Action Cats

Action Cats is the seventh episode of the first season of SpongeBob & Sagwa. In this episode, SpongeBob wants to join the Action Cats, a private club run by Dongwa. However, Dongwa and the Alley Cats put him through "tests" before he will ever get into the club. This episode is closely similar to the SpongeBob episode "I'm Your Biggest Fanatic" and the Sagwa episode "Explorer's Club".

Transcript
(The episode opens with SpongeBob walking around the hills while the walk cycle music from "The Sponge Who Could Fly" plays in the background. He does this for the first 20 seconds of the episode before stopping his walk cycles and pauses to himself for a minute.)

SpongeBob: Wait a minute, this is unnecessary. I've done this before. (makes a reference to "The Sponge Who Could Fly") Don't want to repeat the walk cycle incident all over again. I'll just run instead. (starts running) I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready...

(The episode pans to SpongeBob stopping in his tracks to see Sagwa, Dongwa, Sheegwa, Fu-Fu and the Alley Cats far away in his sight down near a pond.)

SpongeBob: Oooh, Sagwa and her friends must be doing something fun. I wonder what it is. (runs over to them)

(Down at the pond, we see Dongwa and the Alley Cats making Sagwa and Sheegwa balance on a rock with one paw.)

Sheegwa: Whoa, whoa, guys, this is hard!

Dongwa: Sheegwa, quit your pouting and just keep trying!

Sagwa: You can do it, Sheegwa. You just got to... whoa... keep a steady balance and... whoa, whoa...

Sheegwa: (sigh)

(Suddenly, a bee flies around Sheegwa, which makes her start to panic.)

Sheegwa: B... b... b...

Sagwa: Sheegwa, what's wrong?

Sheegwa: BEE!!!

Sagwa: A bee?!

(Sagwa and Sheegwa panic and fall into the water as the bee flies away. They get up from the water, soaking wet.)

Lik Lik: Ha ha ha, you two got scared of a harmless little bumblebee!

Fu-Fu: But at least you two tried your best.

SpongeBob: (from a distance) I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready...

Sagwa: Oh, look! Here comes SpongeBob!

SpongeBob: Hey, guys, what's going on?

Sagwa, Sheegwa & Fu-Fu: Hi, SpongeBob!

Sagwa: We're practicing how to improve our balance.

SpongeBob: Oh, what for? Is there a talent show coming up?

Sagwa: No, Dongwa will tell you.

Dongwa: We're teaching better balance as a daily exercise test for my new club.

SpongeBob: Club? What kind of club?

Jet Jet: The kind of club where only the bravest, the strongest and the most mature get to embark on daring adventures with us. We call our club...

Dongwa & Alley Cats: The Action Cats!

SpongeBob: The Action Cats? That sounds like a cool name!

Lik Lik: Yep, you're darn right that it's cool. Don't wear it out.

SpongeBob: Ooh, being part of this club sounds exciting! Can I join? Can I? Can I? Please?

Dongwa: Sorry, SpongeBob, but you can't join.

SpongeBob: What? Why not?

Dongwa: Well, how do we put this correctly? You are too naive...

SpongeBob: Huh?

Lik Lik: You're kind of a nuisance to others...

SpongeBob: What?

Jet Jet: And you're afraid of even the most harmless things...

Dongwa: (pointing a butterfly flying near SpongeBob) Like that butterfly right there.

(SpongeBob pauses to see the butterfly land on his nose as he shivers in fear. The episode makes a reference to "Wormy" as a butterfly close-up appears, not live-action but animated.)

SpongeBob: (panicking) AAAAAHHH, MONSTER!!! (falls into the pond as the butterfly flies away)

(Dongwa and the Alley Cats laugh at SpongeBob.)

Dongwa: Ha ha ha, see what I mean? You're scared of a butterfly! It's so funny, because it's stupid.

Sagwa: Dongwa, will you cut it out?! You're tormenting him!

Sheegwa: Yeah, shame on you guys!

SpongeBob: No, no, it's okay. No offense taken.

Dongwa: Sorry, SpongeBob, but I rest my case. You're just not mature enough to join the Action Cats.

SpongeBob: Oh, really? Then how come Sagwa, Fu-Fu and Sheegwa are in your club?

Dongwa: Huh?

SpongeBob: You usually don't let them in your clubs, Dongwa. So why are they in this one? Also, Fu-Fu's a bat, not a cat.

Wing Wing: Alright, alright, don't get too literal with us, Smarty-Pants!

Dongwa: Sagwa, Fu-Fu and Sheegwa being part of the Action Cats is none of your concern, SpongeBob.

