Shubie's Sister

Transcript
(Scene cuts to Shubie working at the Mall) Shubie looks at her watch. The time on her watch changes from 4:59 to 5:00.

Shubie: "Hooray! It's finally spring break! Great Barrier Reef here I come!" Shubie runs out of the Mall and into her car before driving away.

(Scene cuts to Shubie pulling into her driveway) Shubie gets out of her car and runs into the house.

Shubie: "Hi honey, I'm home! Is everything ready?"

Nat: "Everything's packed and ready to go!"

Shubie: "Excellent! Go put the suitcases in the car and I'll get the kids." Nat walks over to the car while Shubie runs upstairs.

Shubie: "It's time to go Susie! We're leaving now!" Susie gets out of her room and runs down the stairs. Shubie grabs Baby Billy and runs over to the car.

Shubie: "It was so nice of Patty to let us use her house at Great Barrier Reef this week, wasn't it?" Shubie buckles Baby Billy into a baby seat.

Nat: "Yeah it was she's such a nice person." Shubie gets into the car and buckles her seat belt.

Shubie: "Ok everyone buckle up! We have a long six hour drive ahead of us!"

(Scene cuts to Shubie driving past a sign that says "Welcome to the Great Barrier Reef: Vacation Paradise for only the Wealthiest Fish") Shubie pulls into a driveway in front of a condo.

Shubie: "Six hours but we're finally here! 26 Luxury Lane! Let's go get the stuff out of the car and go to sleep. We'll unpack it tomorrow morning." Shubie gets out of the car and opens the trunk. Harold's head pops out of the pile of suitcases.

Harold: "Hey Shubie!" Shubie screams.

Shubie: "What are you doing here?!"

Nat: "He wouldn't stop asking me to bring him when I was packing the car so I decided why not? He is one of my best friends after all. Can he stay?" Harold and Nat give Shubie puppy dog eyes.

Shubie(sighs): "Fine he can stay, but he's sleeping on the couch."

Harold: "Yay!"

Shubie: "Now take all of our bags inside I need to get some shuteye after driving for six hours straight." Shubie dumps the suitcases on top of Harold and walks away.

(Scene cuts to Nat, Shubie, Harold, Susie and Billy going to the beach the next day) Shubie puts up an umbrella while Harold and Nat put two towels in the sand and sit down. Shubie sits down next to Nat.

Shubie: "This beach is so nice it's ten times better than Goo Lagoon!"

Nat: "You can say that again." A family walks next to them. The mother looks at them and sighs.

Mother: "Peasants." The mother puts a box on the ground, presses a button and the box turns into a huge beach tent with a sun roof, beach chairs and a mini bar with a robot bartender.

Father: "AC on." A bunch of fans pop out of the tent and the robot bartender hands him and his wife drinks as they sit down in the beach chairs and relax.

Shubie: "Wow I never thought I'd see so many rich people here either."

Nat: "You can say that again." An old lady walks towards Shubie and Nat.

Shubie: "Hey I think I know that woman! That's Mrs.-"

Old woman: "Shubie! Is that you? I never thought I'd ever see you here, I see that you must've married rich."

Shubie: "Oh no, I actually make more than my husband we're just borrowing a friend's beach house for the week."

Old woman: "Oh that makes sense. Well how are your parents doing? Do they still live in Bikini Bottom? I haven't seen them since I moved out of that dump of a town."

Shubie: "No they live in Dullsville now but they're doing great!"

Old woman: "That's good I heard that place is great for elderly fish. Is your sister doing well too?"

Shubie: "Uh... I don't have a sister."

Old woman: "Oh dear Neptune! Your parents still haven't told you about your sister?"

Shubie: "What? I'm an only child. Maybe you're confusing me with someone else."

Old woman: "No I can remember it like is was yesterday. You have a sister that your parents decided to put up for adoption before you were born. Now what was her name again? Annette? No it wasn't that. Sophia? No that's not it either. Uh..." Evelyn walks past them.

Harold: "Hey Evelyn, how's it going?" Evelyn kicks sand in his face.

Shubie: "Jeez what's Evelyn's problem? He was just saying hello."

Old Woman: "That's it! Evelyn! You're sister's name is Evelyn!" Evelyn turns around.

Shubie and Evelyn: "WHAT?!"

