Battle of the Heroes

Battle of the Heroes is the fifth episode of season two from the spin-off, The New Adventures of the IJLSA. It aired on April 2, 2013. The previous episode was The New IJLSA and the next one is The Space Race.

Plot
Once the IJLSA lose a battle, they begin to turn on each other. The IJLSA decide to settle this with a battle in a tournament. Will they make up in the end or will they all have to fight against U.L.T.R.A.E.V.I.L. as a team...sort of.

Transcript

 * [episode starts with IJLSA at the base, training]


 * SpongeBob: Focus, SpongeBob. You can outrun it if you just believe. [camera reveals SpongeBob in front of a lamp] Ready, set...go! [runs around lamp at extreme speeds; appears to be stuck in circle] Guys, a little help.


 * Patrick: Everyone! We have a code twenty three dash J! This is not a drill! I repeat: Not a drill!


 * [Sandy grabs Patrick legs while Squidward sits down]


 * Patrick: Brace yourself, SpongeBob. [grabs SpongeBob, slowing him down] It's working. [completely slows SpongeBob down]


 * SpongeBob: Thanks, guys. You really saved me there. But I just don't [slams fist on lamp table] get it! How can light reach such extreme speeds?


 * Sandy: Don't worry about it, SpongeBob. It's not like you're going to run into an enemy that uses light to fight. Only someone diabolical and evil would do something like that.


 * Patrick: Way to be suttle, Sandy. Maybe you know something? [zooms in on Sandy] What do you know, squirrel?


 * Sandy: [turns invisible and reappears behind Patrick] I know how to do this. [flips Patrick to the ground]


 * Squidward: Calm down, guys. Save your energy for when we actually have a battle. [sips coffee]


 * [alarm blares, causing Squidward to spit out his coffee]


 * Sandy: Team, move out!


 * [scene cuts to IJLSA in downtown Bikini Bottom]


 * Patrick: We're here, but, where's our enemy?


 * Voice: I'm right here. [volts begin to eletrocute the IJLSA members]


 * SpongeBob: Show yourself, villain!


 * Voice: As you wish, Mr. Quickster. [voice begins to float down, revealing a metal suit and an unknown fish]


 * Sandy: Who are you? Who are you working?


 * Lightning Flash: I am Lightning Flash, and the only person I work for is myself...excluding U.L.T.R.A. E.V.I.L, of course. [scoffs] They payed me to say that.


 * Patrick: How much?!


 * Lightning Flash: None of your business! [fires lightning bolts from hand pads at Patrick] How many volts do you think this is?


 * Patrick: [stretches arms out, conducting the electricity; turns around, conducting the electricitiy into the air; collapses arms together, creating two energy sources to come together, causing an explosion] Nice fireworks. [reaches out tongue and takes one of the flurries] I'd say...blueberry.


 * Lightning Flash: You guys are good. But can you handle this boa constrictor? [looks at Sandy, yet fires electricity at SpongeBob]


 * Sandy: What in the seven seas was that for?


 * SpongeBob: Yeah. You looked at Sandy and then shocked me.


 * Lightning Flash: Hey, I warned you. I said I was a boa constrictor, and doesn't that mean that I also have snake eyes?


 * SpongeBob: Then you should be able to see this coming. [runs at super speed and slips Lightning Flash onto the ground; grabs Lightning Flash and throws him to brick building]


 * [Lightning Flash teleports out of building instantly]


 * Lightning Flash: Didn't I mention I could teleport? [teleports and throws SpongeBob into Squidward] No hero has ever defeated me before, and I'm not going to let it happen now. [flies away using electricity]


 * [SpongeBob gets off of Squidward and then helps Squiddward up]


 * SpongeBob: [sarcastically] Thanks a lot, Squidward.


 * Squidward: What did I do? You cannot seriously be blaming me for what just happened here. This is just like the last time. Blame the one with the sticky tentacles.


 * Sandy: Now guys, it is not Squidward's fault.


 * Squidward: Thanks, Sandy.


 * Sandy: We can only blame Patrick.


 * Patrick: For what?! For saving your skins? [sarcastically] So sorry.


 * SpongeBob: He's right. He did dodge electricity from hitting us and possibly other civilians. But I didn't Sandy do anything to help.


 * Sandy: If I didn't do anything, then I couldn't have done anything wrong!


 * Patrick: She's got a point.


 * Squidward: You know what. Forget it! I'm out of here! [stomps away]


 * Sandy: Same here. [disappears]


 * Patrick: Yep.


 * SpongeBob: Fine by me. [runs away]


 * [scene cuts to IJLSA base where SpongeBob is busy watching television in his room]


 * SpongeBob: [blowing nose into tissue] Come on, Mary. Just tell Justin that you love him! [blows nose into tissue] It's so sad. [television cuts from show onto IJLSA Leader]


 * IJLSA Leader: SpongeBob!


