Climatic Conditioning

Climatic Conditioning is the 20th episode of Basket Sponge. It aired on March 30, 2015.

Plot
SpongeBob feels he isn't "man" enough to face the upcoming basketball tournament. To prepare himself for the challenges ahead, SpongeBob sets off to train at the dangerous Death Peak.

Transcript
[The team is sitting in front of their favorite ice cream joint, and watching the cars go by]

SpongeBob: Ah, what a beautiful sunset. (licks the ice cream cone)

Squidward: Last time me and you watched a sunset, I exploded from a bomb in a pie.

SpongeBob: Haha, good times.

Squidward: Not really. (takes a bite of his hot fudge sundae, then he explodes)

Larry: Oh, by the way, I put a bomb in your sundae for safe keeping.

Squidward: (black with ashes) Grrr......no problem

Krabs: Thanks again, Coach LeBron, for buying us ice cream.

LeBron: Don't mention it, crab man. Anything to spend time with mah team.

Plankton: It was supposed to be YOUR turn to pay, Krabs.

LeBron: We already discusses this! Last time he paid, all we had to eat were plastic spoons and napkins!

Krabs: (laughing) Arg! Arg! Arg! Some may call me cheap, lad!

Squidward: ALL of us call you cheap, Mr. Krabs!

Patrick: (swallows his cone in one bite) I'm still hungry!

LeBron: I ain't buyin' you no more ice cream, Pink Man.

Patrick: Fair enough. (picks up the whole ice cream shop and eats it)

LeBron: (facepalm)

Larry: Ima kill you, Patrick.

LeBron: Larry, I've told you: Kill your teammates AFTER the tournament.

Larry: Oh, believe me, I plan to. That is, IF they make us lose. (balls up his fist)

Patrick: (gulp)

SpongeBob: Hey! Don't threaten Patrick like that! He's not a bad player!

Larry: You're right, he's not a bad player.......compared to YOU!

Plankton: Ohhhh, burrrrnnnn!!!!!

Krabs: (steps on Plankton)

Plankton: GAHHH!!!! CURSES!!!!

Larry: It's true, SpongeBob! You are the wimpiest, girliest, most PATHETIC person to ever call himself a basketball player!

SpongeBob: W-what....what are you saying?

Larry: I'm saying, you better MAN up! The tournament's next week, you piece of trash!

LeBron: (drops a cinder block on Larry's foot)

Larry: AAAAHHHH!!!!!!!

LeBron: Sorry, SpongeBob. I know he was going on one of his rampages again.

SpongeBob: (sniff) No, it's true. I'm just.....a kid.

LeBron: This isn't The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie. Don't be talking about that throughout the entire episode, please.

SpongeBob: I won't. But still, I.......I need to get away from it all. (runs away)

LeBron: SpongeBob! SpongeBob! Come back!

Patrick: I'm gonna finish your ice cream! (gulp)

Squidward: Look what you did, Larry!

Larry: The little brat needs some time to himself.

LeBron: You should be ENCOURAGING your teammates, Larry! Stop trying to tear them down!

Larry: It'll be healthy for the pispsqueek.

MEANWHILE

SpongeBob: (packing his suitcase at home) I don't care what they say, Gary!

Gary: Moww!!!

SpongeBob: I'm gonna make myself STRONG!!!!

Gary: Mow?

SpongeBob: I'm heading where no man's ever survived.....Death Peak!

Gary: Mowww??????

SpongeBob: Yes, Gary! Death Peak! I may not come back alive! (throws a bra into the suitcase)

Gary: Mowww???!!!!!!!

SpongeBob: Farewell, Gare Bear! (runs out the door)

[The camera turns and we see Gary is on the cell phone talking to someone, revealing he wasn't listening to anything SpongeBob was saying]

Gary: Mowww! Mow, mow mow mow. Mowwwww!!!!

Russian Lady: (on the other end) Your love is like a rainbow of snail saliva!

At Death Peak

SpongeBob: (climing up the mountain) Pant, pant. The journey has been long and trecharous, but it's been worth each and every bit of blood, sweat, and tears I've put into this quest of conquering my fears, and-

Special Steve: You've only climbed 5 feet.

