SpongeBob and the Catfish

SpongeBob and the Catfish is the fifth episode of the first season of SpongeBob & Sagwa. It was originally going to be the cancelled Valentine's Day special "Sagwa's Valentine". In this episode, SpongeBob stumbles across a pond that is home to the half cat-half fish fusion named Ch'in-Ch'in.

This episode is based on the Sagwa episode "A Catfish Tale".

Transcript
(The episode opens with SpongeBob walking down the hills in China as he cheerfully sings to himself.)

SpongeBob: (sings his theme song in the tune of the Flintstones theme song) SquarePants! SpongeBob SquarePants! He lives in a pineapple under the sea! From Bikini Bottom, absorbent and yellow and porous is he! (stops singing) Ah, nothing like a wonderful day to start off with some fresh air. I can't wait to go do some tai chi versus KAH-RAH-TAE with Dongwa. Also, it's been pretty quiet in China for a while. I wonder if the Jade Bats have given up... hmmm... oh well, I guess the answer will be revealed some time soon. Now, off to the palace!

(SpongeBob continues walking, then the screen zooms out into a transition of the image inside of a crystal ball. The background zooms out into Jade Cave. Bianfu-Wang is watching from the ball.)

Bianfu-Wang: Oh, for you are wrong, SpongeBob... I am still active in my evil agenda.

Siren: You tell him, master.

Bianfu-Wang: But you know, he is right about one thing: I haven't been coming up with any evil plans lately. What should I do to continue my reign of terror?

Siren: Well you're the supreme overlord, master. You decide!

Bianfu-Wang: No, I'm serious, Siren. Help me out here. Think of an evil plan for me!

Siren: (sigh) If you insist... hmmmm... (thinks for a few seconds before an idea pops into his head) I've got one!

Bianfu-Wang: Really? Tell me!

Siren: Why not start an invasion towards somewhere remote?

Bianfu-Wang: Hey, that doesn't sound bad at all! Where should we start?

Siren: Why not start... (swirls the crystal ball to show a background of a pond) here?

Bianfu-Wang: (confused) A pond?

Siren: Oh, not just any pond, master. It's actually a pond that is home to a being that is half-fish, half-cat. We can start some terror over in that place and maybe other remote places in the future before we can strike the village!

Bianfu-Wang: Well... I am still confused, but now I'm convinced! Excellent thinking, Siren. You earn another honor!

Jade Bat: Awwww, I'm so jealous of you, Siren.

Siren: Too bad.

(The episode pans to SpongeBob still walking.)

SpongeBob: I think before I go to the palace, I want to do something extra nice today. Maybe I should bring a gift! (gasps) I got it! Today's gift will be a lovely flower for Sagwa. Though I don't know where to find one. I'll go check the woods.

(SpongeBob enters a forest looking for a flower to give to Sagwa. He continues his search until he spots a pond with water lilies in the distance.)

SpongeBob: Water lilies! Perfect!

(SpongeBob runs towards the pond. But when he reaches it, the camera zooms out to see that the lilies are far away from his distance which SpongeBob cannot reach.)

SpongeBob: What? How am I going to be able to reach that far? (an idea comes to his mind) Wait a minute, I can extend my legs! Here I go! (extends his legs to reach to the lilies)

(Meanwhile, a large tree branch creaks as it begins to weaken. SpongeBob begins to reach for a water lily.)

SpongeBob: Almost there... (strains his arm for a ten seconds, before a grabs a water lily.) Got one!

(The branch from earlier breaks and falls to the ground, emitting a loud bang, which startles SpongeBob and causes him to lose his balance and fall into the water.)

SpongeBob: WHOA!!! (splashes into the pond as he loses grip of the lily he caught, then comes to the surface crying for help) Aah! Help! I can't swim! HELP!!! Someone please help! Sponge in danger!

(SpongeBob panics until his arms become tired. He then descends under the water and floats down gently to the bottom. As he floats down, he stops panicking.)

