Glum Chum

Glum Chum is the forty-fourth episode of the series, Absorbent Days, and the fourth episode of season three. In this episode, Plankton devises a plan to finally steal the Krabby Patty formula, yet finds that the Chum Bucket has become a success without his prescence. Unbeknownst to him, Karen has undertaken the Chum Bucket, and is making it a success without her husband. Can Plankton reclaim his evil position, and abscond with the formula in the process? This episode is paired with The Heroic Barnacles.

Characters

 * Sheldon Plankton
 * Karen Plankton
 * Eugene Krabs
 * Customer (cameo)
 * SpongeBob SquarePants (cameos)
 * Squidward Tentacles (cameo)

Transcript

 * Karen: Ugh, it's so dark in here. (flips on the lights) There you are, Plankton! (screams in fear)


 * ''(Plankton looks up from the paper, sporting tired eyelids, unshaved chin, and drooling mouth)'Karen: Sheldon! Don't tell me you were up through the night working on that silly plan!


 * Plankton: I will tell you that! This plan is fool-proof, Karen. A plan like this requires the evil one in the household to take control of it! Enough of this banter, I called you in here to replace my pencil!


 * Karen: I can't! You broke the last one we had.


 * Plankton: Blasted! No matter, the plan is complete anyways. (holds up paper) Yes, yes it is!


 * Karen: Well, while you do that... (begins to wheel away)


 * Plankton: Wait, Karen. Don't you want to hear the plan? Of course you do!


 * Karen: I already know the plan, Plankton. I've heard you explain it before. First, you force Krabs to hire you through some convoluted mean, and eventually snatch the formula from under him. Then, when he chases you to the Chum Bucket, you open up the trap door in the laboratory. (presses button on the wall, opening a trap door in the middle of the laboratory)


 * Plankton: You know, you really take the fun out of evil, Karen. Nonetheless, I shall return when I have the formula in hands. It'll be no time at all. Then, the Chum Bucket will be a success! You and I, atop the food industry!


 * (exits the Krusty Krab, sprinting with the plan paper)


 * Karen: (whispering an evil laugh) You and I? We'll see about that, Sheldon.


 * (scene cuts to Plankton, being dangled by Mr. Krabs within Krabs's office)


 * Mr. Krabs: You better have a darn good excuse for this, Plankton.


 * Plankton: (in a saddened tone) Krabs, we do this all the time. Isn't it time I relinquish my evil ways, and join the Krusty Crew as one of your employees? (whispering) That is until I betray you.


 * Mr. Krabs: Grr. On any other day, I'd say "no", Plankton. (opens door and points to register) Today, however, Squidward has come down with a nasty fever. Down a man, I need someone to run the register. So get over there and get to work! (throws Plankton into the register boat)


 * Plankton: Oof! Well, that was quite easy. Step one...


 * (scene cuts back to Karen, in the Chum Bucket laboratory)


 * Karen: ...complete! He he he! (the camera pans out, revealing Karen on a ladder, standing amidst a giant cauldron of chum) Time for the real evil one in the household to make this restaurant a success! (grabs a bottle of a substance, and pours it into the cauldron; the compound explodes, and a scent trails travels across Karen's screen) Hmm. It's perfect.


 * (the scene cuts back to Plankton, standing in the cash register boat)


 * Plankton: (sighs) Welcome to the Krusty Krab, may I take your order, sir?


 * Customer: Say, aren't you that guy from that shack across the street?


 * Plankton: (ignores question) Can I interest you in a Krabby Patty today?!


 * Customer: Yeah, I remember now. Uh, Sheldon, right?!


 * Plankton: Listen, buddy! (leaps on customer's head) If you're not gonna order something, then stop wasting my time! Or I'll...


 * Customer: Wait a minute. (sniffs scent trail) That scent. It's coming from that shack! (zips out of Krusty Krab toward the Chum Bucket, dropping Plankton in the process)


 * Plankton: From the shack?! (looks up at the Chum Bucket, seeing a line of fish spilling out of the door) What in the ocean? The Chum Bucket has...customers?!


 * Mr. Krabs: (enters scene) What are you doing on the floor, Plankton?! Get back to work!


 * Plankton: Clam it, Krabs! It appears the Chum Bucket is suddenly a success, without me!


 * Mr. Krabs: Ha! It appears someone knows how to run a restaurant better than you. (points to Chum Bucket, showing Karen standing outside)


 * Plankton: Karen, running the Chum Bucket?! She thinks she's better than me at running you into the ground, Krabs! Well, two can play at that game, computer wife! I'm taking both you out! (dashes into Mr. Krabs's office)


 * Mr. Krabs: Whoa, where do you think you're going, Plankton?!


 * Plankton: To steal your formula! (shuts office door; hops into door lock and untwists the screws) Time to work. (hops to safe; finds screws to combination lock) This almost seems too easy. (grabs screws and twists them out of the wall; the combination falls to the ground)


 * (Mr. Krabs bursts through the door, enraged)


 * Mr. Krabs: Plankton, you've messed up now!


 * Plankton: (holding formula bottle above head) Sorry, Krabs. It's my time to shine! I'm the evil one of the household! (hops out of window)


 * (scene cuts to the Chum Bucket, where Karen is admiring the customers in the dining area)


 * Karen: Success! Customers? Check! Money? (holds pile of cash) Check! No Plankton? Check!


 * Plankton: (offscreen) Check that, Karen!


 * Karen: (turns around) Plankton! What are you doing here?


 * Plankton: Here to reclaim my restaurant!


 * Mr. Krabs: (bursts through double entrance doors with SpongeBob) And I'm here to reclaim my formula!


 * Plankton: Fine, Krabs. Catch! (throws formula onto the second level of the dining area)


 * Mr. Krabs and SpongeBob: The formula! (the two rush up the stairs)


 * Plankton: It appears, Karen, that I was incorrect. It appears we both are the most evil in the household.


 * Karen: Oh, Plankton, that's...


 * Plankton: (presses button) There can only be one! (evilly laughs; the lights go dim in the laboratory)


 * (a trap door opens in the middle of the Chum Bucket; the customers dash out of the Chum Bucket in screams)


 * Plankton: Ha ha ha! (swings from rope in the ceiling and snatches the formula before Krabs and SpongeBob reach it)


 * SpongeBob: Give us that formula, Plankton!


 * Plankton: Come and get it, Krabs! (runs down the stairs with the formula; bounds over the trap door) Almost there.


 * Karen: No! (kicks the bottle from Plankton to Krabs and SpongeBob)


 * SpongeBob: I got it! I got it! (the bottle flies over SpongeBob's hands; hits Mr. Krabs and ricochets into SpongeBob's grasp)


 * Mr. Krabs: Ow!


 * SpongeBob: I got it!


 * (the two exit the Chum Bucket)


 * Plankton: Barnacles, Karen! I was about to bring the Chum Bucket to heights never seen before! I want to be the evil one in the household.


 * Karen: Plankton, you are the evil one in the household! You inspired me to achieve the dream, my single-celled organism! No one can replace you, dear.


 * Plankton: You really think so? Gee. Well, I guess it's time to get back to the planning phase. (turns around; falls into open trap door) Karen, can you get the lights...and get me a pencil?!


 * (Karen sighs)


 * (the scene cuts to Squidward in his house, sneezing as he attempts to practice his clarinet)


 * Squidward: Well, at least I don't have to go to work.


 * Mr. Krabs: (bursts into Squidward's room) Squidward, I need someone to work the register now.


 * Squidward: Spoke too soon.


 * (Squidward sneezes to end the episode)