SpongeBob: Ahhh!!! Steve? What are you doing up here?

Special Steve: I've been a hobo for 30 long years, SpongeBob. I'm tired of all the city lights and whatnot. It's time to....get away from it all.

SpongeBob: Ah, I see.

Special Steve: And what brings you here?

SpongeBob: Well, someone on my team called me worthless and pathetic, and threatened to kill me if we lose the tournament....

Special Steve: It was Larry, wasn't it?

SpongeBob: Yeah, how'd you know?

Special Steve: Simple. I was robbing the ice cream store when I overheard you all.

SpongeBob: Oh....that's a bit creepy.

Special Steve: Eh, it's a livin'.

SpongeBob: (pulls out his cell phone) Ugghh, there's no service out here.

Special Steve: There's no service in nature, SpongeBob.

SpongeBob: Oh! Finally, I'm getting some reception! (reads a news heading) Zayn leaves One Direction? NOOOOOO!!!!!!!

[a bird-monster hyrbid swoops down and takes SpongeBob's phone]

SpongeBob: Zayn! Why'd you leave One Direction! WHY???????

[His scream echoes throughout the mountain]

Special Steve: Shhhh, you'll awak The Behemoth!

SpongeBob: (gulp) The......Behemoth?

Special Steve: This isn't my first time on Death Peak, SpongeBob.

[A loud roar is heard from across the mountain]

SpongeBob: (trembling) What was that?

Special Steve: (grabs SpongeBob's mouth) Shut up!

[A large, four-legged beast with two massive horns stomps out of a cave]

Behemoth: GRRRAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

Special Steve: Run! (runs down the mountain)

SpongeBob: Why are we running DOWN the mountain???!!!

Special Steve: To get away from this giant monster chasing us, DUH!

SpongeBob: Shouldn't we be running UP the mountain????

Special Steve: Are you crazy?! He'd catch us!!!!

SpongeBob: I'm gonna make it to the top, no matter what! Even if it means becoming lunch for a giant behemoth! (turns around, and begins running up the mountian)

Behemoth: (turns around, starts chasing SpongeBob up the mountain)

SpongeBob: AAAHHH!!!! (keeps running)

Behemoth: GRAAAHHH!!!!!!!

[A pebble rolls down the mountain, starting an avalanche]

SpongeBob: Oh no!!!! (dodges each boulder)

Behemoth: GRAAHHH!!!! (a boulder crushes him, as he tumbles down the mountain)

THAT NIGHT

LeBron: (tossing and turning in bed) …..........(suddenly wakes up) SpongeBob!!!!!!!!!!

AT DEATH PEAK

''[SpongeBob has started a small fire using twigs. He is shivering in the bitter blizzard]''

SpongeBob: Tomorrow, I will reach the top. And I will become a true man. They'll see. They'll all see.

[The sun rises the next morning]

SpongeBob: Well, time to continue my journey.

''[SpongeBob continues to climb up the mountian all alone. He pases multiple skeletons, of people who have tried to climb Death Peak, but failed miserably. Despite the terrors ahead, SpongeBob perserveres all the way to the top]''

SpongeBob: YESSS!!!! I DID IT!!!! I MADE IT TO THE TOP OF DEATH PEAK!!!!!

[He sees a skeleton lying there holding a sign reading 'So Did I, Bro']

IN BIKINI BOTTOM

[LeBron is in his truck, with Larry in the passenger seat, and Patrick in the back]

LeBron: This is all your fault, Larry! Who knows where he could be!

Larry: Relax, the little wimp probably went to Chuck E. Cheese! Bahahah!!!

Patrick: Chuck E. Cheese? AWW HELL YEAH!!!!

LeBron: No one's going to Chuck E. Cheese!

Patrick: Awww....

[Special Steve is on the side of the road, waving for a ride]

LeBron: (pulls over) Steve, not now!

Special Steve: I need a ride, bruh! I'm a dirty hobo!

LeBron: We're kinda looking for SpongeBob, okay!

Special Steve: SpongeBob? Oh...he's definitely dead.

LeBron: You know where he is?

Special Steve: I do.

LeBron: Where????

