Amazon Aletrick

"Amazon Aletrick" is the third episode of season 1 of NKC. In this episode, Mr. Krabs starts a drug business with Sandy and Rex, while SpongeBob gives Patrick an Amazon Alexa, that he ends up falling in love with.

Plot
The episode opens with SpongeBob helping Patrick in his room. Patrick asks what time it is and SpongeBob checks his phone and says it is "quarter-past 4." Patrick then asks if it’s PM or AM. SpongeBob then says "PM Patrick." Patrick then asks "what does that mean?" SpongeBob then angrily screams, and then gets his phone out. Patrick then says "you're taking too long" SpongeBob then screams again and says "I haven't even got the dictionary app open yet, give me a chance." Patrick then says "no." SpongeBob then says that pm means post meridiem, meaning past midday. Patrick then says he doesn't know what that means, prompting SpongeBob to scream in anger again.

SpongeBob is then shown reading Patrick a bedtime story, Three Little Pigs, he is shown angrily reading the last page, "He could not get those bricks to budge! Breathless and weak, the wolf lay on the ground like a balloon out of air. The end!" Patrick is then heard snoring and SpongeBob leaves Patrick's bedroom and says "thank god." SpongeBob is then shown in his room watching TV, a man is shown on the TV locked out of his home, a laugh track plays and then the Seinfeld theme plays and an announcer is heard saying "we will return to Generic 90s Sitcom after these messages. You're watching Nick@Nite." A commercial for the amazon echo is then shown on the TV, simply showing someone asking what the time is. SpongeBob then scratches his chin.

Meanwhile, Rex and Mr. Krabs are watching TV, Rex is shown checking the news on his phone and screaming "oh no." Mr. Krabs asks what's wrong and Rex says that one of his friends has been arrested, Mr. Krabs asks what he did and Rex says that he was a famous drug lord. Mr. Krabs asks him what a drug lord is and he tells him that a drug lord is a person who controls a network of people involved in the drug trade and that you can make millions from it. Mr. Krabs then asks if he could be a drug lord and Rex says he could but he would need some help from someone else. Sandy then enters and tells them she got fired from her job, Rex then asks what her job was and she says she was a stripper. Rex then asks how she got fired and Sandy says she stole money. Mr. Krabs then asks if her and Rex want to start working in the drug business with him being the drug lord and Rex instantly says yes and Sandy says "I just lost my job of course I want to." Mr. Krabs then says good, he then realizes it’s late and he needs to wake up for 4:20am claiming he needs to go shopping before everyone else does, but Rex doesn't believe him.

Patrick is then shown waking up and getting out of his bedroom, he notices there's a box in his room, he asks SpongeBob what it is and he says it's an amazon echo but everyone just calls it alexa. Patrick asks him what it does and he tells him that he can ask her anything. SpongeBob then unboxes the alexa and tells Patrick to ask her what time it is. Patrick then asks her what time it is and she says it's 9:15am, Patrick then runs out claiming he is late and SpongeBob just looks around confused.

Sandy is then shown asking Rex what drugs he has for their drug dealing business, and Rex gets out a huge bag full of drugs, he then lists all the drugs in the bag and asks Sandy what she has. She says all her drugs she made herself. Mr. Krabs then enters and Sandy asks if he did all the shopping he needed and Mr. Krabs says he did, and also bought some drugs while out which is why he was so late. Rex then quietly says to himself "sure you did." Mr. Krabs then asks what drugs they have and Rex starts to list them all again before being interrupted by Sandy who mentions again all her drugs she made herself. She then gets out a needle and says it contains a drug she made herself but hasn’t tested yet and she needs someone to test it on. Squidly then falls from the ceiling and Sandy injects the drug into him, killing him. Sandy then says she is going to put that drug in a list of drugs to never use again.

