitward shakes his head. “NOOOO!!!!” Fatrick yells, as it zooms out and the episode ends.

Trivia

 * This episode premiered on SpongeBob SquarePants (the character)'s 31st birthday.
 * This is the second episode to feature as the title card creator. The first was "Cello Transporters."
 * According to wordcounter.net, the plot is:
 * 1,834 words.
 * 10,122 characters.
 * 91 sentences.
 * 56 paragraphs.
 * College student reading level.
 * 6 minutes, 40 seconds reading time.
 * 10 minutes, 11 seconds speaking time.
 * "Fatrick" is used more than any other word.