Squid Saves Patrick and SpongeBob's Relationship/Transcript

Is an episode of Squid Saves the Day

Transcript:


 * We see Squidward's house in the middle of the night. A peaceful Squid jumps happily into his bed. He tucks in Clarry in and kisses it.


 * Squidward: Good night, Clarry. Tomorrow shall be another beautiful Sunday.


 * He is snug, until he hears the irritating sounds of SpongeBob's cries just nearby.


 * Squidward: That is, if SpongeBob doesn't ruin it. Not on my watch!


 * He marches his way over to SpongeBob's house and bangs on his door. SpongeBob doesn't answer. Impatiently, Squidward barges his way in. SpongeBob is sobbing his eyes out. Gary is sad because he hasn't been fed in days. Squidward yells into SpongeBob's ear:


 * Squidward: SPONGEBOB!! JUST SHUT IT!! I NEED MY BEAUTY SLEEP!!


 * SpongeBob: I'm sorry if I woke you, Squidward. But I'm dealing with some depressing matters right now.


 * Squidward notices SpongeBob is on the phone right now.


 * Squidward: Who are you talking to?


 * SpongeBob: *sobs* P- Patrick.


 * Squidward: What's the problem?


 * SpongeBob: PATRICK IS... IS...


 * Squidward: Just say it already!


 * SpongeBob: PATRICK IS DUMPING ME!!!

Squidward: Oh... well. I don't care. See ya, SpongeBob.

''Squidward returns to his bed. SpongeBob's eyes water. He resumes crying his loudest. Squidward twists and turns in his bed, trying to block out the noise with his pillow.''

Squidward: JESUS CHRIST!!! SHUT THE HELL UP!!!!

SpongeBob still continues to cry no matter what Squidward says.
 * Squidward: That's it! I have to do something about this.

''The next morning, Squidward kindly convinces SpongeBob to do some Jellyfishing to take his mind off Patrick. But Squidward decides to convince Patrick to go back to SpongeBob.''

''Squidward walks to Patrick's house and knocks on his... rock. The rock opens up and Patrick answers.''

Patrick: What the hell do you want.

Squidward: *with a smile on his face* Well, Patrick. I was wondering... do you miss SpongeBob?

Patrick: ...No.

Squidward: Patrick, are you in a bad mood?

Patrick: YES! LEAVE ME ALONE!

Patrick slams his rock shut.

Squidward: Damn. What a dick. Now what do I do?

Squidward decides to bring SpongeBob back to Patrick's house.

It's evening time, and Squidward walks SpongeBob towards Patrick's house.

SpongeBob: Squidward, where are we going?

Squidward: To Patrick's house, of course. You two are going to talk this shit over.</li>

SpongeBob: But he's crushed my heart before. I just can't handle it again.</li>

Squidward: SpongeBob... do you want me to sleep or not- I mean... do you want Patrick back in your life or not?</li>

''They make it to Patrick's house. Patrick answers Squidward's knocks''</li>

Patrick: I TOLD YOU TO LEAVE ME ALONE!</li>

Squidward: Hey, Patrick! Look! It's SpongeBob! He wants to talk with you!</li>

''SpongeBob blushes. He's just so happy to see Patrick again. Patrick gasps and slams his rock. SpongeBob begins to cry extremely loudly. Squidward just can't take the noise anymore!''</li>

Squidward: That's it! I am ending this shit once and for all!</li>

''Squidward bangs on the rock. Patrick angrily answers... holding a gun... pointing towards Squidward and SpongeBob.''</li>

SpongeBob: Patrick... please don't do this.</li>

Squidward: Can't you see? You guys had something special! SpongeBob loves you! And you have to treat him like trash?! He is caring, loving, kind, loyal, pretty and would do anything for you!</li>


 * SpongeBob falls deeply in love with Squidward. Patrick never had the guts to stand up to anyone's wrong doings. And the compliments made it better for him.


 * SpongeBob: Squidward, I love you. You are a much sweeter, kinder sea creature than Patrick.


 * Patrick: ...WHAT!?


 * Squidward: ...What... the f***...


 * Patrick: So now you're hitting on the squid, huh?


 * Squidward: But why did you leave SpongeBob in the first place?


 * Patrick: That SpongeB**** is always criticizing me! About how I never get him flowers or take him out anymore.


 * Squidward: You can't let that stop your relationship. You two are meant for each other! Now make up so I can get some Godd**n sleep!


 * Patrick: SpongeBob, I'm sorry. I just don't like the pressure and the nagging.


 * SpongeBob: I'm sorry too, Patrick. If that's how you feel I won't bother you anymore.


 * SpongeBob and Patrick hug and walk back into Patrick's rock


 * Squidward: Oh thank Neptune. Those two loveclams are happy again.


 * Squidward sees something in the sky falling towards him.


 * Squidward: Uh oh.


 * An elephant crushes Squidward and he dies.

The End