The Squidward Files: Book of Squidward

The Squidward Files: Book of Squidward is the pilot episode of The Squidward Files that premiered on December 2, 2012. The next episode is The Squidward Files: A New Page.

Plot
When Squidward buys a diary at Shopper's Land, he finds out about a punk group called the Purple Dragons, who want to get the diary.

Characters

 * Squidward Tentacles (debut)
 * Purple Dragons Leader (debut)
 * Sandy Cheeks (debut)
 * Patrick Star (debut)
 * SpongeBob SquarePants (debut)
 * Eugene H. Krabs (debut)
 * Bill [the Checkout Fish] (debut)
 * Cop 1 (debut)
 * Cop 2 (debut)
 * Purple Dragons Members (debut)

Awards

 * Kids Choice Awards 2011 for Favorite Cartoon Show.
 * Kids Choice Awards 2012 for Favorite Tv Actor.
 * Kids Choice Awards 2013 for Good Work On The Show.
 * Kids Choice Awards 2014 for Bad/ Good Friend Of SpongeBob Since 1999.
 * Kids Choice Awards 2015 for Favorite Negative Attitude Person.

Transcript

 * (The morning is dawning and the sun is rising. Squidward opens his eyes and admires the wonderful sun).


 * Squidward: What a beautiful day it is today. And to add to that, it's Sunday. No work on Sunday. Life is just to good to be true. Better go downstairs and get a wonderful breakfast!


 * (Squidward glides downstairs and pours the cereal, Bran Flakes, into his decorated dish).


 * Squidward: Yum, yum, Bran Flakes are my favourite. What to add to it. Ah yes, a croissant and some a latte would go perfect.


 * (Meanwhile, Patrick Star stumbles out of his rock. He gets up and heads over to knock on Squidward's door. He knocks hard).


 * Patrick: Squidward, Squidward, I need to tell you something. Something you must know urgently!


 * (Squidward gets up, grumpy, and answers the door. He sees Patrick jumping up and down, still knocking hard).


 * Squidward: For goodness sake Patrick, you're gonna break my door down. Now, what do you want?


 * Patrick: Well, I thought you might know this already, but haven't you got a job down at the Krusty Krab?


 * Squidward: Yes Patrick, I do, but if you look on my calendar, it's Sunday for goodness sake!


 * Patrick: Oh, well how was I supposed to know? It's not like there's a "magic" thing on the wall called a calendar that tells you what day it is.


 * Squidward: Patrick, please, stop playing dumb, you know just to well what a calendar is. Do you remember that Christmas you begged me for one?


 * Patrick: Nope.


 * Squidward: Go away.


 * Patrick: Ok, see you later, Squiddy.


 * (Squidward comes inside, furious, and sees that his latte has gone cold. He gets even more angry).


 * Squidward: PATRICK!!! When I get my hands on you, I'm gonna... Ok, Squidward, calm down, it's just a latte, now what should we do today?


 * (Squidward goes onto Google, and looks up "Things to do in Bikini Bottom on Sunday". He finds a website that says a new store is open today called Shopper's Land).


 * Squidward: Well, I could go to Shopper's Land and see what's down there. Why don't I give it a try?


 * (Squidward sets off walking down the road into the city and sees a sign saying "Shopper's Land, this way". He follows the signs but suddenly he bumps into Mr. Krabs.)


 * Mr. Krabs: Morning Squidward, why ain't you at the Krusty Krab?


 * Squidward: Mr. Krabs, Patrick was playing dumb with me earlier, don't you start.


 * Mr. Krabs: Why so grumpy Squidward, it was only a joke. You can go to the Krusty Krab if you want I'll send SpongeBob.


 * Squidward: Mr. Krabs, of course I don't want to go to the Krusty Krab, and I'm sure SpongeBob wouldn't either.


 * Mr. Krabs: Cheerio, then Squidward. Be at work on time tomorrow, please.


 * Squidward: You got it.


 * (Squidward gets to Shopper's Land and goes inside).


