Kelp Thing

Kelp Thing is the fifth episode of Mermaid Man: The Aquatic Avenger. It aired on February 16, 2013. The previous episode was Bubble Trouble (Part 2). The next episode will be Atomic Plunder.

Plot
After Kelp Thing kidnaps the mayor, Mermaid Man goes into the Kelp Forest to retrieve him.

Transcript
(We open with a shot of City Hall. Mayor Goldstrom is playing with Newton's cradle on his office desk when he hears a scuffling sound in the distance.)

Goldstrom: Hello?

(Goldstrom shrugs and continues playing with the cradle. The scuffling sound gradually gets louder.)

Goldstrom: (looks up) Who's there?

(Goldstrom, visibly shaken, puts the toy away and peeks out of his office door.)

Goldstrom: Barbara, did we get any visitors?

Barbara: (offscreen) None that I know of.

(Goldstrom gulps and returns to his desk.)

Goldstrom: It's all in your head. It's all in your head.

(Suddenly, two long arms of kelp shoot out through the floorboards and grab each of Goldstrom's wrists.)

Goldstrom: (closes eyes) It's all in your head! It's all in your head!

(Goldstrom is pulled into the floor by the kelp, screaming all the way.)

(The theme song plays.)

(Cut to the Mermalair. Mermaid Man, accompanied by his young sidekick Barnacle Boy, walks into the lair with a piece of kelp in his hand.)

Barnacle Boy: Are you sure that stealing evidence from a crime scene is completely ethical?

Mermaid Man: (shakes the kelp) Hey, finders keepers!

(Mermaid Man puts the piece of kelp on a table, positioned under a hanging lamp. He then goes to a cabinet and takes out a newspaper from one of its drawers.)

Mermaid Man: A-ha! (points to an article in the newspaper) "Strange goings-on in the Kelp Forest". This is from less than a week ago, so they must be connected! Barnacle Boy, stay here and monitor the evidence. Call me on my walkie-talkie if you notice anything strange.

Barnacle Boy: Where will you be at?

Mermaid Man: Where else? The Kelp Forest!

(Cut to the Kelp Forest. Mermaid Man flies over the forest and uses his telescopic vision to scan the area.)

Mermaid Man: Where are you, Goldstrom?

(Mermaid Man spots the mayor tied to a tree and gagged by kelp.)

Mermaid Man: There you are!

(Mermaid Man flies down to Goldstrom and uses his heat vision to break the binding kelp.)

Mermaid Man: Who did this to you?

Goldstrom: I...I don't know. Really! I don't! One minute I was in my office, then...

(Suddenly, strings of kelp wrap around Mermaid Man's and Goldstrom's ankles and pull them down until they're both neck-high in mud.)

(Cut to the Mermalair. Barnacle Boy is reading through the newspaper that Mermaid Man left behind.)

Barnacle Boy: (yawns) I can't believe this. Mermaid Man's off fighting bad guys somewhere, while I'm holed up in this smelly cave watching over a stupid piece of kelp.

(The kelp on the table starts to squirm, but Barnacle Boy doesn't notice it. The kelp grows larger and larger, and when Barnacle Boy looks up from the newspaper, he jumps back in shock.)

Barnacle Boy: Whoa there, little guy!

(Barnacle Boy takes a chemical compound out from under the table and pours it on the kelp, returning it to its original state. Barnacle Boy then calls Mermaid Man on the walkie-talkie, but there's no answer.)

Barnacle Boy: Mermaid Man, come in! Come in, Mermaid Man! Oh, no.

(Barnacle Boy grabs the rest of the chemical compound and flies out the Mermalair.)

(Cut to the Kelp Forest. Mermaid Man hears his walkie-talkie vibrate in the mud, but he's unable to move his arms.)

Voice: You shouldn't have interfered, Mermaid Man.

Mermaid Man: Who are you? What do you want with the mayor?

Voice: My name is Jefferey Wheatly...

(A creature made entirely of kelp rises from the ground.)

Jefferey: But you probably know me better as "Kelp Thing".

(Goldstrom gasps.)

Mermaid Man: You know him?

Jefferey: Know me? (laughs) Tell him, mayor! Tell him how you tortured me all throughout high school and well into college!

(Goldstrom holds back tears as the kelp around his ankles pull him further into the mud.)

Mermaid Man: Hey! You're going to kill him!

Jefferey: It's what he deserves! Goldstrom and his gang shoved me into lockers, gave me black eyes, and ridiculed me, all because I was different! Goldstrom's favorite insult, Kelp Thing, plagues my nightmares to this day. Death is too good for him! I'll make sure he suffers...suffers like I did!

(Goldstrom begins to drown in the mud, and Barnacle Boy appears in the sky.)

Jefferey: Another one?

(As Barnacle Boy flies toward Mermaid Man and Goldstrom, a branch from a kelp tree stretches out and strangles him.)

Mermaid Man: No! Jefferey, I know you've had a hard life, but this isn't the answer!

Jefferey: You don't understand. No one understands!

(Barnacle Boy takes out the chemical compound that he brought from the Mermalair and pours it on the kelp branch. Jefferey screams, and the kelp branch releases its grip on Barnacle Boy's neck. Mermaid Man flies from the mud and pulls out with him a now-unconscious Goldstrom.)

Jefferey: No! My union with the forest! It's broken!

(Mermaid Man handcuffs a defeated Jeffery. On the way back to Bikini Bottom, Goldstrom wakes up and finds himself being carried by Barnacle Boy and Jeffery being carried by Mermaid Man.)

Goldstrom: What? I'm alive? You saved me! You saved my life!

Mermaid Man: Don't mention it. (growls) Please.

(The End)