ParodySponge: The Worldwide Christmas Special

ParodySponge: The Worldwide Christmas Special is the fourteenth episode of ParodySponge.

Plot
Jesus becomes upset that people are recieving gifts on his birthday, so he decides to put Bikini Bottom in a state of terror.

"Recovered" Story
It was Christmas Day, the people of Bikini Bottom spending time with their families and enjoying their new presents. Jesus stared at the occurences from the window of his cell. "Whatcha lookin' at, son?" God asked, placing a hand on his son's shoulder. "It's no fair! Why are all these idiots getting gifts on my birthday?!" Jesus complained. "It's your birthday?" God asked. "Your forgot my birthday?!" Jesus gasped, tears forming in his eyes. "Oh, come on! You were born over a million years ago! How the hell am I supposed to remember?!" God questioned defensively.

"It just seems that no one cares about me," Jesus sighed. "Probably because you're a power-mad psychopath," Jack said dryly. "Oh, you have no right to talk! You tried to take Patrick's hard work and pass it off as your own!" Jesus accused. "At least I don't try to kill anyone who doesn't like me!" Jack said. "Pft, that's no where near as bad as ripping off the genius stylings of ParodyMermaid," Jesus waved off. "Not to mention you made a rape joke in your fanfic! How can you laugh at rape?! That's disgusting!" Laci reprimanded.

"You laugh at rape all the time! Whenever someone of the male gender is sexually assaulted, all you can do is make fun of them! You never try to help them out in any way!" Jack pointed out. "Well, it's okay to laugh at rape. You just can't laugh at jokes about it," Laci justified. "Oh, you've gotta be kidding me," Jack said, shoving his hands into his face. "Still a weird to describe a facepalm," God commented. "You know what! That's it! I can't take this anymore! Those people should not be recieving gifts on my birthday! I'm going to show them who's boss!" Jesus growled.

"You mean me? Because I'm the boss here, not you. And I say you're not doing anything to the people of this ocean. It's my job to bring terror around the world, not your's," Sheldon ordered. "Well, too bad, buddy," Jesus growled, his eyes glowing red. "Your eyes are glowing red, that's weird. Seriously? Why the f*** are they doing that?" Sheldon asked, before the Green House promptly exploded. "TIME TO GET MY REVENGE!" Jesus grinned, laser bolts shooting from the palms of his hands and shooting the critizens of Bikini Bottom.

Suddenly, SpongeBob, Patrick, Squidward, and Eugene appeared in front of the religious figure. "Not so fast, Jesus!" SpongeBob growled. "And what do you want?" Jesus asked, crossing his arms. "You're not going anywhere! ...Without me!" SpongeBob grinned, quickly skipping over to the robed idiot. "Now let's destroy this place, Jesus!" SpongeBob exclaimed. Jesus rolled his eyes, quickly shooting a laser at SpongeBob and disentigrating him. "Whoo! Great job, Jesus!" Squidward grinned, clapping at the murder. "Could you do it to Patrick next?" he said, grabbing the starfish and holding him out in front of Jesus.

"Nope," Jesus said. "What?! Why not?!" Squidward questioned. "Because then ParodyMermaid would be cancelled!" Jesus shouted. "Fine then. If you won't kill Patrick, you leave me no choice," Squidward growled, quickly spraying his ink at Jesus. "You ruined my robe!" Jesus gasped, glaring at the octopus. He quickly grabbed one of the tentacles, shoving it in his mouth and beginning to chew on it. "AGH! What the f*** are you doing?!" Squidward gasped in horror and pain. "I've always loved calamari," Jesus commented, blood dripping from his mouth. "So, uh...Jesus. Since you're an all-powerful god and all...I was wondering. Could you make me rich?" Eugene asked excitedly. "Sure, I can do that," Jesus answered.

"You can?! Ooh, so you're gonna make me rich?!" Eugene grinned with joy. "Of course. I'll make you rich, alright. RICH WITH PAIN!" Jesus shouted, grabbing the crab and quickly beginning to nail him down to a cross, blood leaking all over his uniform. Matthew tip-toed past the occurence, trying not to be noticed. "I SEE YOU!" Jesus shouted, shooting a laser bolt at his helmet. The helmet swiftly burst into thousands of pieces, Matthew falling down dead. Merry Christmas, everybody!