Patty Comes to Town

Characters
Nat Peterson Sadie Rechid Patty Rechid (debut) Fred

Transcript
(Scene cuts to Sadie sitting at a table in a restaurant)

Sadie(looks at her watch): "Where is she? She told me she'd be here by now." Patty Rechid walks into the restaurant and over to Sadie.

Patty: "Sorry I'm late, I just had to sell a house for a million dollars. So how's my middle sister doing?"

Sadie: "Great, it's nice to see you again after so long."

Patty: "I know, I wish we could see each other more often! So how's it going with Frank?"

Sadie: "I divorced Frank a few years ago."

Patty: "Oh, really? Why? You just didn't love him anymore?"

Sadie: "No, Frank's a great guy, but he just wasn't doing it for me. I'm married to Fred now, not because he's really attractive, but because he..."

Patty: "Has a lot of money! Oh, Sadie, you're such a Rechid!"

Sadie(laughs): "Thanks."

Patty: "So, are you still working as a nurse?"

Sadie: "No, I stopped doing that a few months ago. I own a desert shop now."

Patty: "Oh, really? Well that's great! If I ever quit being a real a state agent, I probably open a desert store too!" Sadie laughs.

(Scene cuts to Nat walking into the restaurant)

Patty: "Who is that?"

Sadie: "That's Nat Peterson, he works with me at my desert shop."

Patty: "Oh, he's so handsome. Is he married?"

Sadie: "No, him and Shubie divorced a few years ago."

Patty: "Shubie was married to him? I can't believe she let him go! You have to be cheating on Fred with him, aren't you?"

Sadie: "No, but I'm trying too."

Patty: "Well if he's not getting with you then let me try to get him to go out with me." Patty gets up and walk over towards Nat.

Sadie: "Patty going out with Nat? In her dreams! I've been trying to go out with Nat for years! There's no way Nat will date her!" Patty walks back over to the table.

Sadie: "So, how was your chat with Nat?"

Patty: "Guess who has a date with him tomorrow?"

Sadie: "What?! How did you get him to go out with you?"

Patty: "I just asked him if he wanted to go to ice skating tomorrow, and he said yes!" Sadie's eye starts twitching.

Sadie(smiles angrily): "Oh, I'm so happy for you!"

Patty: "Thanks!"

Sadie(murmurs): "And I'll be even happier when I completely sabotage it!"

Patty: "What?"

Sadie: "I was just saying that.. you two are meant for each other!"

(Scene cuts to Sadie at the ice rink) Patty and Nat walk into the rink.

Sadie: "There they are!" Sadie puts a scarf over her face and skates behind Patty and Nat.

Sadie: "Alright, time to ruin their date!" Sadie is about to push Nat, but stops.

Sadie: "Oh, I can't hurt Nat, but I can hurt Patty." Sadie bumps into Patty causing her to fall onto the ground.

Nat: "Patty! Are you okay?"

Patty: "I can't get up! I hurt my leg!"

Nat: "It's alright, I've got you." Nat picks up Patty and carries her of the ice.

Patty: "Oh, Nat, thanks so much!"

Nat: "No problem."

Sadie: "Dang it!"

(Scene cuts to Sadie eating at the Krusty Krab) Nat and Patty walk in.

Sadie: "Oh no, they're still dating?! Time to ruin this once and for all." Sadie takes the ketchup bottle off of Nat and Patty's table and empties all of the ketchup before putting it back. Nat and Patty sit down. Patty tries to put ketchup onto her burger.

Patty: "Oh, there's nothing in here! I'm just going to get some ketchup." Patty gets up and gets some ketchup for her patty. Sadie squirts some tarter sauce onto the floor. Patty walks back towards the table and slips on the tarter sauce.

Patty: "Woah!" Patty's Krabby Patty goes flying out of her hand and hits Nat.

Patty: "Oh my gosh! Nat, I'm so... Ha ha!"

Nat: "What?"

Patty: "The ketchup from my burger made a smiley face on your face!" Nat laughs and throws his patty at Patty who laughs too.

Sadie: "Darn it!" Sadie gets up and begins to walk away.