Sagwa: Dongwa, he does have a point about you allowing me, Sheegwa and Fu-Fu into your club.

Dongwa: Stay out of this, Sagwa.

SpongeBob: (frustrated) Okay, you know what? Go ahead and laugh for all I care! Who'd want to be part of your dumb club anyway?!

(The Alley Cats laugh as SpongeBob walks away in anger.)

Sagwa: Now look what you did, Dongwa! You made SpongeBob angry. All he wanted was an opportunity to take part in your club and you blew it for him! You blew it!

Dongwa: So what?

Sagwa: Please, Dongwa. Just let SpongeBob have some fun, it's what he really loves to do.

Sheegwa: Yeah, get SpongeBob to join, get SpongeBob to join!

Fu-Fu: Besides, it wouldn't hurt to recruit one more member.

Dongwa: (sighs reluctantly) Okay, fine. We'll go tell SpongeBob he can join. Let's go.

Sagwa, Sheegwa & Fu-Fu: Yeah!

(The episode pans to SpongeBob sitting in the palace garden.)

SpongeBob: Stupid Dongwa. I don't need a club as my only way of having fun. Besides, I've got plenty of other fun things to do without those so-called "Action Cats". I could always... uh, no I've done that so many times. Oh I know, maybe I could, um... oh, it's all too obvious. What can I do that I've never done at all before?

Dongwa: SpongeBob.

(Dongwa arrives with his club.)

SpongeBob: (unpleasantly) Oh, hi Dongwa. What do you want?

Dongwa: I've been thinking about everything I've said to you back at the pond and I owe you an apology.

SpongeBob: Huh?

Dongwa: So to give you another chance... (gulps) you can be a member of my club.

SpongeBob: (gasps) Really?!

Dongwa: Yes, really.

(SpongeBob jumps high in the air with excitement.)

SpongeBob: Woo-hoo! Ba ha ha ha ha ha ha, I can't wait to get started! So what're we going to do first?! Climb to the top of the highest peaks in China? Battle ferocious creatures lurking in the wild? Hop across the world's biggest gap?

Dongwa: Whoa, whoa, whoa! Calm yourself, SpongeBob. You're not an official Action Cat yet. First, you must pass a few tests before you're deemed worthy enough to become one.

SpongeBob: Oh. Okay then, so what's the first test?

Dongwa: Come this way.

(SpongeBob follows the Action Cats outside of the palace. The episode pans to the gang inside of the village.)

Dongwa: Okay, first, we're going to start off with something really basic: climbing. (points to some crates that are piled to create a path up to the rooftops) You see those piled-up crates over there?

SpongeBob: Yeah, uh-huh.

Dongwa: We want you to hop up those crates right up onto the rooftops without falling off.

SpongeBob: Alright. (walks over to the crates) Don't worry, (cracks his knuckles) this'll be a cinch!

(SpongeBob jumps one crate high, then hops to the next crate.)

SpongeBob: So far, so good. Ooh, I feel like an Action Cat already!

(SpongeBob hops to the next pile of crates, but he jumps near the edge and barely loses his balance.)

SpongeBob: Whoa, whoa!

Sagwa: Keep trying, SpongeBob!

Dongwa: You're doing really good!

SpongeBob: Thanks, I appreciate the encouragement!

(When SpongeBob reaches the last pile of crates before the rooftops, he grabs onto the ledge and pulls himself up, then he hops onto the rooftops.)

SpongeBob: Hey guys, check it out! I made it!

Dongwa: Good enough, though your balance could use a little more work.

SpongeBob: (jumps down from the rooftop, lands on his back) Ouch. (gets up and walks to the cats) So what's the next test?

(The episode pans to Dongwa assigning SpongeBob the next test.)

Dongwa: Alright, this next test involves emotion. We want to see if you can handle being mocked by other people without shedding a single tear.

SpongeBob: How do I do that?

Dongwa: It's like a challenge. (takes out a red folded suit) Here, put this costume on. It's one of the keys to conquering this test.

SpongeBob: Where did you get this?

Dongwa: Uh... that, I don't really need to tell you. So yeah, put the suit on.

SpongeBob: Okay.

(SpongeBob puts the red costume on and zips it up from the back. His costume is revealed to resemble Po from Teletubbies.)

SpongeBob: How do I look?

Lik Lik: Ha ha, you look completely idiotic with that costume on, cheese block.

(The Alley Cats, except Hun Hun, laugh at SpongeBob, until Dongwa tells them to be quiet.)

