Cheerleaders

Cheerleaders is the 13th episode of Basket Sponge. It aired on January 24, 2015.

Plot
Patrick has an affair with several cheerleaders from several different teams. It gets to be so bad, he has a girlfriend at almost every team they play. Eventually, all his cheerleader girlfriends gang up on him, and attempt to destroy him with nuclear weapons and machine guns. Can Patrick fix the mess he's made?

Story
The Bulldogs are currently in the middle of an intense game against The Sperm Whales. The clock has 30 seconds left, and the score is 72 - 70. The Sperm Whales are winning.

Pearl: (from the crowd) WOO-HOO! YOU CAN DO IT! I HAVE FAITH IN YOU! GO TEAM!!!

Krabs: (on the court) My little girl's cheering me on!

Larry: No she's not. She's talking about the whales. She loves 'em.

Krabs: (sigh) You're right.

Karen: (from the crowd) Come on, team!!! Woo-hoo!!!!!

Pearl: Who are you here for?

Karen: See the short man on the bench?

Pearl: Nope. (gets a microscope) Oh, I see him now!

Karen: That's my husband. He sits on the bench every game.

Pearl: He never gets any playing time?

Karen: Not really. He's way too short and he sucks. The coach never lets him in the games. Who are you here for?

Pearl: My dad thinks I'm here for his team. But I love The Sperm Whales! I'm their biggest fan, I come to every game! They're soooooooooooooo hot!

Karen: Oh, I see. Truth be told, I never come to see Plankton play. I find that Mr. Krabs guy extremely hot! (stares at Krabs playing on the court)

Pearl: Ummmm.....that's my dad.

Karen: Oh....did I say Mr. Krabs? I meant Mr. Flabs...someone completely different...heh-heh...

Mermaid Man: (asleep next to her, slobbers all over her)

Karen: Eww!!! I think he got saliva all over me! (starts sparking) MALFUNCTION! MALFUCTION!

Barnacle Boy: Mermaid Man, wake up! You're missing a great game!

Mermaid Man: (wakes up) Heh?

Larry shoots a 3-pointer, if it goes in, they will win the game. Karen: (explodes) BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The explosion destroys The Sperm Whales' entire gym. The fans and players are both effected.

10 minutes later

Everyone finally gained consciousness after the explosion.

Referee: The ball did NOT go in. It was burnt to a crisp. Therefore, The Sperm Whales win!

Larry: NOOOOOOOO!!!!! WHAT THE HELL????!!!!!!! THIS IS FREAKIN' BULL CRAP!!!!!

Squidward: I SCORED THREE BASKETS FOR NOTHING!!!! I'M GONNA RIP SOMEONE'S HEAD OFF!!!!

Krabs: I LOST IN FRONT OF MY DAUGHTER!!!!! TO THOSE STUPID WHALES AGAIN!!!!! MY LITTLE GIRL IS PROBABLY ASHAMED OF ME!!!!!!

Plankton: I NEVER EVEN GOT TO PLAY!!!! I HAD TO SIT THE STUPID BENCH THE ENTIRE TIME!!! AND MY WIFE EXPLODED, SO THAT'S ANOTHER PROBLEM!!!!!

LeBron: Team, calm down. It's just a game.

Larry: Really? You're not mad at us?

LeBron: Not at all. I'm satisfied with all of you. Larry, you did great. Squidward, you got to score your first 3 baskets. Krabs, you played good defense. SpongeBob, you scored a few baskets and held a great attitude. Patrick.....wait.....where's Patrick?

Squidward: Hopefully he died in the explosion.

Plankton: Yes, hopefully! Because then I'd get to play more often!

LeBron: I'd rather forfeit every game instead of letting you play, bug boy.

Plankton: Barnacles!

SpongeBob: Hey, there's Patrick! (points to where Patrick is standing, several yards away)

Patrick is standing with one of The Sperm Whales' cheerleaders.

Patrick: (puts his hand on her) Emily, you're the angel of my life.

Emily: (with passion) Kiss me!

Patrick and Emily began to make out.

Emily: I gotta go. Call me, babe! (runs off) LeBron: (walks over to him) So, Patrick, ...ahem. Who was that?

Patrick: Eh, nobody. Just mah cheerleader GIRLFRIEND!

LeBron: Dating a cheerleader is a dangerous thing. I would know, I have experience!