Patty: "Oh, Sadie, I didn't know that you were here. Nat and I were just wondering before if you and Fred wanted to go bowling with us tonight."

Sadie: "Sure, that would be great!" Sadie walks away.

Sadie: "When Nat sees that I'm a way better bowler than Patty, he'll definitely dump her for me!"

(Scene cuts to Sadie, Patty, Nat and Fred at the bowling alley)

Fred: "What do you want the teams to be?"

Sadie: "How about me and Nat against Patty and Fred?"

Patty: "Why don't we just do Nat and I against Fred and Sadie?"

Nat: "Yeah, I think those teams would be better." Sadie sighs angrily.

(Scene cuts to Nat and Patty crushing Sadie and Fred during the game) Nat high fives Patty.

Nat: "Wow, Patty I never knew you were such a good bowler!"

Patty: "Yeah, I started playing a few months ago as a hobby. It's too bad I only hit nine pins on my last try or I would've had a perfect game." Sadie angrily throws her ball, which hits Fred.

Fred: "My leg!"

(Scene cuts to Sadie walking her snail in a park)

Sadie: "Ugh, this is so boring!" Sadie sits down on a bench and begins to read a newspaper. Sadie snails starts tugging on its leash.

Sadie: "Stop tugging on your leash! Stupid snail!" The snail keeps tugging on the leash and gets out of its leash.

Sadie: "Well, I guess that stupid creature finally got tired." Sadie looks at the leash and realizes that her snail's not there.

Sadie: "Oh no! My snail!" Sadie sees the snail walking away and chases after it. Sadie finally catches up to it when it walks into a bush to get shade.

Sadie: "Don't ever run away from me again!"

Patty(in the distance): "Oh, Nat, you're so funny!"

Sadie: "Is that Patty?" Sadie moves some of the leaves in the bush and sees Patty and Nat sitting on a bench.

Sadie: "I can't believe this! I should be sitting on that bench with Nat! Patty always ruins everything for me! My whole life Patty's been better than me! She always got better grades! She was a little more popular than me in high school too! And she was always better at sports than I was! She always made more money as the top real a state agent in Bikini Bottom than I ever did as a nurse! And now she's trying to take my future husband away from me?! Well not anymore!"

(Scene cuts to Patty and Nat going to kiss each other)

Sadie(jumps out of the bush): "Nooooo!" Nat and Patty stop and look at Sadie strangely.

Sadie: "Uh, stop biting my shirt! Stupid snail!"

Nat: "Alright well, see you later tonight Patty." Nat gets up and walks away.

Patty: "Sadie! Nat and I were just about to kiss!"

Sadie: "Oh, really? I'm so sorry! And for my apology, why don't I take you to my favorite restaurant tonight?"

Patty: "Really? That would be great!"

(Scene cuts to Patty walking into the Chum Bucket) Patty looks around.

Patty: "Is this really Sadie's favorite restaurant? Boy, the food must be really good here."

Sadie(waves): "Patty! Come over here!" Patty sits at a table with Sadie, and picks up a menu.

Patty: "Let's see, what do you think I should get here?"

Sadie(takes Patty's menu): "Oh, don't worry, I already ordered my favorite for us."

Patty: "Oh, okay." Sadie gets a plate full of chum sticks.

Sadie: "Oh, I can feel my stomach growling already!" Patty smells the food.

Patty: "Are you sure this is fresh? It smells kind of funny."

Sadie: "Oh, they always smell bad. They're one of those foods that smell a little weird, but taste amazing!"

Patty: "Oh, ok." Sadie takes a chum stick and pretends to eat it.

Sadie: "Delicious!" Patty picks up a chum stick and takes a bite out of it.

Sadie: "So, do you like it?"

Patty(swallows): "Uh, oh yeah it's delicious!" Patty gags.

Sadie: "Well come on, then! I'm not going to be able to finish all twenty of these myself!" Sadie takes out another tray.

Patty: "Twenty?!"

Sadie: "Is that a problem? I thought you said you loved these." Sadie sadly puts the tray down.

Patty: "Oh yeah, they're amazing!"

Sadie: "Great!" Sadie pretends to eat a few chum sticks while Patty forces herself to eat the rest.

Sadie: "Wasn't that great? I could eat a hundred of these!"

