Sibling Rivalry (The New Adventures of the IJLSA)

Sibling Rivalry is the second episode of season two from the spin-off The New Adventures of the IJLSA. It aired on January 15, 2013. The previous episode was The New Adventures of the IJLSA Reality Show! and the next is Tangled Timeline.

Plot
The IJLSA have a new visitor when an unknown person comes to town. SpongeBob does not take a liking to this new fish and reveals it is his very sly brother. His brother, who’s revealed name is Max, begins to steal things from around town, giving the IJLSA a bad name. Now Max has joined ULTRA EVIL and brings henchman to take down the IJLSA. Can the IJLSA defeat the mob, and can SpongeBob defeat Max when he unleashes an unknown power?

Transcript

 * [episode starts with the IJLSA members standing in front of Man Ray in downtown Bikini Bottom, looking at each other]
 * SpongeBob: Face it, Man Ray. You're outnumbered big time. There's five of us and one of you.
 * Man Ray: It may seem like that theory, Quickster. Who needs a headcount when you have a ray in your pocket that can destroy entire cities at the molecular level?
 * Patrick: You wouldn't dare. You're bluffing. He's bluffing you guys.
 * Sandy: Uh...well, I don't know.
 * Man Ray: [laughs] I wouldn't trust that. Say goodbye to the ocean, IJLSA. It's the last few seconds you'll see it. [reaches into pocket and takes out ray]
 * SpongeBob: That's it! [runs at extreme speed and disappears]
 * Patrick: Hey, where did he go? [hears broken glass] I think he just broke into the rope store.
 * SpongeBob: [runs back beside the team] Well, it looks like this is all wrapping up quite nicely, if you know what I mean.
 * Man Ray: [appears to be tied up in rope] You think you have defeated me? Ha! [sprays ray from the ray gun on building, causing it to disappear, causing fish to fall from high levels]
 * Sandy: No! Patrick, grab those fish!
 * Patrick: Aye aye, sir. [stretches arms and legs and catches all of the fish, causing them to slide down Patrick's arms and legs to the road safely]
 * Sandy: Now to take down you, Man Ray. [disappears and reappears next to Man Ray, untieing him from the ropes]
 * Man Ray: Why would you guys let me free?
 * Sandy: Who said anything about letting you free? SpongeBob, if you may do the honors.
 * SpongeBob: Gladly. [runs at super speed and returns at super speed, unknowingly placing a cage over Man Ray]
 * Man Ray: This isn't over, IJLSA. I will soon return! [cage is placed in police truck] This is not the last that you will see of the notorious Man Ray!
 * Patrick: Well we've sure seen enough! Good job, team. Another villain behind bars is another smile on a citizen's face.
 * Sandy: Wait a minute. Did you say yes sir? Are you calling me a man?
 * Patrick: [sarcastically] No, Sandy. Why would I call you a man?
 * [scene cuts to IJLSA base where SpongeBob is in the main room at the table, upgrading his shoes]
 * SpongeBob: Now just a few more touch-ups on the base.
 * Patrick: What are you doing SpongeBob? A few boosts to your jogging shoes?
 * SpongeBob: They're running shoes, Patrick, not jogging shoes. I'm just upgrading my shoes so that they are sixty percent faster. I almost put everyone at risk because of my slowness today in that battle with Man Ray.
 * Patrick: Slowness? I couldn't even see you when you were running.
 * Voice: Seems like you were running pretty fast.
 * SpongeBob: [looks up in shock] What are you doing here?! Who sent you here?!
 * Patrick: Is this an intruder, SpongeBob? [stretches out arms and holds person in place] Now state your business here, stranger.
 * Intruder: Seems like an odd way to treat a family member, doesn't it, SpongeBob?
 * SpongeBob: You and me are not family. Please leave...now!
 * Patrick: [puts intruder down] SpongeBob, do you know this person? Who is he?
 * SpongeBob: He is an uninvited guest who should not step foot in this place. Or as my mother and father call him...my brother, Maxwell SquarePants.
 * Max: I really just prefer Max.
 * SpongeBob: I really do not care what you prefer. After you besmirched the name of the SquarePants family with your thefts and robberies. People may see you as our brother, but I see you as nothing but a...[reaches into pocket of Max and pulls out a Pearl necklace and wristwatch] criminal.
 * Max: [chuckles] Hey, let's not jump to conclusions now. These aren't stolen items...per say. These are nice gifts given to me from my neighbors...indirectly.
 * SpongeBob: [chuckles] Indirectly, you say. What does that mean?
 * Max: Interrogation isn't the best way to treat a family member now is it? It's supposed to be a time of gathering together [places arm around SpongeBob] and catching up on the past.
 * SpongeBob: [forces arm off] There is no past to catch up on, because you ruined it when you stole that five hundred thousand dollar car from that building downtown!
 * Max: If they didn't want someone stealing a half a million dollar car, then they probably shouldn't have it lying three hundred feet from the building with the doors unlocked.
