Snail Gangs and Old Bangs

"Snail Gangs and Old Bangs" is the fourth episode of season 1 of NKC. In this episode, Squidward runs into his ex Squilvia at a Kelpy G concert while Gary joins a snail gang.

Plot
All the cast are eating, except for SpongeBob who isn't in the house. Gary starts meowing for his food and Mr. Krabs asks where SpongeBob is. Patrick says he texted him and he said it's a busy day at the restaurant. Mr. Krabs then says someone has to feed Gary. Rex says he can't do it claiming he's a bit high, Sandy then points out he's wearing an "I love Towelie t-shirt" but Rex then claims it's a special edition I love Towelie t-shirt and that you when you press it a catchphrase from Towelie plays. Rex then presses it and Towelie says "you wanna get high?" Rex then laughs and presses it again and Towelie says "you're a towel." Rex laughs again and Towelie says "don't forget to bring a towel" and Rex laughs a third time. Mr. Krabs then says he should do it. Squidward then reminds him of the last time he took care of Gary. Mr. Krabs then tells him to feed Gary but Squidward then says he hasn't done any better. Mr. Krabs then asks if Sandy can do it. Sandy then says she's busy deciding on what to do with some gun she found in her room. Gary then meows again. Mr. Krabs then asks if Patrick can do it. Patrick says he can't talk.

15 minutes later, and they're still discussing on who should feed Gary. SpongeBob then opens the door, and knocks on it again, with bloodshot eyes. Rex asks if he got high at work and SpongeBob says he hasn't but he's been working so hard he can barely stay awake. He then falls asleep and Mr. Krabs snaps his fingers to wake him up. Mr. Krabs then tells him he should go straight to bed after eating some food, and feeding Gary. SpongeBob then says he's fine and he can just drink coffee to keep himself awake. Rex then takes the cup and finds there's a perfectly fine joint in it, he then gets the joint and smokes it to get high. Mr. Krabs tells him drinking coffee won't help and he should go to bed. He also asks why there was a joint in the cup of coffee and SpongeBob says someone must have put it in there during their smoke break and says he's going to go to bed. Mr. Krabs then tells him to feed Gary first, and to feed himself and asks if he's eaten at all. SpongeBob then says he had some food at lunch but not a lot. Mr. Krabs then tell him to eat.

While Gary is eating, SpongeBob goes on a rant about his job, during the rant Gary looks at the camera rolling his eyes. After the rant SpongeBob eats a Krabby Patty and goes to his bedroom with Gary. He says good night to Gary and falls asleep. Gary then checks to make sure SpongeBob is asleep before going over to the elevator.

Gary is then in the dining area, he notices Rex is there telling the others a story, he walks to the door completely undetected and leaves the house.

Squidward then says he's going to go somewhere, Mr. Krabs asks where and Squidward says there's a Kelpy G concert and he has two tickets. Mr. Krabs then asks who is getting the second ticket and Squidward says he had it saved incase Patrick ate it again, he then says if anyone else wants it they can have it. Rex says he wants it not because he wants to go but he's ran out of joint filters so he needs something to put the weed in. Squidward then gives him the ticket and he instantly puts the weed in it, rolls it up to look like a joint and lights it.

Meanwhile, Gary is in a gas station attempting to get cigarettes but the cashier refuses to sell cigarettes to a snail. Gary then shows that he has money and the cashier says he doesn't care if he has money he won't sell cigarettes to a snail. Gary then grabs out a gun and threatens to shoot the cashier if he doesn't give hm the cigarettes. The cashier then says he can't shoot him because he's a snail. Gary then presses the button to close the whole gas station up so no one can see in or get in. Gary then shoots the cashier, but the cashier has self defense gear on so it doesn't do anything to him. Gary then moves one of his eye antennas to the cashier and he asks what he is doing. The scene then goes to outside the gas station and the cashier screams. A snail gang then goes up to the gas station, a member says they think the gas station is closed. The leader then says "no someone else must be robbing the place, son of a bitch." Gary is then seen going up through the chimney with a pack of cigarettes in his mouth, leaving the gas station. A member of the snail gang then says they should let him join the gang. The leader then says they need to see his skills first, and they start to follow Gary.

Squidward is then in the line for the concert really excited. An octopus behind him lights a joint and Squidward tells him not to smoke weed and that it isn't cool anymore. The octopus then asks what else they're supposed to do at concerts and Squidward says he has a point and asks for a joint as well stating he has never had one before. The octopus then gives him a joint and a lighter for it, Squidward lights it and starts coughing instantly. Squidward then sees Squilvia walking up to join the line. Squidward then says oh no, and hides behind a trash can. Squilvia then walks up to the trash can and asks why she smells marijuana, she then assumes it was the person behind Squidward in the line. Squidward then says phew, and realizes everyone else is going into the concert hall and follows them.