SpongeBob: Wait a second, I'm a sea creature. I can breathe in water, obviously. (hits the bottom of the pond) Oof. (looks around to the see the sights of the pond underwater) Wow, this doesn't look anything like something to see in Bikini Bottom. The environment looks completely different than what I'd expect. (spots a small school of fish) Hey look, locals! I'll go ask them for directions out of here. (walks up to the fish that are swimming and gets their attention, the fish turn to him) Hi. Excuse me gentlemen, but can you provide me with a way out of this pond?

Fish #1: Who's the talking cheese?

Fish #2: He must be a new freshwater species.

SpongeBob: Actually, you guys just stated a few misconceptions. First off, I'm not cheese, I'm a sponge. Secondly, I come from the ocean.

Fish #1: So you're a native saltwater species that's about to invade this pond?

SpongeBob: Uh... well... I come in peace.

Fish #3: Let's get out of here, guys. Maybe he won't evolve.

(The school of fish swim off, SpongeBob gets angry.)

SpongeBob: Well that wasn't a good first impression. All I asked for was a way out. (sigh) I'll do it myself. (walks around the pond to find an exit out) No exit here. No exit over there. Oh, this just gets trickier and trickier. Okay, calm yourself, SpongeBob. You can do this. You just have to be more vigilant and keep a sharper eye out of a potential path to the surface.

(All of a sudden, a couple laughing can be heard as it heads towards SpongeBob's direction.)

SpongeBob: What was that? Someone's coming! I'd better blend in! (disguises himself as a normal sponge)

(A catfish and a half-cat and half-fish fusion are swimming with each other, laughing and having fun.)

Ch'in-Ch'in: You know, Callo, spending quality time with you and our kids will always be my favorite thing to do.

Callo: You can say that again, Ch'in-Ch'in.

(Callo and Ch'in-Ch'in's catfish children spot a strange yellow sponge, which of course is SpongeBob in disguise, and get suspicious about it.)

Catfish Offspring #1: Mommy, Daddy, I see a giant yellow square with holes.

Callo: (looks down at the sponge) Wow, I've never seen anything like it.

Ch'in-Ch'in: Neither have I. Do you suppose it's a species we have never recognized in this pond before?

Callo: I'm not too sure.

Catfish Offspring #2: I'm going to poke it!

Catfish Offspring #3: Be careful!

(The second offspring swims down to the disguised SpongeBob and pokes him. SpongeBob twitches and giggles. Everyone gasps from the sound of him giggling.)

Catfish Offspring #1: Do it again.

(The second offspring pokes SpongeBob again.)

SpongeBob: (giggles) That tickles.

(Everyone gasps again.)

Catfish Offspring #1: Did it just talk?

Catfish Offspring #3: Again! Again!

Ch'in-Ch'in: Uhh...

(The second offspring pokes SpongeBob repeatedly as SpongeBob himself begins laughing. His face and body pops out as he is guffawing.)

SpongeBob: (laughing hardly) Oooh, I'm ticklish. Please stop! (stops getting poked by the second catfish child and calms his laughter) Thanks! What a rush.

Ch'in-Ch'in: Who are you?

SpongeBob: Huh?

Catfish Offspring #3: Are you a monster?

SpongeBob: What? No? I'm a peaceful fella who means everyone no harm.

Callo: You hear that, kids? He's harmless.

Ch'in-Ch'in: You must be new here. What's your name?

SpongeBob: Oh yes, introduction. My name is SpongeBob SquarePants.

Catfish Offspring #2: SpongeBob SquarePants? That's a silly name.

SpongeBob: Ba ha ha, thank you.

Ch'in-Ch'in: Alright then, "SpongeBob". It's a pleasure to meet you.

SpongeBob: Nice to meet you, too.

Callo: But one question: how did you get down here?

SpongeBob: Oh yeah, that. Well, I was walking over to a palace to play with some friends of mine. But then, a thought came to my mind to pick out a flower for one of my closest friends. So I chose a water lily, but then a huge noise caused me to fall into the water and now, here I am, stuck in the bottom of a pond, seeking a way out.

