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Characters[]

Nat Peterson
Shubie
Susie
Baby Billy
Sadie Rechid
Fred
Debbie Rechid
Monroe
Tommy Rechid
Baby Rechid
Sally
Sally's Baby

Transcript[]

(Scene cuts to Sadie cooking in her kitchen) Sadie's oven rings.

Sadie: "The sea-turkey must be done!" Sadie opens the oven and pulls out the turkey. Sadie puts the turkey on a plate and carries it over to the dining room. Sadie puts the turkey on the table.

Sadie: "Nat, the turkey's ready!" Nat walks into the dining room.

Nat: "That turkey looks delicious, Sadie! And it smells great too!"

Sadie: "Thanks Nat! I spent all day preparing it." Nat and Sadie sit down.

Nat: "I'm so glad that I finally get to spend my first Thanksgiving with my new fiancée! To many more!" Sadie and Nat clink their glasses.

Sadie: "Nat, that was so romantic. I can't wait for the day of our wedding. It's going to be the happiest day of my life."

Nat: "Mine too!" Sadie reaches into the turkey and pulls out the wishbone.

Sadie: "Before we dig in, let's make a wish on the wishbone!"

Nat: "Okay!" Sadie and Nat pull on the wishbone. The wishbone snaps with Nat holding the bigger piece.

Sadie: "What did you wish for, Nat?"

Nat: "To start a family with you."

Sadie: "Oh Nat, that's exactly what I was wishing for! Come here you!" Sadie leans over the table to kiss Nat but falls down.

(Scene cuts to Sadie falling out of her bed) Sadie gets up.

Sadie: "What? It was all a dream? Barnacles! I knew it was too good to be true. Oh well, I'd better get ready."

(Scene cuts to Sadie getting her mail out of her mailbox later that morning) Sadie looks through the mail.

Sadie: "Chum Bucket coupons?! I always get the most useless stuff in the mail." Sally walks towards Sadie pushing her baby in a baby carriage. Sally waves at Sadie.

Sally: "Hi Sadie!" Sadie looks at Sally's baby in the baby carriage.

Sadie: "Hi Sally! My, she's getting bigger every time I see her!"

Sally: "He. It's a boy, Sadie." Sadie laughs nervously.

Sadie: "Oh right, my mistake. So… what have you been up to, Sally?"

Sally: "You know, same old same old. I've been working on some new experiments, and I've been playing tennis at the country club in my free time." Sadie notices Nat, Shubie, Susie and Baby Billy getting in their boat and driving away.

Sadie: "That sounds like fun, Sally! Hey, I wonder where the Petersons are off to. Maybe they're going to family therapy. One can only wonder how they're still together." Sally laughs.

Sally: "No silly! Nat and Shubie have a great marriage. They're probably on their way to the Turkey Trot."

Sadie: "The Turkey what?"

Sally: "It's the annual 5k that Bikini Bottom hosts every Thanksgiving. Shubie's won the women's race for the last four years in a row. Yep, they probably won't be back for a few hours."

Sadie: "Really? A few hours? How interesting… That gives me an idea! Well it was nice catching up with you, Sally! I'm sure you have a lot to do this Thanksgiving so I wouldn't want to waste your time!"

Sally: "Bye Sadie!" Sally walks away.

Sadie: "Now it's time for me to ruin Shubie's Thanksgiving! First I'll sneak into Shubie and Nat's house and steal their turkey while they're at this dumb 5k thing. Then when they get back, they'll realize they don't have a turkey for Thanksgiving! Nat will get mad at Shubie for not getting one and that's where I'll come in as the friendly neighbor to invite them all to celebrate Thanksgiving at my house! Once Nat sees how well I can prepare a Thanksgiving meal while Shubie was such an idiot she didn't even buy a turkey, he'll realize that I'm a better wife than her and he'll fall in love with me! It's full proof!" Sadie sneaks over to Nat's house.

Sadie: "Now how do I break in? Oh right! After years of watching Nat every morning, I have their garage door passcode memorized. 4145!" Sadie presses 4145 on the keypad and the garage door opens. Sadie enters Nat's house and walks into the kitchen. Sadie opens the freezer and grabs the sea-turkey.

Sadie: "Step one complete! Now I just need to wait for them to come back." Sadie laughs evilly.

(Scene cuts to Nat, Shubie, Susie and Baby Billy returning home from the Turkey Trot) Shubie is shown wearing a 1st place medal.

Nat: "Congratulations on winning the Turkey Trot for the fifth year year in a row, Shubie!"

Shubie: "Thanks Nat! To tell you the truth, I wasn't even expecting to win this year. I only entered to help lose some of the baby weight from having Billy!" Nat pulls into the driveway. Nat, Shubie, Susie and Billy get out of the boat and enter their house. Shubie walks into the kitchen.

