Elderly Showdown: Squilliam Must Die

Son of a Witch is the 19th episode of Season 2 of Doctor Bugs's series Reckless and Retired.

It is the 41st episode overall.

Cast

 * SpongeBob SquarePants
 * Patrick Star
 * Squidward Tentacles
 * Sandy Cheeks
 * Mr. Krabs
 * Plankton
 * Gary
 * Squilliam Fancyson - (debut)

Plot
Squidward and Squilliam decided to finally do what they've always wanted.....a fight to the DEATH!

Story
[A mysterious man knocks on the door]

SpongeBob: (answers the door) G'day, mate!

Man: Are you Squidward Tentacles?

Squidward: (bolts to the door) We don't want anymore of your special deliveries, so GO AWAY!!!!

Man: No, I just have a letter for you......

Squidward: Oh, gimme. (takes the letter, slams the door in the man's face)

[He reads the letter; it says - “Dear Squidward, turn around”]

Squidward: (turns around)

Squilliam: Hello.

Squidward: AHHHH!! SQUILLIAM???

Squilliam: I dropped by for a little visit.

Squidward: Good to see you. Now get out!

Squilliam: Aww, be nice to you're old chum!

Plankton: Don't take the name of chum in vain!!!!!

Krabs: Leave them alone, Plankton. Let's go to the kitchen.

Plankton: Oh, yay! Food! (leaves)

Squidward: Did you come to steal my girl AGAIN???

Squilliam: Sandy? Heck no, my young and crazy days are over. We're old now. Let's go play golf or chess.

Squidward: I don't play golf OR chess.

Squilliam: Then what do you do?

Squidward: I make out with Sandy.

Sandy: (enters) Hey, Squidward.

[Squidward and Sandy make out]

Squilliam: (mouth drops open) Rarr-rarr!!!!

Squidward: Sandy, Squilliam was just leaving.

Sandy: He doesn't have to leave just yet.

Squidward: Why not?

Sandy: It's nice seeing my ex-boyfriend.

Squilliam: (kisses her hand) Good to see you, Sandy.

Squidward: Don't kiss her hand! That's my job!

Sandy: You never kiss my hand! You kiss me in other places...

Squidward: True, but that's not the point!

Squilliam: Good to see you guys are still together.

Squidward: (getting angry) I know you have ulterior motives, Squilliam!

Squilliam: You're right. I actually came here to fight to the death!

Patrick: Oh! I gotta see this! (pulls up a chair)

Squidward: You wanna fight to the death....?

Squilliam: Yes, and the winner gets Sandy!

Squidward: Whaaat? She's my wife! I got her fair and square!

SpongeBob: I'm a square! Dahahhahah!

Squilliam: You can keep her....that is, if you win.

Squidward: Don't you think we should ask her how SHE feels?

Squilliam: How do you feel, Sandy?

Sandy: I'm cool with it.

Squidward: SANDY!!!!

Squilliam: Great! Let's fight!

[Squilliam charges at Squidward]

Squidward: (punches Squilliam in the face)

Squilliam: OUCH!

Patrick: (eating popcorn) Good job, Squidward!

Squidward: This feels so unnatural....

Squilliam: (kicks him in the nuts, starts beating him with a cane)

Squidward: OUCH!!!!!!!!!

Squilliam: Hahah! Sandy will be mine!

Squidward: (picks up Squilliam, chucks him into the kithen)

[Plankton is making a smoothie in the kitchen]

Squilliam: (lands in the blender)

Plankton: (starts the blender) This is gonna be delicious! ….umm.....why is there so much blood in the blender?

[Squidward and Sandy enter the kitchen]

Squidward: That's Squilliam's blood.

Plankton: Really? (opens the blender)

[Squilliam's head falls out]

Sandy: That's brutal.....

Squidward: But I won!

[Squidward and Sandy are about to kiss....suddenly, Squilliam's head bites Squidward's toe from the floor]

Squidward: AHHHH!!! What the heck?????

Squilliam's Head: I got the last laugh!

Squidward: (kicks Squilliam's head out the window)

Squilliam's Head: Weeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!! (lands in the busy street) OUCH!!!