Compression

Compression is the S6 premiere of TEOMS, this episode was directed by John de Lancie. Frank Simmons is going to Washington D.C to join the United States Department Of Justice and John De Lancie agreed to be in the recurring cast in S6. He will appear in some episodes. This season marks the return of the Cigarette Smoking Man after vanishing in the S4 Finale. This is another clip episode.

Cast

 * Chanel SquarePants (also archive footage)
 * Major General Frank Simmons
 * Major General George Hammond (also archive footage)
 * Fox Mulder (also archive footage)
 * Dr. Daniel Jackson (also archive footage)
 * Mr. X (also archive footage)
 * Cigarette Smoking Man (also archive footage)
 * Colonel Jack O'Neill (debut)
 * Harry Maybourne (debut)
 * Mr. Krabs
 * Squidward
 * Dana Scully (also archive footage)
 * Jacob Carter / Selmak
 * Gibson Praise (also archive footage)
 * Karen Plankton / Assistant Karen (also archive footage)
 * Walter Skinner
 * SpongeBob SquarePants (archive footage) (uncredited)
 * Pearl Krabs (archive footage) (uncredited)
 * Dr. Walter Bishop (archive footage) (uncredited)
 * Teal'c (archive footage) (uncredited)
 * MacGyver (archive footage) (uncredited)
 * JellyfishJam38 (archive footage) (uncredited)
 * The Aliens (archive footage) (uncredited)
 * Patrick Star (archive footage) (uncredited)
 * Daryl Dixon (archive footage) (uncredited)
 * Timmy SquarePants (archive footage) (uncredited)

Story
Last season on TEOMS...

Frank Simmons recieves a call from an unknown caller.

Frank: Simmons.

Then, an evil voice was speaking to him on the phone.

Walter: This is your worst nightmare of all and now i'm a vampire and i will now make you a vampire.

Karen: You can't stop us!

Walter Skinner: Yeah.

Frank hanged up the phone and he brought Chanel, Teal'c, Daniel, Mr. Krabs, Squidward, Dana Scully, Gibson Praise to a emergency meeting.

Frank: Guys, we need to leave.

Teal'c: What's going on?

Daniel: Tell us now!

Mr. Krabs; The vampires, they are after us.

Squidward: We need to do something.

Frank: We need to go on the prometheus.

So they both left the SGC and the command center was on lockdown.

Frank: This Is General Simmons, i want everybody to leave the command center because vampires are coming to the command center and they are armed and dangerous, if you see them. Kill them!

They went on the prometheus and after they got on. The vampire gang came on.

Walter Bishop: You can't not escape.

Daniel: Try to catch us, bitches!

Karen: Get them!

And Chanel shot and killed Walter Bishop.

Teal'c: Simmons!

Chanel: Are you okay?

Frank Simmons: You all need to pay.......... *fainted*

They kicked the vampire gang off the prometheus and Frank and his friends both left Earth.

Chanel's phone was ringing and she answered.

Chanel: Hello?

General Hammond: Guys, this is General Hammond.

Teal'c: I thought you were dead.

General Hammond: I am not dead guys, i am in Tornoto, Canada locked up in a facility near the crossroads and the NID was covering up my death and they were using a body double of myself.

Daniel: Damn.

General Hammond: And the person that covered up my death was Dr. William Bell.

Chanel: What?

Dana Scully; I trusted him.

General Hammond: But now he is now with the NID, keep up the good work.

The call ended, then General Simmons poped up and he was saying.

General Simmons: You will all be killed by me!

Chanel: SImmons?

Teal'c: He's being controlled by the vampire gang.

Daniel: We need to do something.

They decided to open the airlock and it was open.

General Simmons: I'll get you bitches!

And his body was floating in space, until the Tok'ra arrived and transported his body.

Chanel, Daniel & Teal'c were both waiting for Jacob Carter to arrive and so he did.

Daniel: Hey, how are you doing?

Jacob: Pretty good.

Teal'c: What's going on?

Jacob: We are going to be on this ship for 6 days and our mission is to find and kill Joel Kyreck.

Chanel: Ok.

So the 4 decided to transport down to the crossroads were Dr. William Bell and Joel Kyreck were last seen.

Jacob: Now, we need to get them before they kill us all.

Daniel: Ok.

Chanel: Let's do this!

Teal'c: Indeed!

Joel Kyreck, Dr. William Bell, Karen & Walter Skinner arrived at the crossroads and they heard some noises.

Joel: What is that noise?

Dr. William Bell: I heard some people whispering.

Karen: It's Chanel and her gang!

Walter: Let's get them!

