Ye Olde Kelp City

Ye Olde Kelp City is the second episode of Dunces and Dragons.

Transcript

 * Narrator: Previously on Dunces and Dragons, SpongeBob and Patrick traveled back to medieval times. They met King Krabs’ new assistant Sir Natson. And they were invited to the big feast and joined in a performance with Squidly!
 * [Scene: Sir Natson is outside the blacksmith shop]
 * Sir Natson: Grant you mercy blacksmith, everyday the king needeth a new sword but then after a few weeks that gent requests for another.
 * Blacksmith: I am sure that gent won't throw out this one. Fain to heareth the legendary prophecy art backeth though!
 * Sir Natson: Speaking of the legendary prophecy, have thee seen Planktonamor anywhere?
 * Blacksmith: Why art thee asking?
 * Sir Natson: Well ever since Sir SpongeBob and Sir Patrick returned, me and King Krabs haven't seen Planktonamor anywhere. So have thee seen him?
 * Blacksmith: Well I haven't seen that gent for a longeth timeth but I hath heard from a guardeth yond that gent well uhm… [whispering to Sir Natson]
 * [Scene: King Krabs is on his throne with Sir Natson next to him and Sir SpongeBob is pretending to use his new sword in the background]
 * King Krabs: Planktonamor is dead?!
 * Sir Natson: Well according to information the Blacksmith got from a guard of Planktonamor that gent is dead.
 * King Krabs: How did this befall?
 * Sir Natson: Well, we don't really know what caused his death but detectives ended up finding out Karen the Crystal Ball died with him.
 * King Krabs: [screams in anger]
 * Sir SpongeBob: Why art thee so angry about this anyway, I mean Planktonamor wast thy foe? [playing with his sword] Oh no a bow! [pretends to be a hit by an arrow then lies on the floor pretending to be dead] Okay, seriously why art thee so mad about this?
 * King Krabs: Ugh, it was long ago, before Planktonamor owned his castle, at the time the castle was owned by King Bubble Bass the 7th for that gent’s kingdom, Ye Olde Kelp City. At this time there were lots of battles going on between Ye Olde Kelp City and Bikini Bottomshire. After that gent’s death, that gent’s son, Bubble Bass the 8th claimed the throne, however when he went to claim the castle it was too late, Planktonamor had claimed the castle! Now with Planktonamor dead I art worried that Bubble Bass the 8th will claim Planktonamor’s castle!
 * [Scene: King Bubble Bass the 8th’s assistant is running to find King Bubble Bass the 8th]
 * Bubble Bass the 8th’s assistant: [to Bubble Bass] Sir! Sir!
 * Bubble Bass the 8th: Ah, my assistant, what’s your name again?
 * Bubble Bass the 8th’s assistant: Not important, anyway read this. [hands him a letter]
 * Bubble Bass the 8th: What art thou doing? You know I can’t read or write.
 * Bubble Bass the 8th’s assistant: Oh, right! Okay. [laughs]
 * Bubble Bass the 8th: [shouting] Guards! [guards come over] Send this man to the guillotine!
 * Bubble Bass the 8th’s assistant: [guards holding him] Well, let's, not do something we'll regret. I mean, I'm sure we can work something out, right?
 * Bubble Bass the 8th: [shouting] Guillotine!
 * Bubble Bass the 8th’s assistant: [guards taking him to the guillotine] I'll pay my taxes! I'll learn how to read and write! I'll make you breakfast in bed! Just please, not the guillotine!
 * Bubble Bass the 8th: Phew! Now I got them out the way, let's have a look at this letter. [picks up the letter] Blah, blah. What?! I guess I can read! Blah, blah, What?! The castle is up for grabs? [evil laugh]
 * [Scene: King Krabs’ Castle]
 * King Krabs: What are we going to do? What are we going to do?
 * Sir Natson: How about, we go claim the castle before Ye Olde Kelp City!
 * King Krabs: Yes, yes, but I have plans, so…
 * Sir Natson: [sighs] On it!
 * [Scene: Bubble Bass’ Castle]
 * Bubble Bass the 8th: So new assistant, since I am busy with some important plans, I think you should go claim this castle. [holds up a sheet of paper with a castle on it]
 * Bubble Bass the 8th’s New Assistant: Why that castle specifically?
