Squid Sitting

Squid Sitting is the tenth Basket Sponge short. It was written by Doctor Bugs.

Plot
When Squidward is turned into a baby, it is up to SpongeBob and Patrick to raise him.

Transcript
(SpongeBob and Patrick are standing in front of Squidward's home)

SpongeBob: (knock, knock) Oh, Squidwaaaaard!

Patrick: We wanna play with youuuuuu!!!!

Squidward: (yelling from inside) No!!! Go away!!!

SpongeBob: (slides under the door) Too late!

Squidward: Aaahhh!!!!

Patrick: (pops out of Squidward's coffee mug) Hey, Squidward!

Squidward: Aaahh!!! (drops the mug, it cracks)

SpongeBob: We dropped by to say hello!

Squidward: Well GET OUT!!!!!

Patrick: (opens a cabinet) Oooh! Let's see what's in here!

Squidward: Patrick! Don't touch ANYTHING!!!

Patrick: (reading a lotion bottle) “Anti-Aging Coconut Cream”? What the heck is this?

Squidward: Patrick! That's my beauty cream! Put it back!

Patrick: (squirts the whole body on Squidward) Tee-hee!!!!

(Squidward is slowly turned into an infant)

Squidward: Waaaaahhhhh!!!!!!!!

Patrick: Uh-oh....

SpongeBob: Patrick! I don't think the whole body was supposed to be used at the same time...

Patrick: Ohh....so THAT'S what this does!

Squidward: Waaaahhhhh!!!!!!!

SpongeBob: (picks Squidward up) Awwh, he's such a cute little baby!

Patrick: He looks delicious!

SpongeBob: We're not gonna eat him, Patrick!

Patrick: Well what are we supposed to do with him?!

SpongeBob: It's our responsibility to raise him!

Patrick: Why?

SpongeBob: Because, he's just a baby! And it's our fault that this happened!

Patrick: Yay! I always wanted to be pregnant!

SpongeBob: (facepalm) Patrick, you're not pregnant.

Patrick: You wanna bet?

SpongeBob: Uh...are you?

Patrick: Well-

SpongeBob: Don't answer that.

Squidward: (falls asleep)

SpongeBob: Awww, the little guy's asleep.

Squidward: (wakes up) Waaaaahhhhhhh!!!!!!

Patrick: Nice going, SpongeBob!

SpongeBob: (smells his diaper) He needs a diaper change!

Patrick: Don't look at me! I can't even change my OWN diaper!

SpongeBob: (gulp) I guess I'll do it.....wish me luck....

5 Minutes Later

SpongeBob: (lying presumably dead on the floor)

Patrick: SpongeBob? Are you okay?

SpongeBob: …....

Patrick: Good thing I know mouth-to-mouth! (punches SpongeBob in the gut)

SpongeBob: OWWW!!!! …...I'm alive.....unfortunately

Squidward: Waaaahhhhhhhh!!!!!

SpongeBob: STUPID BABY! SHUDDAP!!!

Squidward: (stares at SpongeBob)

10 Years Later

(A 10-year-old Squidward is seen blowing out candles on his birthday cake, surrounded by fake friends such as toys and dolls)

SpongeBob: (sniff) Our little guy is growing up.

Patrick: (eating the dolls' face) Yeah, and his friends are delicious!!!

8 Years Later

(Squidward is seen leaving home with a suitcase, walking towards the Bikini Bottom College)

SpongeBob: (waving) Goodbye! Don't forget to wash behind your ears!!!

Patrick: (sobbing) I'll always cherish the times I had eating your toys!!! (sniff)

25 Years Later

(Squidward is shown married to a nice female squid, with several children. They live in a house together in Bikini Bottom)

SpongeBob: (enters the home) Hello, everyone! I dropped by to visit!

Squidward's Kids: GRANDPA!!!!! (run up to him and hug him)

SpongeBob: Heh-heh, settle down, children.

Patrick: (enters the home) WASSUP MAH HOMIES!!!!

Squidward's Kids: (blankly staring at him)

Squidward's Wife: Honey, I thought we filed a restraining order against him.

Patrick: (bites the head off of a barbie doll)

Squidward's Daughter: (starts crying)

Patrick: Hey, don't knock it 'till you try it!