Fast Food Fads

Fast Food Fads is the third short of season two of the spin-off, Absorbent Days, and the sixth one overall. In this short, the Krusty Krab is losing profits to fad foods, and in order to keep his business afloat, Mr. Krabs makes many changes to his menu. What will this do to his clientele and his employees altogether?

Characters

 * Eugene H. Krabs
 * Squidward Tentacles
 * Miscellaneous customers
 * Customer
 * Customer 2
 * Customer 3

Transcript

 * (short begins with Mr. Krabs, who is trekking through the dining room of the Krusty Krab; Squidward is sleeping on the register on a magazine)


 * Mr. Krabs: [looks at Squidward] And he keeps me updated on the latest fads? [continues walking; begins whistling]


 * Customer: [heard offscreen] I just don't like these patties anymore!


 * Mr. Krabs: Huh?! [hides behind wooden pole; stares at a trio of customers at a table] Who is befouling the name of the covoted Krabby Patty?


 * Customer: They're just not that delicious to me. I mean look at it. It's a circle, not a rectangle like those delicious "Frank Fries" down the street.


 * Customer 2: Sounds like a plan.


 * Customer 3: Let's go.


 * (all of the customers storm out the scene)


 * Mr. Krabs: "Frank Fries"? What in the name of clam shells is that? Well, whatever it is, it's slowing down me profits. More importantly, I'm losing money!


 * (scene cuts to Mr. Krabs, standing on three wobbly chairs, painting the menu board]


 * Squidward: [wakes from nap; looks at Mr. Krabs] Before I laugh when you fall, let me ask what you're doing.


 * Mr. Krabs: [with paintbrush in mouth, muffling speech] I'm changing the menu, Mr. Squidward. [takes out brush and begins painting] We're adding fries to our menu!


 * Squidward: We have "Krusty Fries", you coop.


 * Mr. Krabs: That may be true, but now we're selling them one inch shorter and charging big bucks for 'em. These are going to sell like hot-clams!


 * (scene cuts to Mr. Krabs, walking down the dining area again)


 * Customer: Fries? You've got to be kidding me!


 * (Mr. Krabs hides behind the pole, listening in to the customer's trio again)


 * Customer: These fries are good, but they're old news. Every fish knows that you couldn't live without "Frank Sticks!


 * Mr. Krabs: What in the world is "Frank"?! Who cares. My profits are going down as it is. Time to add some sticks to the menu.


 * (the scene cuts to Mr. Krabs, who is walking through the dining area)


 * Customer: That's it! I'm done! Apparently, this restaurant can't keep up with the "Frank Fads"! I'm out of here!


 * Customer 2: Me second!


 * Customer 3: Wait for me!


 * (all three customers burst out of the scene)


 * Mr. Krabs: "Frank Fads"? [lifts Squidward's head, lying on the register asleep; takes magazine from under him; reads title] "The Frank Fads: The 2 Easiest Foods to Keep Your Restaurant Afloat". Well, this is a travesty!


 * Squidward: Should have read it, then.


 * Mr. Krabs: I'm not reading this until they have the Krabby Patty in the next issue! [throws magazine away; climbs wobbly chairs] Looks like these things can be taken off the menu.


 * (the bottom chair collapses, causing Mr. Krabs to fall to the ground in a pile of chairs)


 * Squidward: [laughs uncontrollably] Ha ha ha ho-ho-ho ha ha ha! [falls back to sleep on the counter]


 * (short ends)