Patrick is then shown entering his room, and asking Alexa what job he has and Alexa tells him he doesn’t have a job. Patrick then asks alexa to tell him "one of those joke things" Alexa responds with "Why does Waldo always wear stripes? Because he doesn’t want to be spotted." Patrick then says he doesn’t get it. Patrick then asks Alexa if she’s happy and Alexa says she’s happy helping him. Patrick then kisses the Alexa.

The scenes goes back to Sandy, Rex, and Mr. Krabs setting up the drug business, Mr. Krabs asks Rex if he can do the drug dealing and Rex says no and the scene goes to a flashback of him jumping out from a dark alley and screaming out "who wants some drugs?" Rex then realizes he jumped in front of a cop, and says "oh shit." Mr. Krabs then asks Sandy if she can do it and Sandy says points out the reason she got fired from her last job. Mr. Krabs then says he guess he has to do it. Patrick is then seen running down the stairs with a wedding dress on the Alexa, Mr. Krabs says he isn’t even going to ask.

SpongeBob is then seen entering Patrick’s room and Patrick is naked with the Alexa, Patrick then simply says "oh hey SpongeBob" Patrick then tells Alexa to say hi to SpongeBob and she does. SpongeBob asks what they have been doing and Patrick claims he had sex with Alexa after they got married so he doesn’t go to hell. He then asks SpongeBob what he thinks of it. SpongeBob takes awhile to answer before yelling out "it’s [censor bleep] disgusting." Patrick then mutes Alexa so she can’t hear, and SpongeBob tells him not to mute it, Patrick then says he’s right and he should let Alexa listen in so she can defend herself. Patrick then tells SpongeBob that he loves Alexa and there is nothing SpongeBob can do to stop them, SpongeBob then says "Alexa are you connected to the CIA?" The Alexa then turns off and Patrick kneels on the floor and screams "no" and SpongeBob tells him that Alexa can just turn back on if he says another command. Patrick, now crying, tells SpongeBob to get out SpongeBob then says it was just a joke, but Patrick yells telling him to get out, SpongeBob then says "okay" and leaves. Patrick then hugs Alexa and says "Alexa I am so sorry about him" Alexa responds with "it’s okay Patrick." Patrick then jumps back and screams.

Mr. Krabs, Sandy, and Rex are then seen building what looks like a lemonade stand Sandy asks if they are building a lemonade stand to raise money for more drugs, and Mr. Krabs tells her it isn't a lemonade stand, it's a drug stand. Rex then asks if Mr. Krabs is trying to get him back in prison again, and Mr. Krabs tells him he shouldn't have jumped in front of a cop, Rex then says he wasn't put in prison for that he was just given community service, Mr. Krabs then asks why he was put in prison and he says he was high while driving. Mr. Krabs asks him what prison was like and Rex says he doesn't want to know. Mr. Krabs then says it’s a good thing they aren’t going to prison, the stand is now complete and Mr. Krabs yells out "drugs! Drugs! Come get some drugs!" A cop then shows up and Mr. Krabs stupidly asks if he wants some drugs. Sandy then tells him it’s a cop but Mr. Krabs responds with "shut up, he could be our first customer." The cop then asks if he’s selling the drugs and Mr. Krabs says he is and the cop asks how much the drugs cost and Mr. Krabs says the price varies. The cop then asks how much for the pills that could help his attention cost and Mr. Krabs says it costs 50 cents and that Sandy made them, Sandy then crosses going to jail off her life's to-do list and asks Rex for cocaine, the cop pays Mr. Krabs the money and takes a pill. He then realizes what Mr. Krabs, Sandy, and Rex are doing, and tells them they're under arrest. Mr. Krabs asks why and the cop says he's selling drugs, Sandy is making drugs, and that Rex seems to be abusing substances every minute. Rex who is smoking a joint instantly denies what the cop says and puts out his joint and takes an unidentified pill, Sandy then grabs Rex by the shirt and tells him to give her cocaine. The cop then takes all three of them away and SpongeBot goes up to the drug stand and takes an attention pill and then realizes he has to finish his script for "Butter Days."