 * Squidward: Wow, this place sure is neat. Look at all the stuff.


 * Sandy Cheeks: Sure is, Squidward.


 * (Squidward swerves round and jumps at the sight of Sandy. She is carrying two cans of soy beans).


 * Squidward: Sandy, you scared the living daylights out of me. What are you doing with those soy beans?


 * Sandy: Just gonna do a little ka-ra-tay with them. See how strong they are.


 * Squidward: Who the heck chops up a soy bean? A dumb fish, I would think.


 * Sandy: Two things before I pay for these, one is I would chop soy beans and two is I'm no fish. Well, gotta go.


 * Squidward: Ok, you go ahead and get lost.


 * (After his meeting with Sandy, Squidward eyes a velvet diary. He picks it up and takes it to the counter).


 * Squidward: How much for this diary? I really want it!


 * Checkout Fish: Ten bucks for that beauty, my man!


 * Squidward: I'll get it please!


 * Checkout Fish: Oi, listen, before you go, that is a most wanted diary in all of Bikini Bottom. Some people would give anything for a diary like that. Tip, watch out for the Purple Dragons.


 * Squidward: Who the heck are the Purple Dragons? I don't like the sound of them.


 * Checkout Fish: The Purple Dragons are a gang of nasty fish who steal people's belongings. They want that diary very bad! So if you're walking through the city, watch out.


 * Squidward: Will do, ugh, Bill?


 * Bill: That's my name, now get a move on mate, we've got a whole line of flipping customers waiting!


 * (Squidward walks out of Shopper's Land, and heads back to his house. He then spots the thug gang, the Purple Dragons, advancing on him).


 * Purple Dragon Leader: Listen up mate, me and my gang have been searching for that diary for years. Hand it over now or your in for it...


 * (Several Purple Dragon members pull out knives, axes, and other weapons of possible torture. Squidward stumbles back and drops the diary).


 * Squidward: I d-didn't realise h-how much this diary meant to you. Please don't hurt me.


 * Purple Dragon Leader: Listen, hand over the diary and I'll let you go. If not, then your life is gonna turn into a misery.


 * (Squidward finds time to escape, and crawls behind an abandoned house. The Purple Dragons chase in pursuit. They eventually catch up).


 * Purple Dragon Leader: You should know by now that you can not escape the Purple Dragons. You may get away but we will track you down.


 * (The leader pulls Squidward out of his hiding place and threatens him once again. Squidward spots SpongeBob and cries for help).


 * SpongeBob: Oh no, Squidward is in trouble, I must save him, whatever the risk is!


 * (SpongeBob charges at the Purple Dragons and pretends to act like his is invincible).


 * SpongeBob: You want Squidward, you'll have to go through me first!


 * Purple Dragon Member: Oh really, well bring it on SpongeBrain!


 * (SpongeBob lands a swift kick at the Purple Dragon and knocks him clean out. Squidward climbs out of the mess in all the confusion and watches SpongeBob face the gang).


 * Purple Dragon Leader: You and your "octo-friend" will die today! You will never defeat the Purple Dragons!


 * (Several Purple Dragon members headlock SpongeBob and take him to the ground. Just then, Sandy walks out of Shopper's Land. She drops her soy beans and rushes to the scene).


 * Sandy: Get off my friends you flipping punks!


 * (She lands a heavy blow at the Purple Dragon leader and knocks him out cold. Squidward calls the cops and help arrives. Several cops handcuff the punks and put them into the police cars).


 * Cop 1: I need to thank you three for tracking down the Purple Dragons. We have looked for them for ages.


 * (The cop hands the trio twenty bucks each, and drives off with the punks in the back of the car. Mr. Krabs hears the mentioning of money).


 * Mr. Krabs: Officer, where's my reward? I helped too!


 * Cop 2: Face it, you didn't help at all. EPIC FAIL!!!


 * (Mr. Krabs gets angry and stomps off. The trio thank each other and walk back to their houses as the sun sets on Bikini Bottom)...
 * [end of episode]