Cello Transporters

”Cello Transporters” is a Season 1 episode of Life in Bikini Bottom. It is rated TV-14-DLV and C.

Characters
NOTE: This list is incomplete.
 * SpongeCock SquarePants
 * Fatrick Star

Synopsis
SpongeCock and Fatrick create their own company for transporting cellos to different places, but when they break a cello, they decide to just destroy them all instead of transporting them.

Plot
The episode starts when Fatrick is sitting on the couch, bored. He then remembers that he has a box full of the things that he never unboxed while temporarily living at SpongeCock’s. “I can’t wait to see me old shit!” Fatrick exclaims, while finding a box of several things. “Look! It’s my first crap I ever took! It still has that fresh smell!” he says, while finding a cheesecake that was from 10 years ago. “I’ll eat you someday!” he proclaims. While in the attic, he looks over to see a perfectly carved cello when SpongeCock comes in. “Fatrick, what are you doing?” he asks. Fatrick replies with “There’s a cello over here…..I never even played the cello. I only used to shit on them.” SpongeCock takes a look at the cello, and realizes that there is a tag on it - and it doesn’t have SpongeCock’s or Fatrick’s name on it.

Our whole universe was in a G and PG state

Then nearly fourteen billion years ago was inappropriate, wait

Fatrick shit a stool, Shitward began to drool

They invented crap that rules

We built a great, great wall (we started cursing)

Shit, titties bursting, unraveling the coercing

''This is Life in Bikini Bottom! PG-13!''

“This cello belongs to Mr. Kraps,” he states. “But why the frick would he have a cello?” Fatrick then took the cello and shoved it up his ass, and in the back, SpongeCock is telling Fatrick how much of an idiot he is. Fatrick then launches the cello and it crashes into the Krusty Kock. “What the hell? Oh, me cello! Wait, where did that come from?” Kraps asks, before cutting back to SpongeCock. “Good job, Fatrick. We transported a cello.” “OOH! Cello transporting! We shall make a cello transporting company and take over the cello transporting industry!” Fatrick replies, which leads SpongeCock to say “Eh, there isn’t really an industry for cello transporting, but whatever.”

The next day, Fatrick is shown putting a sign on his rock about the cello transporting service. SpongeCock comes and says “Frick yeah! We’re gonna get them customers soon.” However, after 2 hours of waiting, nothing happened. “Fat, we’re gonna have to try - Fat? FAT?! WHY ARE YOU MASTURBATING?” SpongeCock says, seeing that Fatrick was masturbating the entire 2 hours. However, a guy with a cello comes by. “I need you to transport this cello the the Cock Bottom Bus Station,” the guy says. “I’ll give you $500.”,Fatrick waddles to the edge of Bikini Bottom and fires the cello into the bus station, which blows up with a guy saying “FRICKING FATASS!” “Wow! That shit was explosive! Here’s a $100 tip” says the guy, with Fatrick yelling “yes! $600!” Fatrick runs over to the toilet and puts the money in, then shits on it. SpongeCock hates this stupidity. “Fatrick, what the frick? That was $600!” he yells. “SpongeCock, me boy, I wanted to do that for my entire life. Finally got the chance, even though I could’ve done it last episode…”

A short montage shows Fatrick and SpongeCock transporting more cellos. However, they get bored very quickly. They are discussing this when Fatrick takes a cello and smashes it onto the ground. “Fatrick!” SpongeCock yells, “We would’ve gotten $1,000 if we delivered that!” Fatrick says that was kind of fun, and SpongeCock actually agrees. They then take a bunch of cellos and throw them out of the window, hitting many innocent people. The episode then cuts to a chopper flying over a warzone. Fatrick and SpongeCock are in it, with Fatrick eating ice cream cake. “Oh yes! This ice cream cake is making me a fat frick! Oh wait…” SpongeCock then takes out a cello. “Fatrick, grab the wheel. I’ll jump out with a cello.” Fatrick drives the chopper over to a fiery pit. SpongeCock throws the cello down and jumps down as well. “Fatrick! Knife!” Fatrick then throws a knife, saying “I used that for my ice cream cake, so it will have ice cream cake on it...and crap!” SpongeCock, almost impaling himself with the knife, grabs it and sticks it into the cello. He cuts it in half as it falls down. SpongeCock then puts C-4 in both sides and falls down with the C-4 Cellos. “Time for the BOOM!” he says while pressing a button on the C-4 remote. The fires and bombs then make a huge explosion, with SpongeCock flying up. “SpongeCock! Land on me gut!” Fatrick says, sticking his gut out extra far. SpongeCock bounces on it and barely gets into the chopper. He takes the wheel, dodging all of the nuclear missiles the warriors are launching at them. It cuts to the house where Fatrick tries to shove a cello down the toilet, but fails. He then shits on it, but explodes it. “There goes me shit! The HEAVY artillery!” The sewer then explodes a bit as all of the cellos fall down and get covered in Fatrick’s shit that was already in the sewer.

