Boaters' Education

Characters
Nat Peterson Shubie Susie Baby Billy Sadie Rechid Debbie Rechid Sally Tina-Fran Scooter Teacher Receptionist Woman Police Officers

Transcript
(Scene cuts to Nat's house) Shubie tries to pour some cereal for Susie and Billy but nothing comes out of the box.

Shubie: "Oh, it looks like we're out of Kelp-O. Nat, can you go by some cereal at the grocery store?"

Nat: "Sure thing, honey! I'll go there right now."

(Scene cuts to Nat driving his boat) Nat drives down the Bargain Mart and parks his boat in a parking space. Nat puts some money in the parking meter, and runs into the store.

(Scene cuts to a police officer in her boat)

Officer: "That parking spot can only be used for 15 minutes, let's see if he can get his shopping done in time."

(Scene cuts to Nat leaving the Bargain Mart)

Nat: "I can't believe they only had one person working at the check outs! That line took forever!" Nat puts the grocery bags in the trunk of his boat and begins to open the door.

Officer: "Hold it right there! That parking spot can only be used for 15 minutes and... (looks at her watch) you parked there for 17! I'm afraid I'm going to have to write you a ticket for that." Nat sighs as she writes him a ticket.

Officer: "Can I have your license please?" Nat gives her his license.

Officer: "I'm sorry sir, but your license is expired."

Nat: "What?! Since when?"

Officer: "Last week, you're going to have to go back to Boating School to renew it."

Nat: "Oh come on, not again!"

(Scene cuts to Sadie driving Debbie in her car)

Sadie: "I can't believe your father made me drop you off at Boating School on the way to work this morning!" Sadie stops at a red light right in front of the Boating School.

Sadie: "Well, at least we're almost there." Sadie sees Nat walking into the Boating School.

Sadie: "Is that Nat? He's soooo handsome!" Debbie gives Sadie a strange look.

Sadie: "Oh! Not more handsome that your father though! That's why I married him."

Debbie: "My mom said you married Dad because he has a lot of money."

Sadie: "Did Mabel say that? Well she's just jealous that your father didn't love her as much as he loves me." Sadie starts putting on lipstick.

Debbie: "Why are you putting on lipstick?"

Sadie: "To make Mr. Peterson jealous of you father for having the prettiest wife in Bikini Bottom, of course!" A police car pulls up next to Sadie's car.

Sadie: "That gives me an idea!" Sadie pulls out her license and scribbles out the expiration date.

Sadie(looks at her watch): "Oh no! You're going to be late for class!"

Debbie: "What? I'm not going to be la-" Sadie puts her foot on the gas pedal and runs the red light. The cop car flashes its lights and chases after her.

(Scene cuts to an officer giving Sadie a ticket) The officer looks at her license.

Officer: "Well, it looks like you scribbled out the expiration date on your license so I guess you're going to have to go to Boating School to renew it."

Sadie: "Yes! I mean, oh no! Not Boating School!"

(Scene cuts to Sadie in Boating School) The receptionist hands her a paper.

Receptionist: "You've been assigned to classroom B." Sadie sees Nat walking into classroom C.

Sadie: "Oh no! Nat's not in my class."

Receptionist (to another woman): "Here's the classroom you're in ma'am. Classroom C is the first door on the right."

Woman: "Thank you."

Sadie: "That gives me an idea." Sadie walks into the other woman on purpose causing her to drop her paper.

Sadie: "Oh! I'm so sorry ma'am, I'm just really tired. You know, taking care of the kids and all."

Woman: "It's alright I know exactly how you feel. I have four children at home." Sadie picks up the classroom papers.

Sadie: "Here you go." Sadie gives her the paper for classroom B.

Woman: "Thank you" The woman turns around and walks away.

Woman: "That's odd, I could've sworn the receptionist said that I was in classroom C." Sadie walks into classroom C and sees Sally walking towards the desk next to Nat. Sadie sprints in front of Sally and sits next to Nat.

Nat: "Hello, Sadie."

Sadie: "Oh, hi Nat! I, uh, didn't see you there."

Nat: "Wait if you're here, then who's working at the store?"

Sadie: "Oh, well, I'm sure our customers will know that we're closed today."

(Scene cuts to Scooter in the store)

Scooter: "Hello, anyone there?"

(Scene cuts to the teacher walking into the classroom)

Teacher: "Hello, my is Mrs.-"

Sadie: "Ugh, Boating School is so boring. But at least Nat's here. He's so handsome and dreamy."

Nat: "What?"

