Boating School for Pearl

Boating School for Pearl is a fanon episode of SpongeBob SquarePants. In this episode, Mr. Krabs bothers Pearl about the shell-phone bill and how expensive it is. To distance herself from her dad, Pearl takes a walk, only for SpongeBob to find her and invites her to a day of boating school. Will Pearl enjoy the time? This episode is paired with A New Home, Sweet Home.

Characters

 * Pearl Krabs
 * SpongeBob SquarePants (cameo)
 * Mr. Krabs (cameo)
 * Michelle/Female Fish 1
 * Griffin/Male Student 1/Voice
 * Mrs. Puff

Transcript

 * [episode begins with a medium shot of Mr. Krabs's anchor; Pearl's voice can be overheard]


 * Pearl: That's what I heard, so it must be true. Right? [camera cuts to Pearl's room, where she lying on her bed, on her shell-phone] Well, even if it's not, it's still a fast-growing rumor, and I won't stop until I get to the bottom of this. [pause] Oh, please. It has to happen, and it will sooner of later. I bet you it will.


 * Mr. Krabs: [rises into scene; snatches shell-phone] You won't be betting anything! Especially not money! We're losing enough as it is.


 * Pearl: Dad! Why are you in here?! And what are you talking about?


 * Mr. Krabs: I'm talking about this! [holds up paper named "Shell-Phone Bill]


 * Pearl: [reads paper] "Shell-Phone Bill: Immediate payment of five hundred clams".


 * Mr. Krabs: It's because of you that I have to suffer through this...d-d-d-de...[to self] just say it Krabs. [aloud] Debt!


 * Pearl: Dad, please. You own the most popular and successful restaurant in Bikini Bottom! [stands up] You practically have five hundred dollars in your hair! And you don't even have hair!


 * Mr. Krabs: That's not important! It's you maintain a phone bill of at most one hundred clams, or you get a part-time job.


 * Pearl: [gasps] How dare you, daddy? I can't take this! I'm out of here. [marches out of scene]


 * [scene cuts to Pearl, walking down the side of the road]


 * Pearl: Why is dad making such a big deal over this? We're rich! I can chat as much as I want! Well, I could if daddy didn't take away my phone!


 * SpongeBob: [offscreen] Hello, Pearl!


 * Pearl: Ugh. Just ignore him.


 * SpongeBob: [runs into scene] I see that you're busy trying to ignore me, so I'm going to just trot along this path.


 * Pearl: That's it! Even talking you seem to be able to gather my interest. What are you doing here, SpongeBob?


 * SpongeBob: I'm on my way to boating school. Are you avoiding your dad again?


 * Pearl: How did you know that?


 * SpongeBob: You always walk along this path when you're avoiding your dad. It's even on that sign right there. [points to sign that reads "Avoiding Dad Drive"; Private Street for Pearl Krabs]


 * Pearl: Well, then you've pieced it together.


 * SpongeBob: Don't feel gloom, Pearl. Why don't you do something productive? I know. You can come to boating school with me for the day!


 * Pearl: What? No way! It's Saturday! It's my no-learning time!


 * SpongeBob: It's better than walking down the side of the road doing nothing.


 * Pearl: [sighs] Fine, but if I have a bad time, it's on you. All of it!


 * SpongeBob: A-okay, Pearl. [stops walking; camera pans out to reveal "Mrs. Puff's Boating School"] Here we are.


 * Pearl: [gloomily] Oh, joy.


 * [scene cuts to Mrs. Puff's classroom; Pearl is sitting in the middle of the third of the column of student desks]


 * Mrs. Puff: So, class. Please remember that turning right on red rights is allowed unless otherwise posted.


 * Pearl: [slumps head onto desk] Ugh. She lost me at "so".


 * Mrs. Puff: Ms. Pearl! Pearl! Sit up straight and listen! I'm not giving this lesson twice!


 * Pearl: Yes, Mrs. Puff. [sits up straight, yet grogilly]


 * Mrs. Puff: Now, class. Remember "red" means stop, "yellow" means go, and "green" means slow down.


 * Pearl: Hmm? [raises hand] Uh, Mrs. Puff.


 * Mrs. Puff: Yes, Pearl.


 * Pearl: I believe you mean that "yellow" means slow down and "green" means go.


