Super-Stardom

Transcript
(Episode opens around the table)

EB: So we decided to let Plankton announce who’s going to the finale with him.

Plankton: Alrighty. The final vote was a 2 - 0 vote.

Amaya: I’m scared.

Squidina: Me too.

Plankton: The person joining me in the finale is…

Amaya: I don’t think … is a person, Plankton.

Plankton: Amaya it’s you.

Amaya: LET’S GOOOOOO!

Steve: This of course makes Squidina the final person evicted and final jury member.

Plankton: We have a jury?

EB: Yeah, they decide who wins based off how well the person they vote played the game and treated them.

Plankton: Oh crap.

Squidina: Bye guys!

(Squidina walks out onto the stage)

EB: Aight, Plankton and Amaya, go get ready. If you walk over to the dress room Amaya, you’ll find a wide selection of maroon dresses because I couldn’t find anything in the exact color of your original duo.

Amaya: Thanks!

(Amaya runs into the dress room)

Steve: Plankton, you get to go choose one of many zomp suits from the suit room.

(Plankton goes to the suit room)

Plankton: What to choose? Wait, they’re all in my size! How considerate!

(Plankton and Amaya come out of the rooms)

Amaya: We look snazzy!

Plankton: Yeah we do.

Amaya: So what now EB?

EB: You guys walk into the stage.

(Plankton and Amaya walk out onto the stage)

EB: We now welcome back everybody who was previously evicted.

(All the formerly evicted contestants come out and sit in chairs which are in two rows of seven)

Steve: Plankton and Amaya, you will now have a chance to tell the jury why you think you should win.

Plankton: Well everybody, if you vote me I would dedicate all my money to good and NOT to stealing the Krabby Patty secret formula.

Spot: Ruff Ruff!

Squilliam: Mhm sure.

Amaya: If you choose me I’ll be happy. Also my husband won, and I was good to you guys!

Larry: That’s weak, but you were nice to me.

Bob Ross: And you were nice to me!

EB: Now it’s time for you guys to vote on a winner.

(Camera goes black as heavy metal begins to play)

Steve: Don, you’re first.

(Don casts his vote)

EB: Alpooh, you’re next.

Alpooh: I hate both people left. Can I just not vote?

EB: Just vote dammit.

(Alpooh casts his vote)

Steve: Donald Trump, you’re next.

(Donald Trump casts his vote)

EB: Boxy, you’re next.

(Boxy falls over)

EB: Polar, you’re next.

Polar: Seriously I got the exact same place as last time it isn’t even fair that Poopla got back in.

EB: Just vote.

(Polar casts her vote)

Steve: The Sixth Doctor, you’re next.

(The Sixth Doctor casts his vote)

EB: Larry, you’re next.

Larry: Noice.

EB: We don’t need an extra comment.

(Larry casts his vote)

Steve: Spot, you’re next.

(Spot casts his vote)

EB: Hoopla, you’re next.

Hoopla: HOOPLA!

(Hoopla casts his vote)

Steve: Granite, you’re next.

(Granite casts his vote)

EB: Bob Ross, you’re next.

(Squidina whispers something to Bob Ross)

Bob Ross: You did a painting challenge without me?

EB: She lies. Vote.

(Bob Ross casts his vote)

Steve: Squilliam, you’re next.

(Squilliam casts his vote)

EB: Poopla, you’re next.

(Poopla casts his vote)

Steve: Squidina, you’re last.

Squidina: Well I really hope I choose right.

EB: Hey somebody said that exact thing last season.

(Squidina casts her vote)

Steve: All votes have been cast. I will read them.

(Intense music begins playing)

Steve: First vote goes to Plankton.

Plankton: Let’s go!

Steve: Second vote goes to Amaya. Third vote, Amaya. Fourth vote, Amaya.

(Filler for reveal)

(Filler for reveal)

(Filler for reveal)

Steve: The next ten votes all go to one of you two. This person will get a billion dollars.

(Filler for reveal)

(Filler for reveal)

(Filler for reveal)

Steve: And the winner is…

Amaya: I’m still pretty sure … isn’t an actual person.

Steve: IT’S YOU AMAYA GODDAMMIT!

Amaya: Yay! Now I can buy that hotel!

Plankton: Wait so I only got one vote?

Spot: Ruff Ruff!

Plankton: Thanks Spot. You’re a good boy!

EB: Thank you viewers for another great season. I’m sure that the next season will be even bigger or better than this one!

Steve: Hey what’s that whining noise?

Larry: Yeah, I hear it too. It’s super high pitched.

EB: Oh shit. OH SHIT EVERYBODY FREAKING RUN!

Amaya: Wait why?

EB: (hands winning check to Amaya) take this before I forget. Remember that supercomputer that we beat? Well I locked it up in the supplies closet and it made that noise right before I destroyed it’s power battery.

Plankton: So the robot TURNED ITSELF ON?!

(All of a sudden a door across from the table explodes into splinters)

Don: What’s going on?!

(The supercomputer emerges with a powerful humanoid body)

Supercomputer: You thought you could lock me away. Simply forget I was there. Now you will pay EB!

Plankton: DO SOMETHING!

(Steve grabs a cup of water and splashes it on the supercomputer, causing him to explode into flames and melt)

Amaya: Okay I just want to leave.

(The FBI shows up)

EB: Shit.

Guy 1: FBI OPEN UP!

Hoopla: HOOPLA!

Guy 2: HE TOOK HOSTAGES?!

Steve: EB, what’s going on?

EB: Well um as it turns out, I um. I didn’t buy the supercomputer. I stole it. They must have some type of tracking device in it.

Steve: Then why are they just no showing up?

Plankton: Probably because he destroyed it.

Guy 1: LET US IN NOW EB!

(EB opens the door)

EB: Oh hi guys, what do you need?

Guy 1: Shut up. You’re coming with us.

Guy 3: We’re gonna give you a cell with a window, don’t worry.

EB: Wait I have rights!

Guy 2: Not here you don’t.

EB: THIS IS AMERICA!

Guy 2: No it isn’t!

The Sixth Doctor: Yeah that’s true, we’re actually in-

EB: Not now TSD.

Guy 1: Take him away.

Guy 2: What about all the money he stole?

Guy 1: It was only a billion.

(Donald Trump comes out)

Donald Trump: Actually it was I who planned this whole thing, he didn’t steal it.

Alpooh: Wait you told him to steal from you so you could compete for the money he stole?

Donald Trump: Yeah pretty much.

Amaya: You mean the money I have?

Donald Trump: Keep it. I already have a lot of money anyways and you look like a tired teen mom. How old are you?

Amaya: 14.

Donald Trump: Hmmm, you may have broken a law there. I’ll let you off the hook.

Guy 1: Do you want an escort him sir?

Donald Trump: Yes please, sit me by EB.

Guy 2: Sure thing.

(The FBI agents drive away with EB and Donald Trump)

Spot: Ruff Ruff!

Polar: What. The. Hell. What just happened?

Granite: No clue.

Polar: Can we go home?

Alpooh: I say we do it.

Amaya: Well this was fun.

Steve: I guess I’m hosting next season, but I have no idea where I’ll get the money from.

Amaya: I can give you some of the profit my hotel makes!

Steve: Sounds good. Cameraman, you can record again!

Cameraman: I’ve been recording this entire thing since it isn’t fake like last season.

Steve: You WHAT?!

Cameraman: Hey at least I recorded somebody reaching potential super-stardom.

(Episode ends with Steve yelling something at the cameraman and everyone else looking horrified)