Pilot (Patrick's Hacha Mecha Hotel Life)

In this episode, SpongeBob comes back to Former Bikini Bottom to visit, until he discovers something.

Patrick's Hacha Mecha Hotel Life Episode 1

Episode
It starts with Patrick driving into town, with tumbleweeds rolling across the place. He turns to the place where the Hotel is and then crashes into the jail and the car explodes. The screen goes gray with the MLG sad violin music playing. A record scratches and says "just kidding" and Patrick continues driving toward the hotel.

Patrick Oversteers and drives into the store crashing through the wall. Knocking over and destroying the Metal Dector and the Water gun stands along with the barred up door and the monthly item corner. Hey, you're going to pay for that! Johnny says. Oh yeah? Patrick says, he punches Johhny to the wall, and then he walks on over to the hotel.

Johnny fires once, and then Patrick runs on over to the hotel. Johnny fires a shot through the door. Patrick then dodges the other shot while running out and then punches Johnny in the face, and then he takes Johnny's laser gun, and he fires the laser at Johnny, causes him to disappear.

You're going to pay for that door. The concierge said. Why do I have to pay for the door, I didnt make the hole in the door. Patrick said. Yes you did. the concierge said. No I didn't, it was that alien guy. Patrick said. Yeah, and a purple grollia hijacked my computer. said the concierge. Well I can fix that. said Patrick. Wait, wait, I wasn't.. said the concierge before being cut off. Do you want help or not? Patrick asked. Someone on an online game told me that in order to fix your computer, you go into command prompt, and type "Del C:/Windows/System32".

Wait really? said the concierge Yes. Patrick said. So then the concierge opens the command prompt and then types in "Del C:/Windows/System32" and then presses enter. Hmm, my speed doesn't seem different. the concierge said. Are you sure this will work? Yes. Patrick said. Now just restart your computer. So then the concierge clicks the start menu, clicks "shut down", and then clicks ok" and then waits for the computer to restart.

This is going to take a while. the concierge says. Want to get the frunece working downstairs for me, while we wait for this to get done? Yes. Patrick says. So then Patrick heads downstairs and then fills the furnace with fuel rods. He comes back up and then the concierge is angry. ''Really? My computer doesn't work now. It's telling me "NTLDR" is missing.'' the concierge says sounding annoyed.

Here you go. Patrick says giving the concierge a Windows ME CD. Why do I want this crap? the concierge says. Trust me, it's good. Patrick says. No, it's crap. the concierge says I'm reinstalling Windows 2000. so then Patrick opens the concierge's mouth, and the concierge struggles to keep Patrick out of his mouth. The concierge fails and Patrick makes it into the concierge's mouth and then goes into the concierge's brain.

The possessed concierge then ejects the Windows 2000 CD and then inserts the Windows ME CD. He goes through part of the setup until it gets to the graphic part welcoming the user to the setup (the first part), after he clicks next, it gives him an error. the concierge then gets an old laptop and installs it on a USB. He then does everything and then copies it all over to the other PC he wants it on.

Then it gets to the desktop and then it's on the desktop. It's done! Patrick says, he then leaves the concierge. Are you crazy? the concierge asks Patrick. No, I'm Patrick. he says. ''I don't want this crap on my PC. At least Windows 2000 is functional. This isn't.'' the concierge says. At least you got far. Patrick says. ''Yeah, you tried so hard and got so far. But in the end, it doesn't even matter.'' the concierge said.

Here, have a Kelpy G. Patrick says. Why? the concierge says. You ain't G, without a Kelpy G. Patrick says. So then the concierge drinks some Kelpy G until Kelpy came out of nowhere. Did someone call me? Kelpy said when he popped out of the ceiling. No Kelpy, no one called you. the concierge said. ''go back to the wiki. Unhello Kelpy'' so then Kelpy disappeared after the concierge said unhello.

What the hell is going on today? the concierge asks himself. Good morning Mama Hogg says as she walks in. Morning Mrs Hogg. says the concierge. Finally, someone normal he whispers to himself. Morning madam. Patrick says. So, do you know what happened to our hotel managers? she asks the concierge. ''They died and turned into zombies, someone was doing an experiment here and then some people helped with the zombie infestation over here. Although ever since Honest disappeared, we haven't had a new election for mayor. And we are dying here. The town hall where the town hall used to be, has overgrowths in the bathroom, and tons of dust in the office, and idk if the clerk is still there.'' the concierge said.

Why wasn't a new mayor elected? Patrick asks. That's a good question Patrick, my guess might be because we are working in a ghost town. the concierge says. Maybe I could be a new mayor. Patrick says. Oh no no no no no NOOOOO. the concierge says. last time you led a nation, you caused a war with the United States, and you also toke over Mexico. That was Squidward's fault. Patrick said. He infected my nation's water with PCP, so that wasn't my fault. But still, you were associated with a regime. the concierge says. But I do have a friend who can make Former Bikini Bottom great again. Patrick says.

Who is it? the concierge asks. I won't reveal it now, but for now, I'm going to end this in the best way possible. Patrick says. How? the concierge asks. A party! Patrick says. so then Patrick calls the SBFW members. So then Kelpy appears from the ceiling, Alan comes out of the managers suite, and Travis comes in through the front door. And then the words The End appear on the ending screen.