 * SpongeBob: [drops tissue box] Whoa! Hey, there...uh...IJLSA Leader. How long were you...?


 * IJLSA Leader: Long enough to tell you that you and your team are not working as...well...a team. You need to get rid of your differences and work together!


 * Sandy: [offscreen] Says who? [walks in front of televsion] Sorry, Leader, but the only way we can work together is if one of us apologizes, and it ain't going to be me.


 * Squidward: [walks into room] Well, it isn't going to be me.


 * Patrick: Nor me.


 * SpongeBob: [stands up and runs up and down the wall, causing the words "Me neither" to be scorched into the wall] Me neither...and that was my first time running vertically up and down a wall. Just goes to show that you all can't survive without me.


 * Sandy: Why I oughta...


 * IJLSA Leader: Then there's only way to work out a problem of this magnitude: The Arena. I want all of you to go to the arena and battle it out. Then, we'll see who is the most needed component of the team.


 * Patrick: Sounds good to me.


 * SpongeBob: [spells out the words "Me too" in fire from running] Me too. [fire alarm is set off and water sprays the room] I'm pinning this one on Squidward.


 * [scene cuts to The Arena where the IJLSA members are standing, ready to charge]


 * IJLSA Leader: You have three minutes to fight each other. [pause] Good luck. That's it.


 * SpongeBob: Let's do this! [runs at extreme speed and slips the other IJLSA members onto the ground] Ha! You all wouldn't last a second without me!


 * Sandy: [invisible] On the contrary, SpongeBob! [hits SpongeBob in nose] You wouldn't last a second without me! [slips SpongeBob; turns visible] What do you think of that?


 * Patrick: [stretches and grabs Sandy's arms, encasing her in a frame] You look better in a portrait to me. [allows Sandy onto ground and then whacks her onto the ground] Nope. I think better on the ground.


 * Squidward: [runs and headbuts Patrick, carrying him into a brick wall] Time to see the top of a volcano. [sprays Patrick a long distance into the air]


 * Patrick: Darn you, Squidward! [stretches to a tree, slingshooting him back to Squidward] Taste my foot, Squidley!


 * Squidward: Not if you taste mine first. [turns in air and kicks Patrick in the torso into building] How did you like it?


 * Patrick: I've tasted better. [picks up Squidward's leg with an outstretched arm and throws him into a wall] How's that for taste?


 * [scene cuts back to SpongeBob, formidably battling Sandy]


 * SpongeBob: Admit it, Sandy. [flips back onto hands] I'm too fast for you. [slips Sandy and uses force to land back on legs]


 * Sandy: You are pretty fast, SpongeBob. [turns invisible] But how do you defeat someone you can't see? [kicks SpongeBob into nearby wall]


 * SpongeBob: Like this! [runs at super speed, eventually being able to spot Sandy; picks up Sandy and throws her a far distance]


 * [scene cuts to Patrick]


 * Patrick: Bring it on, Squidward! Bring it on! [looks up] Did you hear something? [Sandy falls on Patrick; Patrick stretches out and picks Sandy up; then picks self up] Where did you come from?


 * SpongeBob: [slams into side of building] Maybe they can shed some light on your question. [falls onto ground] Ow.


 * Sandy: Who? [looks back, only to see Plankton] Plankton! How could have possibly knocked SpongeBob that far that fast?


 * Plankton: Oh, a little recruit helped me.


 * Sandy: Ha! You and what army?


 * Lightning Flash: [teleports beside Plankton] Just me. Check out these new powers, squirrel! [holds out hand, pushing Sandy into a nearby wall of the arena] Contrallable levitation. [splits into ten of himself] Multiplication. [shrinks back to one of self] That's all for now. My master here hasn't finished all of the upgrades.


 * SpongeBob: [runs at super speed] Bet he didn't program you with super speed. [throws fit at Lightning Flash at extreme speed, only for him to dodge it] Huh? [tries the over-kick method at extreme speed, only to miss again] How are you doing this? [tries to throw another fist at Lightning Flash at extreme speed, only for Lightning Flash to grab the fist and throw SpongeBob away] Whoa. [lands on feet, where he skids on his back]


 * Lightning Flash: I sense something. [presses button near eye, allowing him to see an invisible Sandy] The squirrel. [runs toward Sandy, extends arms, grabbing Sandy and then ramming her into Squidward] Looks like there is going to be calamari on the menu. [holds ray at Squidward]


 * Patrick: Not on my watch! [grabs ray and holds it toward the sky when it fires; stretches arms and throws Lightning Flash into a wooden fence]


 * Lightning Flash: You think you have defeated me, starfish? [extends arms and grabs Patrick's arms] Prepare to be stretched. [begins to swing Patrick around, overstretching his arms and finally flinging him into Sandy] This was almost too easy. [flies away using rockets on back]


 * [scene cuts to IJLSA base]


 * SpongeBob: [wraps thumb in cast] Ouch. His fist really clutched to my hand. [bites off cast tape end]


 * Patrick: You're telling me. My arms aren't even broken yet they need casts just to stay up. That robot is way beyond our powers!