Shubie: "I'd better start cooking the sea-turkey." Shubie opens the freezer but doesn't see the turkey. Shubie frantically searches the refrigerator for it.

Shubie: "Oh no!" Nat walks into the kitchen.

Nat: "What's wrong, Shubie?"

Shubie: "I can't find the sea-turkey!"

Nat: "I thought you bought one last weekend."

Shubie: "I did! Susie, this isn't funny! Where did you hide Mommy's sea-turkey?" Susie walks into the kitchen.

Susie: "I didn't hide it, Mom."

Shubie: "Oh no, this is not good! I swear I bought one last weekend! I'm going to have to run to Barg-N-Mart and get one. I hope they still have some." Shubie runs out of the house and gets in her boat. Shubie drives away.

(Scene cuts to Shubie returning home) Shubie parks her boat in the driveway and gets out.

Nat: "Did you get one?"

Shubie: "The Barg-N-Mart's all out of sea-turkeys! I don't know what to do, Nat! I ruined Thanksgiving!"

(Scene cuts to Sadie watching Nat and Shubie from her living room window)

Sadie: "Excellent! My plan worked! I figured the Barg-N-Mart would be out of turkeys. Now it's showtime!" Sadie runs out the front door. Sadie walks towards Nat and Shubie who are still outside.

Nat: "It's okay, Shubie. I'm sure we can figure something else out."

Sadie: "Hi Nat! Hi Shubie! Happy Thanksgiving! What seems to be the problem?"

Shubie: "Oh, hi Sadie. Happy Thanksgiving. We don't have a turkey." Sadie acts surprised.

Sadie: "No turkey on Thanksgiving?! That's terrible! I can't believe you forgot to get one, Shubie! As an excellent and always prepared wife, I purchased my family's Thanksgiving turkey months ago from the finest turkey market in the sea! Tell you what, I can't let my neighbors spend Thanksgiving without a turkey so why doesn't your family come over to my house for dinner?"

Nat: "Wow, Sadie! That's so generous of you!"

Shubie: "Yeah thank you so much, Sadie! You truly are a great friend."

Sadie: "Oh, it's the least I could do. Well I'd better start preparing my dinner. See you later this afternoon!" Sadie waves goodbye and walks away.

Sadie: "And now Nat will be mine!" Sadie laughs evilly.

(Scene cuts to Nat, Shubie, Susie and Baby Billy in front of Sadie's house later that day) Nat knocks on the door and Sadie opens it.

Sadie: "Nat! It's so good to see you! Come in! Dinner's just about ready." Nat, Shubie, Susie and Baby Billy enter Sadie's house.

Nat: "Whatever you made smells delicious, Sadie!"

Sadie: "Why thank you, Nat! You're probably smelling the sea-turkey. Why don't we head over to the dining room?" Nat, Shubie, Susie and Baby Billy follow Sadie into the dining room.

Nat: "Where would you like us to sit, Sadie?"

Sadie: "Why don't you come sit next to me, Nat? You are our honored guest after all. Debbie slide down. Make room for Mr. Peterson." Debbie slides down to make room for Nat and Shubie. Nat and Shubie sit down at the table.

Shubie: "Would you like us to help you set the table, Sadie? We'd love to help you out since you graciously invited us for dinner."

Sadie: "Oh that won't be necessary. As an outstanding wife, I have everything under control. I don't need any help setting the table." Sadie finishes putting food on the table.

Shubie: "Wow Sadie, this food looks amazing."

Sadie: "Yeah it's certainly much better than anything you could prepare. Oh! Before we begin, let's make a wish on the wishbone!" Sadie pulls the wishbone out of the sea-turkey. Shubie and Sadie pull on the wishbone. The wishbone snaps with Sadie holding the larger piece.

Sadie: "Yes! Finally Nat will be mine!" Everyone looks at Sadie strangely.

Sadie: "I mean, why don't we all go around the table and say what we're thankful for? I'll go first! I'm thankful to spend this Thanksgiving with my wonderful coworker, Nat. Everyday I consider myself lucky to work with such a charming young man. Seeing his smiling face in the morning puts me in a good mood for the rest of the day. Sadie's Cookies would be nothing without his help and I hope that we only grow closer over time."

Nat: "Thanks Sadie! That was so nice of you to say!"

Sadie: "You're very welcome, Nat. So is there a particular woman that you're thankful for?"

Nat: "Yes, there is actually. I'm thankful for a woman who's always there for me when I need her. I wasn't expecting this but over this year we've developed a bond that I've never felt with anyone else before. I'm so glad that we grew closer together this year and I can't wait to see what the future holds."

