New Kelp City (Across the Seven Seas)



The fifth episode of Plankton: Across the Seven Seas

Transcript
Narrator: Previously on Plankton: Across the Seven Seas...

(The Chum-Bot destroys imitations at a ravaged Tentacle Acres. When he's finished, two security officers point tarter sauce guns at him.)

Officer 1: Put your hands up, robot scum.

Plankton: That wasn't me! The ones with the big metal claws did that!

Officer 2: In our eyes, you're all the same. (handcuffs Plankton)

(Cut to a jail cell. Plankton bangs on the bars, to no avail. A pickle-like creature pops out of the ground.)

Billy: I'm Billy the Sea Cucumber! (at the evidence room) Your robot should be around here somewhere.

Plankton: There it is! (hugs the Chum-Bot's legs)

Officers: (runs in) Halt! (second officer shoots Billy)

Plankton: (at a hospital) Let's hope your insurance covers tarter sauce poisoning. (at an alleyway) That robot you shot down wasn't a menace. I was using it to stop the real menaces.

Officer: I'm gonna have to take you to court. If you want to win this, you're gonna have to be really convincing. This is your life on the line, and if what you're saying is true, this is everyone's life on the line.

Plankton: (at the hospital) Well, Billy, I'm a free man. I asked the cops to bring the robot here so you can watch me walk off into the sunset.

Officer: (walks in) Plankton, I've got some bad news for you. The Chum-Bot was bought from the TAPD last night by a Dr. P. Lankton.

(Bubble transition to a hotel room. Plankton is in the room staring blankly at the television when Billy walks in.)

Billy: You do know that the television isn't on, right?

(Plankton says nothing.)

Billy: I'll take that as a "yes".

(Plankton rolls over in the bed and moans loudly.)

Billy: Come on, man! You didn't go through all that trouble for nothing, did you?

Plankton: Yes, Billy. I did. Without my Chum-Bot, without my Karen, I'm useless.

Billy: You are not useless! You've gotten this far, haven't you?

Plankton: Yeah, but I can't ward off those nefarious robots by myself.

Billy: You don't have to. When I was released from the hospital, the police told me that they wouldn't send me back to the penitentiary if I agreed to get the heck out of Tentacle Acres as soon as possible!

Plankton: (sits up) Really?

Billy: Yep! I'm getting ready to leave right now, and I'd love for you to come with me. We can team up and fight those nasty robots together!

Plankton: But why do you want to help me?

Billy: Because thanks to your insistence that the squids in blue let me off easy, I'm free to stealthily shoplift all I want! I owe you more than you could ever know.

Plankton: Well, I doubt we'll be able to accomplish much even as partners, but I guess it's worth a shot.

Billy: Great! Get dressed and meet me at the golden gate!

Plankton: I don't wear clothes.

Billy: What a coincidence! Neither do I! See ya at the gate! (zips out of the room)

Plankton: (sighs) Well, looks like I'm back on the road.

(Cut to a street. Billy recklessly drives a shiny boatmobile through the morning traffic while Plankton screams in the passenger seat.)

Billy: (singing) On the road again...Just can't wait to get on the road again...The life I love is making music with my friend...sss...I can't wait to get on the road again!

Plankton: Where did you get this boatmobile from again?

Billy: Some questions are better left unanswered. On that subject, however, do you know of a good spot to dispose of a license plate?

(Billy takes a license plate out of his pocket, and Plankton resumes screaming.)

(Cut to a sign saying "New Kelp City - Population: A lot". Billy and Plankton speed past the sign with police cars trailing behind them.)

Plankton: (panicked) Pull over, Billy! Pull over!

Billy: What are you, crazy? I haven't have this much fun in years! Woo-hoo!

(Billy swerves left and right to avoid gunshots, and Plankton tries desperately to put his seatbelt on.)

Policeman: (talks through shell) Don't make this hard for us. Pull over now and we'll forget this whole chase sequence ever happened.

Billy: That sounds boring!

Plankton: (lets go of seatbelt) Boring? It's a great offer, and I'd suggest taking (flies from boatmobile) IIIIIT!

Billy: (flying with Plankton) Those speed bumps just come out of nowhere!

Plankton: This is terrible! The only thing that could stop us from being captured and arrested now is a conveniently placed device consisting of a piece of taut, strong fabric stretched over a steel frame using many coiled springs!

(A trampoline suddenly appears, and the duo bounces off of it.)

Billy: Wow! Wish for a million dollars next, won't you?

(The police cars stop around the empty seahicle. Billy and Plankton land on top of a large building, and once they regain their composure, they take in the massive sights around them.)

Plankton: This place is beautiful.

Billy: Yeah, it definitely beats looking at the wall of a jail cell all day.

Plankton: We should just sit here, Billy. Sit here for the rest of our short lives, admiring this perfect view.

Billy: But what about that plot device? The one with the robots.

Plankton: (groans) Oh, right. The imitations. A large city like this should be crawling with them.

Billy: What do these "imitations" look like again?

Plankton: They're basically shiny, greedy crabs. Why?

Billy: (points) I think I see a few of them heading towards the First National Bank of Kelp.

(Plankton takes out a telescope and points it toward the bank. He watches in shock as the imitations break in through the windows.)

Plankton: Oh, no! I can't let them infiltrate another bank!

Billy: Infiltrate? You speak funny.

Plankton: (rolls eye) Come on!

(Plankton grabs Billy and jumps off the skyscraper.)

