A New Squid

A New Squid is the pilot episode for the spin-off series Squidward Talk which aired in April 23, 2013. The next episode will be Sandy the Techie.

Plot
Squdiward decides to create a new television series for Bikini Bottom named "Squidward Talk"!

Transcript
''Ah, another good day in Bikini Bottom. The fish are swimming, the plants so alive. And now we enter the Easter Island styled house of Squidward Tentacles.''

Squidward: Hmm... I wonder whats on Bikini Bottom Network today!

(He turns on the channel to see the show Zeus, The Guitar Lord.)

Squidward: If I made a show, it would be better than this rubbish.

(A knock comes from Squidward's door)

Squidward: Who can it be now?!

(He opens the door to see SpongeBob and Patrick at the door)

Squidward: Of course. Who else could it be?!

SpongeBob: We heard you were doing a new TV show.

Squidward: How did you hear me? Were you stalking me?

Patrick: No, we just were in your house. And we happened to see you in the shower. Ugh...

Squidward: WHAT!?!? Nevermind that. GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!!!

Patrick: But we just-

(Squidward slams door in their faces)

Squidward: Now to call Bikini Bottom Network.

Title Card: 1 DAY LATER

Squidward: I got a show... 7:30 Tommorow! WEE! YES! MY RISE TO FAME IS HERE!

Patrick: Did you say "Rise to Lame?" I agree with that statement.

Squidward: Anyways, I need staff.

SpongeBob and Patrick b: We will help!

Squidward: SpongeBob and Patrick? Oh brother, bring me to the insane asylum already.

Patrick: Can do, boss.

THE NEXT MORNING

(The set looks nice in a well furnished room, Squidward sits behind a desk)

Patrick: 3,2,4... Action!

Squidward: Welcome to Squidward Chat with your host Squidward Quincy Tentacles. Thank you for tuning in today!

(Patrick's mouth is seen in the camera)

Squidward: Patrick, stop biting the camera!

Patrick: But it's tasty.

(The microphone is seen hitting Squidward)

Squidward: SpongeBob, stop making the mic hit my face!

SpongeBob: Ok.

Squidward: Clarinet reeds are today's talk! Did you know a 1876 Bell Clarinet Reed in mint condition auctions off at $10,000. I have 8-

Patrick: Because you're old, you have 8?

SpongeBob: He isn't that old. He's only 90.

Squidward: Ahem. Now where was I?

Patrick: We were talking about your ugly features and immense age.

Squidward: You can't even measure age in "immenseness."

Patrick: I meant your weight.

(Squidward becomes slightly mad)

Squidward: Argh...

Patrick: Can't be under 700 though.

SpongeBob: I estimate 650.

(Squidward becomes pretty mad)

Patrick: Nah, more.

(Squidward is now steaming mad)

Squidward: AHHH!

(Squidward attacks the camera, breaking the lens)

Narrator: That was it for an episode of Squidward Talk! Come back next week for more!