Blackened Fish

Transcript
(Scene cuts to Fred and Sadie waking up) Baby Rechid starts crying.

Sadie: "Fred could you go check on the baby?" Fred walks into the bathroom.

Sadie (sighs): "I'll take care of it." Sadie walks down the hall and into the baby's room.

(Scene cuts to Fred sitting on the toilet)

Fred: "AAAHHH. Thank Neptune that one finally came out. Well I better get down stairs and eat.

Sadie (from downstair): "Fred! What did you do with the toaster?! It's not here!" Fred notices a newspaper lying next to him.

Fred: "Or I could stay in here for a little longer." Fred picks up the newspaper and starts reading.

French Narrator: "Thirty minutes later." Sadie starts pounding on the bathroom door.

Sadie: "Fred! What's taking so long? You've been in there for thirty minutes!" Fred sighs and flushes the toilet. Fred gets up to grab some toilet paper but his legs are asleep.

Fred: "Oh no! My legs are asleep!" Fred falls and hits his head on the toilet paper roll before landing on the floor. Fred gets up and opens the door.

Sadie: "Holy fishpaste! You have a black eye Fred! Here let me bandage that up for you." Sadie grabs a bunch of bandages and starts putting them on Fred's eye.

Sadie: "There, now it's all better! How'd you get that black eye anyway?"

Fred: "My legs fell asleep while I was on the toilet so when I got up I fell and hit my eye on the toilet paper roll." Sadie starts laughing uncontrollably.

Sadie: "Your legs fell asleep from being on the toilet for so long? I'm sorry Fred, I can't stop laughing!" Sadie falls onto the floor from laughing so hard. Fred walks out of the room.

Fred: "I can't tell anyone else about this."

(Scene cuts to imaginary vision)

Pilar: "Ha Ha Ha Ha! You got a black eye from siting on the toilet for too long? You're such an idiot, Fred!

Nat: "Yeah! Ha Ha Ha Ha!"

(Vison ends)

Fred: "AAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!"

Fred: "Keep Cool Fred. You'll be ok, and you just have to hide your eye for the whole day, it'll be gone tomorrow."

Monroe Timmy: "Dad, why does your eye have a blanket on it?

Fred: "I gave myself a black eye."

Monroe: "How?"

Fred: "Umm...I...was having a fight with...Harold, yeah!"

Monroe: "Oh okay!"

Fred: "Phew! That was a close one!" Fred walks outside and sees Nat and Shubie pushing Baby Billy in a stroller past his house.

Shubie: "Hi Fred!

Fred: "Hey Shubie."

Shubie: "What happened to your eye?"

Fred: "Oh I just got into a fight with Harold." Harold walks over to them.

Harold: "Hey Fred!" Fred gulps.

Shubie: "Why did you get into a fight with Fred, Harold?"

Harold: "What?! I never got into a fight with you!"

Nat: "Wait so you're lying? What happened to your eye then?"

Fred: "Uh... uh... I'm a professional boxer!"

Nat, Shubie and Harold: "What?!"

Nat: "You're a professional boxer?"

Fred: "Yeah I actually just fought my first match last night, that's how I got this black eye."

Harold: "Really? I'm a huge fan of boxing!" Harold pulls out a boxing magazine.

Harold: "Who did you fight against?" Fred looks through the magazine.

Fred: "Uh... uh... it was The Anchovy!"

Harold: "The Anchovy?! He's one of the best! Did he destroy you?"

Fred: "What? No he didn't destroy me! I was about to knock him out actually but he cheated and spit in my eye so I couldn't see. Then he gave me this black eye and the referee had to stop the fight since I couldn't see anymore. If I ever fight the Anchovy again I'll beat the barnacles out of him!" Lenny walks by and over hears them.

Lenny: "You fought against The Anchovy?! That's Mabel's cousin! I can't wait to tell her about this!" Fred gulps.

(Scene cuts to Fred eating breakfast the next day) The door bell rings and Fred opens it.

Fred: "Hello?" The Anchovy grabs him by the neck and picks him up.

The Anchovy: "So you're the punk that lied to everyone in town and said that I cheated in a fight against you or else you would've beaten the barnacles out of me?! Well let's put that lie to the test. Meet me behind the Barg 'N Mart tomorrow at 5 and we'll settle this like real men. Don't chicken out and make me come get you." The Anchovy drops Fred and slams the door.

Fred is dizzy seeing purple stars. He shakes it off.

Fred: "Stupid Stupid Stupid, Why am I so STUPID!?!" Fred slaps himself in the face.

Fred looks at inflatable muscles.

Fred: " Hmm, Maybe I can try doing what that sponge did? "

More to come...