New Jazz Transcript

New Jazz

(Opening shots of Squidward's house, shaded colors, because it's early in the morning.  Camera pans over to show SpongeBob's house, with visible music notes blaring out the window.)

♪Speed Freak♪

(SpongeBob's house is bouncing with the beat of the music, and the notes bounce off of Squidward's house.  On impact, they burst.)

Squidward's House: (looking annoyed) SHUT UP!!!

(SpongeBob's house lurches in surprise and ♪Speed Freak♪ stops suddenly.)

(Zoom into Squidward, with his head out the window, and SpongeBob, sitting on the window sill.)

Squidward:  SpongeBob! Why is that so loud!?

(Squidward's neck stretches closer to SpongeBob's head.)

(Camera pans towards SpongeBob.)

SpongeBob:  Oh! So Gary can hear it! He doesn't have ears, you know?

(SpongeBob ducks back into house.  Music notes start shooting out the window, ♪Speed Freak♪ starting again.  The music notes visibly push Squidward's eyes into his head, and his nose back, and his gums are exposed.)

Squidward:  SPONGE~ (Squidward is cut off by his mouth filling up with music notes.)

(Squidward sticks his tongue out, showing musical notes.)

Squidward:  Blah! ♪Speed Freak fades out♪

(Shot of Squidward's body in his portrait room, and clarinet practicing room.  The one with the windows.  Only his body is there because his neck is stretched out.)

(Neck recoils back so his head is where it's supposed to be.)

Squidward:  Moron...

(Jabs fingers into head, disfiguring his eyes.)

Squidward:  I need something to numb my brain!

(SpongeBob begins laughing, and big bubble letters spelling out HA shoot in through his window.)

Squidward:  (faces squishes) Grrrr...!

(Squidward turns around and pops the window off the wall, and tosses it on the ground.)

(SOUND: Beep!)

Squidward:  Huh?

(Camera cut to alarm clock, then zoom in on time, which reads 8:00.)

Squidward:  (while still showing time) OH NO!!!

(Cut to Squidward now.)

Squidward:  I'M LATE FOR WORK!!! (laughs.)

(cut to SpongeBob riding his unicycle.)

Squidward:  (running after SpongeBob.) SpongeBob! I need that cycle!

SpongeBob:  Oh sure Squi~

(Squidward shoves SpongeBob off.)

(Cut to Squidward riding, zoomed out slightly.)

Squidward:  Heheh.

(Giant sphere with the word KARMA painted on falls and crushes Squidward.)

(Squidward's head pops out.) (Cut to wide shot of the Krusty Krab.)

(Cut to Mr. Krabs inside, with him holding a watch.)

Mr. Krabs:  That sea-dog's 30 minutes late!

(Cut to Squidward bursting through the doors, looking very tired and worn out.  His nose is dragging on the ground.)

(Zoom out to show Mr. Krabs, seething with rage.)

Mr. Krabs:  YOU'RE FIRED!!!

(Mr. Krabs is so loud that it pushes his eyes into his head, just like the music did at the beginning.)

Squidward:  But Mr. Krabs...

(Mr. Krabs waves his butt in Squidward's face.)

Mr. Krabs: The only butt I should hear being mentioned is this 'un! (grabs Squidward's nose.) NOW GET 'YEr HIDE OUTTA ME STORE!!!

(Squidward makes a very happy face.)

(Squidward kisses Mr. Krab's cheek, putting accent on the sounds MMMWAH!

Squidward: HHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAA!

(lurches forward when waying HA!)