Ghastly Bottom

Ghastly Bottom is the fourty-sixth episode of the spin-off, Absorbent Days, and the sixth episode of season four. In this special, Bikini Bottom has become infested by ghosts, goblins, and haunting creatures due to the newest menu item of the Krusty Krab: the Ghastly Patty. Unless all the sauce is removed from the town before midnight on Halloween, the fish will remain immortal apparations. Can SpongeBob and Patrick reverse the fate of their city, or will the town become spooky forever?

Characters

 * Narrator
 * SpongeBob SquarePants
 * Eugene Krabs
 * Squidward Tentacles
 * Customer
 * The Flying Dutchman (Ghostly Voice)
 * Patrick Star
 * Fish 1/Voice
 * Fish within montage

Transcript

 * (the special begins with a black screen; the French narrator begins with a monologue)


 * Narrator: Ah, 'tis Halloween once again, the time of year for pumpkins, costumes, and above all, Halloween candy. Aye, 'tis true...unless you dwell under the sea. (begins evil laugh)


 * (the screen fades to a medium shot of the Krusty Krab at night, during a lightning storm; the camera cuts to a pan of the packed dining area, full of fish conversing and eating Krabby Patties; Squidward is seen standing within the register, surrounded on both sides by Mr. Krabs and SpongeBob)


 * Mr. Krabs: (looking outside) Yup, it appears we're not getting out of here anytime soon.


 * Squidward: Oh, just great! It could have stormed any night of the year, but it just had to storm on Halloween night.


 * SpongeBob: I know! My candy bag is aching for some trick-or-treating. It'll never get any at this rate.


 * Squidward: That's not what I meant! I don't celebrate Halloween, unless you count my yearly beauty sleep on this day.


 * Mr. Krabs: Well, I certainly celebrate Halloween, if you consider profit-counting a tradition. (holds up bag of money) Oh, 'tis a treat when the clientele can't get enough of the lad's holiday creation.


 * Squidward: Holiday creation?


 * SpongeBob: The "Ghastly Patty"! For some reason, the fish can't get enough of the scary flavors. They'll eat anything!


 * Squidward: (whispering to Krabs) Scary flavors?


 * Mr. Krabs: (whispering to Squidward) Eh, some sauce I found lying around in the cellar. It sells like hotcakes, though.


 * Squidward: (to self) Yep, I most definetly work here.


 * (the camera begins to pan downwards toward the Krusty Krab cellar; the French narrator returns)


 * Narrator: Harmless the sauce seemed at first, indeed. Little did the dwellers above know the history behind its creation...and potential of its evil. (the sauce is revealed in the cellar, and the narrator continues his evil laugh)


 * (the camera returns to the surface, where lightning strikes outside; a customer is zoomed in on, eating his Krabby Patty)


 * Customer: Oh boy. What flavor did I get this year? (bites into patty) Hmm. Let's see. It takes like...souls! (the fish stands up; his complexion becomes transparent, and he begins to float) Yes, I feel it! Souls!


 * Squidward: Krabs, it looks like the sauce has gone bad.


 * Mr. Krabs: Eh, whatever. At least their money's still good. What's the harm, anyways?


 * Ghostly Voice: (heard offscreen) What's the harm?! What's the harm?!


 * (lightning strikes the outside of the Krusty Krab; thunder sounds in the background; a fog enters the scene, and engulfs the Krusty Krab dining room among screams from the customers)


 * SpongeBob: Uh, Mr. Krabs, is this another light show?


 * Mr. Krabs: I don't think so, boy. This green fog, the comically-timed lightning and thunder, it can only mean one thing...


 * (a figure is constructed before the three, and is finally revealed to be the Flying Dutchman; the narrator is heard again)


 * Narrator: Halloween under the sea isn't the same without a few traditions, especially that of the ominous...


 * Flying Dutchman: ...Flying Dutchman! It is I!


 * SpongeBob, Squidward, and Mr. Krabs: F-f-f-f-...Flying Dutch...