Catfish Offspring #1: Wow...

Ch'in-Ch'in: Goodness, that must've been a shocking experience for you, huh?

SpongeBob: Yeah.

Ch'in-Ch'in: Well then, allow me to introduce myself. I am Ch'in-Ch'in, and you've also met my children...

Catfish Kids: Hello!

Ch'in-Ch'in: And my husband, Callo.

SpongeBob: Hello! You must have a very great family, uhhh... what's your name again?

Ch'in-Ch'in: Ch'in-Ch'in.

SpongeBob: Oh yeah! Ch'in-Ch'in.

Ch'in-Ch'in: Thanks, SpongeBob. Now do you want to know how I ended up down here?

SpongeBob: Ooooh, do tell.

Ch'in-Ch'in: Alrighty then. Here it goes.

(The episode fades to a flashback of Ch'in-Ch'in as portrayed in the Sagwa episode "A Catfish Tale".)

Ch'in-Ch'in: One day, I was sitting by the pond reaching for a water lily to wear on my head. However, I unsuspectingly fell into the water and I was drowning. I called for help, but no one came, then I fell to the bottom of the pond. That's when I met Callo. While I stayed in the pond, I spent days having fun with him, until one day, I noticed a big change in myself. I was a normal cat before, but then I became part fish. Unfortunately, I had a family of normal cats I used to live with. But I promised them that I would always be in their heart when they came to see me in the pond one day and so, I started a family with Callo and we were a happy unlikely couple with wonderful children and a beautiful place to call home.

(The episode fades back to normal.)

Ch'in-Ch'in: So there you have it.

SpongeBob: Wow. Interesting. Well, it was nice to meet you guys, but I got to leave.

Callo: Wait! Before you go, why not spend some of your time down here with us for a while? The children love to play after all.

SpongeBob: Ummm... I think... uhh... aw, the heck with it? I can handle some play time with someone I can get to know!

Ch'in-Ch'in: Wonderful! Follow us!

(Ch'in-Ch'in, Callo and the children swim off as SpongeBob follows them. The episode pans to SpongeBob with them at their home.)

Ch'in-Ch'in: Okay, SpongeBob. Have you ever raced anyone before?

SpongeBob: Why, yes I have! (makes a reference to the SpongeBob episode "Pressure") In fact, I remember this one race to the Krusty Krab I had with Sandy.

Ch'in-Ch'in: Wow! Interesting. Let's see how well you do at racing me to the Shallows?

SpongeBob: The Shallows? Where are they?

Ch'in-Ch'in: They are located just near the edge of the pond.

SpongeBob: Alrighty. I'm ready!

Callo: But be careful, SpongeBob. Ch'in-Ch'in swims like a professional.

SpongeBob: Don't worry. I'm always up for a good challenge!

Ch'in-Ch'in: Excellent!

(SpongeBob and Ch'in-Ch'in gather a starting line drawn by Callo.)

Catfish Offspring #2: Go get him, Mommy!

Catfish Offspring #1: You can do it!

SpongeBob: Half-cat half-fish versus sponge. Competition for best swimmer. Checkmate!

Ch'in-Ch'in: Be prepared. It's about to get juicy.

Callo: On your marks! Get set! GO!!!!

(SpongeBob and Ch'in-Ch'in take off swimming. Ch'in-Ch'in notices that SpongeBob is swimming on his side by flapping his arms.)

SpongeBob: Can you do... the Jellyfish?

Ch'in-Ch'in: Impressive! Very impressive! (notices a large rock wall ahead of them) Huge rock ahead!

SpongeBob: What huge rock? (notices the rock) Uh-oh.

Ch'in-Ch'in: Don't worry, all you got to do is twist and turn to avoid the rock.

SpongeBob: Got it!

(Ch'in-Ch'in and SpongeBob continue swimming towards the rock. Suddenly, Ch'in-Ch'in twists and turns upwards successfully while SpongeBob exclaims as he crashes into the rock. He floats gently to the pond floor.)

