Davy Jones' Locker

Davy Jone's locker is the 5th episode of season 1 of Cult of Squid. It premiered Jan 2nd, 2019.

Cast

 * Brother Squidward
 * Security
 * Noseward
 * Doctor Crayons
 * Flying Dutchman

Transcript
(Ep begins with inside of the cult. NosewardP and Security are chatting and Security is holding coffee while Noseward's is front of hin. Other members are in the background chatting )

Security: (taked sip) Brother Squidward sure is running late.

Noseward: yep, he is. (Attempts to tip the coffee to sip it and it spills all over him) AHHHHH!!!!

Security: you ok there?

Noseward: (wiping it off revealing red eyes) yes.

Doctor crayons: (walks in holding coffee) yeah, he normally isnt this late…

Noseward: (2 second pause) How'd you get out of the cage?

(Cuts to the entrance and Brother Squidward walks in hunched over holding his stomach)

Brother squidward: I'm not feeling too hot…

(Cuts back)

Noseward: then warm up. (Rimshot and wheezing laugh) im good!

(Cuts to Squidward)

Brother Squidward: send him to the cage.

(Cuts back to 2 cult members wearing glasses carrying Noseward away)

Noseward: (while being carried away) i regret nothing!

Brother Squidward: (walks in) ive been feeling terrible all day!

Doctor crayons: (runs in) hmmm… you might be sick.

Brother Squidward: how did you get out of the cage?

Security: you must have the common flu.

Brother Squidward: or maybe i have Squid's disease!

Doctor crayon: that doesn't exist, it's a myth!

(A cult member in the background coughs a lot and falls to the ground)

Security: not too sure about that. Initiator told me he caught it last week.

Initiator: (offscreen) i told you that so you'd go away!

Doctor crayons: let me run some tests. (Grabs vaccine and pokes it in Brother Squidward’s nose)

Brother Squidward: OWWW!

Doctor crayons: that was just a blood sample. Now for the test. (Grabs hammer and mallet)

(Zooms into Security)

Security: i sure hope brother squidward is ok.

(Brother Squidward screams offscreen while a hammer sound is heard)

(Zooms back out)

Doctor Crayons: (looks at a thing in a jar) let's see… (drops jar) oh no… oh nooo…

Security: what is it doc?

Doctor crayons: he caught a case of squid's disease!

Security: but you said that doesnt-

Brother Squidward: how critical?

Doctor c: pretty critical. Not enough to make him die, but he will have a painful couple of days.

Brother Squidward: oh hell no!

Security: dont worry, brother squidward, we'll take care of you.

(A few weeks later timecard)

(Cut to brother squidward on a bed with dr c next to him)

Brother Squidward: i thought (coughs) you said this'll only be a few days!

Dr c: we, apparently this is a much worse case than i thought. You'll be better in a few days! I'll go get some cantaloupe soup.

(A shock is heard)

Noseward: (offscreen) Why'd the lights go dim?

Brother Squidward: only a few more days squiddy.

(A green swirling cloud appears as the room darkens and a laugh is heard)

Brother Squidward: oh no… oh no!!!!

Flying dutchman: (appears after the room flashes when lightning strikes) yes! Ive come for you Squidward!

Brother Squidward: it's brother squidward.

Flying dutchman: SILENCE! (shoots fire at him through his nose) your time is up! For all your misdeeds, you'll be sent to Davy Jone's locker!

Brother squidward: I'm not dead, and whatd i do?!?!

Flying dutchman: first off, you died when i came in. Second, you took over the entire ocean and killed millions of fish! For that, you just earned a trip to Davy Jone's locker!

Brother Squidward: No… nooooo!

( cuts to them at davy Jone's locker after a cloud of smoke fills the screen)

Flying dutchman: this is where you'll spend your time for all eternity!

Brother Squidward: ewww! It reeks!

Flying dutchman: Davy Jones works out a lot and stores his socks in here. Get in!

Brother Squidward: well, I've got nothing better to do. (Opens the locker and steps in) ew! These are soggy!