Old woman: "I can't believe I couldn't remember her name before. Well I'll see you later it was nice catching up with you!" The old woman walks away.

Shubie: "That woman is crazy. There's no way I've had a missing sister for all these years without my parents ever telling me, and even if I do there's no way it's Evelyn! We don't even look alike!" Harold and Nat look at Shubie and then at Evelyn and shrug their shoulders.

Shubie: "Oh come on there's no way you can possibly think we're related! She's the complete opposite of me!"

Harold: "Well I don't know, I've always thought you were similar honestly. You're both pink, you're both mothers, you're around the same height, you both have sons named Billy, you both have a little bit of a temper..."

Shubie and Evelyn: "DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE A TEMPER?!" Shubie sighs.

Shubie: "Fine I'll prove it to you that that woman is crazy by having a DNA test."

(Scene cuts to Shubie and Evelyn taking a DNA test)

Doctor: "Ok I need you to spit in this cup for me." The doctor holds out a cup and Shubie spits into it.

Doctor: "And I'll need a hair sample from you." The doctor pulls out one of Evelyn's eyelashes.

Evelyn: "Ow!"

Doctor: "Perfect! The test will be over in a few moments." The doctor puts the two samples in a machine and it spits out a piece of paper. The doctor takes the paper out of the machine.

Doctor: "It looks like you two are a perfect match! You both have the same biological mother and father."

Shubie: "What?! This can't be true!"

Doctor: "Well it is that's what this machine is for. Now you need to pay a bill of $500."

Evelyn: "Well I think that the one with a stable job and family should pay for this." Shubie sighs and writes out a check for $500 dollars before leaving.

Evelyn: "So I guess we're siblings after all."

Shubie: "Yeah this just feels so weird. I don't understand why my parents abandoned you but not me."

Evelyn: "Probably because you're better than me in every way. You were always smarter than me and better than me at every sport besides boxing and that's just because I have hands the size of basketballs. And look at you now you're happily married with a beautiful family and a decent job while I'm a jobless single mother."

Shubie: "Aw don't be so hard on yourself. You have a great life and I'm determined to be the best sister I possibly can be. Why don't we get something to eat and talk for a while."

(Scene cuts to Shubie and Evelyn eating at a restaurant)

Shubie: "So do you have any friends?"

Evelyn: "Um... do you count as one?"

Shubie: "Uh sure I do! But it's okay I don't have many friends either honestly. It's only Nancy, Martha, Sadie, Patty, Sally, Tina..."

Evelyn: "Ok that's enough! You have a lot of friends Shubie I always see you having a great time with Nancy, Martha and Sadie. The only women I talk to are the other single ones and they're so much younger than I am and we have nothing in common."

Shubie: "Oh well now that we're sisters, I'll make sure to invite you the next time I do something with Nancy, Martha and Sadie. But anyway speaking of being single, are you seeing anyone right now?"

Evelyn: "No my last relationship didn't go so well, the guy was such an idiot. I specifically told him to get me a pearl necklace for my birthday and he got me a pearl bracelet instead! Can you believe it? Does it look like a bracelet can fit on this wrist?"

Shubie: "Oh that stinks but maybe you should try someone else. Hey that guy over there looks pretty handsome and he's looking right at us!" Shubie waves at a muscular fish sitting at the bar and he walks over towards them.

Muscular fish: "Hey beautiful how's it going?"

Shubie: "Oh no, I'm happily married. She's the one who's single."

Musclar fish: "Oh. Hey beautiful how's it going?" Evelyn rolls her eyes.

Shubie (whispers): "Come on, compliment him!"

Evelyn(sighs): "Wow those are some really big muscles. Do work out a lot?" The muscular fish flexes.

Muscular fish: "Yeah I go to the gym every so often. Wow those are some pretty big fins you have there, I like girls with big fins." Evelyn blushes.

Evelyn: "Really? Every other guy I've ever been with has hated them! They really helped when I was a professional boxer back in the day."

Muscular fish: "A professional boxer? That's awesome! I love girls who can take care of themselves instead of having to run to me all the time for protection. Do you wanna go lift some weights?"

Evelyn: "I'd love to!" Evelyn and the muscular fish walk away.

(Scene cuts to Shubie back at the beach house)

Shubie: "I think I'm finally bonding with Evelyn! It's so much fun having a sister! I even set her up with a really muscular fish too."