So Daniel, Chanel, Teal'c and Jacob both were firing and they shot Joel Kyreck.

Joel: Ohhhh f***.

His body exploded and Dr. William Bell and the vampire gang both escaped.

Dr. William Bell: We will be back!

Karen: Yeah!

So they both vanished and Jacob, Chanel, Teal'c & Daniel both went back to the tok'ra ship.

Then, an hologram version of Fox Mulder appears.

Fox Mulder: Hello guys.

Teal'c: Mulder, welcome back.

Daniel: I thought you were dead.

Fox Mulder: I am back to normal now and the doctors reattached my head.

Chanel: Ok, thank you. Come back soon!

He vanished.

So the 5 people transported down to Earth and they went down to Area 51 and Dr. William Bell was there and so was the vampire gang.

Karen: We all need to be quiet this time.

Walter: Yeah.

Dr. William Bell: Because what happened last time when those bastards came down to the f***ing crossroads and shot Joel Kyreck.

MacGyver: We need to shoot them down.

Patrick: Indeed.

Plankton: I'm ready.

Then they saw the 5 people loaded with guns & ammo.

Jacob: Fire when i tell you to, ok guys.

Teal'c: Indeed.

Daniel: Ok.

Simmons: Ok.

Chanel: Alright.

So they fired at the vampire gang base and they shot Dr. William Bell and MacGyver.

MacGyver: Oh god i'm dying!.....

He died and did Dr. William Bell.

Plankton: Let's get out of here!

Patrick: Indeed.

Karen: Let's go!

So the vampire gang including Plankton & Patrick left Area 51 and the others went back to the tok'ra ship.

The gang returned to Planet Earth when they saw Mulder.

Frank: Mulder, what's going on?

Mulder: Come with me.

Dana: Alright.

Squidward: What's going on?

Teal'c: Indeed.

Mulder: The SGC's been destroyed.

Daniel: What about the stargate?

Mulder: Also destroyed.

Gibson: Who destroyed them?

Jacob: I believe the vampires.

Mulder: OMG!

So the others went to the SGC as soon as possible.

The gang went to the SGC command center when they saw lots of blood and everything was destroyed.

Mulder: I don't understand.

Daniel: Me either.

Chanel: What are we going to?

Frank: We need to find out what happened here.

Jacob: Let's continue.

Then they saw another Stargate and it was opening and the vampire gang arrived.

Plankton: Hi assholes.

Patrick: Yeah.

Karen: All of you are going to be killed.

Frank: Runn!!!!!

Chanel: Get to the Stargate guys!

So Chanel opened the gate while the others try to fight back the vampire gang.

Mr. Krabs: You all are going to be destroyed vampire gang!

Frank: Indeed.

Teal'c: Yep.

So they fired on Plankton & Patrick and they both got killed while Karen & Walter decided to shot Teal'c.

Daniel: Teal'c!

Teal'c was saying his final words.

Teal'c: Get to the stargate......

He died.

Frank: F*** NO!!!!!

All of them went to the stargate including Mulder.

Fox Mulder: Let's get out of here!

So the others went to the stargate and they left. They arrived at a unknown world.

Frank: Guys, are you alright?

Dana: Yeah.

Daniel: I think so.

Gibson: Where are we?

Jacob: I don't know.

Chanel: We need to find out.

Mulder: Yes.

And then, Mr. X came back from the dead and he arrived.

Mr. X: Welcome back to Hell.

Daniel: Where are we?

Mr. X: The year is now 2176.

Chanel: What?!

The others were in shocked.

And now the conclusion...

The others found out that the year is now 2176.

Mulder: Where are we?

Mr. X: You know where you are dumb ass.

Chanel: Tell us now!

Daniel: Yeah bitch.

Frank: Tell us!

Mr. X: You are in a faclity in Tornoto, Canada and you can't escape.

Dana: Don't tell me!

Gibson: Yep.

Mr. Krabs: We are stuck.

Squidward: Where you behind all of the cospriacy theories?

Mr. X: Damn right, remember the foothold situation a couple of years ago?

FLASHBACK TO 3X07/08

Dr. Walter Bishop was walking to go see SpongeBob, until he saw Pearl.

Pearl: Hey Walter, how are you?

Walter: Pretty good. How's everything?

Pearl: Good.

Walter: Ok, i see you lat....

Then, Teal'c had a staff weapon and shot Walter.

Teal'c: You will be destroyed.

Pearl: Oh sh**!

Pearl was running.

General: What the hell is going on?

Pearl: We need to get the hell out of here.

Chanel & SpongeBob: What's going on?