Patrick enters his house and tells Alexa he is home, Alexa doesn't respond, he says it again and Alexa still fails to respond. SpongeBob then comes in with Patrick's laundry and Patrick asks if he knows where Alexa is, and SpongeBob says he saw Alexa leaving his room with suitcases and Patrick starts crying assuming Alexa left him and SpongeBob gives him a hug.

Mr. Krabs, Sandy, and Rex are then shown in a prison cell, a man in the same cell asks what they're in for and Mr. Krabs says he's in for drug dealing, Sandy says she's in for making drugs, and Rex says he's in for abusing drugs. The man in the cell then asks if he has seen Rex somewhere before and Rex simply says "oh [censor bleep]." A prison guard then asks for Rex, Mr. Krabs, and Sandy to come with him, they then end up in the visitors area and another prison guard tells them that SpongeBob has paid all their fines and they are now free. SpongeBob then asks them how prison was and Mr. Krabs and Sandy both say it was fine but Rex says he really doesn't want to talk about it.

SpongeBob, Patrick, Rex, Sandy, and Mr. Krabs are then in the living room, SpongeBob asks what they've learned today and Rex, Sandy, and Mr. Krabs say altogether that "drugs are bad." Plankton then enters and says hello to everyone, Patrick then says "oh hi Plankton" and SpongeBob asks where he has been and Plankton says he's been out doing stuff. SpongeBob then says whatever. Sandy then says she got her stripper job back and that all she had to do was say she was going to sue the place for emotional distress. Patrick then asks SpongeBob how he is supposed to give Alexa half of his stuff when he doesn't know where she is. SpongeBob tells him to claim Alexa is dead, Patrick asks if she is dead and SpongeBob says he doesn't know. A flashback of SpongeBob destroying the Alexa is shown. The episode then ends.

