Political "Sandals"

Political "Sandals" is the fourth episode of ''The Algae's Always Greener. ''The previous episode was "假社会主义" and the following one is to be announced.

Characters

 * Plankton
 * Jesus Sandal
 * Sandy
 * Nat Peterson
 * Fillary Puff
 * Bonald Hump
 * Squidward (mentioned)
 * Travis (mentioned)
 * Bartender

Plot
Sandy, Jesus, Fillary Puff, and Bonald Hump attempt to frame Plankton because he refused to increase their wages.

Transcript
The Parliament is now holding its third assembly, but something special will happen today…

PARLIAMENT OF THE TYRANNY OF….I MEAN, DEMOCRATIC REPUBLIC OF BOTTOMITE STATES

“The third republican assembly is now in session!,” the Squire said. The national anthem was played, and the representative were chatting (especially Jesus Sandal and Sandy “Sandal”)

“Ahem….,” Plankton said down to his chair at the front. “This job is making me sick....now get ready and nag me...uh, I mean...present me the issues of the nation!”.

“Oh yes…,” Jesus Sandal retorted, “WE’RE IN DEBT! Find us a solution, for the people!”.

“Cut your wages,” Plankton replied calmly

“Excuse me?,” Jesus Sandal asked.

“You know...saw off your salary in half, the millions of dollars will be spent on keeping the order, education, industry, on and on. And we can also erase those corporate tax loopholes!,” Plankton said.

“You...CAN’T do that!,” the entire parliament screamed.

“OUCH! Yes I can, I am the Honorable Chairman of the People’s Party as well as the head of state and government in this oppressive communist dictatorship...uh, I meant....democratic republic,” Plankton responded.

“Oh yeah...uh...mhm….WE’LL IMPEACH YOU!,” Jesus shouted back to Plankton and the court.

The representatives started chatting loudly and then repeatedly stated, “Down with Plankton” and “Impeach the Traitor!”.

But Plankton was calm and snug, chuckling. “Who do you expect to replace me?”

“Yes…,” Sandy spoke up, and moved, presenting two odd-looking fish. “May I present to you, Fillary Puff and Bonald Hump!,” she said gleefully.

“Okay….,” Plankton laughed, “You people are part of the most richest parties in the world and you came up with these two! HAHAHAHAH HARDY HAR HAR!”.

“But the senate votes.,” Sandy smirked.

Plankton just gulped. The representatives were looking evilly at him, seeing how they aren’t part of the commoners anymore. It’s just what he has learned in his ninth-grade government class...politicians will forget the needs of the people. Just then, he ran off to the library.

AT THE REPUBLICAN LIBRARY

“Let’s see...I shall view a copy of here it is, a copy of the Constitution of Bottomite States!,” Plankton spent all night carefully reading the documents. “Mmmm...mhm...ye….heeeee….OH YEAH BABY!” he shouted as he found something. The librarian told him to be quiet. “DON’T SHUSH YOUR HONORABLE CHAIRMAN!” Plankton shouted back.

THE NEXT WEEK AT PARLIAMENT

“Okay, you can be all snug now, but prepare for what I’m about to read you…,” Plankton said dryly, “according to Article 6 of the Republican General Law, all elections and depositions of the the people are to be decided by the common populace, and the parliament is forbidden to vote unless they get approval from them.”.

The entire court was silent. Fillary Puff then stood up. “I bet the population would have more votes for that spray tanned Bonald!,” she gleefully explained. Half of the court clapped.

“At least I don’t have thirty thousand e-mails unlike Crooked F,” Mr. Hump shot back. The other half of the representatives clapped.

“You people are degenerates who would think that a corrupt warmonger and a shady corporate official would be better to lead the people! I mean, why the actual heck is a buisnessman running for the highest office of a communistic republic! Wow, that’s just like...ugh,” Plankton said, “But anyways, let’s run the election!”.

Sandy was sobbing. “NO I DON’T WANNA LOSE MY JOOOB”

“Hardy har har,” Plankton mocked back.

“Laugh all you want, but I hope you won’t cry when you lose your job Jesus Sandal,” said Squidward, who was demoted from representative.

THAT NIGHT, AT JESUS’ MANSION

“Look, Fillary, how the hell can we rig the polls so you could win,” Jesus asked.

“I can...hmmm...we could bomb an embassy....or delcare war on a random nation, it would kill millions but would give us plenty of time,” Fill responded

“What about that private server of yours, you know, the ‘Puff Foundation,’” Sandy asked.

“Maybe I could hijack the Republican Government Website,” Fill replied.

“No people, this is way too dangerous, especially if it involves a crooked woman,” Bonald Hump intervened, “we could convince Parliament to build a wall on the border of SpongeBobiastan.”.

“Actually, we shouldn’t have Fill or the Sexist Hump doing some sort of major scandal,” Jesus said, “we could have a citizen break the law”. “I’ll go out for some beer at the gas station,” he then said, grabbing his coat.

“Wait, I got some pure red mist at my casino,” Hump replied.

“PURE red mist, isn’t that illegal?,” Jesus asked.

“Not if Travis creates it,” Hump responded.

"I'll go too, I promise not to get drunk by the buzz," Sandy said.

