Entrance

Transcript
(Episode opens with camera zooming in on a boat, and Mr. Craps is seen standing before the 20 contestants who are already split into two teams)

Mr. Craps: Welcome everyone to the first season of Mr. Craps’ Survivor! This year you are in two tribes, Calaga and Juku. One of you standing here will win $1,000,000, and the role of sole survivor! Calaga, before we begin I want you guys to choose who you think the strongest and weakest people on Juku are. Juku, do the same for Calaga.

(Juku huddles up)

Pearl: I think that SpongeBob is the weakest on their team, and Craig is the strongest.

Squidward: I agree.

(Everyone on Juku agrees and pick out SpongeBob as Calaga’s weakest and Craig as Calaga’s strongest)

SpongeBob: What? Me?

(Everyone on Calaga agrees that Hoopla is the weakest on Juku and King Neptune is the strongest)

Mr. Craps: Okay, now that these four have been chosen out, it’s time for your first reward challenge. For today’s challenge, one teammate will run out to a wall with two levers, one for each team. You will pull the lever to release a bag filled with balls. Then, your other teammate goes. The second teammate will have to throw a ball to knock down a target, which will open a hatch underneath to get a bag of puzzle pieces. The first team to finish their puzzle wins.

Squilliam: What are we playing for?

Mr. Craps: Glad you asked. You will be playing for some extra firewood, as well as tools to build a shelter.

Plankton: Yayyyy.

Mr. Craps: Will the selected teammates please step up to the starting carpet and select the order?

(Craig, SpongeBob, Hoopla, and King Neptune come forth)

King Neptune: Hoopla, why don’t you go first?

Hoopla: HOOPLA!

King Neptune: Not sure what you said there but you’re first.

Hoopla: HOOPLA!

Craig: SpongeBob, I’ll go first and you go second?

SpongeBob: Sure, sounds good to me!

Mr. Craps: Survivors on your marks, get set, go!

(Craig dashes out and pulls the lever first, Hoopla takes a few seconds to follow)

Hoopla: HOOPLA!

Craig: You said it dude!

(Craig catches the bag filled with balls and starts trying to hit the target)

Craig: (misses) Come on!

Mr. Craps: Craig misses his first target, if he wants his team to win this, he has to move fast!

Hoopla: HOOPLA!

(Hoopla gets his bag and hits the target first try, and King Neptune runs out to get the puzzle pieces)

Mr. Craps: Hoopla hits his target!

King Neptune: Hey Craig, how’s it going over there?

Craig: Grrrrr.

(Craig hits the target and SpongeBob grabs the puzzle pieces)

Mr. Craps: Now Craig hits his target!

SpongeBob: Let’s go!

Mr. Craps: It now comes down to SpongeBob and King Neptune! Whoever completes their puzzle faster wins!

(SpongeBob starts his puzzle but misplaces a few pieces, and King Neptune swiftly puts half of it together; SpongeBob comes down to four pieces, King Neptune comes down to three)

Mr. Craps: It’s anybody’s game now, it’s just a question of who can-

(King Neptune finishes his puzzle)

Mr. Craps: And Juku wins! Please, come collect your reward and get on the boat to go to your island! Calaga, got nothing for you go onto your boat and get to your island.

(The teams go to their islands, and Juku: Day One is seen in the left corner of the screen)

Mermaid Man: (Talking to camera, like those little moments where it’s one person sitting down talking about plans, you know what I mean) So we arrive on the island, and thankfully there are no signs of EVIL yet. My young ward Barnacle Boy is here, so I will try to form an alliance with him!

(Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy are walking on a beach)

Mermaid Man: Hey Barnacle Boy, want to form an alliance?

Barnacle Boy: Sure, I was just about to ask you the same thing. We should probably find an idol since there’s only a certain amount of time two old geisers like us get on shows like this!

(Camera pans to where the shelter is being built)

Patrick: So Karen, if you start the fire, I’ll build the shelter with King Neptune.

King Neptune: I think that we should gather palm leaves to help as a roof, Mrs. Puff can you get some?

Mrs. Puff: Sure!

(Karen starts the fire)

Karen: Fire started.

Patrick: Good, now we have warmth.