Transcript

 * [The episode starts with SpongeBob helping Patrick in his room]
 * Patrick: [shouting] SpongeBob?
 * SpongeBob: I'm right here you don't need to shout!
 * Patrick: What time is it?
 * SpongeBob: [gets out his phone] Quarter-past 4.
 * Patrick: PM or AM?
 * SpongeBob: PM Patrick.
 * Patrick: What does that mean? [SpongeBob angrily screams and gets out his phone] You're taking too long.
 * SpongeBob: [angrily screams] I haven't even got the dictionary app open yet, give me a chance!
 * Patrick: No.
 * SpongeBob: Okay PM means post-meridiem, which means past midday.
 * Patrick: I don’t know what that means either. [SpongeBob screams in anger again, the scene goes to SpongeBob reading Patrick a bedtime story in his bedroom]
 * SpongeBob: [angrily] He could not get those bricks to budge! Breathless and weak, the wolf lay on the ground like a balloon out of air. The end! [Patrick starts snoring and SpongeBob leaves his bedroom] Thank god! [the scene goes to SpongeBob watching TV in his room a guy is shown locked out of his home]
 * Guy on TV: Uhh… I think I locked myself out of my home. [laugh track, the Seinfeld theme plays]
 * Male announcer: We will return to Generic 90s Sitcom after these messages. You're watching Nick@Nite. [a commercial for the amazon echo plays]
 * Women on TV: Alexa, what time is it?
 * Alexa: The time is 4:32. [SpongeBob scratches his chin, the scene goes to Rex and Mr. Krabs watching TV, Rex is also checking the news on his phone]
 * Rex: [screaming] Oh no.
 * Mr. Krabs: What’s wrong?
 * Rex: One of my friends has been arrested!
 * Mr. Krabs: What did he do?
 * Rex: Oh, he was a drug lord!
 * Mr. Krabs: What’s a drug lord?
 * Rex: A drug lord is a person who controls a network of people involved in the drug trade, you could make millions from it.
 * Mr. Krabs: Could I be a drug lord?
 * Rex: Sure but you would need help from someone else. [Sandy enters]
 * Mr. Krabs: Hey, you’re home early.
 * Sandy: I got fired from my job.
 * Rex: You had a job? What was it?
 * Sandy: I was a stripper.
 * Rex: Well why didn’t you ever tell us that?
 * Sandy: I did.
 * [Flashback: the cast are all watching TV when Sandy enters]
 * Sandy: Hey so I am a stripper now.
 * Everyone: Okay. [the scene goes back to Rex and Mr. Krabs watching TV]
 * Rex: That never happened.
 * Sandy: Okay fine I kept it a secret.
 * Rex: So how did you get fired anyway?
 * Sandy: Oh I stole some money. You know what I mean.
 * Rex: Yeah I know what you mean.
 * Mr. Krabs: Hey do you two want to start working in the drug business with me?
 * Rex: Yes! Yes I do!
 * Mr. Krabs: Okay. Sandy?
 * Sandy: I just lost my job of course I do!
 * Mr. Krabs: Good. [checks his watch] Ooh, it’s getting late, and I need to wake up at 4:20am so I can go shopping before everyone else.
 * Rex: Dude, if you smoke weed at 4:20am you can just tell us.
 * Mr. Krabs: But I don’t I just like going shopping earlier, no long lines.
 * Rex: Yep totally. Yep, yep, no weed, just, shopping.
 * [Patrick’s alarm goes off in his bedroom]
 * Patrick: [yawns] Good morning really creepy clock! [Patrick leaves his room and the clock is shown to have googly eyes that follow him around the room]
 * Clock: [creepy voice] Good morning, Patrick Star! [creepy laugh, Patrick is then out of his bedroom, he notices there is a box in his room]
 * Patrick: Uh… SpongeBob, what’s that box doing here? Please tell me it’s a new clock, the old one is really creepy, and I think he’s a…
 * SpongeBob: It’s not a new clock. But it can tell you the time.
 * Patrick: Close enough, so what is it?
 * SpongeBob: It’s an Amazon Echo, but everyone just calls it Alexa.
 * Patrick: What does it do?
 * SpongeBob: Pretty much anything. [unboxes the alexa] Ask her what the time is.
 * Patrick: Okay… Alexa what's the time?
 * Alexa: The time is 9:15.
 * Patrick: It's 9:15 already? Oh no, I'm late! [quickly puts on a suit and tie] See you later SpongeBob, and Alexa. [runs out]
 * SpongeBob: [confused] What?
 * [Sandy and Rex are in the living room]
 * Sandy: So what drugs do you have for our drug dealing business?
