The New Tomahawks

The New Tomahawks is the fourteenth episode of the fourth season of Basket Sponge. This episode is the 74th episode overall.

Plot
As the Bulldogs ready for their 6th game in the tournament, they go up against the Toon Tomahawks and they have seemed to re-grouped their team with a stronger coach!

Transcript
[The episode begins as Kobe looks online for the listing of the next team of the POBA tournament after what happened after he wrote it on his hand from “The Klaw”. The teams already had 5 games so far, the next one is on the horizon. He then stares closely at the screen as it reveals that the page won’t load further.]

Kobe: Oh, c’mon! YouTube loads faster than this!

[Someone knocks on his door as Kobe opens it, it’s Ajit Pai.]

Ajit: Hi, I heard you were complaining about your bad internet. I WANT to improve it.

Kobe: First thing… don’t stalk me, Second… I’m against that stuff and finally, how can you breathe underwater?

[Ajit tries to answer but has run out of breath and tries to find money but Kobe checks the back of his neck where he turns Ajit off.]

Kobe: And that’s Net Neutrality in a nutshell.

[He throws out Ajit Pai outside of his apartment.]

Angry Fish: HEY! IT’S THE GUY WHO WANTS TO PAY FOR THE INTERNET!

[We hear them punching the corpse of Ajit Pai outside.]

Kobe: I wonder who sent me that.

[A silver badge from the makers flies into the apartment, it reads “T_E TOMB T__AHAWKS”, he gets confused as he keeps the badge in his pocket. He starts looking at the next day as he has a deck chair out for the next practice as he keeps looking at it, SpongeBob has a peek behind him. Kobe gets a bit of a silent fright as he looks at the yellow Sponge looking behind him.]

Kobe: Sponge… What are you doing behind me?

SpongeBob: You’ve been like that since the start of the practice, I wanted to help you with what you’re looking at.

Kobe: Wait until we’re finished here, Sponge. Then we’ll talk over this.

SpongeBob: GREATTT.

[Everyone else still practicing looks at both with a confused look on their face as Kobe nods to say no to whatever they’re thinking.]

[Kobe then lets SpongeBob into his apartment as SpongeBob looks curiously around the place.] Kobe: Yeah… it’s a mess. But I got this thing from a fight…

SpongeBob: Okay, what does it say?

Kobe: Made by ‘T_E TOMB T__AHAWKS’

[SpongeBob feels weird now as he rushes over to look at it.]

SpongeBob: That sounds almost the same as…

[He writes down with his pencil on the paper as it reveals as THE TOON TOMAHAWKS.]

Kobe: You guys have mentioned it once or twice, didn’t kind of believe you then. Then afterwards, I had a nightmare. This guy said, “We’re back.”

SpongeBob: Did he look a bit English?

Kobe: Yep.

SpongeBob: He’s their coach.

Kobe: Right…

[SpongeBob looks at his laptop as the page has now loaded for the schedule of the POBA Tournament for the next game (number 6th), THE BIKINI BOTTOM BULLDOGS versus THE TOON TOMAHAWKS.]

SpongeBob: Get the team ready, Kobe. We need to be extremely good for them.

Kobe: Why? How would you know?

SpongeBob: Call us and them enemies against each other.

Kobe: Right…

SpongeBob: We’ll tell them tomorrow, okay. Can’t keep this secret for too long.

[He leaves the apartment as Kobe goes back onto the laptop… but then he hears something, as he tries to find out what it is… he gets knocked out.]

[Then he wakes up, in the same deck chair he was in the gym.]

Kobe: Oh… thanks, don’t bring me back to the NBA.

Venice: Would love to honey… but you’ve still got to finish the POBA first.

Kobe: Right, and who might you be?

Venice: The coach. Alex Johnson to be exact. No need for introductions, Bryant. Bulldogs bring you in this time?

Kobe: More like I came in after LeBron died. I think you guys were a part of that. Venice: Guys, we do that, did we?

[They all nod and mumble in response.]

Kobe: Why all the Reservoir Dogs stuff then?

Venice: I wanted to give you a taste what we can do to you.

Kobe: Couldn’t I just ask my team what you do?

Venice: Enough, Bryant. We’ll see you on the court….

[She throws a smoke grenade at his feet as he wakes up in the same chair in his room, he opens up his phone to call SpongeBob.]

[SpongeBob is now at home, feeding Gary as the phone rings.]

SpongeBob: Hello?

Kobe: SpongeBob, the Tomahawks spoke to me.

SpongeBob: So, what did they do to you?

Kobe: I just told you. They’re not aliens.

SpongeBob: Sorry. I’ve just been watching a movie about aliens and…

Kobe: Leave it, I might have seen it myself.

[We cut to the next day, Kobe is just still in the chair in the gym.]

SpongeBob: Was it the aliens story I told him?

Larry: SpongeBob, what the hell are you talking about?

SpongeBob: I saw this movie once and we were on the phone and I was about to talk about what the aliens did as…

[He tries to remember, but he forgets.]

SpongeBob: Ah crabsticks, I forgot what happened.

Larry: Crabsticks? Does anybody mind if I punch him to wake up?

SpongeBob: No.

Squidward: Nope.

Plankton: No.

[Lexi and Patrick are kissing as they mumble no together as Larry goes to punch Kobe before Kobe wakes up and catches Larry’s paw in his hand, as Larry lowers his paw but Kobe tries to shake the pain out of his hand.]

Kobe: Sorry guys, I was just tired. We’re up against the Toon Tomahawks next…

Larry: Oh yeah, them…

Kobe: They’ve changed since the last time I knew about them.

Patrick: Wasn’t that like in season one?

Lexi: Patrick. What’s season one?

Patrick: I don’t know.