SpongeBob: Ouch. (looks at Ch'in-Ch'in)

Ch'in-Ch'in: Are you okay? I saw you crash.

SpongeBob: I'm alright. (shivers as he gets up) How did you do that?

Ch'in-Ch'in: Natural reflexes.

SpongeBob: Wow... unbelievable.

Ch'in-Ch'in: Come on, let's keep racing each other to the Shallows!

SpongeBob: Okay!

(SpongeBob and Ch'in-Ch'in take off swimming as they get out of the screen to the left. The episode pans to the Magistrate's palace. Inside of the palace, Sagwa, Sheegwa and Dongwa are sitting inside, worried about SpongeBob.)

Sagwa: Oh, where's SpongeBob? He said he would be here a few minutes ago.

Dongwa: Maybe he just stopped by somewhere for a snack.

Sheegwa: Or maybe it's something even worse. I think he could be on a secret mission of his own... and he might be in grave danger!

Dongwa: Give it a rest, Sheegwa. Don't always assume for the worst possible scenario.

Sheegwa: No, I'm serious, Dongwa! Wherever he is, he may need our help!

Dongwa: Sheegwa, please...

Sagwa: Dongwa, listen. As much as I'd like to say that Sheegwa may be overreacting, I think she has a point. Besides, it's been taking SpongeBob a while to come here. So it looks like we have no other choice but to leave the palace for now and go look for him.

Sheegwa: Please, Dongwa? We can't just sit here and do nothing.

Dongwa: (sigh) Alright, fine. You convinced me.

Sagwa: Good. C'mon guys, let's go.

(The three Miao siblings leave the palace to search for SpongeBob. The episode pans back to the pond, where SpongeBob is playing hide-and-seek with Ch'in-Ch'in's children.)

SpongeBob: 998... 999... 1,000! Ready or not, here I come!

(SpongeBob searches everywhere until he finds three tails sticking out from behind a weed.)

SpongeBob: (sarcastically) Oh, I wonder where those cute little babies could be... I mean, it's not like they're behind a weed or anything, right? (tears the weed away) Got you!

Catfish Offsprings: You found us!

SpongeBob: (laughs with the children) Okay, your turn!

(The episode pans to the catfish kids finishing up their counting.)

Catfish Offsprings: 19... 20! Ready or not, here we come!

(The kids search around for SpongeBob. They look everywhere on the pond floor as they start to get curious.)

Catfish Offspring #1: Guys, where could he be?

Catfish Offspring #3: We're not sure.

(The kids notice a sponge with a face drawn on it.)

Catfish Offspring #2: Could that be him? He just set himself up for failure!

(SpongeBob flips from his other side.)

SpongeBob: How'd you know it was me?

Catfish Offsprings: Found you! (they laugh with SpongeBob)

(The episode cuts outside of the pond, where we see Siren slowly landing on a tree branch, watching the pond. Other Jade Bats land on the branch behind Siren to pay attention to what he is about to target.)

Siren: There it is, troops. The pond of Ch'in-Ch'in and Callo, astonishing legends from an old tale told by Sagwa's grandfather, Yeh-Yeh.

Jade Bat #1: Well, what are we waiting for, Siren? Let's dive into that pond and cause as much mayhem as possible!

Siren: Quiet, you nitwit! I'll signal the attack.

(The episode cuts back to the scene of SpongeBob laughing with the catfish kids. Callo and Ch'in-Ch'in swim up to them. Ch'in-Ch'in is impressed by SpongeBob's good nature with the kids.)

Ch'in-Ch'in: SpongeBob, I must say. You are very polite, competitive and cheery.

Callo: We think our kids just found a new playmate, and that playmate is you.

SpongeBob: Thanks. I appreciate your compliments, Ch'in-Ch'in. It's part of my character.

(The episode cuts back up to the Jade Bats preparing to attack.)

Siren: Alright. On the count of ten, we will unleash heck upon this pond. Gather around, troops. Okay, one...

(The episode goes back inside and shows SpongeBob pausing for a suspenseful moment. SpongeBob has a look of shock on his face.)