 * Flying Dutchman: Yeah, yeah. We've been through this. Now, to get down to business! Normally, I'd be here this Halloween to strike fear into the hearts of all the Bikini Bottom populous. However, this year, I'm multi-tasking. It would appear that this year, a new item has been added to the menu. (picks up patty from a shuddering customer's plate; sniffs patty) Ah ha! This is it! The source of "The Forbidden Condiment".


 * Squidward: (to Krabs) See? Not the smartest business decision.


 * Flying Dutchman: It would seem this is what is causing the sudden appearing of all these ghouls in this town. (looks at customer that has transformed into a ghost; snaps fingers, transforming him to normal) (to Krabs) Where did you find this sauce?!


 * Mr. Krabs: In...in the cellar, your ghostliness.


 * (the Dutchman flies through the floor into the cellar, finding the sauce in the back)


 * Flying Dutchman: Hmm hmm. That would be it. (snaps fingers, teleporting Mr. Krabs, SpongeBob, and Squidward to the cellar) Looks like you've been playing with "The Forbidden Sauce", you three have.


 * Squidward: Yeah, I have nothing to do with this. See you later, goodbye! (zips out of scene)


 * Flying Dutchman: This sauce was placed here centuries ago by yours truly, after my service days within the Navy. In fact, it was four hundred years ago to this day: Halloween of..uh...


 * SpongeBob: 1715, your ghostliness.


 * Flying Dutchman: Thanks, I wasn't the sharpest at math. Anyways, this sauce was used as the condiment for our navy lunches. Afternoon in and out, the crew and I would enjoy the tasty wonders of this very delicacy. However, its wonders became too much for our stomaches, and we all soon kicked the bucket.


 * Mr. Krabs: Excuse me! Does that mean I can't make a buck sellin' this stuff anymore?


 * Flying Dutchman: Continuing with this story, once I became a ghost, I hid the condiment down here, hoping it wouldn't haunt anyone else.


 * (a flashback occurs, where the Dutchman is seen burying the sauce; years are lapsed, and a young Mr. Krabs can be seen constructing the Krusty Krab with the aid of others; he is seen unearthing the sauce with a shovel, and smiles, his eyes turning into dollar bills)


 * (the present day is shown, where Mr. Krabs is seen with the same dollar bills in his eyes)


 * Flying Dutchman: That sauce is so strong, it can make even the most fortuitous ghosts become undead. Thanks to you two, Bikini Bottom is doomed!


 * SpongeBob: Not unless I can remove the sauce from all the hungry mouths of the town!


 * Flying Dutchman: Alone? You're crazy!


 * Patrick: (offscreen) Oh, he won't be alone! (bursts out of barrel beside SpongeBob) I'll help you, buddy!


 * Mr. Krabs: Where did you come from?


 * Patrick: I'm a barrel for Halloween! (looks at barrel scraps) At least I was.


 * Flying Dutchman: Fine, you two can save the city. (pulls out hourglass) You have until midnight to do it, or else the entire town will be reduced to ghouls and goblins! (evilly laughs)


 * SpongeBob: Why midnight?


 * Flying Dutchman: (shrugs) It's cliché! (evilly laughs; teleports out of scene)


 * Mr. Krabs: 'Til midnight? (looks at clock in room) That's in three hours. You think you two are up for the challenge?


 * (SpongeBob and Patrick switch into their Halloween costumes during a very brief montage; SpongeBob is dressed as a sailor in a white tuxedo while Patrick is sporting a wooden plank on his head, with a hammer glued to it)


 * SpongeBob: And then some. Let's hurry, Patrick. No time to waste!


 * (the scene cuts to the dark downtown area, where the fish of Bikini Bottom have been reduced to ghosts, goblins, and other creatures; the fish that escaped the transformation are scurrying around, running from their mutated Bottomites; SpongeBob and Patrick stand a hill, watching the carnage below unfold)


 * Narrator: The yellow-and-pink duo were taken aback, for their dreams of trick-or-treating seemed bleak. The whole event knocked them both way off track; the two could barely speak. Yet, a higher calling beckons them, this very Halloween night. SpongeBob and Patrick, save all of them! Remove Bikini Bottom of this fright! (evilly laughs)


 * SpongeBob: Well, Patrick. You first.