Lexi: Neither do I. Let’s just continue to make out.

[They keep on kissing afterwards.]

Larry: Kinda missed that really.

Kobe: We should practice more because of the Tomahawks.

Larry: I don’t think we should. We’ve usually beat the Tomahawks on our easy mode.

SpongeBob: Larry, this isn’t Jumanji 2, we don’t live in a game.

Patrick (mumbling): I’ve died so many times that I should have got a game over by now.

Plankton: Why doesn’t just cut to the game now?

[And we do, we cut to the start of the game where both of the teams meet up. Most of them are surprised at why Venice (to Kobe, Alex.) is there.]

SpongeBob: Why didn’t you tell me she was their coach?

Kobe: You rambled on about aliens! Plus I met them once, SpongeBob. It’s not like I know the team every day.

Larry: K, why’s she there?

Kobe: Don’t know.

Larry: Okay, K.

[Kobe looks at Larry…]

Kobe: Don’t call me K.

Larry: I can call you whatever you want and you won’t do anything to me.

[Now on the court, everyone is against everyone here.]

Announcer: This is the match that has been hyped up since the beginning of the tournament. The Tomahawks against The Bulldogs. Every time we’ve had this, it’s always been as epic as the best blockbuster. In 2016, that was Suicide Squad. That wasn’t epic. Anyways, we begin…

[The ball goes to Larry as he dribbles it across the court as he sees if he can hit the hoop as the ball falls out and Larry tries to get it but Michael Clownfish, returning after he quit in The End of Time.]

Larry: Mike? I thought you quit.

Michael: Oh, I just had to come back after she came in. Much better than Adam ever was.

Larry (thinking to himself): What the hell did she do to those guys?

[Michael scores a two-point hoop for the team as the score is now stated as 2-0 to the winning side of the Tomahawks.]

Kobe: Larry!! Why?

Larry: I got distracted by one of their members.

Kobe: What’s wrong with one of their members?

Larry: Nothing…

Kobe: Larry, tell me when there is a problem with one of the members.

[Larry just mildly nods at him. Next, this time SpongeBob has the ball and a guy who looks a little bit familiar to an old member takes the ball off him and hits it in the hoop. Score at the moment: T Tomahawks – 18, B Bulldogs – 10.]

SpongeBob: Who got the ball off me?

Jessie: YES. Finally… JESSIE SCORES THE HOOP.

SpongeBob: Jessie? I thought you were…

[Jessie rushes up to SpongeBob.]

Jessie: Fat, my boy? Not anymore.

SpongeBob: Isn’t that gonna anger a lot of our fans that you’re not fat anymore?

Jessie: I never had fans before now. Now, I’m Hugh Heffner!

Patrick: Isn’t he dead?

Jessie: WAIT? WHAT? ALEX? HOW COME YOU?

Venice: I forgot, Jessie.

[He runs away crying.]

Kobe: Heck, I’ve been here for this long and I knew he was dead.

Venice: How did you then?

Kobe: I think it was…

[Cut to later in the game as Jessie is back from his crying fit over Hugh Heffner’s passing and is reading Playfish to comfort himself on the stands with Venice and Kobe. The score is The Toon Tomahawks – 39, The Bikini Bottom Bulldogs – 39. Time left: under a minute.]

Kobe (mumbling to himself): Come on… Come on… come on guys…

[The ball is passed from Larry to Squidward to Lexi, who tries to put the ball in as one of the members of the Tomahawks grabs it off her and she runs off to save it, but the ball is thrown into the Tomahawks hoop. 41. The match ends.]

Kobe: Never keep your hopes up, Bryant… Always comes to bite you back.

Venice: Great match, Bryant. Especially in how we won.

Kobe: Yeah, but we’ll come back….

Venice: Heh, would love to see you not in the finals. Make a change…

Kobe: Exactly. That’s what my team needs. A change.

[He signals for them to leave the court.]

Lexi: Should have thrown it higher.

SpongeBob: You did well, Lexi… We all did.

[By the time the rest of the team are outside, Kobe has disappeared from them.]

Larry: Guess he finally got sick of our ass.

SpongeBob: He’s probably gone home, Larry.

Larry: Or maybe he got kidnapped by Patrick and sent to Cleveland for the two hundredth time.

SpongeBob: Don’t worry… I’ve ripped that stuff up.

[Meanwhile, we join Kobe back at home – sweating furiously as someone knocks on the door.] Kobe: Just come in… I’m too tired to get up.

[The person who opens the door is Adam Smith, the old coach.]

Kobe (sarcastic): Oh no… not… a guy.

Adam: I would have said that too, if I didn’t already know who you were – Mr Bryant. Now don’t worry, I don’t want to kill you. Just saying hi and moving on with my life.

Kobe: Weren’t you the original coach of the Tomahawks or something?

Adam: Yeah, I was. I got too bored of it and the troubles with my team. I’m a writer now. Thought it would be useful.

Kobe: So, who’s Alex? The new coach for the Tomahawks.

Adam: My wife.

Kobe: Really?

Adam: Yeah… should have asked your team. Everyone was there at the wedding, even your predecessor.

Kobe: Sorry, what?

Adam: LeBron.

Kobe: Yeah, him…

Adam: Had a good relationship with him. Nice guy in the end. Hopefully you don’t do anything to my wife, or you’ll have me to account for.

Kobe: Thanks for reminding me then.

Adam: See you bro. Might turn up one last time…

Kobe: Okay.

Adam: Actually… here.

[He writes down his phone number for him.]

Adam: Have it, on the house… from me to you.

[He leaves as Kobe looks at the number closely, then he gets up and looks out as we fade to Adam leaving the house to go to the airport and SpongeBob looking out before he goes to bed to sleep.]

[END OF EPISODE.]