Nat: "That's great Shubie! I'm glad that everything's working out so far between you and Evelyn."

Shubie: "Yeah (looks at her watch) well we'd better get to bed so we're ready for another beach day tomorrow! Hey do you know where the heck Harold is? It's getting pretty late."

Nat: "I don't know honestly. I think he said something about running on a treadmill or something before he left." The doorbell rings.

Shubie: "Oh that must be him now." Shubie opens the door.

Harold: "Hey guys I just met the greatest woman."

Shubie: "That's great Harold who is she?" Evelyn jumps into the room.

Evelyn: "Me! Isn't this great Shubie? Now my soon to be husband is best friends with yours!"

Shubie: "What?! What happened to that other guy?"

Evelyn: "He was so boring! All he cares about is his stupid body!"

(Scene cuts to a flashback of Evelyn and the muscular fish lifting weights at a gym)

Muscular fish: "610! 611! 612..." Evelyn sighs and throws a dumbbell on the ground. Evelyn looks up and sees Harold struggling to lift a dumbbell.

Evelyn: "No, no, no! You're doing it all wrong! This is how you do it." Evelyn touches Harold hand and they both blush as romantic music starts playing.

(Flashback ends)

Shubie: "Don't you think this is a little fast? I mean you both fell in love after you touched his hand! Come on Evelyn I'm sure there are tons of other fish that are better for you than him."

Evelyn: "How could you not be happy for me? I finally found the one person who makes me happy and you don't approve it? You're abandoning me just like mother did! Come on Harold let's go sleep at my beach house!" Evelyn and Harold walk out of the room and slam the door.

Nat: "Well that couldn't have gone worse."

Shubie: "She's just being dramatic. Could you even imagine both of them being happy if they were in a relationship?"

Nat (pauses): "Not at all."

Shubie: "Well look on the bright side. At least this couch won't smell like rotten Krabby patties anymore."

(Scene cuts to Evelyn and Harold walking onto a diner the next day) A waiter walks over to their booth.

Evelyn: "What would you like for lunch Harold?"

Harold: "I'll have a hotdog."

Evelyn: "And I'll have the pasta."

Worker: "Ok I'll get that to you as soon as I can." The waiter walks away.

Harold: "Would you like some gum?"

Evelyn: "Sure! I would love some!" Harold hands her a piece of gum and Evelyn starts to chew it. The gum explodes inside Evelyn's mouth causing her entire mouth to be filled with gum.

Evelyn: "What is this?"

Harold: "It's my last invention, mouth filling gum! Once it touches saliva it immediately explodes and fills the person's mouth. Did you like it?"

Evelyn: "Oh yeah I really enjoyed feeling as if my mouth was gonna explode!" Evelyn grabs a piece of the gum and shoves it in Harold's mouth. The gum explodes.

Harold: "Hey stop that!" Harold laughs and playfully hits Evelyn. Evelyn playfully hits him back and Harold goes flying into the air and gets stuck in the ceiling.

Evelyn: "Oh no! I'll save you Harold!" Evelyn jumps up on top of the table and tries to pull Harold down.

Evelyn: "I've got you! I've got you!" Evelyn continues tugging on Harold's leg and Harold finally comes down and smashes into the table.

Evelyn: "Oh Harold I'm so sorry! Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?" Evelyn lifts Harold off of the table.

Harold: "Oh don't worry it's fine! I'll just take these new pills that I invented which heal any injury!" Harold takes a pill and all of his wounds go away.

Evelyn: "Oh Harold that was amazing! What are those pills made of?" Harold opens his mouth to speak but his tongue becomes huge and falls out of his mouth on top of Evelyn.

Harold: "I guess it has a few negative side effects." Evelyn pushes his tongue off of her.

Evelyn: "I've never been so disgusted in my entire life."

(Scene cuts to Frank, Nancy and Isabel driving along the highway) Frank looks at his watch.

Frank: "Can we please stop and get something to eat? I'm starving and I've been driving for six hours!" Nancy sighs.

Nancy: "Fine! But if Isabel misses her cello concert tonight because of this then our marriage is over." Frank takes the next exit and pulls into the parking lot of the diner. Frank, Nancy, and Isabel walk into the diner and sit at the booth behind Evelyn and Harold.

Waiter: "Are you ready to order?"

