The Kelpy Curse

The Kelpy Curse is the twelfth episode of the television serious SBFW: After Hours.

Plot
Kelpy G is determined to kill Calaz. Also, four new damn fools move into the home for sale next door. Meanwhile, some weird people are running for the upcoming presidential election.

Characters

 * Calaz
 * Kelpy G
 * JackHackers
 * Nat Peterson (cameo)
 * Dan (debut, cameo)
 * SBCA (debut, cameo)
 * The Imperial Ghost (debut, cameo)
 * Cicicity (debut, cameo)
 * Tyce (mentioned)
 * Tyce (mentioned)

Transcript
Previously on SBFW: After Hours

''Olivia was gone. Forever.''

Kelpy was going to kill Calaz.

Now… this episode

“Damn fool! That bisexual Calaz and his libtard companion Travis Pineapple have ruined me!” Kelpy roared. He parked his lowrider at the end of the street, and took out a pack of recently-legalized weed cigarettes as well as an AK-47 from the trunk. He calmly walked towards 666 Damn Fool Avenue, the residence of Calaz. Kelpy shot right at Calaz through a window, but the window was MaxiGlass, and it actually bounced back, and broke a tire of Kelpy’s car.

Calaz and Travis were startled by the gunshot. “What the hell was that? Should we hide?” Calaz inquired. “No, bro. Why would you get assassinated? Only those blasted buffoon republicans would! Anyways, holy shit, wasn’t that fun!” Travis said. “You’re damn right it was! Who gives a damn about sleep anymore, let’s play Fortnite!” Calaz said. “Ew! That’s what normal people do! Let’s watch a congressional session on the new border wall to keep out ESB immigrants!” Travis squealed. “Lolno, I’mma go to bed you libtard” Calaz scoffed. He then grabbed Calaz by the shoulders. “YOU DARE TAMPER WITH THE LIBERAL NAME LIKE THAT AND YOU GET YOUR THROAT SLIT. Okay?” Travis said. “You know what, frick you. I’mma go out of the house to smoke some weed at the corner store! I don’t care if I get shot, it’ll be a better death than heart attack from fapping.” Calaz proclaimed.

As Calaz walked on the sidewalk, Travis looked at him. “Filthy conservative, I hope I never see that damn fool alive again!” he snorted. But then he looked a little closer. It was Kelpy’s car. A chill ran down Travis’ spine. “Well, uh...Olivia was an ugly ass anyways, I’m sure he got over her,” he said to himself, and turned on the TV for the congressional debate, putting it at full volume. Sometimes he couldn’t hear the congressmen speaking, screams drowned it out.

After an intermission 30 minutes in, Travis noticed that Calaz hasn’t returned from the store. “Damn fool probably getting high! At this rate he’ll spend all my progressive rally ticket money on weed!” Travis said, grabbing his keys to the electric car outside of his house and heading up to drive his car to the store.

On his way, he saw a bunch of police cars. Officer Nat Peterson walked up to him saying “Sir, there’s been a homicide on the intersection of Damn Fool Avenue and 69th Street. These streets will be closed for three days,” Officer Peterson stated. “Did you damn fools shoot another unarmed black fish? I’ll be heading to the police station to kick you out, you racist piece of crap! In fact I’ll have you all kicked out! I know for a fact that an anarchy where anyone can legally kill a black fish would be safer to them than our current situation!” Travis replied. “Well, we didn’t shoot him, and the victim wasn’t black. He was an orange fellow with a tattoo reading ‘PLAYBOY’ across his hips. You have any idea who this fella is, and why he’s out at 4 AM?” Officer Peterson asked.

Travis kicked the door open, knocking Officer Peterson unconscious from the cold, and Travis pushed passed the other officers to see a team of EMTs trying to pull a bullet out of a limp Calaz’s head. “Well crap, he’s dead,” one stated. Travis lumped down, and sobbed. “I thought president JackHackers was enough torture for me, great Jesus Sandal!” Travis cried in pain. Travis then decided to take a bus to the hospital and the courtroom to sign Calaz's death certificate. Along the way, he saw a church bearing the name “CHURCH OF JESUS SANDAL”. Travis was agitated. “No way! You killed my friend!” he screamed. He screamed causing the bus driver to kick him out, and he walked back home.

The next morning, four friends had just got out of their car to see the new house that they bought. A 4 bedroom, 3 bathroom home that would fit four new people in town. SBCA, Dan, Cicicity, and The Imperial Ghost. The four had all gotten out of the car and started walking towards what would be a new life.. “Hey SBCA, is this 34 Normal People Street in the town of Normalville like you said? My GPS says we’re at 664 Damn Fool Street in the town of Wikia! This place is ghetto as hell—from the gangsters roaming the streets due to an underfunded police due to the vastly progressive majority in this district. You just lied to move into here just to get busy with a guy across the street who calls you an 11-year-old?” Dan asked, annoyed. “Isn’t he dating Calaz?” The Imperial Ghost asked. Suddenly, a slouching man walked to the house opposite them. Cicicity took a closer look. “Hey, that’s Travis! Let’s meet him,” he said. They walked across the street to Travis’ house. “Can you fricking believe it! SBCA ruined our dream home to be in this shithole neighborhood!” Dan told Travis. But Travis just stared at the four blankly, handing them copies of a paper. They all gasped; the paper was Calaz’s death certificate. Travis grabbed his Longbow T-76 and rushed out the door with the four friends almost falling from Travis’ speed.

JackHackers was returning to his limo after a presidential speech that he had on the issue upon ESB immigrants. As him and his bodyguards were prancing towards the vehicle, someone from the far corner of a building was holding a sniper. It was very hard to tell who. No one spotted it and JackHackers was shot. Right in the head. Then the sniper fleed. JackHackers had blood spilling out of his head, he was going to die. He was immediately rushed to the hospital and was in a severe condition. Everyone was searching the area he was shot in and found no trace.

Travis suddenly ran into an alley, exhausted. “That piece of crap thinks he can kill my man, well I showed him!” he roared. He heard police sirens in his radius and started running again.

At the hospital JackHackers was very close to death. His entire family was in the room praying that he wouldn't die. This was no use though, because soon enough the room filled with the sound beeep and no heartbeat was heard. The president had died.

Fandom City had announced that a new presidential election was going to be held and anyone could run, as they were urgent for another leader. The news also said that Tyce would be running for president again. Kelpy was watching the announcement on his television. He was sort of dozing off but this got his attention. First of all, who would kill the president? Secondly, he wouldn't want that damn fool Tyce to be running for president again. But who would be running that's better than Tyce? That’s when a light bulb popped up over his head. This was the best idea he had in years, he was so proud of it. He was going to run for president.

To Be Continued...