Dongwa: Shhh, quiet. (to SpongeBob) Now then, go out to the street and don't do anything until someone decides to pick on you.

SpongeBob: I'm on it! (walks to the street)

Sagwa: Are you sure that SpongeBob is able to handle this, Dongwa? Because he's very sensitive.

Dongwa: Relax, Sagwa. He'll do fine.

(The cats peek their heads out to see SpongeBob standing by in the street while doing nothing. Nobody's attention was caught yet.)

SpongeBob: Dongwa, I don't think it's working. No one's taking notice.

Dongwa: Looking stupid doesn't seem to be enough. Try acting stupid!

SpongeBob: Got it!

(SpongeBob's eyes face opposite directions while he sticks his tongue out, similarly like Stimpy from The Ren & Stimpy Show and Billy from The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy. He also begins saying random absurd quotes.)

SpongeBob: I ate soggy cereal for breakfast this morning.

(Dongwa and the Alley Cats laugh from seeing SpongeBob act dumb.)

SpongeBob: How do you sit down again? I forgot. Doyeee! (looks at the citizens, nothing has happened) Oh, saying stupid quotes is not enough. I got it, I'll try making stupid noises instead.

(SpongeBob lets out a loud, disruptive and strange noise to try to gain attention from the villagers. One of the villagers covers his ears.)

Villager: Good heavens, what's with the obnoxious yowling?!

SpongeBob: That was me, sir. I made that noise.

Villager: (looks down at SpongeBob) You should know better than to make such noises, young citizen! Show some respect around here!

SpongeBob: Sorry!

(The villager walks away, then the cats walk over to SpongeBob.)

Sheegwa: Wow, not a single villager was a meanie to you, SpongeBob.

Hun Hun: But you did get attention from the villager who was irritated by that noise you made.

Dongwa: Let's skip this test and move on to the next one. Take that costume off and follow me.

(The episode pans to the gang down near a creek. SpongeBob is seen no longer wearing his Po costume.)

Dongwa: For this test, we're going to teach you how to conquer your worst fear. So you're afraid of drowning, right?

SpongeBob: Yeah. Truth be told, I can't swim.

Dongwa: Alright, all you have to do is stand on that log. (shows a log staying still on the creek) While you're doing that, try keeping your balance and don't fall into the water.

SpongeBob: I don't see how that's going to help me man up.

Dongwa: It's to help you be more brave while you're crossing water.

SpongeBob: Oh, I get it now. I won't displease you, Dongwa!

Sagwa: Careful, SpongeBob!

(SpongeBob balances on the log in the creek while staring down at the water, trying not to freak out.)

SpongeBob: Oh boy... oohhhh boy...

Sheegwa: You can do it, SpongeBob, you can do it! I believe in you!

SpongeBob: (panting) Not panicking, not panicking, not panicking...

Dongwa: Don't continue staring at the water, that won't help!

(SpongeBob takes his eyes off the water and looks straight.)

SpongeBob: I'm doing it, guys! I can do this! I just got to...

(Suddenly, the log starts budging. SpongeBob panics as he runs in place on the log, causing it to roll.)

Sagwa: Oh, this isn't good.

(SpongeBob continues rolling the log until he crashes into a branch sticking out of the creek and falls into the water. The cats run over to see what happened.)

Dongwa: Oh no, what have I done?

(SpongeBob pops out from under the water, not drowning ironically.)

SpongeBob: It's okay, guys. I'm a sea creature, I can handle water! It's Goo Lagoon back in my home world that concerns me in terms of drowning.

(The Action Cats sigh in relief.)

Dongwa: Okay, at least you didn't get hurt. Let's go somewhere else for the next test.

(The episode pans to the gang up in the mountains.)

Dongwa: Now pay close attention. This is where the juicy stuff comes in. We're going to teach you how to defend yourself. It's one of the key skills to master in order to be proclaimed an Action Cat.

SpongeBob: Oh, please, Dongwa. I know all about karate. Self-defense will be too easy for me.

Dongwa: Well then, prove it. Let's see how good you are against me and my tai chi.

SpongeBob: Oh, it's on! Who will emerge triumphant? You and your tai chi or me and my kah-rah-tay?

Dongwa: (stands up on his hind legs) Show me what you got!

(SpongeBob and Dongwa battle each other as the other Action Cats sit by and watch. Sagwa, Fu-Fu and Sheegwa watch with worry.)

Fu-Fu: Oh geez, I'm getting kind of anxious now.

Sagwa: You do have a point, Fu-Fu.