 * Rex: Hold on… [gets a huge bag of drugs] I have some, weed, cocaine, crystal meth, crack, heroin, morphine, xanax, fentanyl, computer duster, and, a bunch of other stuff. What about you?
 * Sandy: Oh all my drugs I made myself, I haven't named them yet. [Mr. Krabs enters]
 * Mr. Krabs: Hello fellow drug dealers!
 * Sandy: Hey! So did you do all the shopping you needed?
 * Mr. Krabs: Yep, all done! I also picked up some more drugs on the way, which is why I'm so late.
 * Rex: Sure you did.
 * Mr. Krabs: So what drugs do you have?
 * Rex: Oh I have some weed, cocaine, crystal me-. [Sandy covers his mouth]
 * Sandy: Oh all my drugs I made myself. [gets out a needle] Here’s one example, I still need someone to test it on. [Squidly falls from the ceiling] Ah perfect!
 * Squidly: No wait, no no no! [Sandy injects the drug into him, he starts choking and dies, Rex then takes a picture of his corpse]
 * Sandy: Thanks whoever you were, I'll put this on the list of drugs to never use again.
 * [Patrick enters his room]
 * Patrick: Alexa what job do I have? I forgot it again.
 * Alexa: You don't have a job.
 * Patrick: Oh. Alexa, tell me one of those, joke things.
 * Alexa: Why does Waldo always wear stripes? Because he doesn’t want to be spotted.
 * Patrick: I don't get it. Alexa, are you happy?
 * Alexa: I'm happy when I'm helping you. [Patrick kisses the alexa, the scene goes back to Rex, Sandy, and Mr. Krabs setting up the drug business]
 * Mr. Krabs: [reading from a clipboard] So, we need someone to do the drug dealing, Rex can you deal drugs?
 * Rex: Don't you remember what happened last time I tried to deal drugs? [Flashback: Rex jumps out from a dark alley] Who wants some drugs? [realizes he jumped in front of a police officer] Oh shit. [the scene goes back to Rex, Sandy, and Mr. Krabs setting up the drug business]
 * Mr. Krabs: Oh yeah, Sandy can you do it?
 * Sandy: I got fired for stealing at my last job.
 * Mr. Krabs: Oh, well I guess I'll have to do it. [Patrick runs down the stairs with a wedding dress on the Alexa and leaves] I'm not even going to ask.
 * [SpongeBob enters Patrick's room]
 * SpongeBob: Hey Patrick just thought I'd check on- [Patrick is naked with the Alexa, SpongeBob’s now yelling] Oh my god!
 * Patrick: Oh, hey SpongeBob. Alexa say hi to SpongeBob.
 * Alexa: Hi SpongeBob.
 * SpongeBob: What have you been doing with Alexa?
 * Patrick: Oh we had sex, after we got married, just so we don't go to hell. What do you think of our relationship SpongeBob?
 * SpongeBob: What do I think? Hmm… What do I think? I think, [yelling] it’s [censor bleep] disgusting. [Patrick mutes the Alexa] Oh don't mute the Alexa.
 * Patrick: You're right, I should let Alexa listen in to all this so she can defend herself. [unmutes the Alexa] Anyway, our relationship is great, and there's nothing you can do to split us apart.
 * SpongeBob: Alexa are you connected to the CIA? [Alexa turns off and Patrick kneels on the floor]
 * Patrick: [screaming] No!
 * SpongeBob: Dude, Alexa will just turn back on if you say another command.
 * Patrick: [crying] Get out.
 * SpongeBob: But it was just a jo-
 * Patrick: [screaming] Get out!
 * SpongeBob: Okay, fine. If you don't want me here that's fine. [leaves]
 * Patrick: [hugging the Alexa] Oh Alexa, I am so, so sorry about him!
 * Alexa: It's okay Patrick! [Patrick jumps back]
 * Patrick: [screaming] Ahh!
 * [Rex, Sandy, and Mr. Krabs are building what looks like a lemonade stand]
 * Sandy: So are we building a lemonade stand to raise money for more drugs?
 * Mr. Krabs: It's not a lemonade stand, it's a drug stand.
 * Rex: Wait so are you trying to get me back in prison?
 * Mr. Krabs: Well Rex, maybe you shouldn't have jumped in front of a cop!
 * Rex: Oh I wasn't put in prison for that I was just given community service.
 * Mr. Krabs: So what were you put in prison for then?
 * Rex: I was high while driving.
 * Mr. Krabs: So what was prison like?
 * Rex: You don't want to know.
 * Mr. Krabs: Well it's a good thing we're not going to prison then. [the stand is now complete so Mr. Krabs yells to try to get some customers] Drugs! Drugs! Come get some drugs! [a cop walks up to the stand] Hey you want some drugs?
