Crazy Little Thing Called Love

Crazy Little Thing Called Love is the fifth episode of SBFW Go! In it, Calaz saves Travis from arrest and they later embark on a quest to stop Calaz's love Olivia from leaving at the airport.

Characters (in order of appearance)

 * Travis
 * B.W.A. 1 (debut)
 * B.W.A. 2 (debut)
 * Calaz
 * Mason
 * Nintendo Bro (debut)
 * Rocky
 * Kelpy
 * Squidward
 * Harold Fishton (debut)
 * SpongeBob
 * Arre
 * Luis
 * Officer (debut)
 * Security (debut)
 * Olivia (debut)
 * PolarKey (end credits scene)
 * Ponyo (mentioned)

Transcript
(cold opening, a high-speed police chase starts, the police are chasing Travis who is managing to get away on a bicycle) Travis: Think smexy thoughts, think smexy thoughts, thing smexy thoughts. (he hides in a strip club and the police race past, he comes back out) Phew. (turns to walk away but is stopped by FANDOM Staff)

B.W.A. 1: You're coming with us.

B.W.A. 2: Yeah.

Travis: Oh, am I? (turns to get the bicycle when Calaz shows up in a lambo)

Calaz: Get in.

Travis: Hold on, let me just get the pony.

Calaz: Get in!

Travis: OK, OK! (gets in) See ya later, B****es with Authority! (they drive off)

B.W.A. 1: Why are we still standing here? (another police pursue begins)

Calaz: We need to get back to the SBFW HQ!

Travis: Are you high? We'll get caught! We need to lose them somehow.

Calaz: And how do you think we're gonna do that?

Travis: No idea, they are one tight (censored).

Calaz: Well, at least Tim and Tyce don't have to break you out.

Travis: But we're still being chased and can't think of a way to lose them. (pause) Hey, why are you helping me anyway?

Calaz: I need you to collab with me on the new SBFW: After Hours episode!

Travis: What the frick?

Calaz: Anyway, why are FANDOM staff after YOU?

Travis: I broke the terms of use again.

B.W.A. 2: Aha! A confession!

Calaz: YOU DIDN'T TELL ME THEY COULD HEAR US?

Travis: Well, the sweet sounds of s*x can't always be muffled- (they crash into a river)

B.W.A. 1: Meh, we were gonna do the same anyway. (the staff turn around and leave, theme song and we cut to the SBFW HQ where people walk past and completely ignore Mason)

Mason: Would anyone care to make me a title card for a series I don't own? Would anyone care to make me a title card for a series I don't own? (takes a gun out) Oh, I can't go on! (the camera turns away)

Nintendo Bro: I hate you.

Rocky: STOP HARASSING ME! (we hear a gunshot and everyone turns to Mason who is completely unharmed, the gunshot is heard again and it is revealed to be the doorbell)

Rocky: I'll get it. (answers the door, Travis and Calaz enter)

Travis: Honestly, you're driving is worse than your grammar, Calaz. Thanks, Rocky.

Rocky: No problem. (shuts the door and follows them into the lounge)

Calaz: Maybe it is, but you're alive and you're not in jail.

Travis: I suppose, but now I'll never get to know how it feels to drop the soap. (they sit down)

Calaz: You surprise me everyday.

Travis: Are you in love with me?

Calaz: No, no. Why would you say-

Travis: Admit it, you're in love with me.

Calaz; No, I'm not in love with you!

Travis: Yes, you are.

Calaz: No, I'm not.

Travis: Yes, you are.

Calaz: How many times have I told you that I'm in love with Olivia?

Travis: Prove it.

Kelpy: Here we go again...

Calaz: I can't prove it, she leaves at the airport today to go to Florida.

Travis: Then take us to the airport and prove that you love her.

Calaz: I can't. We're not in love, I'm in love. It's a crush. And how am I supposed to know what airport she's gonna be at?

Travis: Because there's only one airport in Bikini Bottom, you did say 'the' airport, yaas?

Calaz: But I'm scared!

Travis: Caleb, I've had orgasms more times than I can remember and I still cry every time. And you're scared about proving your love to someone?

Calaz: Alright. I'll do it. (everyone in the lounge cheers) We have to leave right away. (cut to the Krusty Krab where a man orders his food)

Squidward: Hi, welcome to the Krusty Krab. You lost?

???: I'll have two number nines-

SpongeBob: I got it already, Squidward. (gives ??? his meal and he sits down)

Arre: (at the table behind ???) Psst, can you pass me the ketchup?