King Neptune: (quietly to Patrick) we should form a team with you, me, and Squidward.

Patrick: Squidward?

King Neptune: Believe me, he’s a strategic mastermind and one of the strongest players out here. If we team up with him, then that’ll keep us in the game longer!

Patrick: True. Let’s go ask him.

(Camera pans away to the Calaga island and Calaga: Day One is seen in the left corner of the screen)

Maja: So we lost, which sucks because it gives Juku a better start. Which also means that we have barely any tools, no fire, and no shelter. Great. And what’s even worse is that I’m the only girl on this team, so making alliance may be difficult.

Maja: Guys, we have to try and build a shelter before night!

Don: Sure sure, I’ll try to get some stuff.

(Don wanders off into the jungle)

Don: So Maja just gave me a great reason to get away to try and find an idol. Everyone else thinks I’m getting materials, but I’m actually searching for an idol. Before I leave, I think I’ll ask  Squilliam to come with me.

Don: Squilliam, can you come collect materials to build a shelter with me?

Squilliam: Sure.

Don: (walking away as the rest of the tribe is building) So I actually need you to help me find an idol. Search for anything out of place.

Squilliam: Hey look, this rock has a purple arrow on it!

(The arrow is pointing towards a large tree with a purple mark on it)

Don: I think we’ve found it!

(The pair go to the tree and Don notices an idol)

Don: Squilliam, this basically means we’re in an alliance.

Squilliam: Yeah, just open this sucker!

Don: You have found an immunity idol nullifier. At Tribal Council you may play this after an idol is played, making all the votes the idol nullified not count.

Squilliam: So you keep this, and I’ll see if I can find an idol.

Squilliam: I let Don have the idol nullifier because I want to find an idol. If I find an idol, we might be an unstoppable pair. Unfortunately that would also give him the power to betray me which wouldn’t be good for my game.

(Camera pans back to Juku, and in the left corner Juku: Day Two can be seen)

Patrick: (walking to Squidward) Squidward, King Neptune and I want you to join our alliance.

Squidward: Sure I’ll join, but what’s in it for me? Do you guys have an idol?

Patrick: No, but.

Squidward: Well then we’ll find one.

(Camera pans to the shelter which Karen has finished)

Karen: All done!

Hoopla: HOOPLA!

Karen: I really don’t like the Hoopla guy. He only says the same thing and it’s starting to get real annoying.

Hoopla: HOOPLA!

Karen: (to Sandy) Sandy, if we lose I think we should vote out Hoopla.

Sandy: Yeah, he’s getting annoying and has yet to actually do something.

Karen: Let’s find an idol just in case.

(Karen and Sandy find an idol and Karen unwraps it)

Karen: You have found a hidden immunity idol. This may be played to nullify votes against who it is played for at Tribal Council!

Sandy: This is great!

Karen: If it comes down to it I’ll use it, but nobody can know that I found it!

(Baranacle Boy, Mermaid Man, Patrick, King Neptune, and Hoopla are talking)

Hoopla: HOOPLA!

King Neptune: So who’s getting voted out if we lose tomorrow?

Patrick: I say Squidward. Like you said King Neptune, he’s a threat!

Mermaid Man: Yes, the boy is right! REMOVE EVIL!

King Neptune: The problem is that if we make a gamble like this now, there’s the chance he could pull an idol. So what if three of us vote him and two vote Pearl?

Hoopla: HOOPLA!

King Neptune: I’ll take that as a yes.

Barnacle Boy: So me and Mermaid Man vote Pear, the rest of you vote Squidward. Easy.

(Camera pans back to Calaga and in the left corner Calaga: Day Two can be seen)

Squilliam: (to Larry and Craig) so Don found an idol nullifier.

Larry: He did?

Larry: So Squilliam confronts myself and Craig and tells us that Don found an idol nullifier and I’m like what?

Craig: What do you plan to do about that?

Squilliam: I’m going to orchestrate his elimination, but the get him to will the advantage to me.

Craig: Aight mate.

Craig: Squilliam is a jerk. Strategically I can see why he’s doing what he’s doing, but other then that it’s just rude. So that’s why I’m going to blindside him.