(The shot goes back to Dongwa and SpongeBob still battling, until Dongwa karate chops one of SpongeBob's legs so hard that SpongeBob yells out in pain and falls to the ground.)

SpongeBob: Ooooh... my leg... it hurts... pins and needles...

Dongwa: Whoops, guess I didn't know my own strength that time.

Sagwa: Are you okay, SpongeBob?

SpongeBob: Don't worry, guys. It's just pain. It'll go away soon. (attempts to get up, but a bone cracking can be heard) Oooowwww... okay, there goes my femur... (another bone cracks) oooh, and my kneecap.

(Everyone looks at SpongeBob awkwardly.)

SpongeBob: I take it back, guys. I'm not okay.

Dongwa: Oh no, I think I've really gone too far...

(The episode pans to nighttime, where everyone is sleeping. We see SpongeBob sitting on a rock with a cast on his leg.)

SpongeBob: (weakly) Being with the Action Cats sure is fun...

(SpongeBob lies down on the ground and attempts to fall asleep, but the pain in his leg continues bothering him.)

SpongeBob: Oh, who am I kidding? I knew I should've listened to Dongwa when he first said I wasn't fit enough to join the club. I guess I'm going to have to tell him tomorrow morning.

(SpongeBob falls asleep as his leg pain settles. Meanwhile, the camera zooms out to see a view from the peak of the mountain the gang is on. We see a giant shadowy creature crawling down from the peak. The creature reveals itself as a giant spider, which appears as a live-action crudely designed spider puppet with strings implemented in the animation with chroma key effects. The spider watches the sleeping gang from above.)

Giant Spider: Oh-ho-ho, looks like I found myself a light snack. I could just swoop down and capture them while they slumber. (yawns) But I'm too tired myself to do so. I guess I'll attack tomorrow morning.

(The spider crawls back up to the peak and goes to sleep. The episode pans to morning as SpongeBob is seen waking up and pouring a leaf topped with water on him to clean himself. The Action Cats wake up as well.)

Dongwa: (yawns) Good morning, everyone. How's SpongeBob doing?

(Dongwa looks at SpongeBob, only to see him look sleep-deprived.)

Dongwa: Oh. Not enough sleep.

Sagwa: Dongwa, it's obviously you that's to blame. SpongeBob's done all of your tests and none of them worked. I mean look at him! He's exhausted!

Hun Hun: Yeah, he looks like he's been through too much.

Lik Lik: Come to think of it, I'm actually starting to feel sorry for him.

Jet Jet: Me, too.

Wing Wing: Me, three.

Dongwa: (sigh) You guys are right. Maybe I should go apologize to him. (goes over to SpongeBob) SpongeBob, I've been thinking about everything I put you through and... I just want to say I'm... I'm, uhh...

SpongeBob: No, Dongwa. There's no need to apologize. I'm the one that should be sorry.

Dongwa: Huh?

SpongeBob: (gulps, then talks to himself) You can do it, SquarePants. Be honest and sincere. (confesses to Dongwa) Okay, Dongwa, I'm going to give it to you straight! I... I... I don't want to be an Action Cat anymore! I just can't stand the tests! (bursts into tears as he rips his nose from his face) THEY'RE TEARING ME APART!!! (sobs) There, I said it! From the beginning, you were right. I'm just not strong, brave or mature enough to be part of your club. Please, Dongwa, this isn't easy! Volunteering to be an Action Cat was one of the worst mistakes I've ever made! (sobs)

Dongwa: No, SpongeBob. It's my fault.

SpongeBob: (tearfully) What?

Dongwa: I'm the one responsible for all of the trouble I put you through. Ever since yesterday when I accidentally broke your leg, I started to realize that I was the bad guy. I'm sorry for everything I've done to you.

SpongeBob: It's okay. We make mistakes all the time, even the most regrettable ones.

Dongwa: True.

Sagwa: Well I guess we should be heading back. My parents will be worried.

Dongwa: You're right, let's go.

(Just as the gang was about to walk home, the voice of the spider from earlier can be heard from above.)

Giant Spider: Oh-ho-ho-ho, and just where do you all think you're going?

SpongeBob: Holy fishpaste! What is that?!

Sagwa: (screams) A GIANT SPIDER!!!

Fu-Fu: A spider?!

Dongwa: Everyone run!

(The gang takes off running and screaming to escape the spider. However, the spider lands right in front of them.)

Sagwa: Oh no, we're in trouble!

Sheegwa: Alright, I know just what to do. (walks to the spider)

SpongeBob: Sheegwa, what're you doing?!

