Red Philly battle

this is a battle between two guys named red and philly

characturs

 * spongebot (the announcer)
 * red
 * philly

transcript

 * bot: [talking] awwww SHIT! Let's fuckin' get this show on the road... The battle between.... Two former rights-holding users on that shithole of a wiki, ESB.... Known for being an addictive drug and ruining people's lives... Now, two users of it are here to roast each other... I present to you.... THE MUDAFUCKIN' RED AND PHILLY BATTLE! [the touchdown bell you typically hear in WWE goes off]
 * red: philly im glad you resigned you were the shittiest fucking admin ESB ever had. your attitude towards squiddleward on her crat request was so fucking bad.
 * philly: bitch shut the fuck up. At least I didn't waste my time adding useless captions to infoboxes. the events happening in those pictures were so fucking obvious.
 * red: don't tell me to shut the fuck up. I thought you would dickride all of my requests until you went and opposed my chat mod request. All I wanted was 3 fuckin' tags on my profile just to represent how godly I was for a user who only joined a few months ago.
 * philly: u damn fool. have u heard heard of the phrase "quality over quantit-"
 * red: oh wow ya weak-ass bitch. you can't even think of one fucking rhyme within the runtime of this rap battle, you have as much emotion as a mime. i'll whoop yo ass like a wild-ass rattle snake and snack crackle pop your fucking head off like a Rice Krispie! Tell me ya got a nice little social life in real life when you maintained a wiki about a kids show most people your age have outgrown for 365 consecutive days.
 * philly: oh wow hypocrite much? look at what you do all day in your free time. BRB, gonna go eat Addie's pussy for lunch. [Returns from that pussy-eating] [Sucks the remains off his fingers and wipes off with a napkin] Mmm-mmm mmm, that's the best damn pussy I ever had. It was like Burger King, McDonald's, Wendy's, and Subway altogether: I had it my way, I loved it, I knew when it was real, and I ate it fresh. Too bad you're too damn busy locking yourself in yo Angry Birds-ass room and masturbating to Squiddleward's PFP and selfies on Tumblr with yo Red, Bomb, Chuck, Bubbles and Piggies plush dolls to get yo self some real pussay, ass n titties.
 * red: Pfft, I'd like to see how fuckin hot yo girlfriend really is. I mean what kind of Victoria's Secret role model would go for a damn fool like u? Son you sayin my dick too little to get some fresh-ass pussy cuz honestly Philly you look like a fat version of Ne-Yo, singing "I'm sooo thick from chicken, so tired of beer. Said so I'm sooo thick from chicken, I'm so fat and slow. Why can't I turn off the microwave?" You is just a wanna-be black guy who thinks listening to hip hop music and watching basketball makes you less white.
 * philly: at least i don't take daily trips to KFC or pack kool-aid packets in my lunch box.
 * red: and at least my dream girlfriend (squiddleward) is Victoria's Secret catalogue material, unlike yo bitch.
 * philly: lol, no. she ugly asf and uses glasses to hide it. she has such a baby face and is turning 18 next month but looks like she's 6. her chest be so flat, i bet puberty missed her while on its journey hitting kids. i bet you have wet dreams of booking a flight to her hometown to suck her toes. [views her Skype profile] oh look at this red my boy. squiddle has her number visible to her followers on skype. oh just look at all the possibilities that are tempting you now. you know you want that phone sex.
 * red: trying. so. hard. to. resist. but. my. raging hormones. are testing me....... [resists] You know what. If Addie is such a smoking hot bitch, prove it.
 * philly: *throws a photo at that damn fool red* See, my bitch actually has a chest.
 * red: ohhhh, yeah. i've seen her before. i've had makeout sessions with your bitch before while you weren't home. she could kiss my lips all day. i even got her thinking bout you like "fuck that wannabe black guy".
 * philly: WHAT?!?!??! Addie would never..... She has always been loyal to me.
 * bot: and the winner is.... Red! For stealing someone's bitch like a boss.
 * philly: congratulations u damn fool.

THE END