Crying Contest Transcript

SpongeBob: Guess what today is Patrick?

Patrick: What?

SpongeBob:It's the big crying contest.

Patrick: Why would you want to join a crying contest?

SpongeBob: I don't know.

Patrick: Practice with me! (cries)

SpongeBob:Okay uh.....hnnn.

Patrick:SpongeBob there's a bathroom right there (points at port-a-potty)

SpongeBob: I can't cry.

Patrick: I'll try and help. (slaps SpongeBob)

SpongeBob: Oww! Hey, that hurt!

Patrick: You didn't cry.

SpongeBob: Hmm...(thinks)

Patrick: You gotta use the bathroom again?

SpongeBob: No. I'm just wondering why my tears are gone.

Patrick:Yeah you usually are a big cry bay-

(SpongeBob stares at Patrick angrily)

Patrick: I mean a big uh...(thinks) strong hero!

SpongeBob: We're gonna have to try harder.

(scene cuts to Goo Lagoon)

Patrick: Hi-ya! (steps on SpongeBob foot)

SpongeBob:........Nope still nothin'.

Patrick: (ties SpongeBob's tooth to bike and rides bike)

SpongeBob: (tooth comes out) Nope didn't work.

Sandy: (walks over) what'chall up to?

Patrick: SpongeBob wants to cry for a contest.

Sandy: Strange, but you came to the right girl!

(scene cuts to outside the tank)

Sandy: This might hurt but your desperate.

(tosses SpongeBob up to the celing fan)

SpongeBob: Whoa-Whoa-Whoa-Whoa! (keeps spinning in celing fan then falls back onto tank table)

Sandy: Did it work-

SpongeBob: (Looks at Sandy sad)

Sandy: Wait somethings happening!

SpongeBob: (burps)

Sandy: Ah darn.

(cuts inside SpongeBob's house)

SpongeBob: Aww we tried everything I guess I can't cry.

Patrick: Don't worry SpongeBob we'll think of somethin-(throws rock at SpongeBob)

SpongeBob: (sadly) Don't bother Pat it doesn't even hurt.

Patrick: Tarter sauce.

SpongeBob: Maybe Squidward will help.

(scene cuts to Squidward's living room)

Squidward: Usually i'd never let you in but you seem desperate.I'll play you a very sad song on the clarinet.

(plays clarient horribly in SpongeBob's hole)

SpongeBob: Aaugh! My ear! (busts out Squidward's wall and runs to the Krusty Krab)

(knocks on Mr.Krabs office door)

Mr.Krabs: SpongeBob what are you doing its your day off?

SpongeBob: I can't cry anymore.

Mr.Krabs: So...crying is not a good thing.

SpongeBob: But my conte-

Mr.Krabs: boy if you really want to know the key,slam your hand in me safe.

(walks over and slams hand in safe for three times)

SpongeBob: (looks at watch) Oh no i'm late for the contest.

(runs out Krusty Krab and runs to studio)

Patrick: I'm with ya buddy!

(runs with SpongeBob to studio)

Man: Okay next uh.."SpongeBob SquarePants".

(runs into counter)

Teen male: Tickets?

SpongeBob: I'm SpongeBob SquarePants.

Teen male: Go on in.

(SpongeBob walks in door)

Teen Male: Wait Star fish you can't go it!

Patrick: (shouts) don't worry SpongeBob i'll watch! One ticket please.

(runs onto stage)

Man: So are you gonna cry or what?

SpongeBob: Oh yeah uh...funny story you see I lost my cry but I can really cry grea-(slips on nail and falls on floor)

Man: Kid you okay.

SpongeBob: Oww that hurt (eyes water)......Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (keeps crying) Waaaaaahh!!!!!!!!!!! Waaaah!!!!!!!!!! Waaaah!!!!!

Patrick: He did it!

Spongebb: Waaah! (tears dry) And that was my act.

(croud claps)

Patrick: SpongeBob you did it.

SpongeBob: I wanna do it again!

Patrick: Okay (slaps SpongeBob on back)

SpongeBob: Oh no It didn't work.