There's No Place Like Home (ADWSS episode transcript)


 * (The episode begins with SpongeBob sleeping, he wakes up because of the noises outside, he goes to see what's going on, Squidward comes along but only to begin scolding SpongeBob)


 * Squidward: Hey SpongeBob, don't you know what beauty sleep means!?


 * SpongeBob: Well, after the hundreds of times you've told me, I've remembered, but you never told them. (points to workers, that are making a sign)


 * Squidward: Hey, what's the big idea here!?


 * Worker 1:  Oh, we're putting up a sign for a new mall in Bikini Bottom. It's gonna hold the record for "The Largest Shopping Mall in the Ocean"!


 * Worker 2: Yeah. Were gonna destroy these three houses right here for room, then we'll get straight to work.


 * Squidward: What?! You can't do that! I live here, and I will not tolerate this! Now stop working or I will smack you directly in the face, you got - (a police car comes by) I mean...... what a happy day that's full of rainbows!


 * Worker 1: Look, kiddo, if you want to stop us, there's only one way. You'd have to go to the town hall, where the plans were made. Then you'd have to tell the mayor what you think of this. But be quick, you only have one day before we're ready to take the houses down.


 * Squidward: Got it. (looks at SpongeBob over his shoulder, while the camera is zoomed on his face) SpongeBob, ready to save the residence of Bikini Bottom?


 * (Patrick walks into the scene)


 * Patrick: I don't mean to interrupt...... but do any of you have some mayonnaise I could borrow? I ran out of it.


 * (the workers look confused)


 * Squidward: Well don't just stand there, barnacle brains. Come on, let's go! And Patrick, I'll give you mayo if you help us!


 * (Scene: Town Hall)


 * (Squidward finds the door to the main room is locked)


 * Squidward: Great, we just wasted almost an hour of our Sunday getting here.


 * SpongeBob: Squid...


 * Squidward: I don't need your ideas.


 * SpongeBob: But Squidward...


 * Squidward; Be quiet, I don't need your help.


 * SpongeBob: Squidward, if you'd just let me speak for a second!


 * Squidward: Fine what?


 * SpongeBob: This is the staff only entrance. The one for citzens is behind you.


 * Squidward: (facepalms himself)


 * (they head to the citizen entrance and walk in)


 * Patrick: Wow, look at this place! It's so fancy! (Patrick smells a buffet, which he follows the smell of) WOW! A 50-course buffet! There's sausages, bacon, fries, ooh, even a Krabby Patty!


 * (While Patrick enjoys the food, SpongeBob and Squidward head into the office, to find a member of the city council on the phone.)


 * Council Member: Yes, that will be great. Yes. Thanks. Bye now. (He puts down the phone). Oh, hello, what can I do for you two gentlemen.


 * Squidward: I'll tell what you can do. You can start by getting rid of your plan for the new mall! You're going to destroy our homes!


 * Council Member: Whoa there. Settle down. I know you may lose your home, but really, that's the only place we can put it. All the other places are either too small or too valuable. But your neighborhood is the perfect spot because only three people live there, and it's quite spacious.


 * Squidward: I can think of more than TWENTY DIFFERENT PLACES in Bikini Bottom you could put a mall that size other than our neighborhood!


 * SpongeBob: Okay, Squidward, this may be a big issue but you don't have to yell at the top of your voice....


 * Squidward: Okay, THAT'S IT! (punches the council member onto the floor, and begins talking into the intercom, mimicking the council member's voice) I'm sorry, but the plans for the new Bikini Bottom shopping mall are now cancelled. We apologize for any inconvenience.


 * Council Member: (stands up, speaks into the intercom) Security, arrest Squidward Tentacles and his friend SpongeBob SquarePants for imitation, and punching me in the face!


 * (The police come and drag SpongeBob and Squidward out of the office, by the buffet)


 * Patrick: Boy, that hit the spot! However, it could of used more sauce. (He sees SpongeBob and Squidward being dragged into the police car) Huh!? SpongeBob....Squidward......NOOOOOOOOO! Don't hurt my 2 best friends! (starts attacking the officers) I'll get you Mr. Monster Man! Nobody hurts my friends!


 * (the officers fight back and put handcuffs on Patrick)


 * Patrick: Well, at least I tried. (he gets dragged into the car with the others).


 * Squidward: (sarcastically) Thanks a lot, Patrick. You were a (rolls eyes) REALLY big help.


