My Legs (Part 1)

Transcript
(Scene cuts to Shubie getting mail out of her mailbox) Shubie looks through the mail.

Shubie: "That's odd. This letter for Nat is from someone from out in the South Seas. Who could he possibly know from out there?" Shubie walks inside.

Shubie: "Hey Nat, you have a letter from someone out in the South Seas. Do you know anyone from all the way out there?" Shubie hands him the letter.

Nat: "I don't think so." Nat opens the letter and reads it.

Nat: "It's from Fred's dad. I forgot that he moved out there because the hospitals are a lot better there than they are here."

Shubie: "Well what does it say?"

Nat: "Dear Nat, It looks like I'm on my last legs. I would love it if you and that Shubie girl could come visit me before I go. I haven't seen you in so long and I'm sure that you're life is going great unlike my son's. You and Shubie probably have a lot of kids now and you're more than welcome to bring them. I'm sure that I'd love to see them instead of Fred's brats. Hope to see you soon, Fred's dad."

Shubie: "Wow what a sweet message. We should definitely go see Fred's dad Fred will probably really want to see him too."

Nat: "I'm not so sure about that. Fred's dad was pretty hard on him when we were growing up."

(Scene cuts to a flashback of Fred showing his dad his report card)

Fred: "Look Dad I got straight A's!"

Fred's dad: "Why didn't you get A+'s?" Fred's dad rips up his report card.

(Scene cuts to a flashback of a high school football game) Fred gets carried off the field on a stretcher.

Fred: "MY LEG!"

Announcer: "To the 30, the 20, the 10... TOUCHDOWN! Nat Peterson rushes for his fourth touchdown of the day!"

Fred's dad: "Why couldn't you be more like Nat?"

(Scene cuts to a flashback of Fred's high school prom) Fred gets out of a car with Nancy.

Fred's dad: "How did you end up with a pretty girl like her? You really should raise your standards Nancy, you don't want to end up with a loser like him! You're better off with that Mabel girl over there Fred, she's almost as ugly as you." Fred rolls his eyes.

(Scene cuts to Fred and Mabel's wedding)

Fred's dad: "You're getting married to this thing. Wow Fred, that's low even for you! A piece of kelp is more attractive than she is." Mabel runs away crying.

(Flashback ends)

Shubie: "Wow that is pretty harsh. But we should still go visit him since it is his dying wish. I'll go talk to Sadie and see when they're going to visit him." Shubie walks out of her house and across the street to Sadie who is gardening in her front lawn.

Shubie: "Hey Sadie, did you hear the news about Fred's dad?"

Sadie: "Yeah good riddance! I can't stand that guy!"

(Scene cuts to a flashback of Fred and Sadie visiting Fred's dad)

Fred: "Hey Dad, this is my new wife, Sadie."

Fred's dad: "What happened to Nancy? Don't tell me you dumped Nancy for a walking popsicle stick! I liked Nancy so much better."

(Flashback ends)

Shubie: "Wow that's so rude! Are you and Fred going to visit him?"

Sadie: "Unfortunately. We're going to take a flight to see him in two days. I think Nancy and Martha are coming too since he wrote a letter to Frank and Tom asking them to visit too."

Shubie: "That's great! I'm glad that Fred will have his friends there to support him while he deals with this. I'll go book the flight right now." Shubie walks away.

(Scene cuts to Nat walking over to Susie's baseball game) Nat walks over to the dugout.

Shubie: "Hey Nat how was work today?"

Nat: "It was great me and Sadie sold a ton of cookies to make up for when we're going to be closed to visit Fred's dad."

Shubie: "That's great honey! Speaking of Fred's dad, I just booked three tickets for the flight to the South Seas tomorrow."

Nat: "That's great Shubie! I'll see you after the game!" Nat walks over to the bleachers and sits down.

Announcer: "Today's game will be between the first place Bikini Bottom Barracudas and the fifth place Next Town Torpedoes! Now here are today's starting lineups..." Fred walks over next to the bleachers and sits next to Nat.

Fred: "Hey Nat."

Nat: "Hey Fred, where's Sadie?"

Fred: "Oh she didn't feel like coming today. She's too busy packing for the flight tomorrow."

Nat: "Oh ok." A player from Next Town hits the ball to Susie who throws it to first for the out.

Nat: "Great job Susie!" Nat starts clapping.

Nat: "I'm sorry to hear about your dad though Fred. He was a great man."

Fred: "Oh you don't have to lie Nat. I know that my dad was a horrible father."

Nat: "What? So you're not sad that he's dying at all?"

Fred: "Nah in fact I'm kinda glad that his time is up. He was never there for me growing up and he still is ashamed of me now so screw him."

Nat: "Oh come on Fred, I'm sure that you have had some good memories with him."

Fred: "No I actually can't remember any. He permanently damaged my legs when I broke them during a soccer game when I was six. He wouldn't take me to the hospital because 'only sissies get hurt playing soccer'. Then he broke my leg again when you hit that baseball and broke my window 'cause he claimed that I was blaming my problems on someone else even though you were the one holding the baseball bat!"

Nat: "There has to be some time when you've had a good experience with him. What about when you scored your first touchdown in high school?"

