WHY WON'T YOU LET ME DIE?

'''WHY WON'T YOU LET ME DIE? '''is the 24th episode of SpongeBob n' Stuff and the 13th episode of season two. The idea was provided by via the SpongeBob n' Stuff Ideas Page. In it, LightBob bets Kenny her golden fidget spinner that he can't last twenty-four hours without dying. Plankton, overhearing this, realises that he could sell the spinner for a great sum of money and buy The Krusty Krab, making him the owner of the best restaurant in Bikini Bottom. All he has to do is become Kenny's 'best friend', make sure he wins the bet and make him give it to him. Sounds easy, right?

Transcript
(the episode starts off at the Bikini Bottom hospital, Kenny is laying in bed)

Doctor Foster: Welp, it appears Kenny has managed to die, again. (sigh) I can't believe he's done this!

SpongeBob: Will he be OK, Dr.?

Doctor Foster: (sigh) I thought you would've understood by now!!! He dies every episode, and comes back to life again at the start of the next one!

LightBob: But, Dr., this is the start of the episode!

Patrick: I thought this was the hospital...

Doctor Foster: Hmm... I've never been in a situation like this before, except when that one person kept getting ran over by a train and when Sportacus got trapped in that cage.

Temmie: maybe if webuh do a buggle transition hell COmE bak 2 life ?

Doctor Foster: Hey, I'm the doctor here! (pause) I know! Maybe if we do a bubble transition he'll come back to life!

Temmie: but tem just said dat!

LightBob: Great idea, Doctor Foster! We'll do cut straight to use leaving.

Doctor Foster: OK then, do you know the way? (bubble transition to them leaving the hospital)

SpongeBob: Gosh, I still don't know why Kenny keeps dying!

Patrick: Well, he has been taking a break for a while...

Temmie: weeeee all hav

LightBob: I'll bet anything Kenny won't last twenty-four hours without dying!

SpongeBob: Like what?

LightBob: Well, (pause) uh... I know! I'll bet you my golden fidget spinner that you can't last twenty-four hours without dying! (8-bit black shades suddenly slide in front of Kenny's eyes)

I am the one, don't weigh a ton

Don't need a gun to get respect up on the street

Under the sun, the bastard son

Will pop the Glock to feed himself and family

By any means, your enemies, my enemies

We wet them up like a canteen

The yellow tape surrounds the fate

Don't have a face, so now you late, open the gates (the shades disappear and everyone goes into an awkward silence)

SpongeBob: (after a pause) What's he doing?

Patrick: Living. (shades suddenly slide in front of Patrick's eyes)

I am the one, don't weigh a ton

Don't need a gun to get respect up on the street

Under the sun, the bastard son

Will pop the Glock to feed himself and family

By any means, your enemies, my enemies

We wet them up like a canteen

The yellow tape surrounds the fate

Don't have a face, so now you late, open the gates (the shades disappear)

Temmie: well, dat was... weed

Kenny: (muffled) Agreed. I accept your challenge!

SpongeBob: This ought to be good! (cut to the Chum Bucket, where Plankton is watching them through a fake security camera)

Plankton: Looks like a got more than I bargained for this time! A golden fidget spinner is worth a lot of money nowadays! If I could become Kenny's friend, maybe I could make him give it to me! With that kind of money, I could BUY The Krusty Krab and The Chum Bucket will become the best restaurant in the world! (evil laugh) And, of course I could buy some ROBUX. I'm dying for a two-story estate on MeepCity! I've really outdone myself this time! I only tuned into the camera to see Kim Kardashian walk away with her new b- (Karen enters the room)

Karen: Ahem.

Plankton: B- b- b-, (sigh) fine. Her new (censored)! Don't take it personally, honey, I just can't be bothered to fit a pair on you.

Karen: And yet you could be bothered to fit a pair of eyes on her.

Plankton: Calm down, sweetie. I've got myself a golden fidget spinner to catch! (bubble transition to a nightclub of some sort, Ariana Grande is singing)

Ariana: I love da wae (you make me feel)

I love da wae (I love it)

Baby, I love da wae (you make me feel)

Ooh, I love da wae (I love it) da wae you love me (the song ends and everyone claps, Ariana leaves the stage and Jeffy enters with his saxophone and begins performing 'Wanna See My Pencil')

SpongeBob: Ah, nothing like a good ol' lunch at Club Robbie.

Patrick: Yeah, the rapper'll come on in a minute! (Plankton enters and sits next to the group)

Plankton: OK, be hip, be young and be cool. (deep breath) How guys! What's up?

Patrick: The surface.

LightBob: Not much, Plankton. We're just chilling.

Temmie: a kennys twiing not 2 dy!

LightBob: I bet him my golden fidget spinner that he couldn't go twenty-four hours without dying.

Plankton: Cool! (sighs, quietly) I hate you guys. (goes back to normal) Anyway, a golden fidget spinner would be quite valuable, eh?

LightBob: Oh! Very, it's my prize possession!

SpongeBob: My prize possession is my spatula.

Patrick: My prize possession is my baseball bat! (he takes it out of his back pocket and starts hitting Kenny, Plankton stops him)

Plankton: WHAT THE HECK WERE YOU DOING?! YOU WERE GONNA- I mean, you wouldn't wanna hurt your friend, would you?

Patrick: Umm... Yes?

Plankton: In fact, you wouldn't wanna hurt my BEST FRIEND!

Kenny: (muffled) What?

Plankton: I- uh... Remember that time I saved you from getting hit on the head with a baseball bat? That's what best friends do!