Sadie: "Nothing! I'm just taking notes!"

Teacher: "Today we are going to learn about stop signs. When you see a stop sign, you need to slow down and briefly come to stop before you continue on the road." Sadie gets bored and instead of taking notes, draws a picture of Nat.

Teacher: "What are you doing?"

Sadie: "Um, I'm taking notes."

Teacher: "On what? You're supposed to be watching a video on how to open a sun roof! You couldn't possibly be writing notes on that for the past 30 minutes! Let me see what you've been writing." Sadie rips the drawing out of her notebook and puts it in her mouth.

Teacher: "What on earth are you doing?"

Sadie(swallows the paper): "Um, I find that when you eat the notes after you've just taken them, it helps you remember them better. It's an old trick I learned in grade school." The teacher walks away.

(Scene cuts to the class at the driving course)

Teacher: "This will be the driving portion of the test. Since it takes way too long to do a driving test with everyone individually, we are trying a new system this year. Each of you will get into a boat as pairs and grade the other classmate based on their efficiency at preforming the driving skills we learned in class today. Everyone find a partner!"

Tina-Fran: "Nat, do you want to be my partner?"

Sadie: "Sorry, Tina, but Nat already asked me to be his partner." Sadie grabs Nat and brings him towards a boat.

Nat: "What? I never asked you to be my partner."

Sadie: "Oh, I was just doing you a favor. I knew that Tina was just going to try and get you to give her a good grade."

Nat: "Really?"

Sadie: "Oh yeah, everyone knows that Tina's a terrible driver, there's no way she'll pass that test. I just didn't want you to get in trouble if you and Tina got caught cheating."

Nat: "Well then, thanks, Sadie. Do you want to drive first?"

Sadie: "Oh Nat, you're such a gentleman! But I think that you should go first."

Nat: "Ok." (Scene cuts to Nat doing everything perfectly during the driving test)

Sadie: "Wow Nat, that was great! I'm going to give you a perfect score!" Sadie checks of all the points and gives Nat a 100.

Nat: "Really? Thanks! Now it's your turn."

(Scene cuts to Sadie driving on the course) Sadie makes a terrible turn that causes the boat to go off the road and into the dirt.

Nat: "Woah!" Sadie then drives through a stop sign without stopping.

Nat: "Sadie, you just ran right through a stop sign!"

Sadie: "So? It's not like there was anyone there." Sadie then drives right by a picture of lady pushing a baby carriage and almost hits it.

Nat: "Sadie! You almost hit that lady crossing the street!"

Sadie: "So? It's not like that lady's real or anything, it's just a picture." Sadie drives down the street and finishes the test.

Sadie: "So, how did I do?" Nat hands her the paper and gets out of the car.

Sadie: "A 48?!" Sadie takes out a pencil. Sadie: "Let me just change that to a 98."

(Scene cuts to the classroom)

Teacher: "Now it's time for the written test. This test will count more than your driving test, so even if you did amazing on that, it doesn't mean that you'll get your license. Here are the tests, good luck." The teacher hands the tests to the students.

Sadie: "Oh barnacles! I have no idea what to do when there's a yellow light! Hey, Nat! Can you help me with question 6?"

Nat(whispers): "Sure, the answer is..."

Teacher: "Oh! I almost forgot! (points at Nat) Can you move to the desk in the back of the room? I just want to spread everyone out to prevent anyone from cheating and I know that people will be tempted to cheat off of you since you're easily the best driver in this class." Nat moves to the desk in the back of the room.

Sadie: "Tarter sauce! Hey! Psst! Tina do you know the answer to number 6?"

Tina: "Shhh..."

Sadie: "Hey, Sally! Can you help me with number 6?"

Sally: "Shh... Sadie stop talking!"

Sadie: "Ugh. Debbie do you know the answer to number 6?" Debbie shakes her head.

Sadie: "Great! Now how am I supposed to pass this test?"

Teacher(looks at her watch): "Alright class, time's up!"

Sadie: "What?! I only did five questions! Can I have more time?"

Teacher: "I'm sorry, but I have to collect your tests now." Sadie hands in her test.

(Scene cuts to the teacher handing back the tests) The teacher hands Nat his test.

Teacher: "Congratulations, Nat! You got one of the highest scores I've ever given! Here's your license!" The teacher gives Nat his license. The teacher hands back Sadie's test.

Sadie: "I failed?! How am I supposed to get my license now?"

Teacher: "Well you can always take the test again next week."

Sadie: "Another week of boating school? You've got to be kidding me!"

(Scene ends)