Starving Arti-Businessman

Starving Arti-Businessman is the pilot for "The Chronicles of Eugene.

Plot
Eugene Krabs tries to start a business

Transcript
(The episode starts with Eugene waking up)

Eugene : What a dream... I thought I was in a terrible spinoff.

(We cut to Krabs, dressed in formal wear)

Eugene: Bye Mommy.

Mrs. Krabs : My son... wearing a suit?

(Mrs Krabs faints as Eugene walks out of the door)

(We cut to Eugene, examining a to let sign)

Eugene: Well... it's a low price, why not?

(Eugene walks inside and negotiates with the unnamed businessman)

Eugene : Mornin' ol' boy!

Unnamed businessman : I'm twenty-two... anyway, are you here to buy this product or just mock me?

Eugene : I'm here to buy, ol' boy.

Unnamed Businessman : Did you just completely forget what I sa- nevermind. How much have you got

Eugene : Two cents and me tie. It's a collectors item you know.

(Dramatic music starts playing)

Eugene: Me ol' pa dropped it while being lifted up to Cuba! He went to the fish shop in the sky.

(Eugene starts crying. Record Scratch)

Unnamed Businessman : Yeah, yeah, just give me the damn tie!

Eugene : (Smiling) Here ya go!

(Cutaway to fish heaven)

Eugene Sr. : Krabs just exploited me. That's me boy! Businessman to the core just like 'is old man!

Fish God : I really wish I didn't put lust as a deadly sin, because I'm surrounded by cold-hearted BASTARDS!

(The Episode ends)

Eugene : Wait, come back! Oh, these are the credits.

(Credits play along with cheesy midi music)