 * Patrick: Oh, why do I have to go first? This was your plan, yellow man.


 * SpongeBob: (sighs) Fine. Just follow my lead.


 * (the camera cuts to SpongeBob and Patrick, standing in front of a vandalized door to a house)


 * SpongeBob: Well, it's definetly a start. C'mon, knock on the door.


 * (Patrick knocks)


 * SpongeBob: As we practiced, Patrick.


 * (the door opens, yet no fish is present)


 * SpongeBob: Uh, I guess we go in to (air quotes) "get the candy".


 * (the two enter the dark house, unable to see a thing)


 * Patrick: Uh, can you light a match?


 * SpongeBob: Really, Patrick. Right now?


 * Patrick: No, not that! It's dark in here, and I want to leave!


 * SpongeBob: We just to need to find the... (walks into an object) oof! Uh, what's this? It feels like...the sauce! Patrick, I find it!


 * Patrick: Me too. It's everywhere. I can barely move.


 * SpongeBob: (grunting) Now that you mention it, neither can I? (grunts again) I think we're stuck here!


 * Voice: (offscreen) Well then, I'm so glad you could stick around.


 * (red eyes open before SpongeBob and Patrick, and a fire in the middle of the room is lit, illuminating the area; a green fish is revealed, possessing a normal body, yet with the aforementioned red eyes; SpongeBob and Patrick scream in fear)


 * Patrick: (points to wall) Look, SpongeBob! On the wall!


 * SpongeBob: Huh? (sees box of matches) Patrick, this is still not the time to go. (thinks) Wait a minute. (stretches arm and grabs box of matches) It's now or never. (takes out match and warms it in fire; the match lights and SpongeBob throws it on the ground) There!


 * Patrick: Hmm. Maybe we shouldn't have tried this at home.


 * (the fire from the match causes the sauce to become lit; a hissing sound begins)


 * Fish 1: Well, that's concerning.


 * (the house explodes, and SpongeBob and Patrick are launched outside onto the road; the fish with red eyes is seen, lying on the floor, waving a fist)


 * Fish 1: Curse...you. (fist lowers)


 * SpongeBob: (high-fives Patrick) One down, my buddy!


 * Patrick: Yep! And only a gazillion more to go. Let's do it!


 * (a montage begins with SpongeBob and Patrick, trick-or-treating from house to house; each ghoul and ghost they encounter gives them sauce within their bags; the montage breaks to show specific moments within their venture)


 * SpongeBob: (receiving candy) Ooh, what lovely sauce, ma'am.


 * Patrick: Na ah! I got no candy! Where's my candy, woman?! Give me the goods!


 * (the female ghost whisks Patrick off the lawn with a wave of the hand; she slams the door on SpongeBob's face)


 * SpongeBob: Happy...Halloween?


 * (the montage continues)


 * Patrick: So, you got any of the goods or not?


 * (the ghost places an item into Patrick's bag; Patrick finds it to be a five-hundred clam bill)


 * Patrick: That's it? C'mon, sir!


 * (the ghost places the sauce into the bag)


 * Patrick: That's better.


 * (the montage continues, and ends with an exhausted SpongeBob and Patrick sitting next to a tipped-over boat)


 * SpongeBob: Well, I think we got all the sauce in Bikini Bottom.


 * Patrick: Yeah. Now everyone should go back to normal...eventually. I'm pooped. (takes out patty from pocket) I could use a "Ghastly Patty" right about now.


 * SpongeBob: Patrick, no! (slaps patty from Patrick's hand) It still has...the sauce. The patties still have the sauce! Oh no, Patrick! You know what this means!


 * Patrick: I'm gonna starve...again?


 * SpongeBob: No! The Krusty Krab is still in danger! C'mon, we need to save everyone!