 * Bubble Bass the 8th: Go!
 * Bubble Bass the 8th’s New Assistant: [sighs] Okay, sir! [jumps onto a seahorse and leaves the castle on the seahorse]
 * [Scene: King Krabs’ Castle]
 * Sir Natson: [looking for seahorses in the stable, all seahorses are sleeping] So, uhm. Which one of you wants to go, claim a castle, eh? [a seahorse jumps up and runs to Sir Natson] I guess you do! [rides the seahorse to the castle] Ha! I got here first! The castle is ours!
 * Bubble Bass the 8th: Ahem!
 * Sir Natson: Oh no!
 * [Scene: King Krabs’ Castle]
 * King Krabs: So, Bubble Bass owns the castle now! You failed me Sir Natson! Failed me!
 * Sir Natson: I tried-
 * King Krabs: I don’t want to hear it Sir Natson! I didn't really want Planktonamor’s castle anyway. But I also didn't want our enemies owning the castle! What are we supposed to do now?!
 * Sir SpongeBob: Here’s your sword sir! [gives sword to King Krabs]
 * King Krabs: Thank you Sir SpongeBob! [points sword towards Sir Natson’s throat] If you don't get us the castle, you won’t see the light of day ever again!
 * Sir Natson: No worries King Krabs. I've got an idea anyway.
 * [Scene: King Bubble Bass’ New Castle]
 * Sir Natson: King Bubble Bass!
 * Bubble Bass the 8th: Well, well if it isn't Sir Natson! What are you here for?
 * Sir Natson: I am here to get the castle back!
 * Bubble Bass the 8th: And how are you gonna do that?
 * Sir Natson: A joust!
 * [Scene: King Krabs’ Castle]
 * King Krabs: You got us a joust, which knight should we use for this joust? Wait a minute? [looks at Sir SpongeBob] Hmm… Hey, Sir SpongeBob. So… Do you wanna help get us the castle back?
 * Sir SpongeBob: Yeah, I mean I beat Planktonamor, so King Bubble Bass’ knights can't be any harder.
 * King Krabs: Good.
 * [Scene: Sir SpongeBob is getting ready for the joust while Squidly is singing]
 * King Krabs: Hmm… [cuts to Sir SpongeBob in his armor] That should be good enough!
 * [Scene: Sir SpongeBob is in the arena]
 * King Krabs: You ready?
 * Sir SpongeBob: Yeah. [Sir Patrick appears]
 * Sir Patrick: Hey SpongeBob.
 * Sir SpongeBob: Hi Patrick.
 * Sir Patrick: Hey, look at that guy. [points to the knight Sir SpongeBob is going to joust with] He looks really tough. You scared?
 * Sir SpongeBob: Yes. Very. Sometimes, I wish we were just watching the joust, not being a part of it.
 * King Krabs: Sir SpongeBob!
 * Sir SpongeBob: Yes, sir?
 * King Krabs: I've got the seahorse ready for you! [gets the seahorse] It is the same seahorse we used for the last joust!
 * Sir SpongeBob: Wow! [gets on the seahorse] Got the lance? [King Krabs hands him the lance] Okay, I'm ready!
 * King Krabs: Are you sure?
 * Sir SpongeBob: Yes. [the joust starts]
 * Squidly: Wow.
 * Sir Patrick: He's good. [Sir SpongeBob hits the other knight but he doesn't fall off] Oh! So close!
 * Squidly: We still have a while to go. [the knight hits Sir SpongeBob]
 * Everyone: Oh! [Sir SpongeBob goes back]
 * King Krabs: You okay?
 * Sir SpongeBob: Nope. I regret doing this now. I feel like I might die, I really do.
 * King Krabs: You know what, I would rather lose the castle then lose my best knight. You don't have to continue if you don't want to.
 * Sir SpongeBob: Thanks, but I'll continue on as long as I stay on that seahorse. [goes back]
 * Sir Patrick: So, who do you think will win?
 * King Krabs: I don't want to say.
 * Squidly: Me neither. What about you?
 * Sir Patrick: I don't want to say either. [the knight stabs his lance into Sir SpongeBob’s armor causing Sir SpongeBob to fall off his seahorse and everyone runs over to him]
 * Squidly: That bobolyne!
 * King Krabs: Is he alive?
 * Squidly: I don't know. [King Krabs gets Sir SpongeBob out of his armor] Is he breathing?
 * King Krabs: I am not sure. I can see some blood. Not much. Okay.
 * Sir Patrick: Is he alive?
 * King Krabs: Yes. He is just unconscious. He should be fine but I'll get a doctor anyway. [gets Sir SpongeBob to the castle and the episode ends]

Trivia

 * This episode was notable for being pushed back many times.