(Cut to the First National Bank of Kelp. Plankton and Billy parachute in as the imitations get ready to shoot rockets at the bank's safe.)

Billy: Now what?

Plankton: Do you still have that license plate from earlier?

Billy: (takes out license plate) Of course!

Plankton: Alright, then. Hand it over. I'm about to play a game of Frisbee.

Billy: Is this really the best time to be playing...

(Plankton snatches the plate from Billy, and when he throws it, it slices through all the imitations.)

Billy: Frisbee?

Bank manager: Oh, thank goodness you two got here in time! Say, where have I seen you before?

(Billy and Plankton look up to find a "WANTED" sign with badly drawn pencil sketches of them.)

Plankton: It must have been at a dinner party. Sorry we can't stay for long. Goodbye!

(Billy and Plankton run out of the bank to find wanted posters of them everywhere.)

Plankton: Man, these guys really take speeding seriously.

Billy: We're gonna need disguises if we're going to destroy all those robots in peace.

Plankton: (points) Hey, look! A costume shop!

Billy: We sure are having a lucky day!

(Billy and Plankton walk into and out of the costume shop in seconds. They're both wearing Groucho glasses and propeller caps.)

Plankton: Nobody'll recognize us now! Plus, these hats serve the added purpose of letting us patrol New Kelp from the skies!

Billy: This fake mustache really itches.

Plankton: A small price to pay to save humanity!

Billy: I still think we should have gone with the gorilla masks.

(Plankton and Billy flick the propellers of their caps, sending them into the air. Plankton takes out his telescope and uses it to patrol the streets from above.)

Plankton: There don't seem to be any disturbances so far.

Billy: I'm hungry. Can we stop for some fast food?

Plankton: No! We've already wasted enough time. Anyway, I think I've found the imitations' convening place. I'm gonna take a closer look. (flies down)

Billy: I hope they're convening at a Mediterranean restaurant. (follows Plankton)

(Cut to an abandoned Codway theater. An imitation double-takes, then it rolls into the theater with a heavy bag slumped over its shoulder. Billy and Plankton peek out of the bag to find dozens of imitations filling the stage with gold bars.)

Imitation 1: (empties contents of bag onto stage) I have finished securing the assets of the last of the Shore Lane investors.

Imitation 2: Good, good. Now we can begin our pursuit of the lower-income neighborhoods. Remember, also, to be on the lookout for the little green fellows that destroyed our partner in crime.

Imitation 3: Little green fellows? You mean like those?

(Zoom in to Plankton and Billy as they pull themselves out from the pile of gold. The imitations immediately point rockets at them.)

Plankton: (whispering) We should have planned this out better.

Billy: (whispering) We? I'm an accomplice at worst.

Imitation 4: You have a lot of nerve coming around here.

Plankton: And you have a lot of nerve attacking the fine citizens of New Kelp City!

(Imitation 4 shoots a rocket a Plankton, which he's quick to dodge.)

Plankton: Your silly little missiles don't scare me!

Imitation 5: What about this?

(Imitation 5's arm transforms into a complex machine of rockets and bazookas and flamethrowers.)

Plankton: Yeah, I'm kind of afraid of that. RUN!

(Billy and Plankton attempt to slide behind the curtain, but one of the imitations blocks their path.)

Imitation 6: (wags finger) Uh-uh-uh. (punches Plankton)

Billy: Plankton!

(Imitation 6 kicks Billy into the pile of gold, and Billy angrily throws a gold bar at the imitation in response, knocking its head off. As Imitation 6 confusedly looks for its head, Plankton takes the opportunity to shove his spinning propeller cap into the imitation's exposed circuits, blowing it up.)

Billy: Quick thinking, Plankton!

Plankton: All in a day's work.

Imitation 7: Wait, why are we standing here? Get them!

(The imitations shoot rockets at Billy and Plankton as they climb up the curtain and jump onto a hanging lamp.)

Billy: If those things keep up their assault, we won't be swinging here much longer!

Plankton: Don't worry! I've just come up with another idea.

Billy: Great! What is it?

Plankton: We're going to fall!

Billy: (pauses) I don't like that idea.

(A rocket breaks the last of the lamp's support. It collapses on the remains of Imitation 6, leading to an intense electrical explosion that sends the gold everywhere. The resulting fire covers the theater in smoke, and as the imitations attempt to collect their profits, the sprinkler system goes off and electrocutes them all.)

(Cut to the back door of the theater. Billy and Plankton, covered in ashes, crawl out.)

Billy: (coughs) It's a wonder how we survived that ordeal.

Plankton: (coughs) The good guys always live, my friend.

(Plankton looks up and sees another wanted sign, this time with a sketch of SpongeBob SquarePants on it.)

Plankton: CheeseHead BrownPants? I don't even want to know what SpongeBob did here to become a public menace.

Billy: SpongeBob? That's the guy that got my brother Kevin kicked out of his jellyfishing club! (notices Plankton's stare) He's a nerd. You get used to it. But man, my days with him and the folks were some of the best days of my life. Fighting robots and being on the run is good and exciting and all, but nothing can compare to good old-fashioned family fun. Sweet Neptune, I miss my family. I haven't even talked to them since I got locked up. They must be worried sick. Would you be alright if I broke off to visit them?

Plankton: Sure. Even though my family's full of idiots, I know what it's like to be homesick.

Billy: Thanks. I'll be at Condo Island, if you ever want to send me a postcard or something. (walks off)

Plankton: Yeah... a postcard... (walks in the opposite direction)

(The End)