Sold! Transcript

Here is the transcript for the episode: Sold!

(A customer at the Krusty Krab is about to take a bite of a Krabby Pattty but the patty gets sucked down to a hole in the floors, Mr. Krabs notices this)

Mr. Krabs: Oops, you dropped your Krabby Patty, sir. (notices the hole) Oh, no! A hole! (being sarcastic) I'd better fix this! (pounds a nail into the hole)

Plankton: OW! OW! OOH! OW! AAH! OW! (Mr. Krabs pulls the nail out)

Mr. Krabs: (laughs) Nice try, Plankton!, Back to the Chum Bucket lad! (throws him out and back over to the Chum Bucket)

Plankton: CURSE YOU KRABS!!!!!

(Plankton is lying on a couch inside the Chum Bucket, Karen comes in a door)

Karen: Hi, honey.

Plankton: GAAAH! Karen! You interrupted my resting! Where have you been, anyway?

Karen: Oh, I just went to the grocery store. (sets bags down) So how'd today go?

Plankton: Karen, can't you tell by the nail marking on my back? (Plankton turns around and there is a large cone-shaped skin extension on his back)

Karen: Well, if I'm correct, you are ready to hear my plan for "Steal the Formula Plan #1,175"

Plankton: Okay, what is it?

Karen: If you can buy the Krusty Krab, you can own everything in or on it, including the secret formula.

Plankton: (spits out his drink) That's just crazy enough to work! But wait, you said "buy?"

Karen: Yep.

Plankton: Well there's one problem with that.

Karen: What?

Plankton: (angrily) I HAVEN'T HAD ONE CUSTOMER!!!!!!!!

Karen: That's not the problem right now. We need to figure out how much that Krab will sell it for, THEN you have to start making money.

Plankton: But that krab would never sell it to me!

Karen: Don't worry. I know a company where YOU pay them. The current owner knows nothing about their sales.

(Plankton is calling a real estate agent)

Real Estate Agent: Bikini Bottom Real Estate, how may I help you?

Plankton: Um, hello. How much will you sell the Krusty Krab for?

Real Estate Agent: Okay, I will have to talk with Mr. Krabs with that.

Plankton: Okay. (hangs up phone, phone rings at Krusty Krab)

Mr. Krabs: Hello, this be the Krusty Krab.

Real Estate Agent: Hello, Mr. Krabs. I'd like to ask you how much you'd sell the Krusty Krab for.

Mr. Krabs: Oh I'd sell it for 5 billion dollars.

Real Estate Agent: Okay, that's all I need to know. (hangs up, phone rings at Chum Bucket)

Plankton: Hello?

Real Estate Agent: Hello again, sir. Mr. Krabs says he will sell the Krusty Krab for 5 billion dollars.

Plankton: W-W-What?

Real Estate Agent: You heard me, 5 billion dollars. (Planton drops phone) Sir? Sir? (hangs up phone)

Plankton: I guess I'd better get some money.

(at the bank)

Clerk: Next.

Plankton: Hello, how much do I have in my savings account?

Clerk: Please tell me your name, sir.

Plankton: Oh, Plankton. Sheldon J. Plankton.

Clerk: Hmmm, let's see. There is a balance of zero dollars and zero cents in your account.

Plankton: Ohhhhhhhhh....... (falls over)

Cerk: Sir? Sir? Next.

(on the street, Plankton has a guitar)

Plankton: Maybe I can make people give me some money by playing guitar. It always works on the TV shows. (starts playing APM MUSIC: Quest for the Best)

French Narrartor: One Week Later

(at the Chum Bucket, Plankton walks in)

Karen: So honey, it's been a week. How'd you do?

Plankton: Ugh! After one week, I only made 62 cents!

Karen: Well, might as well give up on this one.

Plankton: You're right! I'm going outside to get some fresh air!

(back of Chum Bucket)

Plankton: (sigh,) What can I do to get that formulAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (falls in a deep hole) Ohhhh.... hey! It's a treasure chest! I wonder what's in it? (opens it up) Hey, it's just pennies! Well, maybe it's enough.

French Narrator: 15,000 Pennies Later

Plankton: Ohhh! I've been through this whole chest, and I still can't find enough! Wat a minute, what's this? (notices 5 bills at the bottom) Hey! I can't believe it! It's five $1,000,000,000 bills! Yes! This will be enough! (speeds over to real estate building) Here you go, sir. I'd like to buy the Krusty Krab.