The snail gang are outside a nightclub, where Gary is. The leader asks if one of the members got the cameras set up and they said they did. The leader then gets out his laptop and tries to connect to the cameras they set up. Another gang member shows up and the leader asks him what took him so long and he tells the gang he watched the CCTV and tells them what the CCTV shows. The gang leader then says that Gary would be perfect for the gang but he needs to see what he does at the nightclub first. The gang leader connects the laptop to the cameras and the snail gang watch Gary shoot various people in the nightclub. The leader then says that's all they needed to see. Gary leaves the nightclub and the leader starts talking to him and introduces himself as Robin and the other members, Louis, Ralph, Jack, and Max. He then asks if Gary wants to join their gang and Gary says he does. And they all leave.

Squidward enters the concert hall and walks to his assigned seat, only to find out it is right next to Squilvia. Squidward talks with one of the people working at the concert hall and asks if he can change seats but the guy tells him all seats are final. Squidward then sits down and talks with Squilvia about their relationship.

The snail gang are then in a bank, Robin grabs out a gun and asks for money. The bank teller then laughs at the gang, and Robin tells Gary to use his eye stalks to strangle the bank teller, and Gary does that. A security guard at the bank that was asleep during the whole thing then wakes up the other security guards and tells them they are being robbed, the security guard are then shown taking the snail gang away.

Squidward and Squilvia are then shown making out in Squidward's room at the house. SpongeBob enters to ask Squidward where Gary is and sees them both making out and leaves. Patrick then enters and says he thought Squidward was gay causing Squidward scream out "I am not gay!" he then asks for people to stop entering his room. Rex then enters and screams out "hey it's Mr and Mrs Cheeseburger" he then falls through the window thinking it's a door to the bathroom.

Gary and the gang are then shown outside the bank surrounded by police. The police tell them they are all going to jail, and SpongeBob shows up complaining that Gary should've asked before leaving the house, SpongeBob then puts Gary on a lead and takes him home and the episode ends.

