Jellyfish (episode)

Jellyfish is the 2nd episode of (pat)Rick Figures.

Transcript
(At a bar, Patrick chugs a bottle of beer while on top of a table. His eyes are pink, as he's drunk. SpongeBob then walks up.)

SpongeBob: ♪Happy birthday, Patrick! From a friend who's not a dick!♪ Aaand you're drunk.

Patrick: (breathes in deeply, then leans forward quickly, breaking a few bottles beside him.) SPONGEBOB!!!!

Blue: How's the, uh, birthday?

Red: (drunk) You're not even... (mumbles)... with the panda hat.

Blue: Oh, yeah? Cool...

Red: Ah ah! (drunk, he goes down the table, stands back up, and embraces Blue.) Heh-hey, Blue.

Blue: What?

Red: Blue!

Blue. What?

Red: BlueBlueBlueBlueBlueBlueBlue...

Blue: What?

Red: Listen.

Blue: What?

Red: Listen. Blue listen.

Blue: What?!

Red: Listen.

Blue: WHAT?!

Red: (deep voice)LISTEN! (drunk) I love you! I wanna...let's...(mumbles)...let's grow old together in every way!

(deep voice, background blazes.) EVERY WAY! (The background goes back to normal.)

Blue: (trying to leave Red) 'Kay...

(Disco ball drops down next to Red & Red starts to dance.)

Red: Dance party fo Red!

(Red crashes into the glass fragments from the bottles earlier. Red gets up with the fragments stuck on him. Disco ball disappears.)

Red: Yeah! HEY, LAAADIIIIIIIES! (Runs off.)

Blue: Eh, fack!

Red: (sprints up to a woman) Hey, baby, knock knock, who's there, sex, sex who, sex with me, BOOM! (black sunglasses suddenly pop out in front of his eyes & he strikes a pose.)

Woman: Aw, that's so romantic! Call me--

Red: Whatever! (Walks away.)

Blue: Oh, my God, dude, what happened?

Red: I know, right! What a piyaaaammp!

(Clip quickly rewinds to when Red spoke to the woman.)

Red: (drunk) Hey, blehblehboobleblebloohehe! Ahahahahahahahah!! ...Knock knock.

(The woman angrily breaks her beer bottle on the countertop. Red ends up having a broken bottle on his head.)

Blue: Wow, dude, you're really drunk. (Removes the broken bottle on Red's head. Blood's visible on the tips.) I gotta get you home.

Red: (drunk) YEAH, RIGHT! I'm fine! I ain't never puked from throwin' up!

Blue: You mean drinking?

Red: (breathes in) (low voice): Drinking! Drinking! Drinking! Drinking! Drinking! (Walks off.)

Blue: Red! (groans)

Woman: (groans) Men are such pigs.

Raccoon: I can go all night-a, baby. I'm-a nocturnal. (Growls seductively.)

(Time lapse. Red talks to his reflection in a mirror.)

Red: (drunk) You don't know meh!

(Time lapse. Red talks to himself. The bartender observes him.)

Red: (drunk) Is this real life? Now?

(Time lapse. Red's lying on the floor.)

Red: (drunk) My eyes are puzzle pieces!

(Time lapse. Red seems to be talking to someone.)

Red: (drunk) Let's grow old together in every way! ...Except for the gay way!

(Camera zooms out, showing that Red is talking to a toilet. He dunks his head in the bowl & flushes.)

Blue: It's time to go, dude. You're making out with that toilet pretty hard.

(Red pulls out his head from the toilet.)

Red: Your mom's making out with that post! YEAH! H-hey...you leave her outta this!

Red: Uuuuuuuuuuuuuugh... (his stomach becomes wavy)

Blue: No! Nooooooooooo!!

(Video slows down, deepening everybody's voice.)

Red: Urrruuuuugh!

Blue: Noooooooooooooo!

Red: IT'S MY TIME!

Blue: Are you kidding me?!

Red: YEeEE-(Video speed's back to normal. Red begins to vomits on Blue.)

Blue: NOOOO- oooohhhhh...... THAT'S WHAT YOU SOUND LIKE WHEN YOU PUKE?!

Red: I DON'T KNOW! (Continues to vomit on Blue. Eventually, Blue lies down.) You don't know where I've been-

(Red vomits on Blue once more.)

Blue: I hate you! (Red laughs.) I hate you sooo mu--!

Soundtrack
TBA

Time cards

 * Patrick's Imagination (In Patrick's imagination, he swoons the girl.)
 * Reality (But in reality...)
 * Montage