Fatrick's Diet!

"Fatrick's Diet" is a Season 1 episode of Life in Bikini Bottom. It is rated TV-14-DLS and C.

Characters

 * Fatrick Star
 * SpongeCock SquarePants
 * Dr. Nick
 * Dr. Shrekton
 * Eugene F. Kraps
 * Hot Chick
 * Assy Cheeks (Mentioned)

Synopsis
Fatrick is getting too fat and has to go on a diet or he will die!

Plot
Fatrick is in the bathroom taking a massive crap and calls it a masterpiece. He yells at SpongeCock to ask him where his Ice Cream cake is, and he tells Fatrick that it's in the kitchen. He parades over there and takes it back to the bathroom. SpongeCock asks him why he's taking it and Fatrick explains that the second he eats it, he has to take a crap. SpongeCock also says that ice cream cake is not good for him, but Fatrick says that it has dairy in it. He takes it back to the bathroom and eats all of it. However, he has chest pains and passes out onto the floor. SpongeCock went to the store to get himself some toilet paper and realized that Fatrick was on the ground.

Our whole universe was in a G and PG state

Then nearly fourteen billion years ago was inappropriate, wait

Fatrick shit a stool, Shitward began to drool

They invented crap that rules

We built a great, great wall (we started cursing)

Shit, titties bursting, unraveling the coercing

''This is Life in Bikini Bottom! PG-13!''

He called up a doctor who says that he doesn't really know a lot about medical Procedures and introduced himself as Dr. Nick. They struggle to pick up Fatrick because he weighs literally 500 pounds. Nick shoves ice cream down Fatrick's throat, thinking that it would revive Fatrick, But it only makes the situation worse. Nick then calls a professional doctor who checks Fatrick's pulse, indicating that he is still alive. Fatrick gets revived thanks to CPR and says that he was just crapping and eating ice cream when all of the sudden he just passed out. The professional doctor calls himself Dr. Shrekton and states that it turns out Fatrick had a heart-attack. Dr. Shrekton gets a needle and Fatrick says that he has a hankering for some ice cream cake and tries to move away. SpongeCock pins him down and when he asks Fatrick if he wants to die, he responds with a yes and that he needs to take a crap really badly, typical Fatrick. Blood is extracted and it seems to be heavy cream and icing. They find out that Fatrick has cream and icing coursing through his veins, taking over the blood stream. When Shrekton asks about what he eats on a daily basis, Fatrick says that he eats ice-cream cake about 6 or 7 times a day. Fatrick then tries to teleport to the toilet, but SpongeCock pins him down to the couch with a plastic store knife and tells Fatrick that he can't eat ice cream cake until they figure this issue out.

The results are back and they are extremely positive - Fatrick has diabetes. He seems to have type 2 diabetes, as stated by Dr. Shrekton. Fatrick then goes on to say that he doesn't care in the slightest, all he cares about is finishing that ice cream cake and rubbing it all over his ass. He even says that all of this talking is making him have more of a hankering for an ice cream cake, but Shrekton tells him that he could lower or remove his diabetes by stop eating all of the ice cream cake, and Fatrick says that won't happen. SpongeCock also panics because Fatrick could die any minute just by eating more ice cream cake. Shrekton also advises that Fatrick should still eat some cake, since his body probably relies on it, but at least slow it down. He also suggests exercise, but Fatrick says that he gets his exercise by lifting his fork full of ice cream cake into his mouth and rubbing it all over his ass. Shrekton then leaves and SpongeCock tells Fatrick to go make himself a salad. He leaves, while SpongeCock notices that Patrick overflowed the toilet with smelly shit. When SpongeCock walks into the kitchen, he sees that Fatrick just sprinkled a little basil on the ice cream cake and calls it a salad. However, SpongeCock grabs a flamethrower and melts the ice cream cake causing it to be a small puddle. He then warns Fatrick again that he can't be eating that food as stated by Dr. Shrekton and he goes to get Mr. Kraps to make Fatrick a salad instead. Fatrick then goes over to his laptop to watch some porn and says he wants to frick some hot chicks....and eat cake, of course.

Meanwhile, SpongeCock drives to The Krusty Kock and tries to get Kraps to make a salad. However, Mr. Kraps says that they don't sell food anymore and that they sell drugs now. Also, he has Assy Cheeks with him so he just gives SpongeCock a bag of lettuce and tells him to give Fatrick that. SpongeCock comes home and Fatrick seems to have gained even more weight. He sees an empty container of ice cream cake and Fatrick admits that he ate it "slowly." Fatrick also said that he smoked some weed and that he shoved it up his ass. SpongeCock then makes a bowl of lettuce and makes Fatrick eat it by shoving it down his throat causing Fatrick to rage. Fatrick complains that he is eating too much, so he refuses to eat the last bite. SpongeCock instead takes him to the gym and makes him go on the treadmill. He runs very slow, but he makes progress. A montage shows of him working out until getting more tired every second.

It then cuts to the house where it shows Fatrick on a weighing scale at 450 pounds instead of 500. SpongeCock is kind of proud of him, but not really because Fatrick is still obese. Fatrick then prepares dinner, which Fatrick states is salad. However, when SpongeCock tries a bit (Without looking at it), he realizes something is wrong - it tastes like ice cream cake! All Fatrick did was at he put basil on ice cream cake like he did earlier. Fatrick takes all of it and quickly devours it faster than Mr. Kraps having a lap dance from Assy Cheeks. Fatrick then gains all of his weight back and ends up fatter than he was before. The episode then ends when Fatrick runs to SpongeCock's bathroom, obviously needing to take a huge crap.

Trivia

 * If the original title card stayed, this would've been the first episode to feature as the title card creator.
 * The first official episode to feature DanzxvFan8275 as the title card creator would be "Cello Transporters."


 * According to wordcounter.net, the plot is:
 * 1,048 words.
 * 5,678 characters.
 * 61 sentences.
 * 12 paragraphs.
 * 9th-10th grade reading level.
 * 3 minutes, 49 seconds reading time.
 * 5 minutes, 49 seconds speaking time.
 * "Fatrick" is used more than any other word.