Transcript

 * [The episode starts with every member of the cast eating, except for SpongeBob]
 * Gary: [slowly goes up to the table] Meow meow meow.
 * Mr. Krabs: Where's SpongeBob?
 * Patrick: I texted him and he said it's a busy day at the restaurant.
 * Mr. Krabs: Well someone has to feed Gary. Rex can you do it?
 * Rex: Well I can't do it, I'm a bit high. Just a little bit. Not super high.
 * Sandy: A bit high? You're wearing an I love Towelie t-shirt.
 * Rex: I am not wearing an I love Towelie t-shirt, I'm wearing a special edition I love Towelie t-shirt. Look, you can press him and he says a catchphrase. [presses the shirt]
 * Towelie: You wanna get high? [Rex laughs and presses him again] You're a towel! [Rex laughs and presses him again] Don't forget to bring a towel! [Rex laughs]
 * Mr. Krabs: Well I guess I'll feed Gary.
 * Squidward: Do you remember the last time you took care of Gary. You just used him for money.
 * Mr. Krabs: Okay fine, you feed him then.
 * Squidward: Well uh, I haven't, really done any better.
 * Mr. Krabs: Alright, Sandy can you do it?
 * Sandy: No. [gets out a gun] I'm busy trying to decide on what to do with this gun I found in my room.
 * Gary: Meow.
 * Mr. Krabs: Patrick can you do it?
 * Patrick: I can't talk.
 * [15 minutes later]
 * Mr. Krabs: Well one of us has to feed Gary. [SpongeBob opens the door with bloodshot eyes, and knocks on it]
 * Rex: Uhh, SpongeBob, did you get high at work?
 * SpongeBob: No, but I've been working so hard I can barely stay awake… [falls asleep, Mr. Krabs snaps his fingers] Oh, uh, SpongeBoy, ahoy!
 * Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, you should go straight to bed after eating some food and also feeding Gary.
 * SpongeBob: I'm fine, [gets out a cup] I can just drink this to keep me awake. [Rex gets the cup and sniffs it]
 * Rex: It's coffee. [looks inside the cup] And someone threw a perfectly good joint in it. [moving the joint as if it were a puppet and speaking in an old western accent] You shouldn't chuck away joints, poor little jointy. [smokes the joint]
 * Mr. Krabs: Well drinking coffee SpongeBob isn't going to help keep you awake, it makes you think, you have enough energy to stay awake, but in reality, you don't. And why is there a joint in the coffee?
 * SpongeBob: It definitely wasn't from me, someone must have put it in there during their smoke break. Okay, I'll go to bed then.
 * Mr. Krabs: Wait! Feed Gary first. And feed yourself! Have you eaten at all today?
 * SpongeBob: I had some food at lunch, but not a lot.
 * Mr. Krabs: Eat!
 * [Gary is eating his food while SpongeBob is going on a rant about his job]
 * SpongeBob: They force me to work longer just because there are so many people in the restaurant, meanwhile people can just leave for a smoke break, while I do all the work! [Gary looks at the camera rolling his eyes] I mean come on, what kind of logic is that? Well, I should probably eat something. [eats a Krabby Patty, scene then goes to SpongeBob and Gary going into their bedroom] Good night, Gary.
 * Gary: Meow meow, meow meow. [SpongeBob goes to sleep and Gary pretends to sleep, Gary then opens his eyes, makes sure SpongeBob is asleep, and goes to the elevator, the elevator then opens up to the dining room, where Rex is telling the others a story]
 * Rex: And then, Mr. Cheeseburger gave me a stick of gum, I chewed it and turned into a gummy bear. Then, Bill Cosby showed up for no reason and tried to eat me.
 * Sandy: Are you sure you weren't high? [Gary is in the background slowly walking to the front door, undetected]
 * Rex: No I wasn't high you [censor bleep]-ing racist. [everyone, including Gary, looks at Rex] So anyway, [Gary continues to slowly walk to the front door, undetected] then Mr. Cheeseburger protected me from Bill Cosby, and then Tom Cruise showed up and took a bite out of Mr. Cheeseburger and then Mr. Cheeseburger's wife showed up and tried to attack Tom Cruise, and uh, that's really all I remember.
 * Sandy: Did you take any drugs before this?
 * Rex: Shut up you [censor bleep]-ing bitch. Do you not believe in Mr. Cheeseburger?
 * Sandy: No! [Rex screams and then cries, Gary then leaves still undetected]
 * Squidward: Well, I'm going.
 * Mr. Krabs: Where are you going Squidward?
 * Squidward: I have two tickets to this Kelpy G concert.
 * Mr. Krabs: Wait so who's getting the second ticket?
 * Squidward: Well, I had the second ticket saved for myself, just incase Patrick ate it again. If any of you want it you can have it.
 * Rex: I'll take it, not because I want to go but I've ran out of joint filters, so I need something to put the weed in and stuff.
 * Squidward: Have fun. [gives him the ticket, Rex puts the weed in it, rolls it up to look like a joint and lights it]
 * [Gary is at the gas station trying to get cigarettes]
 * Cashier: Listen, we sell cigarettes but not to snails.
 * Gary: [gets out money] Meow meow meow meow!
 * Cashier: I don't care if you have money, I'm not selling cigarettes to a snail.
 * Gary: Meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow! Meow meow meow meow meow meow! [gets out a gun] Meow meow meow meow meow meow!
 * Cashier: Oh come on! You can't shoot me, you're a snail. [Gary presses a button to close the whole gas station up so no one can see in or get in, shoots the cashier and the cashier reveals he has self-defence gear on] Haha! [Gary moves one of his eye antennas] What are you doing? [Camera moves to outside the gas station, the cashier screams and a snail gang shows up]
 * Snail gang member: I think it's closed.
 * Snail gang leader: No someone else must be robbing the place, son of a bitch. [Gary goes up through the chimney with a pack of cigarettes in his mouth and leaves the gas station]