???: Whatever. (gives Arre the ketchup bottle)

Arre: Thanks. Uh, sorry, I never caught your name.

???: Does it matter?

Arre: Yes.

???: (sigh) Harold Fishton.

Arre: Harold, eh? You can call me Arre.

Harold: Yeah, yeah. Now just leave me alone so I can start my food.

Arre: Alright, alright. Say, are you a taxi driver!

Harold: Of course I f*****g am! What the hell do you want from me?

Arre: A ride to the SBFW HQ would be nice. 69 Sesame Street. (cut to them in the taxi) Woo hoo! Let's roll! (on walkie-talkie) I'll meet you there, Luis. (cut to them arriving at the SBFW HQ, Arre gets out and gives the driver a penny, Luis quickly arrives and they get slammed in the face by Travis and Calaz opening the door, as they exit the building, other users can be heard cheering their names, they shut the door)

Travis: This is more convenient than the time my clothes fell of for me! Guy, we need to get to the airport.

Calaz: My crush is leaving on a plane to Florida in five minutes!

Harold: Well, hop on in, I know a shortcut. (the two get in the cab)

Luis: Well, screw me. (the taxi drives off and Harold turns on the radio)

''I get knocked down, but I get up again

You are never gonna keep me down

I get knocked down, but I get up again

You are never gonna keep me down

I get knocked down, but I get up again

You are never gonna keep me down''

(due to the speed of the taxi, they attract the police who chase after them)

Travis: Oh no!

Calaz: We're not gonna make it!

Officer: (driving up next to the taxi) Hey, it's the guy who broke the terms of use on that stupid FANDOM site!

Travis: How the hell could you recognise me like that?

Officer: Don't ask questions. Where do you suppose you're going?

Harold: His crush leaves at the airport in five minutes!

Officer: Oh, that changes everything! We'll escort you. (they are escorted by the police for the rest of the journey)

''He drinks a Whiskey drink, he drinks a Vodka drink

He drinks a Lager drink, he drinks a Cider drink

He sings the songs that remind him of the good times

He sings the songs that remind him of the best times''

Harold: (they arrive at the airport, the two get out) No charge. (he and the police drive off as the two enter the airport and rush through it)

Calaz: We're not gonna make it!

Travis: Oh yes, we are! (performs a stripper-like move on a pole in the security to get past it, Calaz follows behind)

Calaz: Wait up!

Security: Hold up! What's the hurry? Are you crazy!

Calaz: Yeah, crazy for love! She leaves in five minutes and I have to get there fast.

Security: Why not? (let's Calaz through and he chases after Travis)

Calaz: Travis! Come back ya little (censored)boy! (he continues running after him until he catches up)

''He drinks a Whiskey drink, he drinks a Vodka drink

He drinks a Lager drink, he drinks a Cider drink

He sings the songs that remind him of the good times

He sings the songs that remind him of the best times''

Calaz: What are you hurrying for?

Travis: I wanna see you prove your love for her, remember? (we see Kelpy chasing behind them in a golf cart)

Kelpy: I've been fantasizing about this my whole life! I wouldn't miss this for the world!

Travis: Oh, this better be worth it!

''I get knocked down, but I get up again

You are never gonna keep me down

I get knocked down, but I get up again

You are never gonna keep me down

I get knocked down, but I get up again

You are never gonna keep me down''

(they finally catch up with Olivia)

Calaz: (gasp) Olivia! It's really you, Livy!

Olivia: Caleb? What are you doing here?

Calaz: I just wanna say that, I, uh,

Travis: Oh my god, look at those tits! (Olivia slaps him and boards the plane)

Calaz: TRAVIS! NOW I HAVE TO KILL HER OFF IN SBFW: AFTER HOURS!

Travis: Oh well. (pause) This was a disappointment. I think I might just go jerk off somewhere else. (leaves)

Calaz: JUST YOU WAIT UNTIL SECURITY CATCHES UP! (Kelpy catches up)

Kelpy: What I'd miss? (end, credits scene begins, Rocky and Nintendo Bro are blankly staring at PolarKey)

PolarKey: (to the tune of 'It's Everday Bro') It's Nintendo Bro with the SpongeBob flow, bulling Rocky in six months, never done before. We pass all the competition man, Ponyo is next, and I screwing all these checks, got a brand n-

Rocky: Go die in a fire. (leaves, proper end)