The episode then has a short montage of Fatrick and SpongeCock “transporting” more cellos. Guns, bombs, fire, electric charges, and nuclear waste is used. However, eventually, Shitward sees them pull off one of these stunts. He goes to the cops. “Cops, my annoying neighbors are being assholes. Destroying cellos.” he tells them on a phone. “Hmm...deliberately destroying cellos like that is illegal in Bikini Bottom. I will take care of this right away,” he says. The cop force jumps into a chopper and flies over to SpongeCock’s pineapple. “Freeze! Come out and put your hands up!” they say, with SpongeCock and Fatrick seeing a cop coming down from a ladder. “Guys, I heard you were destroying some cellos. That is against our shitty laws. I personally disagree with the law, but...I have to enforce it.” During that, SpongeCock took out a jet and Fatrick came in as well, flying away from the cops. “They’re onto us!” SpongeCock yells, with the police force behind them in their chopper. They launch a grenade, which SpongeCock swerves down to avoid. A cop goes down on a ladder, who jumps once close enough to the duo. He jumps on the blow up the chopper. However, when the cop jumps, Fatrick knocks him down with his gut and the cop falls to his death.

“Stop right there and surrender, you fricking assholes!” the chief of police says. All of the cops get rocket launchers with bullets and electric charges in them, making overpowered weapons. Three of them shoot, but SpongeCock dodges them without looking. He then jumps out and busts through them like a badass. The jet, however, falls down since no one is controlling it. Fatrick jumps into the cockpit, but destroys it because of his gut. The duo thinks they will die, as they can’t control the jet they’re in. SpongeCock takes a grappling hook and tries to grapple onto the police chopper, and succeeds. However, they are at the complete bottom of it and can’t take fire. SpongeCock tries to go to the edge and throw a grenade inside the chopper, but a policeman says “NO!” and knocks him down. “I gotcha, SpongeCock!” Fatrick yells, and bounces SpongeCock on his gut back into the helicopter. He also picks up a gun and starts shooting rapidly all over the place. The feds try to defend, but can’t. Most die, and when one tries to snatch it, SpongeCock throws a knife at his dick and kills him. “Aw, shit!” SpongeCock says at one point. “I’m out of ammo!” The chief of police is still alive, and he takes out the rocket launcher. He fires one, but SpongeCock jumps out and holds onto the outside railing. “I’m going to kill you!!!” the chief screams, as SpongeCock jumps out and tries to shoot an AK-47 as fast as possible. However, before he can fire, the chief fires a rocket at the floor beneath SpongeCock and blasts him off of the edge, with him flying out and falling to his possible death. He falls to the ground intact, but a bunch of cellos fall on him as well, injuring him. And to make things worse, Fatrick put C-4 and them and presses a button on his remote, destroying more cellos and severely hurting SpongeCock. “Yes! Blasted bastard cellos! They - oh….sorry SpongeCock…”

The episode ends at the hospital, where SpongeCock is laying in a bed. “Fatrick…..did you see me fall?” he says, but Fatrick replies with “No, my big fat ass was in the way.” “Your bill, sir,” the doctor says, handing SpongeCock a hospital bill. “Wait...I don’t have to pay money…..hey! This bill says I need to give 5 cellos!” he says, with Fatrick ending the episode with yelling “NO!!!!! I FORGOT TO EAT TODAY!” and SpongeCock having a deadpan expression.

Trivia

 * This episode comes from an experience where DanzxvFan8275 had to bring a cello to another place in 6th grade, but he accidentally broke part of it.
 * This episode was originally part of Season 2, but has recently been moved to Season 1.
 * This is the first episode to feature as the title card creator.
 * According to wordcounter.net, the plot is:
 * 1,469 words.
 * 8,297 characters.
 * 78 sentences.
 * 14 paragraphs.
 * 11th-12th grade reading level.
 * 5 minutes, 20 seconds reading time.
 * 8 minutes, 10 seconds speaking time.
 * "SpongeCock" is used more than any other word.