The Squidward Files: New Year's Squid

The Squidward Files: New Year's Squid is the 6th episode of The Squidward Files that premiered on December 30, 2012. The previous episode is The Squidward Files: Christmas Special and the next is The Squidward Files: Urchin Crab.

Plot
It's the run up to New Year, and King Neptune has invited everyone to come to the palace to celebrate. Squidward attends, not realising that the guards are the Purple Dragons.

Awards
This episode hasn't won any awards yet.

Transcript

 * (It's New Year's Eve, and Squidward is at home preparing for the event. Suddenly, a letter comes through the mail flap from King Neptune).


 * Squidward: A letter for me, like this can be real life. I crack myself up sometimes!


 * Voice in Head: Squidward, get a hold of yourself, this is real life. Read the letter and find something important to you.


 * Squidward: Like what, an invitation to King Neptune's New Year's celebration? A front row ticket to Kelpy J's concert?


 * Voice in Head: Open the letter and find out Squidward, just open the letter, do it, do it, do it already!


 * (Squidward opens the letter and sees it is from King Neptune. It says "Dear Random Bikini Bottomite, you are invited to my celebration. King Neptune".).


 * Squidward: Yes, yes, yes! Yes, I'm invited to King Neptune's New Year celebration and your not SpongeBob! Sucka!


 * (SpongeBob and Patrick appear outside, both holding the exact same letters, looking confused at Squidward).


 * SpongeBob: Actually Squidward, we all got invitations, me, Patrick, Mr Krabs, ECT...


 * Patrick: Heck yeah!


 * Squidward: I knew it was just too good to be true...


 * (With 6 hours to go until New Year, everyone heads off to King Neptune's Palace. Famous fish and all Bikini Bottomites turn up. Squilliam Fancyson is the centre of attention).


 * Squilliam: So then I said, what's that little thing in your pocket old chap, and he was like, nothing Squilliam.


 * Squidward: That no good centre of attention. Next he'll be questioning to the King, "Do you know who I am?".


 * SpongeBob: Hey, that's the guy with the funny eyebrow!


 * Squilliam: Ow, SpongeBrain, I'm not "The guy with a funny eyebrow", I'm the real octopus of the ocean and not a smug copycat like Squidward Tentacles.


 * Squidward: Hey, I can hear you I know!


 * King Neptune: Order, order in the hall people! Right, I have invited you folk here tonight to bring in the New Year. Enjoy and please stay until the countdown.


 * (At the other side of the Palace, the Purple Dragons come in on ropes and knock out the four guards. They fit into the heavy suits).


 * Purple Dragons Leader: Right, we've done step 1, so now to find Squidward Tentacles, and now we're in the suits King Neptune will think we're taking out a villain! Come on.


 * Patrick: What's this, a coo, cook, co...


 * Squidward: For goodness sake Patrick it's a coke!


 * Mr. Krabs: Hey there fellas, having a nice evening?


 * Squidward: Yes if SpongeBob and Patrick stop making a fool of me!


 * Mr. Krabs: Well I'll just be off pickpocketing the rich, I mean feeding my worm here!


 * SpongeBob: But Mr. Krabs, you don't have a worm pet.


 * Mr. Krabs: Best be getting along now guys, see you at the Krusty Krab!


 * (King Neptune announces on speaker that it is five minutes until it strikes midnight and New Year. Meanwhile, the Purple Dragons target Squidward).


 * Jason: But boss, what if he doesn't' have his diary?


 * Purple Dragons Leader: Hey idiot, pipe down or people will know we're trying to steal the diary. I know he has it, he's addicted to it.


 * Bowser: So are you as a matter if fact, boss.


 * Purple Dragons Leader: Shut your gob hole or I'll just make you shut up by stabbing you with this large sword!


 * Bowser: Won't happen again.


 * (The crowd start cheering as the clock strikes 23.59. The Purple Dragons realise they only have one minute to pull this off before the security scanners flash at 00.00).


 * Purple Dragons Leader: Sharkface, Jason, go down and assianate Squidward Tentacles. I've got to deal with Bowser!


 * Sharkface: Come on Jason we've got to go quickly!


 * Bowser: What are you gonna do to me boss?


 * Purple Dragons Leader: I'm gonna...promote you to my personal and full-time bodyguard! That's what I'm gonna do.


 * (Jason and Sharkface risk it and jump into the crowd, running towards Squidward with 10 seconds left).


 * SpongeBob: Squidward, watch out!


 * (SpongeBob swings Squidward out the way over a tray of fresh bakery items. The two Purple Dragons smash into SpongeBob and bounce off).


 * Everyone: HAPPY NEW YEAR!


 * Jason: Oh no, we're busted!


 * (All the Purple Dragons are revealed and taken away by the real guards. Everyone celebrates and barely realises the calamity).


 * Narrator: Happy New Year to all readers on the Wiki!


 * [End of episode]