Flying Dutchman: yep. Enjoy your eternity! (Slams the locker on Brother Squidward's face. The flying dutchman laughs evilly until a ding is heard) oo! My burrito is done! (Flies off)

(Cuts back to the bed as dr c walks in with cantaloupe soup. Brother Squidward is no longer there and a note is in the bed)

Dr c: im back! Sorry it took so long, i- (notices note) eh, what's this? (Puts the soup down and picks the note up)

(Cuts to Dr c's view. The note has a drawing of the dutchman on it)

Dr c: (reading note) “sorry, this person has perished and now is spending eternity in” (reads more shocked) “DAVY JONES’ LOCKER?!”

(Cuts back)

Dr c: I've got to tell the others!!!!!! (Runs off)

(Cuts to Security and Noseward chatting)

Noseward: …and that's how I murdered that man.

Dr c: (runs in) guys, terrible news!

Noseward: what?! Are they after me! I want to liiiive! (Runs behind security)

Dr c: what? No! Read this! (Hands Security the note)

Security: what's this? (Reading note fast) “sorry, this person has perished and now is spending eternity in” (reads more shocked) “DAVY JONES’ LOCKER?!?!?!”

Dr c: yeah! Who knows what they're doing to him down there!

(Cuts to Davy jones’ locker)

Brother squidward: (inside locker) man, eternity sucks!

(Cuts back)

Noseward: but how are we gonna get down there?

Dr c: i have an idea! (Falls on the floor and plays dead

Security: (copies him)

(Noseward does it too)

(The flying dutchman enters)

Flying dutchman: I've come for you… noseward!

Noseward: wha?! Noo!

(He grabs noseward and they go to the locker)

Dr c: that didnt work.

Security: maybe we can dig downwards?

(Cuts to them digging a really deep hole with them in it)

Dr c: (after a short bit, points to Security) this was your idea!

(Cuts to the locker. Noseward is shoved in by the dutchman and it gets closed)

Noseward: (inside locker) this is what an eternity is huh?

Brother Squidward: (in locker) ew! Did you let one loose?

Noseward: (in locker) i did have spicy burritos earlier…

(2 hours later timecard)

(Dr c and Security falls from the ceiling)

Dr c: ow!!! Hey, it's the locker!

Brother squidward: (in locker) help! Get us out of here!!

Security: (stands up) lemme handle this. (Tries to open locker) it won't budge. We need Davy's key.

Brother squidward: (in locker) i saw the dutchman with a key.

Security: (pointing offscreen) maybe he's in there.

(Cuts to a grey door that says “Flying Dutchman's room)

Dutchman: (in the dutchman’s room snoring) zzzzz… Davy jones’ key…

(Cuts back)

Dr c: yeah maybe.

(Cuts to them walking inside the room. In the room is the dutchman’s room from his ship. The dutchman is sleeping)

Security: we need to stealth this.

(They tiptoe to the dutchman)

Dutchman: (rolls over) zzzz….

Security: (whispering) there it is!

Dr c: let me do this. (He hops on the bed and reaches for the key)

Dutchman: (sleeping) if anyone were to steal this key theyd be sentenced to worse than the locker…

Dr c: (quickly steals the key) got it!

Security: what did he say about the key-

(The dutchman wakes up)

Dutchman: (sits up and notices dr c and security) hey! My key!

Security: (short pause) uh oh…

(Cuts to the locker)

Brother Squidward: (in locker) is it eternity yet?

(Dr C and Security run in)

Security: (unlocks locker and grabs brother squidward’s hand) we gotta run!

Dr c: (grand Noseward) quickly! We need to climb that hole!

(The 4 jump up the hole and climbs it)

Dutchman: oh no you don't! (Snaps finger)

(Cuts to a side shot of them climbing the hole. A wall of fire blocks their way)

Dutchman: (flies in) now, to sentence you to the fly of despair… For all eternity! (Snaps again)

(The fly of Despair opens beneath them and it tries to suck them up like a vacuum. Dr c looks at both the hole and the fire wall)

Dr c: run it! (Climbs through the fire wall) owowowowowowowow!

Security: (climbs through) this is a bad idea!

(Brother squidward and noseward climb through it.)

Dutchman: eeerg- eh, forget it. Im gonna go catch more souls. (Flies off)

(Cuts back to the lodge)

Security: woo! We're back!

Brother squidward: (climbs in on fire) woohoo! Ow.

Noseward: remind me to not die. Ever. (Walks away)

Dr c: well im gonna go research stuff. (Walks off)

Security: im gonna go security.

Brother Squidward: (throws up) wait- i still have squid's disease! (Faints)