Kenny: (muffled) Oh, I remember! How long ago was that, now?

Plankton: (pause) I don't understand a word you're saying. Anyway, I brought you a necklace to where round you're- (he realises they don't have necks) body. (he puts a necklace on Kenny and one on himself, they both say 'Best Friends Forever')

Kenny: (muffled) Thanks, 'best friend'!

Plankton: No problem! (to himself) Manipulating him is easier than I thought it would be! Then again, this is a kids show... (to everyone) I think we should all go somewhere nice and safe where no one can die or get hurt or prevent me from buying The Krusty Krab.

SpongeBob: (pause) OK! (bubble transition to the park)

Temmie: tem no! weeee caaan allllll pay (holds out a Frisbee) 'small plastic disc that you throw'!

Patrick: HOORAY! I LOVE 'SMALL PLASTIC DISC THAT YOU THROW'!

Temmie: 2 u, patrick astley! (he throws it to Patrick)

Patrick: To you, LightBob! (he throws it to LightBob)

LightBob: To you, SpongeBob! (she throws it to SpongeBob)

SpongeBob: To you, Plankton! (he throws it to Plankton but it squashes him)

Plankton: (muffled) A little help here? (Kenny lifts the Frisbee off of him, his voice isn't muffled anymore) Thank you, 'best friend'. Maybe this game is a little too dangerous. Do you know the way to the ice cream truck?

Temmie: sure, its white acwoss da woad

LightBob: Why don't we all get an ice cream? (they all cheer except Plankton)

Kenny: (muffled) I'll go get it. (he begins crossing the road and is about to get ran over by a car)

Plankton: WAIT! (he runs and throws the Frisbee at the wheel of the car and it stops just in time, Kenny stops too, hearing Plankton's scream, Plankton then removes the Frisbee and jumps on top of the car) Sorry, nothing to see here!

Ugandan Knuckles: (driving the car) Get out of da wey! (Plankton jumps off the car and it drives off)

Plankton: I'll get the ice cream, 'best friend'. (bubble transition to Plankton returning with a cone)

LightBob: Why'd you only get one?

Plankton: You said 'Why don't we all get an ice cream?', as in the singular form. But, who cares? Let's just go somewhere safer. (a montage begins, each place they visit features Kenny facing near death but Plankton saves him just in time)

It was a bet (it was a bet)

It was a dare (it was dare)

It was surely not fair

A rarity (a rarity)

Was up for grabs (was up for grabs)

To see the end of Krabs

I've never had success in my life

Just my silly computer wife

This was my chance to change

If Kenny saw no pain

Alright, I'm gonna ask you a question

You ready?

Let's do this!

DO YOU KNOW THE WAY?

TO SEE A GOOD DAY?

DO YOU KNOW THE WAY?

HIP HIP HOORAY!

WITH A GOLD SPINNER

I COULD BE A WINNER

THE CHUM BUCKET

OH WELL, (censored)

OH WELL, (censored)

OH WELL, (censored)

OH WELL, (censored)

If Kenny wouldn't die,

I wouldn't still cry,

Do you know the way,

I REALLY NEED MORE PAY!

I'm gonna ask it one more time now,

Actually, maybe a few more,

DO YOU KNOW THE WAY?

TO SEE A GOOD DAY?

DO YOU KNOW THE WAY?

HIP HIP HOORAY!

WITH A GOLD SPINNER

I COULD BE A WINNER

THE CHUM BUCKET

OH WELL, (censored)

OH WELL, (censored)

OH WELL, (censored)

OH WELL, (censored)!!!!!

AND NOW THE MONTAGE IS DONE. (the montage ends and we cut to Plankton waking up on a blow-up bed in Kenny's bedroom, he wakes Kenny up)

Plankton: Rise and shine, Kenny. In exactly one hour you'll gonna win the bet! And, because you're my best friend, and best friend's always share with each other, (to himself) and 'cos you're half asleep, (to Kenny) will you promise to give the golden fidget spinner to me?

Kenny: (muffled) Hmm, maybe we could at least share it, because best friends do always share. And sharing is caring and caring is good and my mum told me to care otherwise the whole world would explode and Weird Al will stop making music forever.

Plankton: (pauses to read a 'Kenny-ish' dictionary, after he's sure he knows what Kenny said, he speaks) Well, I suppose I could take it and run! (evil laugh) OK, now roll out of bed so we can go claim my reward. (as his bed is next to an open window, he rolls out of the window, Plankton sighs) I hate my life. (bubble transition to the hospital)

Doctor Foster: Welp, it appears Kenny has managed to die, again. (sigh) I can't believe he's done this!

SpongeBob: Will he be OK, Dr.?

Doctor Foster: (sigh) I thought you would've understood by now!!! He dies every episode, and comes back to life again at the start of the next one!

LightBob: But, Dr., this is the start of the episode!

Doctor Foster: Actually, it's the end of the episode. And it's also my day off, so goodbye. (he leaves)

Patrick: I like potatoes! (end)

Trivia

 * The title is a reference to the muffin character from the asdfmovie series.
 * The episode was released exactly one week earlier to subscribers of Temmie Central's On Demand service.
 * The 'I Am the One' gag returns from The SpongeBob n' Stuff Movie.
 * This is the second time Plankton 'befriends' a main character as part of a scheme. This occurred earlier in Temmie's Regular.
 * The episode can be compared to the real-life SpongeBob SquarePants episode "My leg", which released at a later date than this.
 * Both episodes involve someone trying to prevent someone else from injuring themselves.