 * (the scene cuts to SpongeBob and Patrick, standing outside the Krusty Krab; sounds of destruction fill the restaurant, and ghostly howls sound from the inside)


 * Narrator: It turns out of the two were little too late, and the Krusty Krab had already lost everything, all but a sealed fate. Despite the heroic actions worthy of boast, their beloved grease trap was filled with ghosts! (evilly laughs)


 * Patrick: Do you hear that SpongeBob?


 * SpongeBob: What is it, Patrick?


 * Patrick: Tight bars.


 * (the two enter the Krusty Krab, and immediately duck to avoid a flying ghost; destruction of all the tables and broken windows are present, and Mr. Krabs and Squidward are hiding under the tipped-over register boat)


 * (SpongeBob and Patrick crawl over to the boat)


 * Mr. Krabs: Did ye two save the town?


 * Patrick: Yep, even got good eats.


 * Squidward: Don't you dare! (to SpongeBob) Well, it appears you missed a spot. The Krusty Krab is still crawling with Halloween creatures. Ravenous, too. They eat everything, for Neptune's sake!


 * (a flashback begins, where SpongeBob remembers a line of The Flying Dutchman)


 * Flying Dutchman: That sauce is so strong, it can make even the most fortuitous ghosts turn undead.


 * (flashback ends)


 * SpongeBob: That's it! That's how we save everyone! (grabs his and Patrick's Halloween treat bags) I know what I must do. (zips out of scene)


 * Patrick: No, my candy! It's gone!


 * SpongeBob: (stands in center of restaurant and holds up bags) Hey, ghosts! You want the sauce?! Then come get the sauce!


 * (the ghosts turn around and murmur at each other; they zip toward SpongeBob hungrily; their collision causes a cloud of smoke to form)


 * Mr. Krabs: Noo! Me clintele!


 * (the smoke clears, and reveals the same fish, except cured of their ghostly forms; they awaken groggily)


 * Mr. Krabs: Woo! Close one.


 * Patrick: (sees a fallen SpongeBob) Buddy! (runs to SpongeBob) No, not on such a holiday as this! (sees piece of candy on floor) Candy? Ooh, fine. My friend needs it more. (unwraps candy and places it in SpongeBob's mouth, awakening him)


 * SpongeBob: We did it? We did it?! Yes, Halloween is saved! We saved the town!


 * (a green cloud fills the room, and the Flying Dutchman appears before the entire gang)


 * Flying Dutchman: (holding a clock, which is ringing) And not a minute to spare, ye two. The clock just struck midnight.


 * Patrick: Halloween is over?


 * SpongeBob and Patrick: We didn't get any candy.


 * Squidward: I didn't get my annual beauty sleep.


 * Mr. Krabs: (sees burning money) I lost all me profits.


 * Flying Dutchman: You know what? I'm in a celebratory mood. It's not every Halloween that the town is saved from a ghastly fate. (waves finger toward the clock, sending the time to eight o'clock) There, it's four hours in the past.


 * (the Krusty Krab is fixed and the clintele re-appear in the restaurant, eating the Ghastly Patties)


 * SpongeBob: What?! That means the town is in danger again!


 * Flying Dutchman: Eh, we'll fix it tomorrow. For right now, let's have a hauntingly-good Halloween! (evilly laughs)


 * (the customers transform into ghosts, and the entire restaurant, including SpongeBob, Patrick, Squidward, Mr. Krabs, and the Dutchman dance to Halloween soundtracks)


 * (the camera pans out to reveal a ghost-infested Bikini Bottom; the narrator ends the special)


 * Narrator: Ah, Halloween under the waters is quite different, ya see? And different for generations to come it will be. A horrible fate of the town was spared this night, albeit giving all the dwellers a fright. But in the end, it was resolved, the fish were all cured. That sauce won't reappear anytime soon, we're all assurred. So enjoy your day of tricks, candy, and fun, for it only comes once a year, then it's done. Halloween is certainly the year's best night, for it's the only time to dole a good fright. (evilly laughs)


 * (the special ends with a ghost, flying to the camera with a sign reading "HAPPY HALLOWEEN")