(Craig and Larry walk away)

Craig: We have to get rid of him. So I’m gonna tell Don.

Larry: Makes sense. If we can get everyone against him, this could be a unanimous decision!

(Larry walks over to Don who is talking with SquidClone and Plankton)

Larry: Hey Don, Squilliam is trying to get you voted out.

Don: What? Why?

Larry: Don’t know.

SquidClone: Wow what a jerk.

Don: I aligned with him and he seriously turned on me this easily?

Don: So Larry tells me that Squilliam wants me out, and I think that he’s gonna go out tonight. At least five of us are voting him.

(Camera pans to Maja and SpongeBob)

Maja: SpongeBob, who should we vote if we lose?

SpongeBob: How about Craig? He’s strong and the biggest threat!

Maja: Yeah makes sense.

(Camera goes black, and then comes back up as the tribes are walking into their first immunity challenge)

Mr. Craps: Welcome Calaga and Juku! This is your first immunity challenge! Just remember that I stole these idols from the real show!

Squidward: Wait what?

Mr. Craps: Anyways, let me explain your challenge.

(Camera reveals the challenge)

Mr. Craps: So for today’s challenge, immunity is up for grabs. The challenge today: there are ten ropes hanging from two beams, one for each member of your tribe. Each tribe member will grab hold of a rope, and try to keep us down while pulling against a 30 pound weight. If you let go of the rope, the weight will slide onto a pressure plate that will dump water on you when it reaches 300 pounds. Whichever tribe gets to 300 pounds first will be up for elimination at Tribal Council tonight. Everyone please grab a rope.

(Everyone grabs a rope, but don’t pull down yet)

Mr. Craps: Ready, set, pull!

(Everyone pulls down, but Mermaid Man immediately lets go, dropping his weight onto the pressure plate)

Mermaid Man: This challenge is EVIL!

Hoopla: HOOPLA!

(Hoopla lets go adding another weight to Juku’s plate)

Mr. Craps: And that’s two down for Juku!

(Barnacle Boy drops)

Mr. Craps: Three down for Juku! Can Calaga keep this amazing lead?

(Squilliam and Plankton drop)

Mr. Craps: And as if the magic words were said, two from Calaga drop.

Plankton: It’s not fair! I’m so small!

SquidClone: Life isn’t fair, Plankton.

(SquidClone drops)

SquidClone: Come on!

Mr. Craps: Now it’s an even game once more, seven on both sides.

(Maja drops)

Mr. Craps: Maja drops, giving Juku the advantage!

(Mrs. Puff drops)

Mr. Craps: Mrs. Puff drops, once again balancing the game!

(10 minutes pass)

Mr. Craps: Ten minutes have passed, and you can see the stress in everyone’s face. Now it’s only a question of who’s going to drop next.

(SpongeBob and Man Ray drop)

Mr. Craps: SpongeBob and Man Ray! Juku has an advantage once more!

Man Ray: Oh no!

SpongeBob: Well, we tried!

(Squidward drops)

Mr. Craps: Squidward drops! Now it’s 5 - 4 out there, and-

(Mr. Krabs drops)

Mr. Craps: 5 - 3! Juku might have this one in the bag!

(Pearl drops)

Mr. Craps: Pearl has dropped, and thirty minutes have passed.

Pearl: Already?

(Craig drops)

Mr. Craps: And there goes Craig!

(Don drops)

Mr. Craps: Followed by Don! If Larry drops, Vuku wins!

(Karen drops)

Mr. Craps: Karen drops, Larry can still win this!

(Larry’s arms give way and he drops)

Mr. Craps: And with that, Juku wins again!

(The Calaga tribe gets doused in water)

Mr. Craps: Juku, please come receive your idol, you are spared from Tribal Council.

(Karen grabs the idol and Juku walks away)

Mr. Craps: Calaga, tonight you’ll be visiting Tribal Council where one of you will be the first person voted out of my Survivor. Suckers.

(Camera pans to Calaga and in the left corner Calaga: Day Three can be seen)

SquidClone: So we lost, and I know that five of us are voting Squilliam. So I’m trying to convince SpongeBob to vote him as well.