 * Patrick: Hey now. Let's slow down the quickness there, Quickster. I see that your brother may not the best person in the world to get along with siblingwise, but I know there is some good out of all of this.
 * SpongeBob: The only good that can come out of this is if he goes back to the Atlantic Ocean.
 * Max: If that's what you wish. [appears to stand in place]
 * Patrick: What is he doing?
 * SpongeBob: Fine. Be a smarty pants if you wish. [turns around and crosses arms]
 * Patrick: But's he not even doing anything.
 * SpongeBob: That's what you think. He just ran back home and back four hundred times. He inherited our father's Quickster shoes while I had to build prototypes by myself.
 * Max: Oh, please, SpongeBob. If you're not going to be a welcoming brother, then I'll just leave. [begins to walk out door] Sorry that I just wanted to see my own brother.
 * SpongeBob: Well at least you can get back to your robberies without any interruptions by me.
 * Squidward: [enters room] I'm guessing that was your brother, SpongeBob. And I'm sensing you two do not have a very...bonding-like...relationship.
 * SpongeBob: [sighs] It's just that...my brother steals everything he sees. It's just so complicated when he comes around. What do you say to your brother who is a thief when you're a superhero?
 * Patrick: I'm not the best at answering questions, but even I know that one's a toughy.
 * [scene cuts to U.L.T.R.A. E.V.I.L. base where Plankton is viewing Max walking down a sidewalk in town]
 * Plankton: This is just what we need. The blood relative of The Quickster, and he inherits the quick powers. We are looking at some really evil potential here. [presses button, causing Max to teleport into the U.L.T.R.A. E.V.I.L. base]
 * Max: Hey, where am I?
 * Plankton: Security! Intruder alert! I repeat intruder alert!
 * Computer: Activating security alert defense.
 * [a pack of missile launchers exit walls and fire at Max]
 * Max: What is this? [runs at super speed and grabs a missile; runs at super speed down a field and jumps, leaping high into the sky and releases the missile] Now how I going to get down? [begins to fall but is saved by stepping down the remaining missiles like stairs]
 * Plankton: A very worthy opponent I see. You got the job, and may I say, I think you will make a very promising employee.
 * Max: Hired to do what? Who are you? And employee?
 * Plankton: Welcome to U.L.T.R.A. E.V.I.L. Trust me, you don't want to know what that stands for. It's a doozy. You are now The Swift of Evil.
 * Max: I like it. So why did you hire me?
 * Plankton: I saw you and your brother, SpongeBob, have some, shall I say, breaks in your sibling relationship. You try to give him your constant attention around the clock, yet he turns you down everytime. I mean he didn't even tell his superhero partners about you. With that said, now is not the time for trying to get a brother to spend time with you. Now is the time to spend time getting revenge. Now that's you're The Swift of Evil, you can cause havoc around town all you want.
 * Max: Good points. But what about the IJLSA? How will I defeat them single handedly?
 * Plankton: Leave that one up to me. [laughs evilly]
 * [scene cuts to IJLSA base where SpongeBob is upgrading his shoes]
 * SpongeBob: [places screwdriver on the desk] Finally. My shoes are now completely upgraded. I can now run anywhere I please, but sixty percent faster.
 * Max: [runs speedily into room] Sixty percent faster, you say? Pretty fast.
 * SpongeBob: What are you doing here again?
 * Max: Just trying to spend a little quality time with my brother is all. [pulls out remote and presses button] There we go. The deed is done, Master Plankton.
 * Plankton: [steps in] Perfect. The IJLSA base will now blow up in ten minutes.
 * Patrick: [rushes into room] You two! [stretches and grabs remote and throws it at wall, breaking it]
 * Plankton: Too late, Stretchy Man. We've already activated the bomb. Seems like I'm wasting time explaining things here. I might as well put out the signal now. [blasts air horn]
 * Sandy: [appears in room] Ha! What was that even supposed to do?
 * Squidward: [walks into room] Uh, not to alarm anyone it may concern, but there is about one hundred guys dressed in black ninja outfits surrounding the base.
 * SpongeBob: What?
 * [all run outside to see a large army on ninjas surrounding the base]
 * Max: Well, while you guys have your playdate, I have some unfinished business with my brother here. [grabs SpongeBob, places him on shoulders, and runs at super speed into horizon]
 * Sandy: SpongeBob! No!
 * Patrick: He'll be fine. First we have to handle the...[thrown onto ground by ninja]...mob.
 * Squidward: Who wants a piece of volcano apple slices? [begins to spray magma at henchman through hands and head] It comes free for anyone who gives up now. [pile of henchman jump on Squidward] You just all made a big mistake. [head explodes with an eruption of magma, sending the henchman flying]