 * Snail gang member: Oh my god! He's Santa Claus! Always wondered what that guy did in his spare time.
 * Another snail gang member: We should let him join the gang!
 * Snail gang leader: Not yet, we need to see his skills first. [the snail gang follows Gary]
 * [Squidward is in the line for the concert]
 * Squidward: [excited] Oh boy… [octopus behind him lights a joint] Hey, don't smoke weed, it's not cool anymore.
 * Octopus: Well what else are you supposed to do at concerts?
 * Squidward: Good point. Can I have one, I've never had one before?
 * Octopus: Sure. [gives him a joint and lighter, Squidward lights a joint and starts coughing instantly]
 * Squidward: Mm… [sees Squilvia] Oh no… [hides behind a trash can, Squilvia walks up to the trash can]
 * Squilvia: [sniffs] Why do I smell marijuana?
 * Squidward: [in head] Oh no…
 * Squilvia: [looking at the man that was behind Squidward in the line] Oh it's you…
 * Squidward: Phew. [everyone else goes into the concert hall and follows them]
 * [the snail gang are outside a nightclub]
 * Snail gang leader: Alright, you got the cameras set up?
 * Snail gang member: Yep.
 * Snail gang leader: Okay, good. [he gets out his laptop, another member shows up] What took you so long?
 * Another snail gang member: I saw the CCTV footage. He strangled the cashier, with his eye stalks.
 * Snail gang leader: Ooh… He would be perfect for the gang let's just see what he does at this nightclub first. [he connects the laptop to the cameras and the snail gang watch Gary shoot various people at the nightclub] Alright, that's all we needed to see. Fucking hell, did you see what he did in there?
 * Snail gang member: Yep. How has he not been arrested yet?
 * Snail gang leader: How have you not been arrested yet, Louis?
 * Snail gang member: Fairpoint. [Gary exits the nightclub]
 * Snail gang leader: Hey, kid. [Gary points his gun at him] No, don't shoot me, I'm a criminal, just like you. Been to prison four times, escaped, four times. My name is Robin.
 * Snail gang member: Like the guy from Batman! [all of the snail gang laugh, except Robin]
 * Robin: Shut the [censor bleep] up Louis.
 * Louis: [long pause] Bitch…
 * Robin: Anyway, I'm Robin. That's Louis, he's a bitch ignore him. That's Ralph, I have no idea what he does. That's Jack, also don't know why he's here. That's Max, hey wait, [Max is smoking weed and holding a suitcase full of weed] Max stop smoking that weed. That cost us money, you know, money for us to buy stuff to help steal the weed.
 * Max: You're a [censor bleep].
 * Robin: Anyway, we're a snail gang and we were wondering if you would join.
 * Gary: Meow, meow meow.
 * Robin: Okay good. Lets go. [they all leave, cuts to Squidward entering concert hall]
 * Squidward: Lets see, 5B, 5B, where's that? [finds the seat] Oh, here it is! [camera zooms out showing the seat is right next to Squilvia] Shit. [man working at the concert hall walks by and Squidward talks with him] Excuse me, sir, can I move to another seat.
 * Man working for the concert hall: I'm sorry sir, but all seats are final.
 * Squidward: But, I can't sit there.
 * Man working for the concert hall: No, you can, but you don't want to.
 * Squidward: Can I sit somewhere else?
 * Man working for the concert hall: No.
 * Squidward: I don't like you. [man walks off, and Squidward sits down] Hi.
 * Squilvia: Hello.
 * Squidward: So… Our relationship, it's a…
 * Squilvia: Yeah, I agree, can I speak now?
 * Squidward: Uhh… Sure...
 * Squilvia: I, still love you.
 * Voice: Woah, wow, that's incredible. [camera zooms out showing the voice is coming from someone in the row behind them]
 * Squilvia: Do you mind?
 * Voice: Sorry. Go on.
 * Squidward: Wait so why did you end our relationship in the first place?
 * Squilvia: Long story.
 * Voice: [makes a rainbow over his head with his hands] Originality.
 * Squilvia: Shut up.
 * Voice: Make me. [Squidward punches him and Squidward and Squilvia kiss] I knew that would happen.
 * Squidward: Shut up!
 * [The snail gang are in a bank: Robin gets out his gun]
 * Robin: Give us all your money.
 * Bank teller: [laughing] You can't be serious.
 * Robin: Gary use your eye stalks. [Gary strangles the bank teller with his eye stalks, a security guard wakes up]
 * Security guard: [trying to wake up the other guards] Wake up! Wake up
 * Other security guard: What do you want?
 * Security guard: We're being robbed!
 * Other security guard: Who cares?
 * Security guard: We can get paid for dealing with this.
 * Other security guard: Hell yeah. [the guards take the gang away]
 * [Squidward and Squilvia are in Squidward's room making out]
 * Squilvia: That was a great date Squidward.
 * Squidward: It wasn't a date.
 * Squilvia: Oh yeah. [SpongeBob enters]
 * SpongeBob: [yelling] Squidward have you seen Gary?! [Squidward screams] I think I'll ask someone else. [SpongeBob leaves and Patrick enters]
 * Patrick: I thought you were gay.
 * Squidward: I am not gay! Can you all just stop entering my room please? [Rex enters]
 * Rex: Hey, it's Mr. and Mrs. Cheeseburger!
 * Squilvia: Who is he?
 * Squidward: I think it's best you don't know.
 * Rex: Ooh. I need a pee. Oh there's the bathroom! [falls through the window]
 * [Gary and the gang are outside the bank surrounded by police]
 * Cop: You are all going to prison!
 * SpongeBob: Gary! [SpongeBob is shown to be there] Gary, come here right now! [Gary goes to SpongeBob] Gary, you're in big trouble, you should've asked me first if you could leave the house. [puts a lead on Gary and tries to get passed the police] Excuse me! [police let him passed and the episode ends]

Trivia

 * This episode aired on May 20, 2018 at 10pm on the SBN network.

Reception
What did you think of "Snail Gangs and Old Bangs?" Amazing episode Great episode Good episode Meh episode Bad episode Terrible episode