The Indescribable Pilot Episode

The Indescribable Pilot Episode is the first episode of Squidward: The SBFW Comment Critic where Squidward criticizes comments from the page, The SpongeBob Series Finale.

Transcript
[Squidward is sitting in a big chair, near a fireplace with glasses.]

Squidward: Hello, ladies and gentlemen to this new show donated by... who? Some user called Ghastlyop. Must be a idiot of his own accord. So, this first episode of the show will respond to comments on the page, 'The SpongeBob Series Finale'. So, before I burn a cassarole. Let us dig into these comments.

Comment 1: "Stop! SpongeBob is NOT getting cancelled!"

Squidward: After reading these. Most of them are variations of this comment going on that SpongeBob is not getting cancelled. No, it's not. I've just had my contract renewed for the twelfth season.

Comment 2: "You Are Wrong.SpongeBob Has 1 More Season Til It's Canceled"

Squidward: Don't you mean... You are wrong, SpongeBob has one more season until it's cancelled? It doesn't, the show has dragged along since the fifth season.

Comment 3: "STOP WRITING FINALES; SPONGEBOB IS NOT ENDING!!!!!!"

Squidward: I wasn't writing finales! *throws the script from Stephen Hillenburg: dated June 2003.*

Comment 4: "OK.Delete It! I Never Wanted SpongeBob To End Anyway!"

Squidward: Allright then. *can't delete the page.* Sorry kid, you got... un-accepted.

Comment 5: "AAAAAAAUUUUUUUUGGGGGGHHH!!!! ALRIGHT!! LISTEN UP! WHOEVER DARES TRY TO PUT THE FINALE BACK, GETS THE BOOT!!!!! (The people who oppose it will give the boot.)"

Squidward: Alright Satan, give me the boot.

Comment 6: "SILENCE!!!!! I'm The One Who Created The Finale! Every Show Needs It's Finale!!!!"

Squidward: Ask Ghastlyop how he hasn't been writing finales yet.

Ghastlyop [over stage]: Yeah. yeah. Don't worry about it.

Comment 7: "People who decide to let the series finale stay, you all should be ashamed of yourselves!"

Squidward: Yeah, I'm ashamed of myself.

Comment 8: "Let's leave the finale episodes to the writers of the real show."

Squidward: How's that script burning there?

Comment 9: "spongebob will end nooooooooooo wait 3 years from now yeah more spongebob."

Squidward: 3 years later and no-one has cancelled the show yet.

Comment 10: "SpongeBob is not getting canceled yet! They have already renued several more series afiter the sequal to SpongeBob SquarePants: The Movie, which airs in 2014! (For the fans have not seen the original film, it went into theatres during season 3 as a season finale, but became such a hit that they continued the series.)

Squidward: Our voice of reason for tonight, ladies and gentlemen.

Comment 11: "Ha! SB is near Season 10 and probably isnt going anywhere, I wish it wuld end but Nick aint got the guts to do it."

Squidward: How, their guts are now spilling all over the floor!

Comment 12: "SpongeBob is only on Season 9! How could it possibly have 1236 episodes?"

Squidward: How does the Simpsons get 546?

Comment 13: "Is this real?"

Squidward: It's just fantasy.

Comment 14: "omg dont put white words with yellow i cant read it!"

Squidward: i bet you can't even read.

Comment 15: "FAKE!!!"

Squidward: I have nothing to say.

Comment 16: "Well yeah the series should also end by Spongebob finally passing his boating exam since he was able to drive in the movie."

Squidward: The Patty Wagon was a animatronic. We used CGI to pull away all the strings and visible motors.

Comment 17: "oh yeah and spongebob just left Patrick to die on his own :) welp nick are like so gonna show this.WHY THE HECK IS SQUIDWARD SO NICE NOW?!is he taking drugs now? have spongebob and plankton made a bet?who the heck is working in the krusty krab 2?!what happened between spongebob and sandys relationship?!"

Squidward: hmm... Ghastlyop!

Ghastlyop [from afar]: Yes, Squidward? What do you want?

Squidward: Can you take over a minute.

Ghastlyop [walking to the room.]: Alright. Here are my anwsers, Cosmobo.

1. Yes, if it was in a situation he couldn't win in.

2. Nick has showed Truth or Square. sure this won't be a challenge.

3. Squidward can be nice, have you seen episodes like... Two faces of Squidward.

4. He might be taking drugs.

5. I made a bet once, didn't turn out great.

6. The Krusty Krab 2 was built near to the first movie's events. That being the last thing in the overall timeline that the show has.

7. They got married and had rule 34? I don't know, I'm not a miracle worker.

Comment 18: "it is really going to happen hold on to your hats people."

Squidward: My hat has been held.

Comment 19: "Wow I would watch that episode."

Squidward: I would as well.

BONUS COMMENT: Comment 20 - "How lucky I have the 100th comment and I'm not bitching about this page."

Squidward: Thank god you haven't. Right, that is it for me, join me next week when we dive into... *checks written list.* A Homecoming Experiment. I won't hope to see you then.

[end of episode.]