Real Estate Agent: Okay, sign here, and it's yours. (Plankton signs a contract, Plankton laughs evilly)

(at the Krusty Krab, Plankton walks through the front doors)

Mr. Krabs: (gasp!) It's Plankton! Go get him, boy! (SpongeBob goes and steps on Plankton)

Plankton: Umm, is that any way to treat your new boss?

Mr. Krabs: What do you mean?

SpongeBob: (laughs) Good one, Plankton! Everybody knows that Mr Krabs is the proprietor and owner of the Krusty Krab.

Plankton: Oh, I'm not joking. See? (shows them the contract he signed, Mr. Krabs reads it over)

Mr. Krabs: (gasp!) Does that mean...

Plankton: That's right! I'M now the proprietor and owner of the Krusty Krab! (goes outside, Mr. Krabs and SpongeBob follow) There! That's better!

SpongeBob: (reading the sign Plankton painted over the Krusty Krab sign) The CHUM KRAB??!!

Mr. Krabs: (reading the sign Plankton painted over the Krusty Krab sign) A division of Chum Bucket Incorpirated??!!

Plankton: That's right! Now, as first order of new boss, I order you to give me the Krabby Patty Formula!

Mr. Krabs: Heh heh, okay, we'll go get it!

SpongeBob: We will? (Mr. Krabs pulls him into his office)

Mr. Krabs: What do we do, boy?

SpongeBob: I don't know!

Mr. Krabs: Wait! I got an idea! (picks up a book with the cover "A Krabs Documentary" on it and puts a paper on it saying "The Krabby Patty Formula") I'll take this book to Plankton, and you take the real formula and put it in the you-know-what.

SpongeBob: I am on it! You can count on me, sir! (runs into the freezer and throws the formula into a section of the freezer called: Ice Age Zone, DO NOT ENTER, EXTREME COLD)

Plankton: (Mr. Krabs hands him the book) Ha ha! After all these years, it's mine! (starts reading it)

French Narrator: 30 Seconds Later

Mr. Krabs: (to SpongeBob, who is looking out the window behind the cash register) I don't think he's buying it!

Plankton: This book is bogus! Where's the real formula?

Mr. Krabs: Ummm, uhhh, ask SpongeBob! (SpongeBob gulps)

Plankton: (bursts throgh the kitchen door) Fry cook! Where's the real formula?

SpongeBob: Uhhh, ummm...

Plankton: Perhaps I should put it to you this way. You give me the formula, or you can say bye bye to your job... FOREVER!

SpongeBob: AAAAAHHH! It's in the Ice Age Zone of the freezer!

Plankton: HA HA! Yes! It finally will be mine! (opens the freezer, sees the formula) Hee hee! Come to papa! (takes one step into the Ice Age Zone and he is frozen solid, Mr. Krabs comes into the freezer)

Mr. Krabs: So Plankton, it looks like you finally won. By the way, what will you sell "The Chum Krab" back for? $1? Okay! (speeds over to real estate building) Here you go, I'd like to buy "The Chum Krab" for $1.

Real Estate Agent: How much did the owner say you could have it for?

Mr. Krabs: 1 dollar.

Real Estate Agent: Okay. (rips up Plankton's contract)

Mr. Krabs: WOOO HOOO! (runs back over the the Krusty Krab and paints tyhe sign back)

(in the freezer, Plankton is still frozen)

Mr. Krabs: (picks Plankton and the formula up with a crowbar, gives SpongeBob the formula) Here, boy. Go put this back in the safe.

SpongeBob: Yes, sir!

Mr. Krabs: So you really thought you'd win this time, huh Plankton? Well, you were wrong. (takes him out of the freezer and throws him back to the Chum Bucket)

Plankton: (muffled) CURSE YOU KRABS!!!

Karen: Well, how'd today go?

Plankton: (muffled) Karen, can't you tell that by the fact that I'm frozen stiff?

Karen: Well, if I'm correct, you're ready for "Steal the Formula Plan #1,176"

Plankton: (while Karen is talking) Ohhhhhhhh....

AUTHOR: SPONGE321