Golfing (TWOS Transcript)

Four!

 * (Patrick walks to Squidward who appears to be concentrating)
 * Patrick: Hiya Squidward. Whatcha doing?
 * Squidward: Trying to take my shot. Now get out of here your distracting me!
 * Patrick: Oh ok.
 * (Patrick walks off)
 * Squidward: Hmm i think i need an iron for this hole. (Patrick passes him a clothing iron) Why thank....Not that kind of iron you dolt! I thought i told you to scram anyways!?
 * Patrick: I'm bored.
 * Squidward: I don't care your distracting me. Go away!
 * Patrick: But........
 * Squidward: GOOO!!!!!!!!
 * Patrick: Hmph!
 * (Squidward is about to swing but Patrick grabs his club)
 * Squidward: Yeowch!
 * (Squidward falls over)
 * Patrick: Umm Squidward... you need to work on your aim.
 * (Squidward wacks Patrick with the club then chases him)
 * Squidward: GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sandy!

 * (SpongeBob hits his ball and it goe into the sand)
 * SpongeBob: Dammit!
 * (SpongeBob hits the ball but nothing happens)
 * Patrick: Tsk, Tsk.
 * SpongeBob: Like you can do better!?
 * Patrick: I could......
 * SpongeBob: Don't say it! As soon as this ball comes out then i will win this hole.
 * Patrick: My ball is already in the hole.
 * SpongeBob: Oh go on you start showing off!
 * Patrick: Look at my ball.
 * (SpongeBob looks at the hole to find Patricks ball inside)
 * SpongeBob: Oh who cares! At least you got a Triple Bogey.
 * Patrick: This is your 25th stroke.........
 * SpongeBob: You know what? Just shut up! Your annoying me now.
 * Patrick: Fine.....
 * (He leaves. SpongeBob is struggling to hit the ball)
 * SpongeBob: Freaking hell! This ball is driving me crazy! (SpongeBob hits the ball out of the sand) Yes!!!! (The ball bounces back and hits his eye) No!!!!!!!

Stop It, Patrick!

 * (SpongeBob is looking with binoculars at the hole)
 * SpongeBob: So if i use a driver i could possibly hit it in the hole but then it may bounce back. We shall give it a try.
 * (Patrick enters)
 * Patrick: Hiya SpongeBob!
 * SpongeBob: Oh hey Patrick! Long time no see!
 * (SpongeBob is about to swing)
 * Patrick: *cough*
 * (SpongeBob swings but it doesn't go very far)
 * SpongeBob: Oh thanks a lot Patrick!
 * Patrick: What?
 * SpongeBob: For coughing! Now my ball is right at the start!
 * Patrick: Your falt......
 * SpongeBob: I'm not the one who cough's all over your face!
 * Patrick: I never coughed in your face!
 * SpongeBob: Do we need to get the lie detctor out!?
 * Patrick: LIKE I SAID.......I NE....
 * (SpongeBob and Patrick get hit with golf clubs from offscreen)

Man Down!

 * SpongeBob: Ok so we are now 5 holes in. The score is +2654. I'm doing great! Ok lets do this. (SpongeBob bends down and swings the ball) Oh i might get somewhere! It's gonna go into the hole! It is! It's.....
 * (The ball hits a man who just seems to be walking. He falls to the floor)
 * Man: Ow..... i think i pulled something.
 * SpongeBob: Oh crap! He's down! Come on SpongeBob do something! (He thinks) Yes the ambulance!
 * (He dials 911. He reaches a woman)
 * Woman: Hello. May i help you?
 * SpongeBob: Do you have the number for 911!?
 * Woman: Your on it........
 * SpongeBob: What?
 * Woman: This is 911.......
 * SpongeBob: Oh thank the world!
 * Woman: So.........Are you going to tell us your issue?
 * SpongeBob: Issue.......Oh yes i remember.
 * Woman: Ok.......
 * SpongeBob: COME QUICK THERES A GUY WHO HAS PASSED OUT. HE APPEARS TO BE REALLY BLACKED OUT AND UNCONSICIOUS! COME QUICK!!!!!!!
 * Woman: Ok we will be on our way. Just one request though.
 * SpongeBob: What?
 * Woman: STOP SHOUTING!!!!!!!!!
 * SpongeBob: Oh but it's an emergan....(The woman hangs up) Hello? Hello!? Hell...
 * (The woman from the phone taps SpongeBob on the shoulder. SpongeBob turns around as he is startled)
 * Woman: So this is the emergancy then.
 * SpongeBob: Yes he is not moving at all!
 * (She checks his pulse)
 * Woman: Hmm he is still breathing so.......
 * Director: CUT! Seriously i don't know who hired this kid but he is a freaking genius. You must work for me one day. I'm telling you. Your gonna go places kid.
 * (The guy wakes up)
 * Guy: Are we done yet?
 * SpongeBob: Oh it was only acting. Silly me. I was fooled then. That was quite impressive. Oh well i guess i will destroy the camera in rage now.
 * (SpongeBob smashes the camera with a hammer and walks off in anger)