 * IJLSA Leader: [offscreen] Wrong! [camera pans to IJLSA central desk, where IJLSA Leader lifts the desk] Dodge this! [snaps desk in two with leg and throws pieces at SpongeBob and Patrick]


 * SpongeBob: What do you mean...? [hit with desk piece and into wall]


 * Patrick: [hit with desk piece] Ouch. You know I couldn't dodge that! My arms are too flabby!


 * IJLSA Leader: I wish your other teammates could say the same.


 * Squidward: Ha! [holds up two pieces of desk] See. I am the best teammate!


 * Sandy: Not so fast, Squid-Brat. [holds up piece to Squidward] I'm the better teammate! My desk pieces are perfectly split in half.


 * [Squidward and Sandy begin bickering]


 * IJLSA Leader: [sighs and mumbles to self] I don't get paid enough to do this job. [walks into hallway] At least I can get to my bed. [places in dufflebag by Lightning Flash]


 * Lightning Flash: You're going to have to skip the bed tonight.


 * [scene cuts to SpongeBob, in sleepwear, crawling into bed]


 * SpongeBob: [sighs] Tough night. Bickering sure does take a load off of you. [sits on bed and stretches arms; yawns] I'm beat. [leans back and feels paper] What's this? [reads to self; alarmed] Lightning Flash!


 * [scene cuts to downtown Bikini Bottom, where the IJLSA Leader is hanging off of side of building; Lightning Flash appears beside him]


 * Lightning Flash: Some heroes you lead, huh? Leaving you precariously dangling off the side of a tall building. If you lead my team, you wouldn't have this situation, now would you?


 * IJLSA Leader: You're sick, whoever you are! My team will be here any minute. [tries to lift arm]


 * Lightning Flash: [holds up watch] Looking for this? [laughs and then crushes watch with fist]


 * SpongeBob: [offscreen] Don't you know how much that thing costs? [camera pans to SpongeBob, standing atop the building as well]


 * Lightning Flash: [chuckles once; throws watch pieces off building] Can't wait to be defeated, can you sponge? [begins walking around SpongeBob] You know, you and I aren't much different. We both can run at super speeds...break the sound barrier when we please, and we both have difficulties with our team members.


 * SpongeBob: Speaking of team members, who are you working for?


 * Lightning Flash: [defensively] That is none of your business! Now if you excuse me, I have a leader to throw off of the building.


 * SpongeBob: Oh no you don't! [tries to grab Lightning Flash at super speed, only for Lightning Flash to dodge it; Lightning Flash proceeds to swing at SpongeBob, only for SpongeBob to flip out of the way of the fist] Oh, come on!


 * Lightning Flash: Face it, SpongeBob. You'll never win against someone exactly like you. Give up already!


 * SpongeBob: [sighs] You're right, Lightning Flash. I can't win. [stands up] I shall do the dark deed.


 * IJLSA Leader: Dark deed? [feels rope swing, seeing SpongeBob stepping on the rope] SpongeBob, no. Don't listen to him. Don't do.


 * SpongeBob: I have to, leader. I have to. [winks; kicks rope off of building]


 * [IJLSA Leader begins yelling as he falls down the building; leader is caught by Squidward]


 * Squidward: I got you, leader.


 * Lightning Flash: What?! [kicked off of building by charging SpongeBob]


 * SpongeBob: [melts through the building and onto ground] I think we got the best him.


 * Lightning Flash: [demolishes building with electricity; seen with electricity floating around him; levitating] You think you've bested me, SpongeBob and others? Think again! [conducts electricity through street]


 * Sandy: Look out! He's forming an electric wormhole! [blinded by large amount of electricity shooting out through street]


 * Lightning Flash: [flies through the electric beam; comes out with silver, larger suit] Now, who wants a free trip to the hospital? [runs at super speed, kicking Squidward into SpongeBob; flies at super speed with extended fist]


 * SpongeBob: [stands up at super speed; catches fist] Not today, Lightning! [swings Lightning Flash into brick building; Lightning Flash teleports behind SpongeBob]
 * Lightning Flash: Did you really think you could defeat me that easily? [fires large beam of electricity knocking out the rest of the IJLSA while flying away] Maybe another time?
 * SpongeBob: *Drowsy* We'll get him next time. [passes out]
 * [end of episode]