Night Shift Pat/transcript

(SpongeBob looks out the window)

SpongeBob: Hey, Gary, did you always wonder what Patrick does at nighttime?

Gary: Meow.

(Cut to inside Patrick's rock)

Patrick: (looking at the TV) That guy got hit with a coconut! HAHAHAHAHA! (He looks at the clock) Oooohh. It's time for dinner! I forgot again! (Patrick walks over to his cabinets) Breakfast, Lunch, Snack, DINNER!! (He opens the cabinet) What will I have tonight?

(He looks at a list that clearly reads:)

MONDAY: CHEESEBURGER

TUESDAY: CHEESEBURGER

WEDNESDAY: CHEESEBURGER

THURSDAY: CHEESEBURGER

FRIDAY: SOUP

Patrick: Toady's the cheeseburger! (He pulls out a box of cereal) This is not a cheeseburger. This is...FRUITI!!! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHH! SpongeBob! HELP ME!

(Back at SpongeBob's)

SpongeBob: Sounds like Patrick found the cereal box in his dinner cabinet.

(Back at Patrick's)

Patrick: AAAAAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAHAAAAAA! Wait a minute. This isn't fruit. AAAAAAAAH! This is cereal! It goes in the breakfast cabinet. Now where's that cheeseburger?

(He opens a cabinet full of steaming hot soup)

Patrick: Barnacles! I'm out of cheeseburgers! I'll have to go to the Barg-n-Mart.

(He walks up to the Barg-n-Mart Door)

Patrick: Hello? Anybody in here? Hello?

Timecard: 15 MINUTES LATER...

Patrick: No response. DON'T WORRY! I'LL FREE YOU!

(He breaks through the glass door and the siren goes off)

Patrick: This happened again?! I'M IN ROCK BOTTOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Policeman #1: Patrick, what are you doing here at 9:00 PM?

Patrick: Oh, I thought it was 9:00 AM! And i'm getting a cheeseburger.

Policeman #2: Here you go.

Patrick: aaaaaaaaah! It's a CHEESEBURGER!!!! I've never ate one of these.

Policeman #1: Sir, you've ate 43 of them this year.

Patrick: Oh yeah. Well, thanks for the cheeseburger!

Policeman #2: You're welcome!

Patrick: I'M INVITED TO YOUR HOUSE?! HURRAY!

Policeman #2: No you're not.

Patrick (starts crying): PATRICK SAD!

Policeman#1: He's Weird!

Patrick: (Dramatically) WHY? Why did you say that? (Normally) By the way, can you ride me home?

Policeman: Why?

Patrick: I'm tired, that's why!

Policeman: Okay, okay!!! Sheesh, what a dim-wit!

(Everybody sits in the police car. Car starts, the police car drives)

Patrick: (Look interested) Where are you taking me? I am too young to be in jail! Help!

(Patrick hits policeman - siren goes to work. Cut to the police car approaching Patrick's Rock)

Patrick: HELP!

(In SpongeBob's house. SpongeBob wakes up)

SpongeBob: Good morning...Wait. It's 10:00 PM? No matter - OH NO! PATRICK'S GOING TO JAIL! (screams, runs right out of the house) What happened, Patrick?

Patrick: Eee... I don't know... But I have cheeseburger for dinner!

SpongeBob: Dinner? 10:00 PM?

Patrick: Wait. When I started dinner was 8:00 PM!

SpongeBob: Looks like you went for cheeseburger for two hours? No matter - I go home and you go home to SLEEP - Get it?

Patrick: Eee... Maybe...

(At the same time the police car returns)

SpongeBob: Have you forgotten something?

Policeman1# : Yes, Patrick forgot his book on how to sleep.

SpongeBob: But Patrick always sleeps.

Policeman1# : Oh yeah. So this is yours, Mr. SquarePants.

SpongeBob: But I know how to sleep.

Policeman1# : I mean for your snail.

SpongeBob: Gary, do you know how to sleep?

Gary: Meow (Translation: Yes)

SpongeBob: Gary knows how to sleep.

Policeman#1: Oh. Okay, so this is my brother's book.

Policeman#2 : You mean mine?

Policeman#1: Um, yeah.

Policeman#2 : Yes it is mine.

(Patrick gets out of his rock and burps really loud)

SpongeBob: I told you to sleep.

Patrick: Well I had to eat.

SpongeBob: OK, Patrick good night.

Patrick (While burping): Good night to you too.

Policeman1# : zzzzzzzz

SpongeBob: zzzzzzzzzz

Patrick: zzzzzzzzzzzzz

Policeman#2 : Now, to fall a sleep first you have to get bored, how do I get bored, second close your eyes, how on earth do I do that? Oh how do I do it! Oh, I'll always be... (starts crying really loud) AWAKE!

THE END