Pearl: Teal'c shot Walter, and now he's going to attack us!

Dr. Daniel Jackson: Quick! let's go to the crossroads!

Chanel: Good idea.

So they both got out of there. Until Pearl was captured.

General: Guys, let's not go back. We need to go.

Daniel: He's right.

SpongeBob: Fine.

So SpongeBob, Chanel, Daniel & George both went to the crossroads.

Daniel: Here we are.

SpongeBob: Yep.

SpongeBob, Chanel, General & Daniel were in the crossroads.

General: Damn, i can't believe Teal'c captured Pearl & Walter.

SpongeBob: Well, thank god we got out of there on time.

Dr. Daniel Jackson: Damn right.

Chanel: Let's figure out where is Pearl & Walter?

General: Good idea.

The General found the location of Pearl & Walter.

General: Guys, i've found the location of Pearl & Walter.

SpongeBob: Where are they?

General: There at the Borg Factory.

Dr. Daniel Jackson: We must get there.

Then, out of nowhere, Teal'c appears.

Teal'c: Don't move!

Chanel: Teal'c, calm down, we know where your hiding Pearl & Walter.

Teal'c: Shut up, i am now taking all of you to the....

Daniel has the shotgun.

Daniel: You are terminated motherf***er!

Teal'c: I WORSHIP THE BORG SHADOW!

Daniel shoots him.

General: Well done.

Daniel: Thanks.

SpongeBob: We must get to the borg factory!

General: Good idea, let's go.

BACK TO THE FACLITY

Mr. X: Let's see what else you idiots done.

Frank: What the f*** your doing?

Mr. X: The vampires filed a civil lawsuit against you, Frank, Chanel, Daniel, Teal'c (dead), Fox Mulder.

Mulder: What?!

Mr. Krabs: That isn't good.

Mr. X: No s***, sherlock. Let's see what else you idiots done, oh yes. Remember you idiots try to stop me from kidnapping Timmy SquarePants?

Chanel: F*** off, mate.

Jacob: Yes Mr. X, you need to stop reading our personal info, that's invasion of privacy and that's under California Law.

FLASHBACK TO 2X09/10

SpongeBob, Pearl & Fox were in shock that Timmy was taken away by the ufo ship.

SpongeBob: It's sad not having Timmy.

Pearl: I know SpongeBob, but...

Then, Pearl gets a phone call.

Pearl: Hello?

Daryl Dixon: It's Daryl.

Pearl: Wait? It's you?

Daryl Dixon: Yeah, I got good news. The Cigarette Man & Alex Kyreck are both dead.

Fox: Oh yeah!!!!! :)

There were happy that the bad guys were dead.

Pearl: When are you coming back here?

Daryl: Soon..... *hangs up*

SpongeBob: Thank god their both dead, Now let's find Timmy.

They went to search for Timmy.

5 hours later....

Dana Scully was walking until MacGyver poped up out of no where.

Dana Scully: Who are you?

MacGyver: MacGyver, and i'm going to shoot you.

Scully: NOOOOOOOO!

MacGyver shot Scully twice, and token her in the car.

Sheldon J. Plankton: Good work MacGyver!

MacGyver: Thank you Plankton! Let's get out of here.

They got out of there, Gibson was standing in the sidewalk talking to someone.

Gibson: Police, we need backup!

It was darktime, Bob was standing in the forest.

Bob: Hey Guys, we are waiting for the aliens to come back to take Timmy back to earth.

SpongeBob: Ok.

They where waiting, and 2 minutes later. The aliens came back to give the body of Timmy.

The Aliens: Here is the body of Timmy. We will leave now.

The Aliens leaved.

Pearl: Timmy? Are you allright?

Timmy: Help.......... me........

SpongeBob: Let's get him to a shelter.

MacGyver was standing with the body of Patrick Star.

MacGyver: Hey assholes, here's the body of Patrick.

SpongeBob was in shocked to see him.

SpongeBob: MacGyver?!

MacGyver: SpongeBob, we meet again at last. I have the body now. You can't stop me now bitch.

Pearl: Come back here!

MacGyver and Patrick's body disspeared.

Fox: Well, Let's take Timmy back to the shelter.

SpongeBob, Fox & Pearl arrived at the shelter holding Timmy's body and then Daryl was there.

SpongeBob: Daryl? What are you doing here?

Daryl: I came to tell you that MacGyver stoled the body of Patrick Star and he's bringing it to Walter.

Fox: Ok. We have to stop him soon.

Daryl: Ok guys, i will leave now. *disspears*

Timmy: uhh...... What happened?

Pearl: You were in a ufoship and now your out.

