Peterson-Teacher Association

Characters
Shubie Nat Peterson Susie Baby Billy President of the PTA Nancy Suzy Fish Sadie Rechid Mabel Frank Isabel Members of the PTA Whale Woman Gym Teacher (flashback)

Transcript
(Scene cuts to Nat, Shubie, Nancy and Frank having a barbecue at Frank's house) Susie walks over to Nancy and Shubie.

Shubie: "Hi, Susie, how was your day at school?"

Susie: "It was good, I won a prize in a game in friendship class today."

Shubie: "Friendship class? What's that?"

Susie: "It's a new class where we learn how to be friends to others."

Shubie: "What do you even do in friendship class?"

Susie: "We play games, and everyone gets prizes at the end because our teacher says that we're all winners!" Susie walks away.

Shubie: "Friendship class? Can you believe that our kids now take a class about friendship?"

Nancy: "Yeah, it's the new class that we in the parent-teacher association voted for to replace gym."

Shubie: "What? Gym teaches you great life lessons and how to exercise! Friendship class teaches you nothing! Do you know when the next PTA meeting is? Maybe I should go talk to them."

Nancy: "It's tomorrow. Oh, you're coming to support the vote for putting more expensive toilet paper in the bathrooms?"

Shubie: "No, I was going to ask if they could let the kids have gym again."

Nancy: "Oh, I wouldn't waste my time going then if I were you. The members of the PTA thought a lot about this and we realized that gym was just an unfair thing that told kids that others were better than them. You remember playing in gym when you were little don't you?"

(Scene cuts to a flashback of Shubie and Nancy's gym class)

Teacher: "Alright kids, let's play dodgeball!" Mabel gets hit by a dodgeball. Sadie gets hit by a dodgeball. Shubie throws a ball and the flashback ends right before it hits Nancy in the face.

(Scene cuts back to Nancy and Shubie at the barbecue)

Shubie: "But gym taught us so many life lessons when we were kids. And anything's better then this friendship class they have now. What moron thought that that would be a good idea for a class?"

Nancy: "The friendship class was my idea."

Shubie: "Oh, (looks at her watch) well, we'd better get going, wouldn't want Susie and Billy to go to bed too late on a school night. Come on, Susie and Nat, it's time to go! Bye Nancy, have a nice day!" Shubie grabs Baby Billy, Susie and Nat, and walks away.

(Scene cuts to Shubie sitting at the PTA meeting)

President(looks at her watch): "It is now 7:00, and the PTA meeting will begin. Our first order of business is to take a vote on whether or not to put the more expensive brand of toilet paper in the school bathrooms. All who vote yes please raise your hands." Three women raise their hands.

President: "All who vote no please raise your hands." The president and five other women raise their hands.

President: "The vote does not pass."

Mabel: "Oh, come on! How will I be able to wipe my bottom comfortably now?"

President: "Our second order of business is Shelbie Peterson's request to let the students take gym class again."

Shubie: "It's Shubie Peterson."

President: "Oh, sorry. Wait, are you the same Shubie who was named the best softball player in the state in high school?"

Shubie: "Yes."

President: "Wow, I didn't know you still lived here. I played softball for Bikini Bottom too."

Shubie: "Really? What year did you graduate?"

President: "I graduated two years after you. I was a sophomore when you were a senior. Our team was pretty decent after you left, but obviously we weren't as good as your team was when they won back to back state championships."

Shubie: "Thanks."

President: "Oh, no problem. It's always great to talk to another former softball player. Especially one that was as great as you were. Now back to the matter at hand, you may proceed."

Shubie: "Well, I think that our kids should take gym class again, and that it would be way more beneficial to them than this friendship class they take now."

Nancy: "But gym teaches kids that others are better than them, and that can really hurt their self esteem."

Shubie: "Yes, but gym also teaches you valuable life lessons such as how to work as a team, and to never give up."

Nancy: "But it can be very unsafe. What if they get injured during a game?"

Shubie: "Kids can get injured by doing anything. Remember when Isabel accidentally hit herself in the face with a batting helmet when she was taking it out of her bag? Gym taught me very important information that I was able to use later in life. Without it, I don't think I would be the woman I am today."

Nancy: "What are you talking about? You work at a clothing store in the mall, and you're a divorced mother of two who got remarried to the same man! Is anyone really taking her seriously?"