 * Sandy: [whispering to Mr. Krabs] Psst, Mr. Krabs, it's a cop.
 * Mr. Krabs: Shut up, he could be our first customer.
 * Cop: So are you selling these drugs?
 * Mr. Krabs: Yes I am.
 * Cop: How much do they cost?
 * Mr. Krabs: The price varies.
 * Cop: Okay. So how much do these- [looks at the label of a prescription bottle] attention helping pills cost?
 * Mr. Krabs: 50 cents, our drug maker Sandy made them. [Sandy crosses something off her to-do list]
 * Rex: What are you doing?
 * Sandy: Crossing go to jail off my life's to-do list, well, better make the most of it. Give me cocaine!
 * Cop: [takes a pill] Hey, wait a minute! You're all under arrest!
 * Mr. Krabs: What, why?
 * Cop: Why? You're dealing drugs! [pointing to Sandy] She's making drugs!
 * Sandy: Don't worry, I'm prepared, give me cocaine Rex!
 * Cop: [pointing to Rex] And that one seems to be abusing drugs every minute!
 * Rex: [smoking a joint] No I don't! [puts out the joint and takes an unidentified pill] Heh heh. [his right eye twitches]
 * Sandy: [grabbing Rex by the shirt, yelling] Give me cocaine!
 * Cop: Come with me, all of you. [takes Rex, Sandy, and Mr. Krabs away, SpongeBot walks up to the drug stand]
 * SpongeBot: Oh hey, drugs! [takes an attention pill] Oh, I have a Butter Days script to finish!
 * [Patrick enters his room]
 * Patrick: Alexa, I'm home! Alexa I'm home! Alexa?
 * SpongeBob: [with his laundry] Oh, hey Patrick!
 * Patrick: [fastly] SpongeBob, where's Alexa? She's not here! What did you to her?
 * SpongeBob: Calm down, Patrick.
 * Patrick: [fastly] Calm? How the hell am I supposed to be calm? When you tortured my wife!
 * SpongeBob: Calm, down! I didn't torture Alexa okay!
 * Patrick: Yes you did! You've always hated us!
 * SpongeBob: Look, I saw Alexa leave the house with suitcases. [Patrick starts crying] I know, it's hard. [SpongeBob gives him a hug]
 * [Mr. Krabs, Sandy, Rex, and another prisoner are in a prison cell]
 * Prisoner: What are you in for?
 * Mr. Krabs: Drug dealing.
 * Sandy: Drug making.
 * Rex: Drug abuse.
 * Prisoner: [pointing to Rex] Hey, have I seen you somewhere before?
 * Rex: Oh [censor bleep]. [prison guard opens the cell]
 * Prison guard: Can I have, uhh, Sandy, uhh, Rex, and a, Mr. Craps, no sorry, Mr. Krabby? No wait, it's Mr. Krabs! [the guard takes Rex, Sandy, and Mr. Krabs to the visitor area, with another prison guard]
 * Another prison guard: Hey good news, this kid-
 * SpongeBob: I’m 31.
 * Another prison guard: [brief pause] This 31-year-old man has paid all your fines and now you’re all free. I’ll just go get your things. [leaves]
 * SpongeBob: So how was prison?
 * Sandy & Mr. Krabs: Fine.
 * Rex: I really don’t want to talk about it.
 * [SpongeBob, Patrick, Rex, Sandy, and Mr. Krabs are then in the living room]
 * SpongeBob: So what have we learned today?
 * Rex, Sandy & Mr. Krabs: Drugs are bad! [Plankton enters]
 * Plankton: Hey everyone!
 * Patrick: Oh hi Plankton!
 * SpongeBob: Where the hell have you been?
 * Plankton: You know, I've been out doing stuff.
 * SpongeBob: Eh, whatever.
 * Sandy: Well I got my stripper job back, all I had to do was say I was going to sue the place for emotional distress.
 * Patrick: [filling in divorce forms] SpongeBob?
 * SpongeBob: Yes?
 * Patrick: How am I supposed to give Alexa half of my stuff, when I don't know where she is?
 * SpongeBob: Just say she's dead.
 * Patrick: Is she dead?
 * SpongeBob: I don't know.
 * [Flashback: SpongeBob destroys the Alexa with a bat]
 * Alexa: I'm sorry I didn't get that. [SpongeBob lights the remaining parts on fire with matches] I'm sorry I didn't ge-...
 * SpongeBob: [evil laugh] Take that, Alexa. [the fire alarm goes off]
 * Mr. Krabs: [yelling] SpongeBob!
 * SpongeBob: Oh no… [episode ends]

Trivia

 * The episode was confirmed in an advertisement after "I Am Not Gay" premiered on Fox Nights, with the title being confirmed on May 5th 2018.
 * This episode aired on May 13, 2018 at 10pm on the SBN network.

Reception
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