Patrick: Okay, sheesh, it's not like I'm dating more than one!

Ashley: (walks by) Great game, Patrick! Call me tonight, hot stuff!

LeBron: And who was THAT?!

Patrick: Eh, nobody. Just mah OTHER CHEERLEADER GIRLFRIEND!

LeBron: Patrick! Don't be cheating on girls! That's horrible!

SpongeBob: (walks over to them) Patrick! You're cheating on two girls?

Patrick: What's "cheating"?

LeBron: When you date more than one girl at the same time.

Patrick: You're only supposed to date one at a time?

SpongeBob: Yes, Patrick....

Patrick: .....oops.....

LeBron: You didn't know that?! How many are you dating?!

Patrick: (sweating) Just two...heh-heh, yep! Just two! I promise, no others! Heh-heh....yep, only two.

Brittany: (walking by) Hey Patrick! (kisses him) I had a great time with you today! Remember, pick me up at 8:00 Saturday! (leaves)

LeBron: Just two, huh?

Patrick: heh-heh.....THREE! I only have three girlfriends, I promise! I'm not hiding any others!

SpongeBob: Patrick, you need to break up with atleast two of them tomorrow.

Patrick: What's "breaking up"?

LeBron: (facepalm)

Patrick: Are they pancakes? I DEMAND BREAKING UP!!!!! I DEMAND THE BREAKING UP!!!!

The rest of the team walks over, still sulking after their loss.

Larry: What's going on here?

SpongeBob: Patrick has THREE girlfriends!

Squidward: BAHAHAHAH! I'm surprised he could even get ONE!

LeBron: Very funny everyone, but listen. We have another game tomorrow at 7:30. After tonight's loss, we have to win this game!

Krabs: Who are we playing?

LeBron: The Rock Bottom Racketeers.

Patrick: (shaking and sweating) Haha, yep! I'll be there too! I definitely don't have any cheerleader at that gym!

The Next Night

Patrick: (enters the gym) I'm here, team!

All 20 of the Rock Bottom Racketeers' cheerleaders come running over to him.

Cheerleader #1: Patrick! Babe! You're here!

Cheerleader #2: Keep your fins off my boyfriend!

Cheerleader #3: YOUR boyfriend? He's MY boyfriend!

Cheerleader #4: No, I've been dating him for a while now!

Cheerleader #5: No, I'VE been dating him for a while now!

As all of the cheerleaders begin fighting over him, Patrick slips away to join the rest of the team.

LeBron: Alright team, it's time to shine. 1, 2, 3, BULLDOGS!

[Scene cuts to after the game]

Larry: We won!!! Yes!!!!!

Squidward: (twerking) We did it! Awh yeah! Awh yeah!

Krabs: Woo-hooo!!!!!!

SpongeBob: Aren't you happy, Patrick? .....Patrick?

SpongeBob looks across the gym, and sees Patrick being attacked by the cheerleaders.

SpongeBob: Whoa, ladies, break it up! What's going on?

Cheerleader #6: He's cheating on all 20 of us! He's a dirt bag!

Patrick: Trust me, there's a lot more than 20. Haha.....wait, I mean, NO! I AM NOT CHEATING!

Cheerleader #7: You're doing this to even MORE girls? Let me guess, more CHEERLEADERS, perhaps?

Patrick: Well DUH! Cheerleaders are the hottest chicks! ....I mean, NO! I AM NOT CHEATING!

Cheerleader #8: You know what? I'm posting this on CheerleaderBook. That way, all the cheerleaders in the ocean can find out you're a dirty cheater!

Seconds later, every cheerleader in the entire ocean busted into the gym.

All Cheerleaders: (with missles and tanks) WE WILL DESTROY YOU!!!!!

SpongeBob: Patrick......you're really dating EVERY cheerleader in the ocean?

Patrick: I didn't know it was against the rules! I'm such an amateur!!! (cries)

A cheerleader launches a torpedo near Patrick.

Patrick: Ah!!! You gotta hide me, SpongeBob!

SpongeBob: (approaches the cheerleaders) Now, now, ladies, calm down. Patrick may have cheated on all 2,000 of you, but maybe it wasn't his fault.

[Inspirational music plays].

Cheerleader #9: You're right! It's not his fault! It's YOUR fault! (points to a cheerleader)

Cheerleader #10: MY fault? It's YOUR fault! (starts slapping her)

All 2,000 cheerleaders get into a massive chick-fight.