Fred: "You mean the time when he came up to me and said 'Nat's already scored eighteen this season'."

Nat: "Well what about when you made the game winning shot in that basketball game against Rock Bottom?"

Fred: "Oh when he said that I was only in the game because someone else had fouled out and that you had scored 28 points while I only scored 2?"

Nat: "What about an birthday parties you had? I'm sure he was nice to you then."

Fred: "Nope he wasn't. On my seventh birthday I played 'pin the tail on the seahorse' on a live seahorse. On my tenth birthday he threw my birthday cake in my face. On my twelfth birthday he made a slideshow of all the times I had screwed up and showed it to everyone that came. It was four hours long!"

Announcer: "Monroe Rechid hits a single and that'll bring Isabel home! Bikini Bottom leads 1-0!" Fred starts clapping.

Fred: "That's my boy! See if I was my father I would've said, 'why didn't you hit a home run?'. I'm so glad I won't have to deal with him anymore soon."

(Scene cuts to Shubie, Nat and Susie driving home from the game)

Shubie: "Nothing like a 12 run victory to end my day! Nice single today Susie!"

Susie: "Thanks Mom!"

Nat: "Yeah I still don't understand how Fred doesn't seem to be bothered by his dad dying at all!"

Shubie: "I don't honestly. It seems like his father was really hard on him growing up so he probably has a lot of resentment towards him."

Nat: "I guess but still he's not bothered at least a little by it? He'll probably never see his dad again!" Shubie pulls into their driveway.

Shubie: "Relax, Nat. You just don't understand it because you never had the same experience with your parents as Fred did with his. We're only going because Fred's dad wanted to see us so that's all you should be worried about. Speaking of that, we should go to bed soon because we're leaving for the airport very early tomorrow."

(Scene cuts to Shubie waking up the next morning) Shubie gets out of bed and starts making pancakes. Shubie glances at her watch and sees that it's 7:54.

Shubie: "7:54?! We were supposed to get up at 7!" Shubie runs upstairs and checks her alarm clock.

Shubie: "Oh no! I set the alarm for 7 P.M. not 7 A.M.! Wake up Nat we need to get ready now! We need to leave in 10 minutes!" Shubie pushes Nat to wake him up and runs over to Susie's room. Shubie starts pounding on Susie's door.

Shubie: "Susie wake up! We need to get ready for the flight! Nat go finish the breakfast I started making pancakes, I'll get all of our suitcases ready!" Nat runs downstairs and Shubie starts packing all of the suitcases at an extremely fast pace.

Shubie: "That's all my bikinis, all of Nat's shorts, all of Susie's skirts... What else am I missing? Billy's diapers!" Shubie runs over and grabs a huge package of diapers. Shubie closes the suitcases, carries them all downstairs and puts them in her trunk. Shubie closes the trunk and runs back into the house.

Nat: "Breakfast is ready Shubie." Shubie grabs a pancake off of the plate and shoves it in her mouth.

Shubie: "Eat quickly we need to leave as soon as possible!" Shubie puts a bottle in Billy's mouth while Nat and Susie quickly eat their food.

Shubie: "Alright everyone let's go!" Nat and Susie run out of the house and into the car while Shubie throws their plates in the sink. Shubie buckles Billy into his seat and starts the car.

Shubie: "Everyone buckle up! This may be a crazy ride we can't miss this flight!" Shubie backs out of her driveway and zooms down the road.

(Scene cuts to Shubie, Nat and Susie sprinting into the airport) Shubie looks at her watch.

Shubie: "Come on guys! The plane starts boarding in twenty minutes!" Shubie pushes a group of people out of her way.

Shubie: "Sorry I can't miss my flight!" Shubie dumps her luggage into the baggage area.

Shubie: "Put these on the 9:30 flight to the South Seas!"

Speaker: "The 9:30 flight to the South Seas begins boarding in 10 minutes."

Shubie: "Oh no! We can't miss this flight! Hurry up guys lets find our flight!" Shubie runs down towards the boarding area, and Nat and Susie run after her. Shubie gets to the boarding area and sees a ton of rooms for the different flights.

Shubie: "Oh Neptune! Which one is for the South Seas?" Shubie runs around frantically trying to find it.

Flight attendant: "Last call for boarding the 9:30 to the South Seas!"

Shubie: "There it is!" Shubie, Nat and Susie run over to the flight attendant. Shubie hands her their tickets and their passports.

Flight attendant: "Ok you guys are good to go. Wait are you holding a baby ma'am?"

Shubie: "Yes, why?"

Flight attendant: "I'm sorry but you're going to have to sit in the baby section at the back of the plane. At Underwater Airlines we pride ourselves in customer satisfaction and a lot of people get annoyed when babies make a lot of noise during the flight." Shubie, Nat and Susie walk into the plane.

Shubie: "Here's our seats, I'm sorry I have to sit in the back away from you two."

Nat: "It's okay Shubie, we'll be fine. We'll see you in a few hours." Shubie walks to the very back of the plane. Sadie walks up behind her.

Sadie: "Hey Shubie. You have to sit in the baby section too?"