President: "Please refrain from interjecting to Mrs. Peterson's argument, Mrs. Fishbowl. You may continue Mrs. Peterson."

Shubie: "In conclusion, gym is a more productive class for our children to be taking than friendship class due to the fact that it teaches them valuable life lessons and how to become better people in the process."

President: "Thank you, Mrs. Peterson. All who vote no please raise your hand." Nancy raises her hand.

President: "All who vote yes please raise your hand." The president and the other seven women raise their hands.

President: "Shubie Peterson's request to allow the students to take gym class instead of friendship class passes." The parents in the audience clap.

President: "I really like the way you think Mrs. Peterson. How would you like to be a part of the Parent-Teacher Association?"

Shubie: "I'd love too!"

President: "Wonderful! Nancy Fishbowl?"

Nancy: "Yes?"

President: "You have been removed from the Parent-Teacher Association. Welcome aboard Mrs. Peterson!" The parents in the audience clap.

(Scene cuts to the next PTA meeting)

President: "Our first order of business today is the school's budget cuts. The school will either need to cut the music program or the computer program. Everyone who votes to cut the music program please raise your hands." The president and three other women raise their hands.

President: "Everyone who wants to cut to computer program please raise your hands." Four women raise their hands.

President: "What!? A tie? That can't happen. Shubie, why didn't you vote?"

Shubie: "Because I don't want either of them to get cut. I think that we should have a bake sale to raise enough money to keep both programs."

President: "That's a great idea! All in favor of Shubie's idea, please raise your hands." The president and all the other women raise their hands.

President: "The motion passes."

(Scene cuts to the bake sale)

President: "I really have to hand it to you, Shubie, this bake sale was a fantastic success! We've made double the money we needed to keep both the music and computer programs."

Shubie: "Thanks!"

President: "You've made quite on impact on the PTA since you've joined. I'm thinking about making you the PTA's first Vice President!"

Shubie: "Really? Thank you so much!"

President: "No problem, Shubie, you've definitely earned it."

(Scene cuts to a montage of Shubie making really good and successful ideas at a bunch of PTA meetings)

Shubie: "And that's why I propose that we put a new and safer swing set on the school playground."

President: "That's an excellent idea! I don't know how many times my daughter's come home with bruises from playing on that swing set. This meeting has now ended, have a good night ladies." The women get up and begin to leave.

(Scene cuts to Nancy and Sadie in Sadie's backyard) Nancy watches Shubie coming home from the PTA meeting through binoculars.

Nancy: "Look at her. She's probably having so much fun with her PTA friends."

Sadie: "Is this why you asked to come over? To spy on Shubie? Why don't we just invite her over."

Nancy: "Are you crazy? I hate Shubie, and plus, she wouldn't want to talk to us non PTA members. We have to stop this."

Sadie: "Well, what did you have in mind?"

Nancy: "Uh, I don't know. Oh wait! We should get her removed from the PTA during one of the next meetings!" Sadie: "Well, I don't really have anything against Shubie, except for the fact that she stole my husband! I'm in!"

Nancy: "Alright, then let's make the next PTA meeting the worst day of her life."

(Scene cuts to Nancy and Sadie flattening one of Shubie's tires)

Nancy: "She can't get to the meeting if she has a flat tire!" Shubie walks out of her house and Nancy and Sadie run away.

Shubie: "Oh drat, one of my tires is flat. Good thing thus car came with a spare!" Shubie puts in the spare tire and drives away.

Nancy: "Dang it!"

(Scene cuts to the president of the PTA putting a tray of brownies on the table) The president's phone rings.

President: "Hi, honey. I told you I was going to be home late tonight because I have a PTA meeting so I need you to make dinner for the kids." The president walks away, and Nancy and Sadie get up from under the table.

Nancy: "Let's see what happens if we put some spice on Shubie's brownie." Nancy pours some spice on one of the brownies.

Sadie: "How do you know that Shubie will take this brownie?"

Nancy: "Because the president will offer her a brownie before anyone else because she's the Vice President. So she'll definitely just take the one of the top." Nancy and Sadie go back under the table and the president picks up the tray of brownies and sits down next to Shubie.

President: "This PTA meeting has now begun, and I made you all some brownies! Would you like one Shubie?"