SpongeBob: See, Patrick? No big deal. We turned them against eachother now! Let's just go home and enjoy our victory!

Patrick: What "victory"? I just lost 2,000 girlfriends!

SpongeBob: No, I mean our basketball victory! Our team won!

Patrick: We did? Oh sweet!

SpongeBob and Patrick proceed to leave the gym.

Cheerleader #11: Stop right there! You TRICKED us!

SpongeBob: Say whaaaaaaat?

Cheerleader #12: It really IS Patrick's fault he cheated on us! ISN'T IT?

SpongeBob: ....yeahhhh.....I got nothin'.

Patrick: SpongeBob!!!

SpongeBob: Start running, Patrick.

Head Cheerleader: Ladies, ATAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!!!!!!!!

SpongeBob and Patrick took a break for it.

Head Cheerleader: (launching grenades) Seize him! No mercy, ladies!

Cheerleader #14: (shooting a machine gun at Patrick) MWAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAH!!!!!

SpongeBob and Patrick ran throughout the gym.

Patrick: Hide me, SpongeBob!!! Hide me!!!

SpongeBob: There's no where to hide!!! We gotta get out of this gym!!!

SpongeBob and Patrick busted through the walls, and ran all the way back to Bikini Bottom.

SpongeBob: (enters his Pineapple Home) We'll be safe in here, Pat.

Patrick: Yeah! (pant, pant) Those dumb cheerleaders will never find us!

A cheerleader shoots and destroys the pineapple with a tank.

SpongeBob: Well that didn't work.

Patrick: Nope.

They run to Squidward's home and knock on his door.

Patrick: SQUIDWARD!!! SQUIDWARD!!! OPEN UP! 2,000 CHEERLEADERS ARE TRYING TO KILL ME!!!

SpongeBob: SQUIDWARD!!! SQUIDWARD!!! OPEN UP! 2,000 CHEERLEADERS ARE TRYING TO KILL HIM!!!

Squidward: (answers the door naked) SpongeBob! Patrick! It's MIDNIGHT!!! We just got home from a game, what are you two so worked up about?

SpongeBob and Patrick trample him and run inside.

Squidward: (gets dragged away by a bloodthirsty cheerleader) Ahhh!!!! What the hell?! Save yourselves, guys!!!

SpongeBob and Patrick slam and lock the door. They lean against the door and sit down.

SpongeBob: (pant, pant, pant)

Patrick: They'll never get us in Squidward's house! It's stable!

A chainsaw breaks through the door, and proceeds to cut a hole.

Patrick: AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

SpongeBob: AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Cheerleaders are coming in through the windows, the sink, the front door, the ceiling.

Patrick: This is a nightmare!!!

All Cheerleaders: (holding knives, torches, pitchforks, machine guns) We want Patrick's head. We want Patrick's head. We want Patrick's head. We want Patrick's head.

Patrick: AAAAHHHH!!!!! THIS IS FREAKY!!!

SpongeBob: It's the cheerleader apocalypse!

SpongeBob and Patrick managed to run through all the deadly cheerleaders, and make it to Patrick's coconut house.

Patrick: Quick! Get in here, SpongeBob!

SpongeBob and Patrick dived in head-first, and closed the coconut.

SpongeBob: (pant, pant) I think we're good.

Patrick: I think so. By the way, thank you SpongeBob for trying help me escape from all this mess.

SpongeBob: No problem, Pat. We're in this together! Even though it's completely your problem!

Head Cheerleader: (speaking into a bull-horn) Attention, Patrick and Sponge Person. We know you're hiding under that coconut. But we'd like to make a deal with you, Mr. Sponge.

Patrick: (gulp)

SpongeBob: Don't worry, Pat. Remember, we're in this together.

Head Cheerleader: Sponge, if you give us Patrick, we'll let you live. You can go about your business, and we'll leave you alone.

Patrick: Hah! It's gonna take more than that, ya stupid cheerleaders! My best friend would never give me to you violent spawns of the devil!

SpongeBob: (looks at Patrick and smirks)

SpongeBob throws Patrick out of the coconut, and the cheerleaders haul him away.

Patrick: AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

SpongeBob: Woo! Thank goodness! I'm safe!

SpongeBob looks at the viewers.

SpongeBob: Come on! Don't look at me like that! You would've done the same thing!