Catfish Offspring #2: Uh, mommy? What's wrong with him?

Ch'in-Ch'in: I have no idea. Uh, SpongeBob? Is everything alright?

(SpongeBob continues to stare into space looking shocked.)

Siren: Two...

SpongeBob: They're back...

(The family becomes confused and curious.)

Callo: "They"? Who "they"?

SpongeBob: Jade Bats...

Ch'in-Ch'in: What?

SpongeBob: Jade Bats!

Siren: TEN!!!

(After Siren says "ten", the Jade Bats start screeching and dive straight into the pond. A Jade Bat flies by as the family ducks from the bypassing bat.)

Ch'in-Ch'in: Good heavens!

Catfish Offsprings: What was that?!

SpongeBob: MAN YOUR STATIONS, RED ALERT, RED ALERT!!!! TAKE COVER!!!

(After hearing SpongeBob's cry, the pond residents begin scurrying and swimming carelessly in fear. The Jade Bats fly all over the pond looking for residents to torment.)

SpongeBob: But... how?

Ch'in-Ch'in: SpongeBob, who on Earth are those abominable, fear-mongering pests?!

SpongeBob: They are the Jade Bats! They're a colony of bats made entirely out of corrupted jade whose sole purpose is to destroy peace and prosperity in China and bring chaos everywhere they go!

Ch'in-Ch'in: How awful! We need to do something! (camera zooms out to notice that Callo and her children are gone) Wait, where'd my family go?!

SpongeBob: Come on, we need to go save everyone, including your family!

(Ch'in-Ch'in and SpongeBob take off as the scene changes to a montage of the two dodging and fighting Jade Bats, such as Ch'in-Ch'in swimming upwards causing two Jade Bats to bump into each other and knock each other senseless and SpongeBob karate-chopping Jade Bats. Eventually, the two pass by a cave blocked by large boulders.)

Catfish Offsprings: Help us!

(SpongeBob and Ch'in-Ch'in swim back after hearing their cries.)

Ch'in-Ch'in: Was that...?

Catfish Offsprings: HELP!!!

Ch'in-Ch'in: My children!

(Inside of the blocked cave, Callo is trying to get the kids to calm down from the horror happening in the pond.)

Callo: It's okay, kids. We're going to be just fine. I know it.

(Outside of the cave)

Ch'in-Ch'in: Hang on, Callo! Hang on, kids! We're coming in there to save you!

(SpongeBob and Ch'in-Ch'in push the boulders with force in order to clear the cave entrance. They struggle and strain to do so until SpongeBob's legs make one of the rocks budge.)

SpongeBob: (gasps) I think I just felt a budge!

Ch'in-Ch'in: Come on! Push!

(The two push the boulders even harder until the boulders start tumbling down from the entrance and roll deeper down the pond floor. Callo and the catfish kids come swimming out, happy to see Ch'in-Ch'in and SpongeBob.)

Catfish Offsprings: Mommy saved us, Mommy saved us!

Ch'in-Ch'in: Don't worry, kids. You're safe now.

Callo: Ch'in-Ch'in!

Ch'in-Ch'in: Callo!

(SpongeBob smiles at the sight of the catfish family getting back together, then looks at the Jade Bats.)

SpongeBob: I've got to stop them.

Ch'in-Ch'in: SpongeBob, where are you going?

SpongeBob: I'm going to go give those green demons a taste of their own medicine!

Callo: But how? It's too dangerous!

SpongeBob: Listen, I have known the Jade Bats for quite some time and I need to stand up to them and get them to leave this pond! It's best for everyone, including your family!

Ch'in-Ch'in: We understand. Go. Go save our home!

SpongeBob: (as he runs off) I will not let you all down!

(SpongeBob approaches the Jade Bats, ready to fight.)

Siren: Oh ho, SquarePants. Not a big surprise. I bet you enjoyed saving those pathetic pond dwellers from our reign of terror!

SpongeBob: Give it up, Siren! You and Bianfu-Wang shall no longer cause anymore harm to anyone in China! This is where the horror ends!

