Court of Law, a SpongeBob SquarePants Story

SpongeBob SquarePants AU.

Chapter One: A Incident at the Watercooler
"Patrick..." SpongeBob SquarePants called, waving a hand in front of his friend's starry eyes, "back to the present, please!"

Patrick Star jerked, nearly knocking over a cup of coffee from the FishBucks around the corner. SpongeBob sighed, then tugged on his tie as if to reassure himself it was still there, and sat down behind the small wooden desk. He flicked open a laptop, then pulled up the Firm of SquarePants and Co. website, checking to see if anyone wanted thier assistance on a case.

Sadly, as usual, there was nothing.

"What was I doing?" Patrick asked. SpongeBob sighed, then took a look at his best friend. Patrick Star was outfitted in Hawaiin shorts, green and purple, along with a pink suit and back tie. The wig he occasionally wore was lopesided.

"You were going to go back to your office and do..." he wracked his mind, "paperwork. Oh, and while you're at it, alert our lazy secretary to bring me more coffee."

"Sure thing," Patrick said, smiling broadly. He waltzed from the room, humming a nonsense tune. SpongeBob leaned back in his chair, then mentally counted to three.

A loud crash came from the corridor. SpongeBob sighed, stood up, and walked out. Patrick had waltzed directly into the watercooler, turning it from a cheerful plastic dispenser to a watery world of chaos.

"How many times-" SpongeBob began, then shook his head and let out a dolphin-ish laugh, pulling his friend out. He pressed a button on an intercom located nearby.

"Sandy," he said, "cleanup on the west corridor." He pressed the button again, then hefted Patrick all the way up. Soon, Sandy Cheeks, their secretary, showed up.

"What in tarnation?" she asked, then set to work cleaning the mess up. Suddenly the door across from them slid open, and a well-dressed squid poked his head out.

"Will you two barnacle heads keep it down?" Squidward Tentacles asked, glaring at SpongeBob and his friend. If looks could kill, they would be roasting on a slow fire.

"Sure, Squiddy," SpongeBob mumbled quickly, before yanking Patrick into his office and slamming the door, ready for an afternoon of Patrick-cleaning.