 * Patrick: No problem, Squiddy.


 * Squidward: (sighs)


 * Officer Nat: You have the right to remain silent!


 * (they are driven to the jail very quickly, and get locked in a cell)


 * SpongeBob: Well done, now we're in were jail!


 * Squidward: Well, it was your fault!


 * SpongeBob: (angrily) MY fault? You were the one who illegally imitated the council member and got us arrested!


 * Squidward: Well, you..... you..... you, um.....


 * Patrick: Do you mind!? I'm trying to have a sandwich in peace....oh wait, I have no mayo


 * SpongeBob: Well the only thing we can do is wait....


 * Narrarator: (with card) A while later......


 * (Mr Krabs comes in looking for SpongeBob and Squidward)


 * Mr Krabs: Arghhh! Where are me two employees? They should have been at work four hours ago!


 * (He notices a yellow figure in a cell and heads towards it.)


 * SpongeBob: Ahoy sir!


 * Mr Krabs: Why aren't you at the Krusty Krab, me boy! The customers are hungry, so you two better get your butts in there!


 * SpongeBob: But sir, I'm arrested. I can't go.


 * Mr Krabs: Don't worry, I've had a little "talk" with the police, and you're free to go. (scene shows the police tied to a chair) Now get moving, my Krusty Krab needs to stay "krusty".


 * Squidward: More like rusty. (laughs)


 * (crickets begin to chirp, Mr Krabs lets SpongeBob and Patrick and Squidward out, and takes them away)


 * Narrarator: (with card) One shift at the Krusty Krab later.......


 * SpongeBob: (walks to Conch Street) Well, I guess it's time to see the remains of my home. (sniffs, then notices the houses are still there) What? (sees a sign that says, "Due to the illness of the workers, construction will be delayed for one day") Phew...... but that still won't solve the problem. (heads to his house and enters, he goes to bed)


 * Narrarator: (with card) One night later.....


 * SpongeBob: (wakes up) Good morning, Gary.


 * Gary: Meow.


 * Spnogebob: Time to get the suitcase out and head off.


 * (He heads downstairs)


 * Patrick: (waiting downstairs) Oh, no you don't! We're gonna get our homes back.


 * SpongeBob: Oh...thanks Patrick, but two people won't save the neighborhood.


 * (Squidward enters the room)


 * Squidward: But maybe three people can.


 * SpongeBob: Wow. Thanks, Squidward, for helping me, but three people is far from enough. Thanks guys, but I guess this is the end. (opens door to exit, but Mr. Krabs is in the way)


 * Mr Krabs: I'll help...... if I can deduct $2 from your weekly paycheck for the year.


 * (Sandy, Larry, and Ms. Puff come in)


 * Sandy: We'll help too. As a matter of fact.....


 * (all of the citizens of Bikini Bottom crowd around SpongeBob's house)


 * All Citizens of Bikini Bottom: We'll all help!


 * (all of Bikini Bottom run into the town hall and begin a riot for the rights of letting the residents of Conch Street keep their homes, however, the police come, and aim their guns at the citizens)


 * SpongeBob: We're dead toast. It was nice knowing you, Squidward and Patrick, for the past thirty years. (cries) Goodbye.


 * (just as the police prepare to pull the triggers on their guns, the mayor comes in)


 * Mayor: STOP! I will arrest the council for destroying some citizens' homes without authorization!


 * Council Leader: But...... what about the mall? It was supposed to be there!


 * Mayor: That's the thing about you. You always change the plans if you don't like them. In fact, why don't you explain this to the judge. He likes stories!


 * Council: NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!


 * (He gets taken away by Officer John, making everybody cheer)


 * SpongeBob: WOOOOOHOOOOOOOO!. The mayor saved us! Thank you ever so much mayor!!!!!!.


 * Mayor: No problem...SpongeBob.


 * SpongeBob: He said my name!!!!!.


 * Mr Krabs: Hip hip....


 * All: Hooray!


 * Mr Krabs: Hip hip.....


 * All: Hooray!


 * Mr Krabs: Hip Hip....


 * All: Hooray!!!!!!!!


 * (All of Bikini Bottom jumps up into the air and cheers, and the frame freezes, and then the episode fades out to end)

Rate This Episode.
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1. BagelBoxd-8/10. The episode was funny, had a good plot, and was pretty solid. It was a good length for an episode, a little short in my eyes, but it worked. I've seen better from ADWSS but this episode was good nonetheless.

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