Definitely Not Ice Cream City

Definintetly Not Ice Cream City is the second episode of Definitely Not SpongeBob SquarePants. It was written by SuperFanonD.

Transcript
(Scene: DNSS HQ)

Adam: Welcome to Definitely Not SpongeBob SquarePants, the only show that is Definitely Not SpongeBob SquarePants. I'm Adam,

Jake: I'm Jake,

Adam And Jake: And together we're Adam 'n' Jake.

Jake: I thought we agreed I'd start this time.

Adam: I forgot, I had my mind on something else.

Jake: What?

Adam: Since we can't afford the budget here, we have to move DNSS HQ to Ice Cream City!

Jake: I love ice cream! Why is this bad?

Adam: (slaps face) We'll have to take the place down and build the entire thing again, which will cost even MORE money!

Jake: Uh-oh!

Adam: And the location.

(Scene: Ice Cream City Vacant Lot)

(place is full of trash)

Jake: Stay calm, stay calm. Get your mind off it with this short.

(short: Spongelanders)

SpongeBob: I am ready for battle! Let me just update my status. (pulls out phone) ready..... 4.... battle. Augh, these button are so tiny! You need a needle to hit them!

Squidward: Just FIGHT!

Patrick: Our contestants are.... wait, before I do this, let me update my status. (pulls out phone) announcing.... contestants. Really, what fingers can hit these?

Squidward: Come ON!

(scene: Ice Cream City Vacant Lot)

Adam: They should make a restriction for phones in battle.

Jake: Let's go back to DNSS HQ.

Adam: Let me update my status. (pulls out phone) going.... 2..... DNSS.... HQ.

Jake: (rolls eyes) Let's go.

(scene: DNSS HQ)

Adam: We need to stop them from moving the DNSS HQ!

Jake: But how?

Adam: Um..... why don't we do the topic of the day?

Jake: How is that going to help?! We need to stop them from movi-

Adam: Why does SpongeBob live in a pineapple?

Jake: Um... because he loves fruit?

Adam: And wouldn't it be all soggy and gross from being underwater for so many years?

Jake: Wait, that gives me an idea!

Adam: How does soggy pineapples give you an idea? Whatever, I'll watch a short.

(short: Spongealot)

SpongeBob: Sir, I am late. Sorry. Here is your royal throne. (pulls up chair)

Squidward: Is it royal?

SpongeBob: Yep.

Squidward: Is it royal royal?

SpongeBob: Yep.

Squidward: Is it royal royal ROYAL?

Patrick: It's ROYAL!

Squidward: So it's not royal royal royal.

SpongeBob: (rolls eyes)

(scene: DNSS HQ)

Adam: I got an idea, too!

Construction Worker: (knocks on door) Are you ready for the location moving?

Adam: Before we do this..... another question. How is Pearl a whale if her father's a crab?

Jake: Because whales are crabs.

Adam: No they aren't.

Jake: OR ARE THEY?

Adam: Let's answer the door. Remember our "plans".

Jake: (opens door) Want some soggy pineapples?

Construction worker: Uh....

Adam: Will this be expensive, expensive expensive, or expensive expensive EXPENSIVE?

Construction Worker: Um....

Jake: THE SOGGY PINEAPPLES ARE GETTING COLD!

Adam: Tell me the cost! COSTLY, COSTLY COSTLY, OR COSTLY COSTLY COSTLY? TELL ME!

Construction Worker: You guys are weird! I'm outta here! (shuts door, runs away)

Jake: It worked! Let's celebrate by watching a short.

(short: SpongeCat MeowPants)

SpongeCat: Meow.

Siameseward: Meow meow meow meow meow.

Gary: I'M the one who talks. But I'M the snail.

(scene: DNSS HQ)

Adam: Next time, we're celebrating with a better short.

Jake: Well, I guess we'll see you next time on -

Adam and Jake: Definitely Not SpongeBob SquarePants!

(episode ends)

Trivia

 * This was the first episode to be written by SuperFanonD in Definitely Not SpongeBob SquarePants.