Rich Bitch $hit

”Rich Bitch $hit” is the ninth episode of Season 1 of Life in Bikini Bottom. It is rated TV-14-DL and C.

Characters
NOTE: List is incomplete.
 * Fatrick Star
 * SpongeCock SquarePants
 * Shitward Testicles
 * Security Guard
 * Lottery Announcer

Synopsis
Fatrick wins the lottery and becomes a millionaire, but SpongeCock gets annoyed when Fatrick starts bragging about it and overall being a jerk about it to SpongeCock by rubbing it in his face, causing him to go to Shitward.

Plot
The episode starts off with Fatrick taking his usual 3 PM crap and eating his ice cream cake. SpongeCock goes over to his house to tell him about the new Ice Cream Cake Bites at the corner store. Fatrick becomes so happy that he takes another crap that took almost an hour, but by 4 PM, they were going to the corner store. “I can’t wait to eat all this ice cream cake!” Fatrick says, rushing over to the frozen aisle. He slams open the freezer door and shoves 5 pounds of ice cream cake bites into his mouth, but a security guard comes over. “Sir, I’m afraid you’re gonna have to leave the store. Can’t have people running - well, you can’t run for obvious reasons - but you can’t be stealing food and not paying for it.” Fatrick then ignores and runs off with a huge ice cream cake, but the guard tackles him. A time card comes and says “One Tiring Tug Later” and the guard gives up right near the checkout counter and states “Alright, tub, you’re on your own.” “Come on, Fatrick, let’s go” SpongeCock says, but Fatrick hears a sound.

“Welcome to the Bikini Bottom lottery! With top prizes up to $10,000,000!” a fish calls out through a megaphone.

Our whole universe was in a G and PG state

Then nearly fourteen billion years ago was inappropriate, wait

Fatrick shit a stool, Shitward began to drool

They invented crap that rules

We built a great, great wall (we started cursing)

Shit, titties bursting, unraveling the coercing

''This is Life in Bikini Bottom! PG-13!''

“Yes!” Fatrick replies, “with that much money, I can buy a lifetime supply of ice cream cakes!” SpongeCock counters this by saying “But Fatrick, you ate a whole lifetime supply of ice cream cake yesterday.” Ignoring this, Fatrick goes over to the lottery stand, about to buy a ticket. However, SpongeCock tries to tell him that he’s just gonna waste his money on a ticket. “No one wins the lottery. It’s almost impossible! Fatrick, you don’t believe in this, do you?” Fatrick ignores this and asks for a thousand tickets, which he needs $2,000 for. “SpongeCock, can I have your credit card?” he says, since he doesn’t have enough money at the moment. SpongeCock has a deadpan expression, but Fatrick keeps telling him that he really needs his credit card. “Fine, but I warned you” SpongeCock says, handing Fatrick his credit card. “Oh boy! I’m gonna get more ice cream cake!” Fatrick exclaims. A title card is shown which says “One Month Later.” The episode cuts back to SpongeCock and Fatrick scratching off the last ticket. “Oh, I hope this one is the lucky one,” says Fatrick. He scratches off three dollar signs. “Damn, I didn’t win.” Fatrick sighs, and the throws the ticket in the trash. “Fatrick! You dumbass! That was a winner!” SpongeCock screams, as he digs it out of the trash. “Really? Cool!” Fatrick exclaims.

SpongeCock tells Fatrick not to spend all his money at once. “Alright, ya little frick. I’m gonna buy me the world’s biggest ice cream cake!” and runs off. SpongeCock gets furious, but Fatrick is already out. After about 8 hours, Fatrick comes back with a bunch of ice cream cakes. He bought so much that he can’t even fit it into the house. “Fatrick…..how much did you spend on that?” SpongCock asks. Fatrick says he spent $2,000,000 on it and shows more ice cream cakes outside. “Fatrick……” SpongeCock starts raging, but Fatrick goes out to buy more stuff. A time card comes up and shows “A Lot of Wasted Money Later” and Fatrick is shown buying a mansion. “Well, you see SpongeCock, I ran out of space to put my ice cream cakes. So I bought a $5,000,000 mansion” Fatrick states, showing that he still has a lot of money left. However, SpongeCock goes away and ignores him.

A short montage is shown where Fatrick is becoming an even bigger jerk. At the end of the montage, SpongeCock comes over to Fatrick’s rock, and asks if they could go jellyfishing. Fatrick then replies, “Why would I spend my time with a hobo like you?” SpongeCock becomes furious, screaming at Fatrick. “If it wasn’t for me, you would have thrown the damn ticket in the garbage!” “That’s it, I’m going to Shitward’s.” SpongeCock then goes to Shitward’s house. “What do you want?” Shitward asks. “I need to get revenge on Fatrick for being a dick to me.” “I think I have the perfect plan.” Shitward says deviously.

The next day, Fatrick wakes up with the last of his money. “Hmm….I wonder what I should spend my last $100,000…...I know! I’ll buy a new sewer! No, I already did that.” He then looks over to see that he is covered in the green shit that was leftover from when Assy Cheeks and Sheldon D. Bastard dumped some all over the Krusty Kock bathrooms. “Oh no! My money is covered in green shit!” Fatrick screamed as SpongeCock and Shitward laugh, and the episode ends.

Trivia

 * This is the first episode to feature as a writer.
 * Fatrick says “Hmm….I wonder what I should spend my last $100,000…...I know! I’ll buy a new sewer! No, I already did that.” This is a reference to "Fatshit."
 * When Fatrick is covered in green shit, it is a reference to "The Shit's Always Greener".
 * According to wordcounter.net, the plot is:
 * 848 words.
 * 4,727 characters.
 * 36 sentences.
 * 13 paragraphs.
 * 11th-12th grade reading level.
 * 3 minutes, 5 seconds reading time.
 * 4 minutes, 43 seconds speaking time.
 * "Fatrick" is used more than any other word.