Patty: "Oh yeah, that was a lovely meal. (Gags) I'm so glad you showed me this fantastic restaurant!"

Sadie: "Oh, no problem! I'd do anything for my older sister!"

Patty(looks at her watch): "Well I'd better get going, I don't want to be late for the movie I'm seeing with Nat tonight."

Sadie: "Have fun!"

(Scene cuts to Patty sitting very uncomfortably at the movie theater)

Patty: "Oh, where's Nat?" Patty's stomach rumbles.

Patty: "I can't hold it anymore!" Patty runs into the bathroom. Sadie emerges from behind the door. Sadie closes the door and locks it.

Sadie: "Well it looks like the real Patty won't be able to go to the movies tonight..." Sadie paints herself purple and puts on a green sweater over her shirt.

Sadie: "But this Patty will!" Nat walks into the movie theater and sits down. The movie starts playing.

Sadie(looks at her watch): "The movie's starting already?" Sadie runs down the aisle and sits next to Nat.

Sadie: "Sorry I'm late Nat."

Nat: "It's okay, Patty."

Sadie: "Patty?! My name's not... I mean, yeah! That's me! Patty Rechid!" Sadie looks at the screen.

Sadie(sighs): "I've already seen this movie."

Nat: "What? I thought you said that you were really excited to see this movie for the first time."

Sadie: "Uh... Oh yeah! Sorry, I was just getting this movie confused with another one with the same actors in it." Nat gets some popcorn out of his bag and Sadie pretends to get some at the same time so their hands touch.

Nat: "Ah! Why is your hand so sticky?" Nat smells the paint on his hand.

Nat: "Is this paint?"

Sadie: "No! It's probably just butter. The stupid guy at the convenience stand must've put to much in."

(Scene cuts to Patty getting out of a stall in the bathroom) Patty tries to open the door but can't.

Patty: "Darn it! The doors locked! How am I going to get out of here?" Patty looks around and sees an open window over the trash can.

Patty: "Well you know what they say, desperate times call for desperate measures." Patty begins to climb the trash can.

(Scene cuts to the movie where a pregnant lady is giving birth in a hospital)

Sadie: "Ah, this reminds me of giving birth to my first child."

Nat: "What? You have kids?"

Sadie: "I meant to say this reminds me of my sister, Sadie, when she gave birth to her first child."

(Scene cuts to Patty walking down the aisle)

Patty: "Sorry I'm late Nat. You won't believe what happened to me while I was in the bathroom." Patty sees Sadie.

Patty: "Who is this?!"

Sadie: "How did you get out? I mean, who are you? And why are you impersonating me?"

Nat: "What's going on? How can I tell who's the real Patty?"

Patty(points at Sadie's sweater): "We're wearing different shirts! We're even wearing different watches!" Patty points at her watch and then at Sadie's.

Patty: "Why are you impersonating me?!"

People in the theater: "Shhh...."

Patty: "We'd better take this outside." Patty grabs Sadie and leads her toward the exit.

Patty: "You're not coming, dear?"

Nat: "No, this movie's way too good to miss!" Patty and Sadie leave the theater and walk into the lobby. Patty pushes Sadie against a wall.

Patty: "Who are you?" Patty looks at Sadie's watch.

Patty: "Wait a minute, I recognize that watch. It's... Sadie! Oh my gosh, Sadie! I'm so sorry!"

Sadie: "What?!"

Patty: "I never knew you like Nat liked that! I thought you just wanted to cheat on Fred for a little while and then end it."

Sadie: "Oh no, Patty, it's all my fault you see I've been trying to break you and Nat up all week because I've always been jealous of you and your perfect life."

Patty: "Really? Because this whole time I've been jealous of your life. Being so successful as a real a state agent leaves me no time to do the things that I want to do. I've never had time to settle down and relax. You get to do that all the time, you've been married twice and still have the time to try and get another man in your life! I want to be able to do that too. I really like Nat, but I probably would've had to let him go anyway once I go back to work."

Sadie: "Aw, I never knew how much you cared about me! You're the best older sister ever!" Sadie and Patty hug.

Patty: "And you're the best middle sister."

(Scene ends)