Shubie: "Certainly!" Shubie picks up the brownie that Nancy put spice on.

Nancy: "Yes! My plan is working perfectly!" Shubie is about to put the brownie in her mouth, but drops it.

Shubie: "Oh, I'm so sorry!"

President: "No problem, just have another. I've made plenty of extra ones."

Shubie: "Really? Thank you so much!" Shubie takes another brownie and eats it.

Nancy: "No! Shubie's such a clumsy buffoon!"

(Scene cuts to later in the meeting)

President: "The PTA unanimously passes the motion to build bigger doorways in the school to accommodate larger sized fish."

Whale Woman: "Thank you."

Shubie: "Uh, excuse me, can I go to the bathroom? I really have to go."

President: "Of course, we'll take a ten minute recess."

Shubie: "Thanks!" Shubie runs into the bathroom.

Nancy: "This is our chance! Let's lock Shubie in the bathroom so she can't get out!" Nancy and Sadie run over to the women's bathroom and lock the door.

Nancy: "She'll never be able to get back to the meeting now!"

(Scene cuts to Shubie getting out of a stall)

Shubie: "Thank Neptune! I didn't think I could hold that any longer!" Shubie washes her hands and tries to open the door.

Shubie: "Oh no! One of the janitors must've locked the door! How am I going to get out of here?"

(Scene cuts back to the meeting) The president looks at her watch.

President: "Where is Shubie? It's almost been ten minutes now."

Shubie: "I'm here!" Shubie opens an air duct above the president and jumps onto the ground.

Shubie: "Someone locked the bathroom while I was in there so I had to crawl through a ventilation shaft." Nancy angrily sits down in a chair.

Nancy: "How is that even possible?! That fat, clumsy whale could never fit in a ventilation shaft!" Nancy sees the whale woman sitting in the seat next to her.

Whale woman: "Grr..." The whale woman punches Nancy in the face and Nancy goes flying out of the room and into the parking lot.

Sadie: "Hey! You can't do that to my friend you stupid, ugly whale!" The whale woman grabs Sadie and picks her up.

Sadie: "Uh oh." The whale woman throws Sadie out of the room and into the parking lot.

President(from inside): "This meeting has ended, have a wonderful night ladies." The president and Shubie walk out of the school and into parking lot.

President: "That was a great idea you had about having the choir sing during this year's graduation instead of hiring a band like we always do. You're becoming the best PTA member we've ever had in Bikini Bottom."

Shubie: "Thanks, but there's something I need to tell you." Shubie walks on top of Nancy and the president walks on top of Sadie unknowingly.

President: "What's that?"

Shubie: "My boss told me at work a few days ago that I need to work later than I usually do on Tuesday and Thursday nights now so I'm not going to be able to make the meetings anymore since they're all on Tuesday. Do you think you could reschedule the meetings to a different day so I can make them?"

President: "I'm sorry, Shubie, but I can't. I'm a multi millionaire who is the CEO of the Kelpo cereal company. Tuesdays are my only nights off of work so if I rescheduled the meetings I wouldn't be able to make them either."

Shubie: "Really? I didn't know you were the CEO of Kelpo! I thought you were just a stay at home mother who was rich because your husband was a millionaire. I love that cereal and me and my family eat it every morning!"

President: "Thanks. Well my husband is the Vice President of Snail Po, but I contribute to our wealth too."

Shubie: "Well then I guess I can't be a part of the PTA anymore."

President: "Yeah, unfortunately you can't. I'm really going to miss you though Shubie, you were the best member the Bikini Bottom PTA's ever had. It won't be the same without you."

Shubie: "Thanks I'll miss being part of the PTA too. Have a great day!" Shubie and the president get off of Nancy and Sadie and begin to walk away.

President: "You too! Oh, and if anything bad happens to you at your job, just give me a call. Kelpo would love to have you as an executive."

Shubie: "Thanks, I will!" Shubie gets into her boat and drives away.

Sadie: "Well I guess we did it."

Nancy: "Shut it, Sadie." The president gets into her car.

President: "Where am I going to find a new member for the PTA?" Nancy jumps off of the ground as the president begins to drive away.

Nancy: "I'll do it!" Nancy chases after the president's car.

(Scene ends)