Sheegwa: I remember this story I made up with Dongwa and Sagwa while I was sick one time. All I need to do is sprout pretty wings and defeat this huge, mean spider!

(Sheegwa strains to see if she can grow wings from her back. Nothing happens.)

Sheegwa: Okay, I take it back. The story was fake! (runs away from the spider)

Giant Spider: Uwa-ha-ha-ha-ha, time for my breakfast!

(The gang flees from the spider again, only to fail as the Miaos get caught and tied up. SpongeBob looks back to see them about to be attacked.)

SpongeBob: (gasps) Guys! We got to go back and help!

Jet Jet: No way, man! That spider is big and scary!

SpongeBob: No, I'm serious! It's got Sagwa and her siblings all tied up... AND IT'S GOING TO EAT THEM ALIVE!!!

(The cats stop in their tracks to see what SpongeBob was talking about.)

Hun Hun: Oh no, you're right! What do we do?!

SpongeBob: Don't worry, I'll be the one to stand up and fight.

Wing Wing: What?! But don't you think you've...

SpongeBob: Ah ah ah, I don't want to hear it. My leg is all better now. Right now, I'm willing to take a risk and save my friends.

Lik Lik: We understand. Go!

Fu-Fu: I'm coming with you, SpongeBob. A little assistance should help you defeat that spider faster!

SpongeBob: You're free to join, Fu-Fu! Alright, let's go swat that spider!

(SpongeBob and Fu-Fu take off. The shot goes to the spider carrying the Miaos on its back.)

Sagwa: We're reliving Sheegwa's sick day story all over again!

Sheegwa: Only this time, we're being attacked by a real-life spider... LITERALLY!!!

SpongeBob: Hey, eight-legs!

(The spider stops in its tracks and turns around to notice SpongeBob and Fu-Fu.)

Giant Spider: What?

Fu-Fu: Let our friends go, or things could get ugly!

Giant Spider: Oh-ho-ho, so you dare challenge me to rescue your puny cuddly kitty cat friends?!

SpongeBob: You asked for it! Ready, Fu-Fu?

Fu-Fu: Ready!

(SpongeBob and Fu-Fu charge at the spider and attack it. We see a quick montage of SpongeBob karate chopping the spider on the legs to stun it while Fu-Fu distracts it by swarming all over it and pulling its hair out.)

Giant Spider: Ow, ow, what's going on?!

SpongeBob: HI-YAH!!!

Giant Spider: Ouch!

Fu-Fu: Woo-hoo-hoo! (gets close to the spider's face)

Giant Spider: Ah, a bat! Get it out of my face!

(The spider gets so distracted by what's happening around it that it drops the Miaos from its back, then their tied-up webs disappear to be set free.)

Giant Spider: Eh-heh-heh, okay, stop! I give, I give!

Sagwa: That's right. That's a good spider.

SpongeBob: Oh, and one last thing.

Giant Spider: What?

SpongeBob: (tickling the spider's leg) Kitchy-kitchy-koo!

Giant Spider: Ah ha, ah heh heh heh, stop! I'm ticklish, whoo! Okay, please, that's enough! (laughs so hard that it falls on its back) WHOA, OOF!!! (sighs in frustration)

Dongwa: Whew, that was close. Hey SpongeBob, Fu-Fu, thanks for saving us.

SpongeBob: Don't mention it.

Fu-Fu: Anything for our closest friends!

Sagwa: Let's go tell everyone!

(SpongeBob heads back with his friends to tell the Alley Cats about the whole situation. The episode pans to everyone back near the palace.)

Jet Jet: You know, we got to admit, cheese block. It was noble of you to save our leader and his two little sisters.

SpongeBob: Thanks. Don't forget to give Fu-Fu some credit. He helped me out.

Jet Jet: Oh yeah, and to the bat as well, you were brave, too.

Fu-Fu: I appreciate your compliment!

Dongwa: And to honor your heroic deeds and to take back everything I've said from the beginning, I am officially proclaiming you, SpongeBob, as an Action Cat!

SpongeBob: (gasps) Really?! Oh thank you, Dongwa! It was so generous of you to return the favor!

Dongwa: Alright, so what new adventure do you think we should embark on today?

SpongeBob: Actually, why don't you guys go and do that? All that running around from yesterday and this morning has left me pooped. I'll see you guys later. (walks away) Tell me how your adventure went when I return!

Fu-Fu: What just happened?

Sheegwa: Well that was kind of disappointing...

(The episode closes.)

Trivia

 * The Giant Spider is voiced by Daran Norris, who has also voiced Cosmo and Timmy's Dad from The Fairly Oddparents.