(SpongeBob, Mr. Krabs, and Maja are talking)

SquidClone: Guys, we gotta get rid of Squilliam.

Maja: Why?

SquidClone: He’s a rude backstabbing jerk!

Maja: So SquidClone sounds crazy right now, but I’ll go with it since everyone else is voting Squilliam.

Maja: Yeah, I’ll vote him.

SpongeBob: Count me in.

Mr. Krabs: Yeah best to vote with the numbers.

(Camera pans to Squilliam and Craig)

Squilliam: So we’re voting Don right?

Craig: Yeah.

Craig: So Squilliam is a strategic genius. Which is why I need him to stay in.

Craig: Word is that you’re getting voted.

Squilliam: What? Says who?

Craig: Literally everyone. I’m telling you because I think we should vote Don.

Squilliam: Bomb dropped. I’m gonna have to vote Don still with Craig.

(Squilliam walks to the campfire where Larry, SpongeBob, Mr. Krabs, Don, and SquidClone are)

Squilliam: So now you guys are voting me?

Don: What?! How did you know?! Who told you?!

Squilliam: (points at Craig who’s getting water) him.

Don: Well I think we should all vote him because he broke that trust. Don’t tell the others, because they might tell him. This will be the perfect blindside.

SquidClone: Yeah, we got this!

SquidClone: This is a confusing mess and we’re about to go to Tribal. I think my vote is going to stay on Squilliam, and I hope others vote him too.

(Dramatic music beings and the camera shows the sunset followed by Calaga walking to Tribal Council; everyone starts sitting down)

Mr. Craps: Welcome Calaga to Tribal Council. Tonight somebody will be the first person voted out of my Survivor. Also if you are voted out, I will make a mark on you. So SquidClone, how do you feel after losing both challenges out there today?

SquidClone: I feel like we definitely tried our hardest.

Mr. Craps: Craig, do you feel like tonight is just going to be an easy vote?

Craig: Yes, for sure. I feel like the person I’m targeting knows I’m targeting them.

Squilliam: And who’s that?

Craig: I’m not just going to up and say who I’m targeting Squilliam:

Don: Kinda funny considering you ruined the plan.

Craig: What?

Don: Squilliam told us that you told him about our plan. You broke our trust!

Craig: Why would he lie like that?

Mr. Craps: Craig, any particular strategy in allegedly telling Squilliam a plan?

Craig: Yes, if he stays in it I can go further.

Mr. Craps: SpongeBob, how do you feel about this?

SpongeBob: I’m ready to vote whoever necessary in order to stay in.

Squilliam: Yeah, so Craig right?

Craig: I’m confused Squilliam. I broke the plan to help you and now you want me out?

Don: Yeah just saying.

Squilliam: I don’t have to explain myself god.

Mr. Craps: Squilliam, is anybody here really safe?

Squilliam: Yes. Some people haven’t really communicated or done anything to put the spotlight on themselves.

Mr. Craps: Well it is now time to vote. Man Ray, you’re up.

(Voting montage plays, and reveals Squilliam voting Craig and Craig voting Squilliam)

Mr. Craps: It is now time to read the votes. If anybody has a hidden immunity idol and would like to play it, now would be the time to do so.

(Mr. Craps opens the first slip)

Mr. Craps: First vote, Craig. (Reads next slip) Craig, that’s two votes Craig. Squilliam. Squilliam. That’s two votes Craig, two votes Squilliam. Craig. Craig. That’s four votes Craig, two votes Squilliam. Squilliam. Squilliam. That’s four votes Craig, four votes Squilliam. (Removes slip) First person voted out at Tribal Council,

(Long pause)

Mr. Craps: Squilliam. Please bring your torch, your time is up.

(Mr. Craps puts out Squilliam’s torch and then cuts his arm)

Squilliam: WHAT THE HELL!

Mr. Craps: I must feed my blood lust.

(Calaga walks on the beach and episode shows who voted who)

Votes for Craig - Squilliam, SpongeBob, Mr. Krabs, and Larry.

Votes for Squilliam - Craig, Don, Maja, SquidClone, Plankton, and Man Ray.

Squilliam: Even though I got out pretty early, this was a good experience for me. Hopefully Craig will get out next!