The Side Business

The Side Business is the third episode of the first season of Better Days, and the 3rd overall.

Plot
Krabs watches TV and sees that Side Businesses in houses are booming so he starts one in the retirement. He creates "Food Blenderz!" and it gets tons of business, including other retirement homes visiting!

Transcript
(Mr. Krabs is seen watching TV. A commercial pops up that grabs his attention.)

TV man: Do you wanna get rich quick?

Mr. Krabs: Yes.

TV man: Do you wanna get money without even knowing how?

Mr. Krabs: Yes.

TV man: Do you want me to get to the point right now?

Mr. Krabs: Yes!

TV man: Well, you could start a Side Business! These Side Businesses have been booming in recent years. Call us now to get advice on how to start your very own Side Business. Call 684-464-6969. Again, call 684-464-6969. NOW!

Mr. Krabs: OKAY! WHY ARE WE SCREAMING?!

TV man: I DON’T KNOW!

(He grabs his telephone and dials the number.)

Mr. Krabs: Hello, I’d like some advice on how to start my… Side Business.

(A few hours later, Mr. Krabs is seen behind a stand that says, “Food Blenderz!”. The place is set in the lunch room next to the lunch line. Mr. Shicowa takes a look at the stand.)

Mr. Shicowa: What’s this, Eugene? Starting a lil’ business?

Mr. Krabs: Of course. Apparently these Side Businesses are booming right now.

Mr. Shicowa: Cool. So, what you got?

Mr. Krabs: Pizza, spaghetti, fortune cookies, asparagus, anything that tickles your fancy.

Mr. Shicowa: Oh, boy! I’ll have… um… hmm… how about that old man over there?

Old Man Jenkins (sitting on stand): What a fox.

Mr. Krabs: How did he get in here? (Picks up Old Man Jenkins and throws him in the trash can nearby.) That’s where he belongs.

(Soon enough, Mr. Krabs gets several elderly customers.)

Mr. Krabs: Wow, maybe these Side Businesses really are booming!

Betty: So are these fangled Krabby Daddies!

Mr. Krabs: It’s Krabby Patties.

Betty: Oh.

(The office phone rings)

Mr. Krabs: Wonder who that could be for?

Mr. Shicowa: Probably another false report for Betty’s lost glasses.

(Mr. Richards picks up the phone)

Mr. Richards: It’s for you, Eugene.

Mr. Krabs: Oh! (holds phone) Hello, Eugene Krabs speaking… Yes… Sure, we can open my Side Business to your seniors… Okay… Bye. (hangs up phone)

Mr. Shicowa: Who was it? What did he say?

Mr. Krabs: It was the owner of the neighboring retirement home. He asked if I could set the stand outside so his seniors could buy my grub.

Mr. Shicowa: Awesome! You’ll be rich!

Mr. Krabs: I’m already rich, but who cares? I’ll be über rich!

Mr. Shicowa: Elderly high five!

(Krabs and Shicowa high five each other. The next day, at 7 a.m., Krabs’ Side Business is open for… well, business. Krabs and Shicowa are running the food stand)

Mr. Krabs: I hope I get lots of money.

Mr. Shicowa: I hope I get rich like you are like now.

Mr. Krabs: You definitely will after today. Just look at all those customers!

(They look at the sea of senior customers in the line in front of them)

Mr. Krabs: Holy fish paste! That’s way more than I expected!

(At the end of the day, Krabs and Shicowa count the money they earned)

Mr. Krabs: Nine hundred and ninety-one…

Mr. Shicowa: Nine hundred and ninety-two! Woah, that’s a lotta big cash dollars!

Mr. Krabs: You’re tellin’ me! Let’s split it.

Mr. Shicowa: I’m gonna be rich in no time!

(Later, Krabs’ Side Business is on Bikini Bottom and Kelp City News. Plankton finds out and is furious)

Plankton: Urgh! He’s still successful, even after retirement! I’ll get him someday, somehow. Maybe.

(The episode ends staring right into Plankton’s eye)

Plankton: Ouch! Get that camera outta my eye!

Appearances

 * Eugene Krabs
 * Mark Shicowa
 * Mr. Richards
 * Betty Grayson
 * Plankton (Debut; Cameo)
 * Old Man Jenkins (Debut; Cameo)

Trivia

 * This will be Mr. Krabs' first time running a business since his retirement in Season 70 of SpongeBob fanon.
 * Ironically, Plankton just left SpongeBob Fanon, and this is his series debut, but he doesn't get a recurring role until the 2nd season of the show.
 * The ratings for the original airing of this episode were 6.97 million viewers.