Siren: Haw, you wish! Jade Bats! Ready!

(The Jade Bats aim at SpongeBob, ready swoop down on him and attack him.)

SpongeBob: You want a piece of me?!

Siren: Charge!

(The Jade Bats swarm down onto SpongeBob, who evades their attack and then gets back up to continue battling them.)

Siren: Darn it! Charge again!

(The Jade Bats swarm towards SpongeBob again, but miss as SpongeBob dodges them again.)

Siren: How is he evading us?!

(For another attempt, the Jade Bats charge at SpongeBob again, but this time, SpongeBob begins to karate chop them in order to scare them off.)

SpongeBob: Hi-yah! Hi-yah! HI-YAH!!!

(The episodes shows a small montage of Jade Bats getting defeated by SpongeBob, until the very last Jade Bat attempts to fight SpongeBob, but SpongeBob looks at him with intimidation and scares it off.)

Siren: Impossible... IMPOSSIBLE!!!

SpongeBob: Not giving up just yet?

Siren: Nope, I'm out of here! (flys out of the pond) Great Scott, I can't believe SpongeBob actually defeated all of my troops! Oh, Bianfu-Wang's going to kill me.

SpongeBob: Let that be a lesson to you, Private Jade Bat!

(Ch'in-Ch'in and her family swim over to SpongeBob, congratulating him for his honorable actions.)

Ch'in-Ch'in: SpongeBob, that was so noble of you. You saved the pond from what could've been a disastrous event caused by such fearsome monsters.

Catfish Offsprings: (swimming around SpongeBob) You're our hero!

(SpongeBob laughs while the kids swim around him.)

Callo: We can't thank you enough, SpongeBob.

SpongeBob: I'm always glad to do something honorable and trustworthy for anyone who needs my help.

(The episode pans to a scene of SpongeBob leaving the pond and saying "goodbye" to Ch'in-Ch'in. Ch'in-Ch'in peaks her head out of the water, looking at SpongeBob.)

Ch'in-Ch'in: SpongeBob, I hope you continue helping others and showing everyone how heroic you truly are. Your actions have left our citizens astounded and perhaps, you may do the same with other civilizations.

SpongeBob: Thanks.

Sagwa: (voice in the distance) SpongeBob!

Ch'in-Ch'in: What was that?

SpongeBob: That was my friend, Sagwa. She must be looking for me. I'd better get going before she starts to panic about where I am.

Ch'in-Ch'in: Very well then.

SpongeBob: But before I go, may I have a water lily? You know, a gift to my friend?

Ch'in-Ch'in: Absolutely! (picks a water lily and hands it to SpongeBob) Here you go.

SpongeBob: (takes the lily) Thank you very much.

Ch'in-Ch'in: Farewell, SpongeBob.

SpongeBob: Goodbye!

(Ch'in-Ch'in dives back into the pond as SpongeBob waves goodbye. SpongeBob then walks into the forest. Meanwhile, Sagwa is still searching around with Sheegwa and Dongwa)

Sheegwa: SpongeBob?

Dongwa: Hello?

Sagwa: SpongeBob? Oh, where could he possibly be?

SpongeBob: (voice in the distance) Hello!

(SpongeBob runs to the Miao siblings.)

Sagwa: SpongeBob! There you are. Where have you been?

SpongeBob: Oh, it's a long story, but I'll explain it later. But I got you something.

Sagwa: Really? What is it?

SpongeBob: (shows his lily to Sagwa) A water lily! It's for you.

Sagwa: For me? Aww, thanks, SpongeBob.

SpongeBob: Don't mention it.

Sagwa: (puts the lily next to her left ear) How do I look?

Dongwa: I'll admit, that water lily makes you look very pretty, Sagwa.

Sheegwa: Yep, it does.

Sagwa: Thanks. Alrighty then, we should be getting back to the palace.

SpongeBob: Mm-hmm. Let's get going.

(The Miao siblings walk with SpongeBob back to the palace as the episode closes.)