Shubie: "Yeah, I guess this treatment just comes with the joy of being a mother."

Sadie: "Tell me about it. I hope Nat isn't too upset that I won't get to sit next to him now. He must be so lost without me loving him."

Shubie: "Uh, don't you mean Fred?" Sadie laughs nervously.

Sadie: "Did I say Nat? I meant Fred! I guess this altitude is really getting to me now!"

Shubie: "We haven't taken off yet."

Sadie: "Oh, really? This whole time I thought that we had! I guess I'm just really exited for the flight!" Shubie and Sadie sit down in their seats.

Captain: "Hello ladies and gentlefish this is you captain speaking. We will be taking off for the South Seas right now so please sit down and fasten your seatbelts. This will be a pretty long flight so feel free to watch a movie on the screens on the seat in front of you. The remote for those TVs is located on the armrest to your left. Thank you for flying with Underwater Airlines and we hope that you enjoy your flight today." Shubie tries to turn on her TV but sees that the woman sitting next to her has her arm on that armrest.

Shubie: "Uh excuse me, but you have your arm on my remote."

Woman: "What?! Are you calling me fat because this seat is really small and I have to put my arm on the armrest?"

Shubie: "What? No I was just asking if you could move it so I can use the remote. Would you mind just moving it for a few seconds so I could turn on my TV?" The woman doesn't reply.

Shubie: "Hello? Did you hear what I said?" The woman starts snoring.

Shubie: "Great. Well I might as well take a nap now too." The woman's baby starts poking Shubie's eye.

(Scene cuts to the pilots flying the plane during the flight)

Co-pilot: "So did you get your wife anything for her birthday?"

Pilot: "Her birthday was two weeks ago. Did you remember to fill up the fuel tank before we took off?"

Co-pilot: "Yep I filled it with 1,000 grams of fuel."

Pilot: "1,000 grams?! It's supposed to be 1,000 kilograms of fuel you nitwit!" The pilot runs out of the cockpit and grabs a parachute.

Co-pilot: "Where are you going? Aren't you gonna try to save everyone?"

Pilot: "I have a wife and five kids at home. You're on your own pal." The pilot jumps out of the plane, and a flight attendant walks into the cockpit.

Flight attendant: "Where's the pilot?"

Co-pilot: "We're running out of fuel! Can you warn all the passengers that we're about to crash?"

Flight attendant: "Nope I just got engaged and I'm not missing my wedding to warn a bunch of helpless idiots." The flight attendant grabs a parachute and jumps out of the plane. A warning sign appears on the dashboard saying that the fuel tank is almost empty. The plane starts to fall towards the ground.

(Scene cuts to Shubie in the baby section) The plane shaking up and down.

Shubie: "Wow we must be hitting a lot of turbulence right now." The woman next to her wakes up, and opens the window next to her. The woman looks at her watch.

Woman: "We're not supposed to be landing for another two hours! Oh dear Neptune we're crashing!" The woman grabs her baby and runs out of the the aisle. The woman grabs a parachute and jumps out of the plane. Shubie and Sadie look at each other.

Sadie and Shubie: "Crashing?! I have to warn Nat!" Sadie and Shubie grab their babies and run into the passenger section. Sadie starts shaking Nat.

Sadie: "Nat! Nat! The plane's crashing, we have to get out of here!"

Nancy: "Oh please, get a grip Sadie! There's no way we're crashing we're just going through a bit of turbulence right now."

Co-pilot: "This is your co-pilot speaking. We're running out of fuel and our pilot has just abandoned ship. We are now starting to crash land so if you would all remain calm and... oh fish paste it's empty! I have to get out of here!" The power turns off and everyone starts screaming. Everyone runs towards the parachutes and begins fighting over them.

Frank: "Nancy! Nancy! I got one for you!" Tom tackles him and tries to take it from him. The parachute falls on the floor and Martha grabs it.

Martha: "I got one! I got one!" Sadie grabs it out of her hands and gives it to Nat.

Sadie: "We have to get out of here Nat!" Sadie grabs Nat's hand and brings him over to the exit.

Nat: "But what about Shubie?"

Sadie: "It's too late for her, Nat! Just go!" Sadie pushes Nat off the plane and jumps off. Everyone continues fighting over the parachutes.

Shubie: "Everyone stop! We're never gonna survive if you all keep fighting over the parachutes! Look there's enough for every single one of us so just be calm and we'll be able to escape before it crashes. Shubie hands everyone a parachute and they all jump off.

Shubie: "Alright well that's everyone. Wait where's Susie?"

Susie (from inside the ladies' room): "Mommy? What's going on?"

Shubie: "Get out of the bathroom Susie! We need to get out of here before the plane crashes!" Susie walks out of the bathroom.

Susie: "The plane's about to crash?" Shubie puts a parachute on her.

Shubie: "There's no time to explain Susie. Just jump off with Mommy." Shubie grabs Susie's hand and they run towards the exit and jump. Fred gets out of the men's room.

Fred: "Hey, where is everyone? I guess we must've landed already. Wow, I didn't know I was in the bathroom for that long." The plane crashes.

Fred: "MY LEGS!"

To Be Continued in Part 2