Fruit Burger

Plot
Mr. Krabs turns the Krabby Patty to a healthier fruit burger to keep food critics from making bad comments about the Krabby Patty. But will everybody like them?

Characters

 * SpongeBob
 * Patrick
 * Mr. Krabs
 * Krusty Krab Customers
 * Harold
 * Tom
 * Fred
 * Martha
 * Nancy Suzy Fish
 * Lenny (cameo)
 * Squidward (minor role)
 * Food Critics
 * Food Critic Sanderson
 * Food Critic Craner
 * Food Critic Jamison
 * Plankton

Transcript

 * [We see Mr. Krabs in his office counting his money]


 * Mr. Krabs: 435627162, 435627163, 435627164-


 * [An angry food critic bursts in]


 * Food Critic: EUGENE KRABS!


 * [We cut to the kitchen]


 * SpongeBob: EUGENE KRABS?


 * [We cut to the eating area]


 * Fish: EUGENE KRABS?


 * [We cut back to the office]


 * Mr. Krabs: I'LL SHOOT YA BEFORE YOU TAKE MY MONEY!


 * Food Critic: NOT IF I SHOOT YOU FIRST!


 * Will Ferrell: Well...that escalated quickly.


 * Mr. Krabs: How can you breathe underwater?


 * Will Ferrell: LOGIC


 * [Will Ferrell implodes]


 * Food Critic: ...I have no words.


 * Mr. Krabs: YOU'LL NEVER TAKE MY MONEY!


 * [Squidward runs into the office]


 * Squidward: TAKE IT, PLEASE! RUN HIM OUT OF BUSINESS!


 * Mr. Krabs: SQUIDWARD, I'M GONNA SHOOT YOU!


 * Will Ferrell: Well...that escalated quickly.


 * Mr. Krabs: I thought you imploded!


 * Will Ferrell: LOGIC


 * [Will Ferrell explodes again]


 * Food Critic: EUGENE KRABS, YOU ARE LIABLE TO THESE CHARGES!


 * Mr. Krabs: Do I have to pay any money?


 * Food Critic: No-


 * Mr. Krabs: YAAAY! Okay, what do I have to do?


 * Food Critic: You have to change the Krabby Patty formula!


 * [We cut to the kitchen]


 * SpongeBob: *gasp*


 * [We cut to the eating area]


 * Fred: *gasp*


 * [We cut back to the office]


 * Mr. Krabs: Why would I do that?


 * Food Critic: First off, I have gotten complaints that the burger is unhealthy.


 * Mr. Krabs: What? The guy across the street sells CHUM! That poisons people!


 * Food Critic: THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!


 * Nancy: THIS RESTAURANT HAS TOO MUCH GENDER DISCRIMINATION!


 * Food Critic: feminism


 * Nancy: Okay. I'm fine.


 * Mr. Krabs: The wonders of words!


 * Food Critic: TASTE THESE WORDS! MAKE YOUR BURGER HEALTHY, OR YOU WILL PAY MONEY!


 * Mr. Krabs: NOOOOOO!


 * R.E.M. IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD AS WE KNOW IT!


 * [We cut to Squidward]


 * Squidward: And I feel fine.


 * [We cut back to the office]


 * Mr. Krabs: CHANGE IT IN 3 DAYS OR PAY!


 * [Timecard: 3 days later...]


 * Mr. Krabs: Welp, formula is changed.


 * SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, I don't know about this-


 * Mr. Krabs: MAKE FRUIT PATTIES OR I'LL SHOOT YOU!


 * Will Ferrell: Well...that escalated quickly.


 * Mr. Krabs: Can you go away for real this time?


 * [Will Ferrell implodes]


 * SpongeBob: *sigh* It just doesntt seem right.


 * [We cut to the office]


 * Mr. Krabs: *gulp* What if SpongeBob is right? Maybe it is a bad idea!


 * [We cut to the eating area]


 * Harold: HEY! THIS THING TASTES AWFUL! WHY IS THERE A BUNCH OF FRUIT ALL OVER THE BURGER?


 * Tom: Yeah, I don't like it.


 * Mr. Horse: No sir, I don't like it.


 * Martha: LET'S LEAVE!


 * [A bunch of customers run out the door]


 * Will Ferrell: Well...that escalated quickly.


 * Mr. Krabs: I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO GO AWAY!


 * Old Man Jenkins: YOU DARN KIDS AND THEIR FLYING MACHINES!


 * SpongeBob: OLD PEOPLE RANTS!


 * Mr. Krabs: Who ya callin old?


 * Patrick: Who you calling pinhead?


 * Will Ferrell: Well...that escalated quickly.


 * Mr. Krabs: EVERYONE GO!


 * [Everybody except Mr. Krabs, Squidward and SpongeBob implode]


 * Mr. Krabs: THAT'S IT! I'M CHANGING THE FORMULA BACK!


 * [Food Critic walks in]


 * Food Critic: Eugene Krabs, on behalf of changing the formula back, I now fine you-


 * Mr. Krabs: NO YOU DON'T!


 * [Mr. Krabs shoots the Food Critic]


 * Squidward:..did you just KILL A FOOD CRITIC?


 * Mr. Krabs: Well, the moral of the story is that if you don't get things the way you want, shoot people!


 * SpongeBob: That's a pretty deranged moral.


 * Mr. Krabs: SHUT UP OR I'M GONNA SHOOT YOU!


 * Will Ferrell: Well...that escalated quickly.


 * Mr. Krabs: THAT'S THE LAST TIME!


 * [Mr. Krabs shoots Will Ferrell]


 * Squidward: You need help, Krabs.


 * THE END