[Scene cuts to LeBron, Larry, and Patrick beginning to climb Death Peak]

LeBron: He just HAD to climb Death Peak!

Larry: He's dead. No doubt.

LeBron: Don't say that, Larry!

Larry: It's true, though! Legend has it there's a deadly behemoth lurking around these parts.

LeBron: If we run in to him, we'll feed Patrick to him!

Patrick: You'll feed me a behemoth? Awesome!

Larry: The other way around, Pat.

Patrick: Oh.....that could be fun, too.

Behemoth: RAAAAAARHHH!!!!!!!!

LeBron: Speak of the Devil. That's the behemoth!

Behemoth: Grrrrrrr.......(approaches the three of them)

Larry: (picks up Patrick, and throws him at the Behemoth)

Behemoth: (Patrick lands in his face) …...

Larry: …...

Behemoth: (sniff, sniff) …...RAAARHHHH!!!! (runs away whimpering)

Patrick: Yay! I did it!

LeBron: Whatever, let's bust a move! SpongeBob's dying!

MEANWHILE, AT THE TOP

SpongeBob: (takes a breath of fresh air) Well, SpongeBob, you did it. You showed everyone that you have what it takes to climb the trecharous Death Peak. (looks over the edge) Gulp....now the only problem is living to tell about it...

''[He slips and tumbles down the mountain. He turns into a giant snowball, rolling and rapid speed)''

MEANWHILE

Larry: Face it, Coach. He's dead! We're never gonna find him!

LeBron: I never turn my back on people I love! Of course, love is something you don't know much about.

Patrick: Ouch, that's cold.

Larry: Patrick, not now! Coach, what do you mean?

LeBron: You obviously don't show love to anyone around you.

Larry: I love everyone on the team.

LeBron: Well you certainly don't act like it. You potentially caused SpongeBob's death, and you don't seem to care one bit.

Larry: Wow...you're right.....I am a horrible person!

Patrick: Look out ahead, you two!

[The giant snowball rolls down the hill rigt towards them]

LeBron: AAAHHH!!!!!

Larry: AAHHHH!!!!!!

CRASH!!!!!!!!!!

Larry: (slowly awakening) Augh......what happened....

Dr. Flounder: Good morning, Larry. How are you feeling?

Larry: Fine....where am I?

Dr. Flounder: You were involved in an accident on Death Peak. Do you remember this?

Larry: …..yes.

Dr. Flounder: You're in the hospital, Larry. You have been in a coma for several days.

Larry: (looks at a calendar across the room) Holy crap! The tournament's tomorrow!

Dr. Flounder: Shhhh. There, there.

Larry: W....what about SpongeBob....and LeBron.....and Patrick......what happened to them?

Dr. Flounder: (hesitating) I'm sorry, Mr. Larry. But.....your friends were killed.

Larry: No.......no......this isn't real!

Dr. Flounder: I'm afraid so, Larry. We're terribly sorry.

Larry: No.....no....NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

Dr. Flounder: Just kiddin'! Hahahah! They're perfectly fine, you were the only one injured during this entire accident!!!

Larry: That was sick! What kind of a doctor are you?

Dr. Flounder: A hilarious one! (looks in the mirror) Gaylord, you have done it again!

Larry: (picks up Dr. Flounder, and chucks him out the window)

[SpongeBob, Patrick and LeBron enter the room]

Larry: Guys! I'm so glad you're okay!

LeBron: Same for you, ya jerk!

SpongeBob: Guess what, Larry? I made it to the top of Death Peak!

Larry: Really?

SpongeBob: You bet! And then I slipped....and kinda tumbled all the way down.

Larry: That explains a lot.

SpongeBob: Tee-hee.

Larry: Look, SpongeBob, I've been an asshole. I shouldn't have said those things. They were hurtful and wrong. The truth is, you really are man enough for the tournament tomorrow.

SpongeBob: Really?

Larry: Really.

SpongeBob: (sniff) Thanks, Larry.

Larry: (smiling) No problem, big guy.

Patrick: Ohhh! What does this button do???? (presses a button on Larry's hospital bed, which makes the bed fold up and crush him)

Larry: Ouch....my spleen.