Nancy: "My daughter will have the kids meal, my husband will have pasta and I'll have a cheeseburger. And make it snappy! My daughter has a huge cello concert tonight and we can't miss it! Got that?"

Waiter: "Yes ma'am!" The waiter runs away and into the kitchen.

Waiter: "I need pasta, a burger and a kids meal ASAP! That woman does not look happy and she's gonna explode if we don't give it to her soon."

Nancy(from outside the kitchen): "Why is this ketchup bottle empty?!" Nancy throws the bottle onto the floor and it breaks.

Chef: "Oh dear Neptune that woman is insane! Here's a burger. Table seven already ordered a kids meal so take theirs and I'll make another one for them. And Table three orders some pasta so take a bit from theirs, dump it onto a plate and give it to them. Now go, go, go before she destroys the place!" The waiter grabs the food and runs back to Nancy's table.

Waiter: "Here you go sorry for the wait." The waiter gives Frank, Nancy and Isabel their food.

Nancy: "Thanks. Now I have to go to the bathroom." Nancy gets up and walks into the ladies room, and Frank begins to eat his pasta. The waiter walks over to Evelyn and Harold's table.

Harold: "So anyway I was all like 'that's not your food sir!' But he was all like 'yes that is man!' So then I said..."

Evelyn: "What are we even talking about anymore?"

Waiter: "Here's your food." The waiter hands Evelyn and Harold their food and Evelyn starts eating her pasta. Evelyn and Frank put the same piece of spaghetti in their mouths which causes Frank to fly around the booth and hit into Evelyn before falling onto the ground.

Evelyn: "What the-" Evelyn turns around and sees Frank who is using the table to get on one knee as he tries to get up. Nancy gets out of the bathroom.

Evelyn: "Oh my gosh! Yes! YES! I will marry you!"

Nancy: "What?! Frank how could you do this to me?! Well fine if you want to marry Evelyn then I'll marry..." Nancy looks around and all the other men in the diner disappear besides Harold.

Nancy: "Harold!"

Harold: "What?"

Nancy: "Won't it be great?! We'll have a double wedding too right here on the beach of the Great Barrier Reef!" Nancy grabs Harold and Isabel and walks out of the diner.

Waiter: "Normally I would tell her that she has to pay for her food, but I'm too afraid that she'd put me in a body bag if I did."

(Scene cuts to Evelyn ringing the doorbell of Shubie's beach house) Shubie opens the door.

Shubie: "Hello? Oh hi, Evelyn, I'm so sorry about what I said before about Harold. As your sister I shouldn't judge who you fall in love with as long as they make you happy."

Evelyn: "Oh it doesn't matter I'm engaged now!"

Shubie: "What?! You and Harold are getting married?"

Evelyn: "Nope me and Frank are!" Evelyn grabs Frank and squeezes him. Shubie's jaw drops.

Shubie: "Frank? But...but... he's..." Evelyn shushes Shubie.

Evelyn: "I'm sorry Shubie but I don't have time for you to tell me how proud you are of me, I have to finish handing out these invitations. The wedding's tonight at 7 right here on the beach and I would love it if you came and were my maid of honor!" Shubie just stares at her with her mouth hanging open in shock.

Evelyn: "Aw look Frank, she's so happy for me that she doesn't have any words to describe it! I know you'd help me out with this see you at 7!" Evelyn and Frank walk away and Shubie closes the door. Nat walks over to Shubie.

Nat: "Who was that Shubie?" Shubie turns around with the same expression on her face.

Shubie: "Married! Evelyn is getting married to Frank tomorrow! He's already married! I don't know what to do Nat! I've heard of sibling problems before but nothing like this!"

Nat: "There, there, Shubie. Just let things take there course I'm sure that everything will work out in the end."

Shubie: "How can you be so sure Nat? We're talking about someone who just got engaged to Nancy's husband!"

Nat: "Just relax Shubie that's Nancy and Evelyn's problem not yours. All you should worry about is supporting your sister no matter what mess she's in."

Shubie: "I guess you're right Nat, but I don't know... Something seems fishy about this."

(Scene cuts Shubie, Nat, Susie and Billy walking into Evelyn's wedding) Shubie looks at her watch.

Shubie: "Where is everyone? The wedding starts in ten minutes and no one's here!"