Sadie: "Oh Nat, that was the most romantic thing that anyone has ever said about me."

Nat: "And that person is Shubie!"

Sadie: "What?!" Shubie grabs Nat's hand.

Shubie: "Oh Nat, you always know how to make my heart melt. Words can't even describe how thankful I am to have you in my life. Earlier this year, when I told you I was pregnant with Billy, I was worried that you wouldn't take it well but you stayed by my side and supported me through every step of the way. I am overjoyed that we rekindled our love this year. I consider myself the luckiest woman in the world to wake up every morning next to your smiling face. You always know how to cheer me up when I'm feeling down. Our family has never been closer and it's all thanks to you, Nat. You're the love of my life."

Nat: "Shubie, you're the love of my life too." Sadie gets angry.

Fred: "Well I'm thankful that I haven't had to go to the hospital for a leg related injury in over two weeks!"

Sadie: "Yeah that's great, Fred. Why don't we start eating? The food's probably getting cold." Everyone starts eating.

(Scene cuts to later that dinner)

Sadie: "So Nat, how did you like the food?" Nat takes a bite out of the turkey.

Nat: "This is great, Sadie!"

Sadie: "Oh Nat, I'm so glad to hear. You know, lots of women take their husbands for granted. They'll eat junk all day, let themselves go and even forget to buy the Thanksgiving turkey! But not me! I always give it my all for the man I love."

Nat: "That's why Fred's lucky to have you!"

Sadie: "Well, I don't have to be Fred's forever. I mean… We don't have many drinks left! I'll go get some." Sadie gets up and walks into the kitchen. Sadie notices a soda can on the kitchen table. Sadie smirks.

Sadie: "When Shubie passes someone this soda, it'll spray all over them and everyone will think she's an idiot." Sadie laughs evilly. Sadie shakes the soda can really hard. Sadie walks back into the dining room and puts the soda on the table. Sadie sits down and continues eating. Sadie notices that Fred has finished his soda.

Sadie: "Shubie, would you mind passing Fred another soda? He just finished his drink."

Shubie: "Oh, sure." Shubie passes Fred the soda. Fred opens it and soda sprays all over him.

Sadie: "Oh no, Fred! You have soda all over you! Shubie! What were you thinking? You can't shake the can when you hand it to someone. Here Fred, let me get you some napkins." Sadie hands Fred some napkins.

Shubie: "Oh my goodness, Fred! I'm so sorry! I didn't even realize that I was shaking the can! I'll go get you another drink. Do you have anymore in the kitchen, Sadie?"

Sadie: "That was the last soda, but there is a pitcher of juice left."

Shubie: "I'll go get it." Shubie walks into the kitchen and grabs the pitcher. Shubie walks back over to the dining room table. Sadie smirks. Sadie sticks out her leg and trips Shubie. Shubie falls down and drops the pitcher which spills all over Nat.

Sadie: "Shubie! Look what you did now! You stained Nat's favorite pair of shorts! Unbelievable!"

Shubie: "Oh my gosh, Nat! I'm so sorry. I don't even know how that happened. I'm such an idiot." Nat wipes some juice off of his face.

Nat: "Are you okay, Shubie?"

Shubie: "Yes, Nat. I didn't get hurt."

Nat: "Well that's a relief. Your health is much more important to me than these shorts. I can always buy a new pair. You're not an idiot, Shubie. Accidents happen sometimes." Nat grabs a napkin and wipes the juice off off him.

Sadie: "I'll go get some paper towels to clean up the spill." Sadie walks into the kitchen.

Sadie: "Why isn't this working? I've sabotaged Shubie all day and Nat still hasn't realized that his wife is a clumsy ogre! Maybe I'm thinking about this the wrong way. Maybe instead of trying to show Nat that Shubie isn't good enough for him, I should try to convince Shubie that she isn't good enough for Nat! That's it! It's brilliant!" Sadie laughs maniacally.

(Scene cuts to the end of dinner)

Nat: "Wow Sadie, that was a great meal!"

Sadie: "Thanks Nat! I hope you all saved some room for dessert though! Shubie, would you like to help me with the dessert?"

Shubie: "Sure."

Nat: "Are you sure you don't want me to help you with the dessert, Sadie?"

Sadie: "That's so nice of you to offer, Nat! I figured I'd give you a break though since we make desserts together every day. Plus, it'll be fun working with Shubie." Sadie and Shubie walk into the kitchen.

Shubie: "So what are you planning on making, Sadie?"

Sadie: "I was thinking of baking a chocolate cake."

Shubie: "Chocolate cake? That's Nat's favorite."