Timmy: Ok. What happened to Cigarette Man & Alex Kyreck?

SpongeBob: They both got killed by Daryl.

Timmy: Ok, good.

BACK TO THE FACLITY

Mr. X: Then, you idiots tryed to stop me because i was standing behind the hospital room in which your friend SpongeBob got out of the portal.

Frank: Where are you getting this information from?

Daniel: Yeah, i would like to know.

Mr. X: None of your damn business.

FLASHBACK TO 2X06/07/08

Outside the C.S.M's lair. A portal opens up and somehow SpongeBob jumps out of the portal, and lies there injured.

The Cigarette Smoking Man Soliders: Who is this person?

Cigarette Smoking Man: It's him. SpongeBob.

SpongeBob SquarePants: oooooooooo, help me.

Cigarette Smoking Man: SpongeBob's injured! Get him to the hospital ASAP!

The soliders took SpongeBob somewhere.

They were walking to the hopsital and saw Dana Scully.

Scully: Mulder, thank God you are alive.

Mulder: Damn right.

Timmy: So where is SpongeBob?

Scully: SpongeBob is in a room recovering from his injuries.

Pearl: Can we see him by chance?

Scully: Sure, let's go.

The 3 surivours and Scully decide to see SpongeBob.

SpongeBob was in the hopsital room sitting.

Timmy: SpongeBob?

SpongeBob: Is that you Timmy?

Timmy: It sure is SpongeBob *gives him a hug*

SpongeBob: Pearl! You came back! :)

Pearl: Yep.

Scully: SpongeBob, can you tell us what happened after you jumped into the portal?

SpongeBob: Well, after jumping into the portal. I saw Sandy & Mr. Krabs, they told me that some guy by the name of Alex Kyreck decided to harass you guys, So i told him to f*** off and die you fag. And then somehow 24 hours ago i got out of the portal for no reason. I was injured by some staff weapon. And then i came here.

Timmy: Ok, that was a good..

Pearl: Uhhh, guys, some black man with a black coat has a knife.

Fox: Holy sh**, That means....

Pearl: Mr. X!!!

SpongeBob: Quick, let's get the f*** out of here.

So SpongeBob, Pearl, Fox & Timmy got out of the hopsital. Mr. X was standing near them.

Mr. X: You can't no pass.

Timmy: F*** you! You stupid c***sucker!

Mr. X grabs Timmy.

Mr. X: Timmy will go to the ufo ship and he will be destroyed!

Mr. X & Timmy dissapeared.

The surivours decided to look at Mr. X & Timmy.

Mr. X: Timmy, Timmy, Timmy, you will now be adoucted by aliens.

The aliens came and took Timmy:

Timmy: HOLY S***! SOMEBODY F***ING HELP ME!

The aliens took Timmy away to the ufo ship.

SpongeBob: FREEZE ASSHOLE!

Mr. X: Well, well, well, It isn't SpongeBob. the guy that i have been looking for.

Pearl: What do you want from us?

Mr. X: I have brought Karen over here. Karen, come out!

Karen decides to come out.

Assistant Karen: Do not move a step you motherf***ers!

Then, all of a suddlen, Fox Mulder decides to get out his pistol and shoot Karen.

Assistant Karen: Help me...... (she died)

Mr. X: You crazy moron! How dare....

Fox decides to shoot Mr. X in the stomach. Mr. X died.

BACK TO THE FACLITY

Mr. X: You guys have violated California Pental Codes 187, 245, 189. You could be sentenced to death.

Then, George Hammond decided to punch Mr. X and got the others out.

George: Are you guys okay?

Frank: Yeah.

Mr. Krabs: We need to get out of here.

Daniel: Yeah.

So the General and the others got out of the faclity.

2 HOURS LATER...

The others came back to the new and rebuild SGC Command Center.

Frank: Well guys, i have to go to Washington D.C.

Chanel: Are you going away?

Daniel: Yeah?

Frank: I will be gone for a while, i am going to the United States Department of Justice.

General: Thank you for running the SGC for a couple of months.

Frank: Your welcome, i will be back soon.

He left.

Jacob: I'm sure am going to miss him.

Daniel: He'll be back soon.

Meanwhile...

Colonel O'Neill and Harry Maybourne were talking about something until they saw the vampire gang.

O'Neill: Is that the vampire gang Harry?

Harry: Yes, we have our weapons.

So the vampire gang (including the Cigarette Smoking Man) arrived at O'Neill's door.

Cigarette Smoking Man: We are going to destroy them all!

Karen: Yep.

Walter: Let's do it!

To Be Continued.