The Draft Dodger

Internet Explorer Stalker Forums is the twelveth episode of Even Moar Raw!. In this episode, Plankton's plan to evade the new Bikini Bottom conscription law fails miserably.

Transcript
Plankton turned the TV on.

"This just in, Bikini Bottom has declared war on Rock Bottom!"

"WHAT?," screamed Plankton.

"You didn't know," asked Karen confusingly.

"Um...why?" Plankton questioned.

Karen paused..."we need more land, that's what the Bikini Bottom Military Agency says"

"Well that's bullshit," Plankton responded.

"Also," Karen paused, they want every male and female over five centimetres—(the camera briefly zooms to see Plankton next to a ruler which shows that Plankton is six centimetres tall)—as conscripts to the military.

"Well, I'm going to Canada," Plankton blurted out.

"Why not Mexico?," Karen eyed him.

"Um...uh...El Chapo...that's one of the reasons. Bye, I gotta get Sandy's rocket!," Plankton darted off.

As he ran towards Sandy's house, he bumped into SpongeBob, who was actually happy to be drafted into the war.

"Why are you so happy? We're gonna die!," Plankton yelled at SpongeBob.

"I'm a sponge. And besides, I want to sing my favorite army songs. (The camera zooms out. SpongeBob begins singing, "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOH"—the camera cuts to Plankton meeting Sandy)

Plankton is seen panting as he sees Sandy's treedome.

"Hey...Sandy...can I borrow your rocket for a flight to Houston?," Plankton pleaded as he was dripping with sweat.

"Aw hell naw!," Sandy replied, "I gotta use this for the war!...and I don't like you either. Go to the International Spaceport. Where are you going?"

"Canada," Plankton replied.

"Why not Mexico?," Sandy asked.

"OH JUST TELL ME THE TICKET PRICE," Plankton screamed.

Sandy paused. "Uh...well...$1,000 from Bikini Bottom to Lake Ontario Undersea Airport"

"A GRAND," Plankton screamed even louder, "I DON'T HAVE THAT KIND OF MONEY".

"Well (censor bleep) you," Sandy retorted, and walked away.

(Just then, Plankton spotted a strange van on the road slowing down near him)

"Jump in," said the driver who was peeking out the window.

"But, my eight-grade teacher said no acceptance to strangers—," Plankton questioned.

"GET IN YOU FOOL," the driver screamed. Plankton complied

(Plankton gets into the van. He takes a closer look at the driver)

"Why, hello there," the driver said to him calmly, "I'm Travis.

Plankton has heard about Travis before. Travis the Hippie. He's the guy who got into jail yesterday for hijacking and shutting down the nuclear plant at Squidville. He realized that he was on the run.

"Um, where are you taking me?," Plankton asked nervously.

"Canada," Travis replied, "I eavesdropped on your conversation at the Chum Bucket".

"Um...okay then," Plankton answered.

The two drove to the international spaceport.

"So, do you have two grand to fly us to Toronto?," Plankton asked, knowing how Security won't accept him as he's on the run.

"We're sneakin' in!," Travis said excitedly.

"Oh boy...ben benny benny boy..." Plankton sighed.

(A montage of filler occurs as Plankton and Travis successfully snuck past security, and got into a frieght plane just after final inspection)

"Now what do we do," Plankton asked.

"PLAY OL' HIPPIE SONGS," Travis screamed, "OH HERE IN THIS DAY WE—"

"Uh, I'll just sleep to get some energy in Toronto," he shrugged and walked away from the hippie.

(As the plane takes off, a few thousand anti-war activists rush to fight airport security. The camera cuts to the scene)

"Let us into Canada or we won't fight," they screamed at police.

"It is the law!" some officers shouted back. "Mass arrest them!," one of the officers screamed.

A mass arrest took place. So many were arrested, prisoners had tents outside perimetres as the jail was at 300% capacity.

(The camera cuts back to the plane, which just took off)

"Woo, that was close!" Plankton sighed in relief towards Travis. However, he caught Travis sobbing.

"No," he cried, "I must come to aid with my bretheren!". He walked to the emergency exit.

Plankton realized what he was doing. "WAIT...TRAVIS...NO!," Plankton screamed. But it was too late. Travis made some weird African bird calls, and opened the door, sucking him, Plankton, and a few tonnes of frieght out—all without a parachute. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO," Plankton shrieked, louder than ever before.

However, they were saved—by police officers.

Officer Marge eyed them as they fell. An explosion occured as the two hit ground.

When the officers rushed to the scene, they immediately arrested them for attempting to illegally enter Canada and draft evasion.

"Y'all broke a severe offense, you may be in jail after the war," Officer Marge walked around, "well if it isn't Travis, the guy who hijacked the nuclear plant yesterday". Travis angrily replied, "IT HARMED THE ENVIORNMENT! GO GREEN! GO GREEN!".

"Tell it to the judge mate," Officer Marge snorted.

But he kept shouting "GO GREEN!", overshadowing Plankton screaming yet again. Both were thrown in the police van, and it sped away.

(The end.)