Evelyn: "There they are!" Evelyn runs over and gives Shubie a hug.

Evelyn: "I knew you'd make it! This is going to be the best day of my life!"

Shubie: "Where is everyone?"

Evelyn: "Oh uh... you were the only ones invited besides Isabel of course. Everyone else is back in Bikini Bottom so they couldn't make it. But who needs them anyway! As long as I have my baby sister and the love of my life then I'll be happy! Also would Susie mind being the rings bearer? Isabel's already the flower girl and Nancy didn't want her to do both."

Shubie: "Uh... ok that's fine, Susie can be the ring bearer."

Evelyn: "Great! I knew you'd help us out! Well I better getting going, the wedding's about to start and we need to walk down the aisle." Evelyn walks away and Shubie stands on one side of the altar holding Billy while Nat stands on the other side. Here Comes the Bride begins to play and Isabel throws followers down the aisle. Evelyn and Frank walk up the aisle followed by Nancy and Harold. Priest: "We are all gathered here today to witness two marriages between Evelyn and Frank, and Nancy and Harold. Would anyone like to exchange their vows?"

Evelyn: "Oh me, ME! I'll go first!" Evelyn pulls out a card.

Evelyn: "Frank I have been in love with you since you proposed to me earlier today. I promise to be a faithful wife and provide for the many children that I'm sure we'll have together. You are the love of my life and I'm so happy that I will be spending the rest of my life with you."

Priest: "Who would like to go next?"

Nancy: "I'll go! Harold I've been in love with you ever since my husband proposed to that thing earlier today. I uh... love how much you enjoy experimenting and building inventions. I also love the fact that you work at a pet store because it, uh, humbles me being one of the wealthiest people in Bikini Bottom to be married to one of the poorest. I promise to love you as much as I thought Frank loved me and am, uh, thrilled to spend the rest of my life with you."

Harold: "Nancy I've been in love with you ever since he told me that we were getting married earlier today. I really like your gray hair and it serves as a constant reminder that I too will look that old some day. I also love your daughter from a previous marriage as I do not have one as my own and have always wanted to be a stepfather. I promise to love you as much as I love science and it feels, uh, great knowing that I'll be spending the rest of my life with you."

Priest: "It's your turn Frank."

Frank: "Uh... uh... Evelyn I've been in love with you since earlier today. You're uh a great person and uh... I can't wait to spend the rest of eternity with you!"

Shubie: "I've been to a lot of weddings, but that might have been the worst vow I've ever heard."

Evelyn: "That was such a great vow! You know me so well Frank!"

Priest: "Now do you Evelyn take Frank as your lawfully wedded husband?"

Evelyn: "I do!"

Priest: "And do you Frank take Evelyn as your lawfully wedded wife?"

Frank: "Uh... um... I do."

Priest: "Do you Nancy take Harold as your lawfully wedded husband?"

Nancy: "I do!"

Priest: "And do you Harold take Nancy to be your lawfully wedded wife?"

Harold: "Um... I guess I do."

Priest: "Any objections? You may now kiss your bride." Nancy and Harold struggle to try to kiss each other while Evelyn tries to kiss Frank who is struggling to try a kiss her. Evelyn and Frank are about to kiss...

Shubie: "I object!" Evelyn gasps.

Shubie: "I'm sorry Evelyn but you can't marry Frank he's already married to Nancy. I know that as your sister you want me to support you but I can't support this. I know how much you want to fall in love but not everyone falls in love as quickly as me and Nat did. Look at Nancy, she's been married three times and Frank's been married twice! It took them a few tries to find the right one for them and that might be the same for you. I'm sorry Evelyn but that's just how it works you can't force people to marry you."

Evelyn: "You're right Shubie I'm sorry for being such an idiot before. I just want to become as successful as you are. Obviously love is much more complicated than I thought and I shouldn't try to rush things or force people to marry me. From now on I'll follow your advice and wait for the right person to come along. I'm sorry for doubting you."

Shubie: "It's okay I'm sorry for misjudging you too your the best sister I could ask for." Shubie and Evelyn hug, and Shubie, Evelyn, Nat, Susie and Billy leave.

Harold: "So are we still dating then?" Nancy and Frank hug each other.

Nancy: "Let's never speak of this again."

Frank: "Agreed." Nancy and Frank walk away.

(Scene ends)