Flame War

Flame War is the 3rd episode of (pat)Rick Figures.

Transcript
(SpongeBob and Patrick are both on a dropzone in their Roflcopter.)

Patrick: All right! We're over the dropzone! The objective is somewhere inside! Stay frosty!

SpongeBob:  (pounds his fist into his other hand) Let's pwn some noobs!

Patrick: This is gonna be awesoooooooome!

(They jump overboard. SpongeBob screams.)

Patrick: Yeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

(SpongeBob uses his parachute. However, Patrick doesn't appear to have one and crashes through the Barg'nmart.)

Patrick: Oooooh!

(Camera zooms into Barg'nmart's front door. There are posters with Flame War.) 

(Meanwhile, Patrick crashes into Barg'nmart's floor and leaves a self-print on it. He stands up immediately.)

Patrick: Yeah!

(SpongeBob drops down gently with his parachute. Bullets started to fire at them.)

SpongeBob: It's a trap!

Patrick: Desolate! (They run away. Patrick fires his rifle at the enemies.) Pew! Pew! Pew, God mode turn on! I think they're fucking hacking!!

(They both jump behind some sacks.)

Patrick and SpongeBob: Ugh! (Patrick puts out his head. SpongeBob follows but only half his head is visible.)

Patrick: Activating day vision goggles! (Uses a pair of binoculars.)

SpongeBob: Those are binoculars.

(Patrick tries to find the game with his binoculars and sees random fights, shoppers shoot bullets at each other with rifles, bazookas, a tank, etc. A hand grenade is placed on a sack, and before the shoppers can run for it, they explode, Patrick then finds it.)

Patrick: SpongeBob, there it is! The best video game ever released!

(SpongeBob looks into the other side of the binoculars.)

SpongeBob: And there's only one copy?!

Patrick: (deep voice) And it's mine. (He loads a shotgun.) Click click. (He and SpongeBob jump out of the sacks and runs for the video game.) Die HAXORS! (Shoots a guy with his shotgun but misses, he then throws two ninja stars at a guy with side burns in the eyes. SpongeBob shoots a top hat man with his sniper, Patrick uses a flame thrower and yells.) LET 'EM BURN!

(SpongeBob hides behind a plant and sees a pink woman.)

Woman: Wow. I love a man in uniform.

SpongeBob: Thank- (clears throat hard), thanks. You think that's something? Watch this! (Aims his scope at an elderly man. He tries to shoot him but the magazine falls off.) Got 'em.

(Patrick goes on a killing spree. He jumps over a table landing on his back shooting a man who follows him. Patrick then hops on a guy with sunglasses locking his head between his knees and twisting his neck while shooting another man in the face with a handgun. Red rides on a skateboard while being fired upon by a machine gunner. Red picks up an axe on a passing table, hacking a man and throwing the axe at what appears to be a shield that ricochets right at the gunner's head.)

SpongeBob: So...you come here a lot?

Woman: No, I just got off work.

SpongeBob: WOW, you're successful.

(The camera goes back to Patrick, when a man with an eye patch approaches behind him he shoots him.)

Patrick: BOOM, headshot! (Another man approaches in front of him and Patrick hits him with the shotgun.) Killing spree! (A third man comes in front of Patrick, and Patrick drives the shotgun through the man's head.) Death riot! (A knight of some sort comes in front of Patrick and tries to kill him, but Patrick lifts him up and tears him into two pieces.) Kill-tacular! (Jumps into the air and suddenly a Batman costume comes out of nowhere and he wields it.) I'm Patman!! (Gets closer and closer to the game.)

Woman: Well... I better be going.

SpongeBob: Oh, let me walk you out. (Deep voice) We need to be careful. There's Charlie in the bushes.

(The camera looks at the bush where a gnome is sitting.)

Gnome: My name's Jake.

Woman: I think I'm okay...(walks away)

SpongeBob: (whispering) Frack!

(Patrick breaks the glass case surrounding the game)

(SpongeBob throws a grenade towards the woman)

SpongeBob: Look out! (Tackles her in an attempt to make himself look heroic.)

(The grenade explodes)

(Patrick slowly reaches for the game)

SpongeBob: (SpongeBob pulls his face out of Sandy's boobs) Oh, my God, I saved your life! Looks like you owe me dinner or something, ri-- Is this how this works?

Woman: Sure. How 'bout Friday?

SpongeBob: (to himself happily) Yessss.

Patrick: (holding up the game) Yeeeeeeeeeeeeessss!

SpongeBob: Well, I guess I'll... see you Fri-

Patrick: (running toward SpongeBob) We gotta get outta here, dude!

SpongeBob: Why?

Patrick: "C4" yourself!

(The camera shows a large pile of C4 bombs)

(Patrick fires a grappling hook, grabs SpongeBob, and they swing out of the store and into the Roflcopter. The store explodes.)

Patrick: OVERKILL!

(Sandy gets out of the store with rubble on her clothes, frustrated)

Woman: Dicks.

(Patrick and SpongeBob are sitting on the couch. Patrick is holding the game.)

Patrick: (opens the game box) Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. (takes the disk out) Oh, man. Oh, man. (inserts the game into a console) Oh, man! Oh, man. Oh, man. (Red and Blue are both holding controllers.) It's starting! (Red gasps).

(LEVEL 01: TEH FORUM appears on the screen. It then shows the game, which is a Roflcopter shooting at various Internet memes (such as Trollface), YouTube viral video pics, Angry Birds pictures, Microsoft and others (like 4chan and Google Chrome). Patrick and SpongeBob sit with shocked expressions on their faces. Patrick starts fighting the firstboss, Pedobear, originally found on 4chan.)

Patrick: LEEROOOOOYYYY JEE--

Soundtrack
Pre-hibernation - Title card.