Riding the Rails

Riding the Rails is the sixth Basket Sponge short. It was written by Doctor Bugs.

Plot
Mr. Krabs learns life as a hobo from Special Steve.

Characters

 * Mr. Krabs
 * Special Steve
 * Plankton
 * Pearl
 * Patrick Star
 * Tweety Bird (cameo)
 * Sylvester (cameo)
 * Huckleberry Hound (cameo)
 * Rough Fish
 * Pirates

Transcript
''[Mr. Krabs comes home late one night after work]''

Krabs: Ah, another successful day of cheating folks out of their money. (unlocks his front door)

[He steps inside, noticing that his house is gone, only with the front door still there]

Krabs: Me house! What happened! (starts crying)

Plankton: (jumps on the scene) I destroyed it in search of the Krabby Patty formula.

Krabs: (sobbing) All of me possessions! All of me money! Ruined!!!!

Pearl: (stumbles out of a pile of debris) I'm still alive, Daddy. Don't worry.

Krabs: WHO CARES ABOUT YOU, PEARL! MY HOUSE WAS DESTROYED!!!

Pearl: It's MY house too, ya know.

Krabs: Oh! That reminds me! I still have one lest possession I can sell!

Pearl: Wait....don't tell me your gonna sell ME.

[Scene cuts to Pearl tied up on a pirate ship]

Pirate: Argh! This young lady slave costed $500!

Pirate Captain: Argh! She was way too expensive!

First Mate: Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!

[Scene cuts back to Mr. Krabs holding a bag of money]

Krabs: I sold me last possession, me daughter Pearl. But $500 still isn't enough to get a new house! (starts sobbing)

Plankton: Calm down, Krabs, we'll figure something else. You can stay with me in the Chum Bucket.

Krabs: Noever I'll live in the Krusty Krab!

Plankton: Kinda destroyed that too....

Krabs: Can't you see this is all YOUR fault! Now where do I go?

Plankton: Well, you could become a hobo.

Krabs: Why would I wanna become a hobo?

Plankton: Hobos are awesome! In fact, I know a guy who can help you.

Krabs: Who????

Plankton: Special Steve, come here!

Special Steve: (hops out of a trash can) Ahoy!

Krabs: A human in Bikini Bottom?

Plankton: Yep, he's one of the few.

Special Steve: I can teach you EVERYTHING about life as a hobo!

Krabs: Why do they call you special steve?

Special Steve: (barfs out a unicorn) A mango!!! Mah favorite vegetable!!! (shoves the unicorn up his nostril)

Krabs: Whoa.....you are.......

Special Steve: Special?

Krabs: Very.

Special Steve: Well, let's goooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!

[Scene cuts to Steve and Krabs in a dark alley]

Special Steve: In the hood, you need to establish dominance by proving you're top dog!

Krabs: I'm watching.

Special Steve: (walks up to a giant rough-looking fish) Hey, you! You think you're so tough!

Rough Fish: (grunt)

Special Steve: Well you're not! You're going DOWN!

Rough Fish: (pounds Steve's face into the ground)

Krabs: You seem to be losing, Steve.

Special Steve: I tawt I taw a puddy tat!

Tweety Bird: Hey! That's MY line! (beats up Steve and the Rough Fish)

Rough Fish: RUN! SAVAGE TWEETY BIRD ON THE LOOSE!!!!!

Sylvester: (in a garbage can) That's what I've been tellin' people for years!

Tweety Bird: Tee-hee. I'm evil.

[Scene cuts to Steve and Krabs in front of a line of trash cans]

Special Steve: Now I'm going to teach you how to eat good in the hood!

Krabs: Looks....delicious.

Special Steve: (reaches into a garbage can) Let's see what we got here.....oh! A delicious sock! And......a hunk of moldy meatloaf! Score!

Krabs: (gagging) Don't you have anything better?

Special Steve: It's your lucky day, Krabs my friend, cuz I have a.......hound dog! (pulls out Yogi Bear)

Huckleberry Hound: (looks at the audience) It's not nearly as funny when you're the third crossover character in one cartoon.

Special Steve: (chucks Huckleberry behind his shoulder) We still have one more thing to learn!

Krabs: And what's that?

Special Steve: Ridin' the rails!

Krabs: (gulp)

[Scene cuts to Krabs and Steve standing beside a railroad track]

Speial Steve: All we have to do is wait for the train to pass, and we hop inside of it!

Krabs: What's the point of this?

Special Steve: Cuz that's what hobos do!

Krabs: I don't like being a hobo.

Special Steve: It's a way of life, Krabs. You'll warm up to it eventually. Shhh, the train's coming!

[The train is coming at an alarmingly fast rate]

Krabs: Why's he going so fast?

[The train turns OFF the track, and charges directly at Steve and Krabs]

Special Steve: (running) I've never had a train do this before!!!!!

Krabs: (running) The driver wants to kill us! This is all your fault, Steve!

Special Steve: I'm sorry, Krabs. There's just one more thing you need to learn about being a hobo.

Krabs: Whaaaatttt????

Special Steve: It's....it's....

Krabs: SPIT IT OUT!!!!!!!!!!!

Special Steve: It's... (the train runs over both of them)

[The driver is revealed to be Patrick]

Patrick: Tee-hee! I like trains!