Sadie: "I know it is. Let me ask you something, Shubie. Have you ever baked Nat a chocolate cake?"

Shubie: "Well, no…"

Sadie: "That's what I thought. It seems like you take Nat for granted, Shubie."

Shubie: "What? I don't think I take Nat for granted."

Sadie: "You most certainly do. If I were married to Nat, I would bake him a chocolate cake every night to show my love for him."

Shubie: "Do you bake Fred his favorite cake every night?"

Sadie: "No! Why would I do that?"

Shubie: "I don't think baking a cake is the only important thing in a marriage."

Sadie: "Of course it's not. However, it's the little things that count and the fact that you don't provide those for Nat makes people think you're a bad wife."

Shubie: "Who thinks I'm a bad wife?"

Sadie: "Um… most of the women in this neighborhood."

Shubie: "That's absurd! They don't know what they're talking about. I provide a lot of things for my husband."

Sadie: "Like what? What do you provide for Nat that other women can't?"

Shubie: "Well, I…"

Sadie: "I don't want to seem rude but to me it looks like you've done nothing but ruin your family's Thanksgiving. If it wasn't for my generosity, you and your family would be having Thanksgiving dinner at the Chum Bucket because you forgot to buy a turkey. On top of that, you continued to screw up today by spilling soda on Fred and then staining Nat's favorite pair of shorts. Face it, Shubie. There's nothing you provide for Nat that any other women in this town can't. Look around the neighborhood. Pretty much every woman on the block cooks, cleans, works a low paying job and takes care of their kids. There's nothing special about you other than that you were good at softball and won Prom Queen 18 years ago. Those things mean nothing now. You're just lucky to have a man like Nat who blindly supports you and cleans up all of your mistakes."

Shubie: "You're right. I really am nothing but a dumb klutz. I nearly ruined this Thanksgiving for Neptune's sake. Nat deserves someone better."

Sadie: "I'm sorry, Shubie. Sometimes it hurts finding out the truth. Now let's bake this cake!"

(Scene cuts to everyone after dessert) Fred falls asleep at the table.

Sadie: "Looks like someone's in a food coma. Debbie, help your father to his room." Debbie sighs.

Debbie: "Fine. I should've just had Thanksgiving with my boyfriend's family." Debbie grabs Fred and carries him out of the room.

Monroe: "Hey Susie, you wanna play our new video game?"

Susie: "Sure!" The kids run out of the room. Sadie gets up and starts grabbing plates off of the table.

Sadie: "So how did you like the cake, Nat?"

Nat: "It was great! Chocolate cake is my favorite!"

Sadie: "I'm glad to hear that! Let me get your plate for you. An excellent wife always cleans up after her guests. Isn't that right, Shubie?" Shubie nods her head. Nat turns towards Shubie.

Nat: "Thanks for convincing Sadie to make chocolate cake tonight, Shubie."

Shubie: "The chocolate cake was Sadie's idea actually."

Nat: "Oh. Well I'm sure you put a lot of effort into making it."

Shubie: "Actually, Sadie did most of the baking."

Nat: "Oh okay. Are you feeling okay, Shubie? You don't look so good and you haven't touched your cake." Shubie bursts out crying.

Shubie: "No! I'm not okay! I ruined this Thanksgiving! I forgot to buy a turkey, I spilled soda on Fred and I ruined your favorite pair of shorts. I'm nothing but a screwup! I don't deserve to be with you, Nat! You deserve someone better! Someone like Sadie! Don't you see? She's better than me in every way! She cooks, cleans, runs her own business, takes care of more kids than I do and didn't forget to buy a Thanksgiving turkey! She's always on top of things while I'm always screwing things up and needing you to help clean up my mess. You should be with someone like her instead."

Nat: "Shubie, don't cry. Yeah, Sadie's a great person and there are probably other great women out there but you're the one I love. You're not a screwup, Shubie. No one's perfect. Everyone has flaws and makes mistakes. You gave me credit earlier for supporting you while you were pregnant with Billy, but the truth is that was all because of you. When you told me you were pregnant, I didn't take the news well at first but you convinced me to be there for our baby. And you were the one who convinced me to give this marriage a second chance and I am so thankful that you did. You're the glue that keeps this family together, Shubie. Without you our family would be broken into pieces." Shubie stops crying.

Shubie: "Oh Nat, that's the nicest, sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me." Shubie and Nat kiss.

Sadie: "So Nat, I was wondering… What the barnacles?! They're kissing?! You have got to be kidding me! I did all that work exposing Shubie for the terrible wife she is and Nat still ran back to her! Oh well, at least I can wallow in my defeat while finishing this chocolate cake." Sadie walks back into the kitchen.

(Scene ends)

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