 * Mrs. Puff: [thinks] Oh, quite right. Thank you, uh, Pearl.


 * Pearl: No problem, Mrs. P.


 * Mrs. Puff: Continuing class, we shall now discuss the parts of the boat, the most important being the engine.


 * Pearl: [raises hand again]


 * Mrs. Puff: Yes, Pearl?


 * Pearl: I actually think that the battery is the most important part of the boat.


 * Mrs. Puff: Oh, really? That's perfect. Please come to the head of the class and discuss your opinion.


 * Pearl: Well, okay.


 * [scene cuts to montage of Pearl, discussing the importance of the battery; the montage ends, and the entire class applaudes]


 * Mrs. Puff: [in tears] That was beautiful, Pearl. Gold star for you! [places a gold star under Pearl's name]


 * Pearl: A-thank you. A-thank you. [bows]


 * [the bell rings]


 * Mrs. Puff: Time for lunch class!


 * [the scene cuts to an array of wooden benches where students are eating lunch; Pearl is sitting alone at one table]


 * Pearl: Too bad I didn't pack a lunch. Hey! I know! I'll order lunch with my shell-phone!...which isn't here. Clams.


 * Voice: [offscreen] Here. Have a sandwich. [hands Pearl sandwich]


 * Pearl: Thanks. [looks at fish with sandwich] Who are you?


 * Male Student 1: I'm just a student here and heard you didn't have a lunch. There's a sandwich for you.


 * Pearl: Thanks.


 * Male Student 1: Here come my other friend.


 * Female Fish 1: [walks over] Hey there, Pearl.


 * Pearl: How do you know my name?


 * Male Student 1: [sits down] Everyone here knows your name. We call it the "New Student Effect". The new student impresses the teacher, and suddenly, we all know his or her name.


 * Pearl: Ah. [bites sandwich] Well, I'm only here for one day.


 * Male Student 1: Then, there's no better time for introductions. I'm Griffin.


 * Female Fish 1: And I'm Michelle.


 * Pearl: Cool. Well, I'm the new kid. And it seems you guys have been here a while. Why aren't you sitting with the in-crowd. Are you guys...the nerds?


 * Michelle: We prefer head-of-the-class enthusiasts.


 * Griffin: And what we saw you do in Puff's classroom was impressive. I think you'll fit in with us just fine.


 * Pearl: Was that an insult or a compliment?


 * Michelle and Griffin: Yes.


 * [montage begins with Pearl, hanging out with Michelle and Griffin and becoming more like them; scene cuts to Mrs. Puff's class]


 * Mrs. Puff: Okay, class. It's time to issue out the boating assignments for today. Let's see. Ah. Pearl Krabs will be driving first today.


 * Pearl: Yay! Time to get behind the wheel.


 * [scene cuts to Pearl, sitting behind a car with Mrs. Puff in the passenger seat]


 * Mrs. Puff: Okay now, Pearl. Let's get this test started. What's the first thing you do?


 * Pearl: Start the ignition. [turns on boat] Next, buckle seat belt. [buckles seat belt] And finally, step on the gas. [steps sharply on the gas pedal; the boat begins rushing down the boating track]


 * Mrs. Puff: SpongeBob, step on the brakes! Step on the brakes!


 * Pearl: I'm Pearl, Mrs. Puff.


 * Mrs. Puff: But you...but I thought...you were my star student. What happened?


 * Pearl: I guess I didn't study enough! I was too busy hanging out with my nerd buddies that I didn't study.


 * [the boat begins spinning out of control; Mrs. Puff and Pearl are flung from the boat; Pearl lands on Mrs. Puff, in which Mrs. Puff Puffs up]


 * [Mihelle and Griffin run up to Pearl]


 * Griffin: Pearl! Pearl!


 * Michelle: Pearl, are you okay? We saw the whole thing! What happened? You were the head-of-the-class!


 * Pearl: [climbs down] You guys were right. But you, I learned something from you guys today. It's not the action that matters. It's the thought that counts. You guys gave me a sandwich, yet I let that cloud me from my work and education. My dad came in and took away my phone, yet he only does this because he cares about me. He doesn't like the debt because he needs the money to take care of me. I guess I'm just misunderstood. I'm sorry to waste everyone's time, but I have a caring dad to get back to. [hops into boat, only to crash through a brick wall] Maybe I should just walk.


 * [episode ends]