THE NIGHT, HUMP TAJ MAHAL, DOWNTOWN BIKINI BOTTOM

Sandy, now “drunk”, was acting like a pole dancing stripper, pointing her booty at the people walking around.

“What the...didn’t she drink like one sip of non-alchoholic beer?,” Trump asked in an awkward tone.

“You should see her with root beer,” Jesus laughed.

Just then, Nat Peterson entered the bar, sat right next to Mr. Hump, and lay a fifty dollar bill on the table. “Give me two red mists, light edition, and a pack of Old Man Jenkins’ Fine Wine and Whiskey,” he asked the bartender.

The tender gave him the items, when Nat suddenly had a full bladder and rushed towards the bathroom.

“Hmmm….,” Jesus Sandal said, and opened one of Nat’s whiskey bottles without permission, and slowly poured the pure red mist into the drink, effectively making it ten times stronger and intoxicating. “Oh yes,” Mr. Hump said. They closed the bottle in time, when Nat came back, drank the two cans of light mist, waited for the thirty minute drinking limit, and hopped into his car with the intoxicated whiskey.

THE HIGHWAY

A few minutes later, Nat Peterson was driving his boat towards Exit 69 on the Bikini Bottom Expressway when his favourite song came on the radio

“Here it is, Butt-Shaker, by the Sonars!,” the announcer said.

I am a butt-shaker Masturbating wanker Shake that real good, Tom Cause please never ever stop

He was enjoying that song, real good, so he decided: why not drink one little whiskey while driving. You know, a teensy, eensy, eeeeensy bit. Just after one sip, he was drugged. He broke the speed limit and crashed into a poll booth, immediately glitching the combined rates of Fillary Puff and Bonald Hump from 0.01% to 99.99%.

“Hehehehe,” a sly voice whispered outside, and crept out as the police arrived at the scene.

THE NEXT MEETING AT PARLIAMENT

“Now,” Plankton said, “show me the popular vote, you dumb fools!”.

“Gladly,” Sandy smirked, and showed the tally. “72.80% for Fillary, 27.19% for Hump, and...0.01% for Sheeeeldon,” she hissed violently.

“WHHHHHAT THE FRICKING MR KRABS WANKING PIECE OF CRAP IS THIS DUMB RESULT,” bursted Plankton, “HOW DARE THIS HAPPEN! ALL RIGHT, EVERYONE HERE, EXCEPT SQUIDWARD, WILL BE SENTENCED TO DEATH!”.

“More like Fillary would do it FOR YOU,” Jesus said.

“WH-WH-I’M OUT OF HERE! SENTENCE ME TO DEATH TOMMOROW,” Plankton stormed in an emotional rage, willing to commit suicide if his nation doesn’t love him.

Plankton sped his car at 150 kilometers per hour, thinking if he could just get out and let a bus do the magic earlier. Then he passed the broken poll booth, “HA! I WISH THAT WOULD’VE JUST EXPLODED” he shrieked to himself. Then he saw a security camera just above the booth. “HOW FUN, I SHALL WATCH A CAR BE WRECKED, JUST LIKE ME!,” he said, by now in complete loss of his mental state.

He grabbed the security camera tape, drove to a secluded ghetto, and found a video player on the alley. After setting up, he played the video, trying to chew and swallow his hand as a snack.

On The Tape - [10/30/16 - 10:11:37 PM] Nat Peterson was found severely intoxicated inside the car, and when the ambulance doctors carried him on a stretcher, he saw a face running a way from the scene

“Huh, what the hell,” Plankton asked, apparently regaining his mental state. He slowed the tape zoomed in the face. “An engagement ring...a tattoo on his….,” he suddenly went silent, and shrieked so loud that a brain can’t even register the frequency, “JEEEEEESSSSUUSSSSSSS SAAAAAAANDAAAAAAAAAALLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!”.

PARLIAMENT

The chief justice and Fillary Puff were face-to-pace. “Do you swear in the name of Neptune, to take office of the first minister of Parliament, president of the republic, and honorable chairman of the Socialist Party,” he asked. Hillary replied, “I-”...she was interrupted by an angry Plankton, who burst through the door. “WAIT, CHIEF JUSTICE, I have something special to show you!,” he asked. “Ugh..fine,” the justice replied. Plankton stepped to the podium.

“You idiotic undecent degenerates!,” he screamed to the crowd, unveiled the recording tape to the crowd, and pushed it in a projector slide.

The entire tape was seen, and watched by everyone, including Jesus Sandal and Mr. Hump.

“Now, chief justice, what do you have to say, my honorable justice?,” Plankton asked mockingly.

The justice pushed Fillary aside to the floor, and made an order to terminate Jesus, Sandy, and every one of the representatives except Squidward’s term. “An election for congress would be held next month, and it better not be rigged, and I demand the congress to cover the cost of Nat Peterson’s treatment in the hospital, even if it means cutting your precious salary!”.

As the judge was leaving, Plankton was taunting everybody. “OHHH, YOU SEE THAT, YOU’RE GETTING FIRED, YOU FOOLS, OH YES,” he gleefully exclaimed. He took some red mist from his other pocket, and drank the whole item. Then he collapsed, unconscious, and the entire court stared at him. Jesus Sandal then chuckled.