Underwater Goodbye

Underwater Goodbye is the 10th episode of the second season of  Basket Sponge.

It is the 31st overall episode of the series.

Plot
LeBron is forced to leave Bikini Bottom when the media discovers where he's been hiding.

Story
[In the Bulldogs' gym, the team is practicing shooting]

Larry: (chucks the ball towards the hoop)

Patrick: (pulls out a pistol) Die, suckah! (shoots the ball)

SpongeBob: Pat, we've discussed this. When we say we're “shooting basketballs” it doesn't mean we're actually SHOOTING them.

Patrick: Oh, okay. (shoots Mr. Krabs in the butt)

Krabs: AHHH!!! What was that for?

Patrick: You have a big butt!

Lexi: What about my butt? (giggles)

Patrick: Save it for later, babe.

Plankton: Disgusting.

Krabs: You're disgusting, Plankton.

Plankton: Touche.

[LeBron is in the corner, on his laptop]

SpongeBob: Whatcha doin', Coach?

LeBron: Nothing.

Larry: You're the coach. Come coach us.

LeBron: I'm reading our game results from the past week: Monay we lost 78 to 2 against the Corral Clammers. Tuesday we lost 2 to 100 against the Boss-Town Bonecrushers. Wednesday we won 2 to 0 against the Daisy Town Dandelions. Thursday we tied 0 to 0 against the Sting Rays. Friday we lost 118 to 2 against the Sperm Whales.

Larry: You have all that on your computer?

LeBron: Nah, I'm on Skype.

SpongeBob: With who?

LeBron: My wife and kids.

Squidward: Awww, that's sweet.

LeBron: Sweet? It's terrible!!! I miss them like crazy!! Patrick: They should come live in Bikini Bottom. (starts making out with Lexi)

LeBron: Nah. Actually, there's something I need to tell you.

Larry: We're all ears.

LeBron: On land, I'm currently “missing”. The media's been trying to find me ever since I dissappeared to Bikini Bottom. Living here is a serious commitment for me.

SpongeBob: Wow.

LeBron: Fortunately, I sent Luis to take my place on the Cleveland Calaviers.

Larry: That was a very good move.

LeBron: But I don't think I can hide much longer. My wife and kids are the only people who know where I really am. They've been keeping this a secret for a long time now, and if they spill the beans....I'm ruined.

Krabs: What about Luis? Doesn't he technically know?

LeBron: True.....I never thought about that....

[On land]

Luis: (at a Cleveland Calaviers' basketball practice) Wassup, guys? I'm here!

Player: Listen, Luis. When are you gonna tell us your secret?

Luis: What?

Coach: What did you do with LeBron? Where's his body?

Luis: Whaaaat??? He's ALIVE.

Player: So you kidnapped him!

Luis: No, he's...on a little trip. I'm not allowed to tell you, but I promise he'll be back!

Coach: (points a gun at him) We'll have to this the old fashion way.

Luis: (gulp)

Coach: You've danced around the subject long enough. LeBron's been missing for over a year, and you've yet to tell us where he is.

Luis: I couldn't do that to LeBron! It'd ruin him!

Coach: (cocks the gun) You've got 10 seconds, Antonio. 10 seconds later

Coach: (to his players) Call the police! Call the marines! Call the Navy Seals! Call the president! Call Ryan Seacrest, I don't even care! LeBron's location has been revealed!

Luis: I told you where he's at, but please! Don't take him!

Coach: (smacks him) I'm getting LeBron BACK on this team, understand?

Luis: (gulp) Yessir.

[In Bikini Bottom]

LeBron: (sitting outside the gym, staring up at the sky)

Larry: (comes outside; sits beside him) Do we need to talk?

LeBron: About what?

Larry: You've been all depressed and stuff, man. It ain't cool.

LeBron: Whatever.

Larry: C'mon, man. I know something's bothering you.

LeBron: I just really miss home....

Larry: Are you kidding me? This IS your new home!

LeBron: Yeah, but just temporarily.

Larry: (sigh) Look, man. I'm not gonna let you get all emotional on me.

LeBron: Trust me, I never wanna be ON you.

Larry: Touche. That'd be a bit weird.

LeBron: Listen, I'm not leaving. I love you guys. You're my team. And until the season's over, I promise to stay here.

Larry: Thx, bro. (fist bumps him)

LeBron: Now let's get inside and do this jank.

Larry: Roger that.

[They go inside the gym]

SpongeBob: Hey, Coach! Where were you? LeBron: I was doing my business.

Larry: Well, now, you don't need to lie....

LeBron: I actually was. You just didn't notice.

Larry: Awwhh, I thought I felt something wet...

Patrick: Well, we ARE underwater.

Larry: Shuddap.

Lexi: (kisses Patrick)

Patrick: Awwh, yeah baby!

LeBron: Shut up, lovebirds. We've got game strategies to go over!

[A man in a black suit busts into the room]

Man: LeBron! Back up your things, you're coming with us.

LeBron: Who are you?

Man: I'm an FBI agent. And you've been missing for over a year. It's been reported that you've been living in an “undersea fantasy world”.

Larry: Fantasy? (pounds his fist)

LeBron: Easy, Larry.

Man: We can do this the easy way. (pulls out a gun) Or the hard way.

LeBron: I'm going NOWHERE until the Bulldogs' second basketball season is over.

Man: (chuckles) I had a feeling you'd say that. That's why I brought some backup. (whistles) Come on in, boys!

[The United States Marines busts into the gym]

Man: Surrender, LeBron. This is serious business.

LeBron: What's you name?

Man: Justin Samuel.

LeBron: Shut up, Justin Beiber!

Justin: Nobody calls me Justin Beiber! LeBron: Justin Beiber! Wassup, Beiber Boy???

Justin: You fool! Take him away, boys!

[The Marines capture LeBron and begin dragging him out of the building]

SpongeBob: Coach!

Patrick: Noooo!!!!! (Let's make out, Lexi)'

Lexi: Coach!!! You can't take him!!! (Sure thing, babe)

Larry: Give us our coach, back!

Justin: No way, freaks. He belongs above ground.

LeBron: Why do you want me so bad? I said I'm coming back eventually! Even my wife and kids are handling it better than you!

Justin: Because, I'll make millions!

LeBron: What?!

Justin: I'll be a hero! The headlines will read 'Hero Saves Missing Legend LeBron James'!

LeBron: You don't care about me! You're just a greedy jackass!

Justin: Imma be a rich, jackass. Take 'em away, boys.

[The Marines take LeBron into a government vessel; Justin hops in, and drives to the surface]

SpongeBob: (crying) NOOOOOO!!!! SHE WASN'T READY!!!!!

Krabs: ….you mean HE wasn't ready?

SpongeBob: No, I'm making a pop culture reference!

Patrick: Oh!! Pop tarts!!!

Lexi: Yaaay!!!!

Plankton: (facepalm) Oww...I crushed myself.

Squidward: Cuz you're the size of a peanut.

Plankton: I resent that!

Squidward: I know.

Plankton: :(

Larry: Guys! Y'all are bunch of WIMPS!!! I'm ashamed of you losers!!!!

Krabs: Not now, Larry! Please!

Larry: Coach needs our help! And you babies are gonna sit around crying about it? Let's take ACTION!!!

SpongeBob: To the surface?

Larry: You heard me. Together, people:

Everyone: TO THE SURFACE!!!

'''What happens next? Find out in Suicide King!'''

Trivia

 * This is the second special which involves LeBron having to leave Bikini Bottom. ("When Commitments Conflict")