 * Sandy: Now you see me. [makes self invisible] Now you don't. [kicks ninja onto the ground and then turns visible] Anyone else want some? [turns invisible and throws ninja into another ninja]
 * [scene cuts to Max running with SpongeBob, eventually throwing SpongeBob into a face of a coral tree]
 * SpongeBob: [stands up] Max, why are you doing all of this? Why would you want to join such an evil alliance like U.L.T.R.A. E.V.I.L?
 * Max: Maybe because they didn't throw me out like yesterday's garbage. Maybe because they offered me a job, a career, and a chance to be with my family, just evilly.
 * SpongeBob: Well then. If that's your final word on the subject, I believe we have nothing left to discuss here. [runs at super speed and kicks Max on to the ground]
 * Max: [laughs and stands up] Up to your same tricks again, eh, brother? Automatically kick an enemy and they just surrender to you. Well not this enemy.
 * SpongeBob: Then I guess I have to give you another taste of your own medicine. [runs at super speed yet is slipped by Max, causing SpongeBob to fall to the ground] How did you do that?
 * Max: It's simple. Our father was the fastest Quickster there ever was with these shoes. Even faster than the original. Your shoes are useless.
 * SpongeBob: [stands up] But how is that even possible?
 * Max: Oh, you haven't seen anything yet, my friend. [rubs hands together, creating a yellow orb]
 * SpongeBob: The yellow orb. I thought only Mermaid Man possessed that power. Unless...don't tell me you stole Mermaid Man's power chamber.
 * Max: What does it matter anymore. I'm evil, remember? [laughs evilly]
 * [Max throws orb at SpongeBob, only for SpongeBob to catch the orb and throw it back at Max, causing him to fall to the ground]
 * Max: [stands up] How did you do that?
 * SpongeBob: You read all two hundred ninety six volumes of Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy comics and you pick up a few things. [leaps at Max foot first]
 * [scene cuts back to the rest of the IJLSA, attempting to defeat the ninja army]
 * Patrick: [stretches arms and throws a ninja into another] There's way too many of them! We'll never be able to defeat the army and disable the bomb in time.
 * Plankton: Speaking of the bomb, you have...[looks at timer] two minutes until the IJLSA base explodes.
 * Sandy: No!
 * [scene cuts back to the field with SpongeBob and Max]
 * SpongeBob: [stands up] Max, you can quit this senseless fighting now. I'm your own brother. The only reason I turned you away was because of the way you betrayed the family name. You have to see that...[kicked to the ground by Max]
 * Max: I don't have to see anything! I finally have a life where nobody shuns me! Nobody judges me for who I am like you did! Have fun in the crater that will be Bikini Bottom. [runs at super speed away from the field]
 * SpongeBob: Wait a minute! [runs at super speed to downtown Bikini Bottom] I hope I have enough time. [looks at watch] Only fifteen seconds! [grabs Man Ray's ray gun and runs back to the base]
 * [scene cuts to the IJLSA base where SpongeBob is running from the horizon]
 * Squidward: Hey look! It's SpongeBob, coming with...Man Ray's ray gun?
 * Sandy: What is he doing with that?
 * SpongeBob: [looks at watch] Only five seconds! [leaps into air and grabs ray gun] Four, three...[fires ray gun at IJLSA base, causing it to disappear] Get down, guys!
 * [all of IJLSA get down while bomb explodes, causing an the water above the ocean to bubble]
 * Patrick: [stands up after bomb explosion] Well, that was scary. Thanks for saving our skins, SpongeBob. I thought we were all doomed.
 * Squidward: But...where's the...[looks at barren space] IJLSA base?
 * SpongeBob: Don't worry, guys. I'll just build a new one. [runs at super speed and appears next to the IJLSA, staring at the structure]
 * Sandy: Well, looks the same to me. Home sweet home is safe. I just wonder what happened to Plankton and the rest of the army.
 * [scene cuts to U.L.T.R.A. E.V.I.L. base where Plankton, the army, and Max are standing]
 * Plankton: Drats! We had them right in our grasp but they slipped away! [points to Max] And it's all your fault as well. If it weren't for you, we would have the IJLSA just begging for mercy from us right now!
 * Max: You're pinning this on me now?! Fine! I don't have to take this from a single-celled organism! I quit! [walks out of U.L.T.R.A. E.V.I.L. base; whispers] But I'll be back. First, for the IJLSA, and then U.L.T.R.A. E.V.I.L. [laughs evilly]
 * [episode ends]

Trivia

 * This is the debut appearance of Maxwell SquarePants.
 * Maxwell SquarePants is the first official revealed member of U.L.T.R.A. E.V.I.L. (despite his quitting).
 * It is revealed that the Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy comic book series had two hundred ninety six volumes.
 * It also reveals that Mermaid Man had the ability to produce an orb of energy with his hands.