Characters[]
Nat Peterson
Shubie
Susie
Harold
Fred
Nancy Suzy Fish
Tom
Sally
Debbie Rechid
Lenny
Mabel
Martha Smith
Sadie Rechid (pictured)
Pilar (pictured)
Tina-Fran (pictured)
Patty Rechid (pictured)
Waitress
Chef
Monica
Brad
Past Shubie
Transcript[]
(Scene cuts to Shubie waking up one morning) Shubie yawns and sits up in her bed.
Shubie: "Good morning, Nat." Shubie looks over and sees that Nat has already gotten up. Shubie gets out of her bed and stretches. Shubie's back gives out.
Shubie: "Ow, my back." Shubie walks into the bathroom and brushes her teeth.
(Scene cuts to Shubie eating some Kelpo in the kitchen by herself) Shubie finishes her breakfast and puts her bowl away. Shubie walks into the living room where Susie is watching TV.
Shubie: "Good morning, Susie! Where's your father? Is he at work?"
Susie: "No, he's doing something with Harold in the garage."
Shubie: "Oh. Hey, it's a beautiful day outside! Wanna shoot some hoops in the driveway?"
Susie: "Nah, I'm going to go hang out with Isabel." Susie gets up off the couch and walks away.
Shubie: "Oh okay. Have fun, Susie!" Susie exits the house.
Shubie: "Well, it looks like I'll be spending this Saturday by myself." Shubie sits down on the couch. Shubie grabs the remote and changes the channel on the TV.
Monica (on the screen): "Oh Brad, my life was meaningless before I met you. I don't know how anyone can go through life alone."
Brad (on the screen): "I don't either, Monica. I'd be miserable if I didn't have someone to spend the rest of my life with. I'm so lucky to have you."
Monica: "Oh, Brad."
Brad: "Oh, Monica." Brad and Monica kiss. Shubie turns off the TV.
Shubie: "Maybe I should clean the house."
(Scene cuts to a montage of Shubie cleaning her house)
Shubie: "Well, that's everything. I guess I could sweep the garage, but I don't want to disturb Nat." Shubie walks over to the garage and knocks on the door.
Shubie: "Nat, are you in there?" Shubie doesn't hear a reply. Shubie opens the door and sees that the garage is empty.
Shubie: "Huh, they must've left." Shubie grabs a broom and starts sweeping the garage. Shubie accidentally knocks over a box behind her. A book slides out of the box.
Shubie: "Whoops. Hey, what's this?" Shubie picks up the book and blows some dust off it. Shubie opens the book.
Shubie: "Wait a minute, is this the wedding album? I haven't seen these photos in years!" Shubie flips through the book.
(Scene cuts to a photo of Shubie, Nancy, Martha, Sadie, Sally, Tina-Fran and Patty Rechid)
Shubie: "There's me and my bridesmaids! Why does Sadie look so unhappy in all of these photos? Maybe she was upset that I didn't make her my maid of honor."
(Scene cuts to a photo of Shubie and Nat at the alter)
Shubie: "There's me and Nat at the altar! Look at how young we look!"
(Scene cuts to a photo of Shubie and Nat eating cake)
Shubie: "And there's me and Nat eating the cake at the reception! We both agreed not to shove cake in each other's faces."
(Scene cuts to Pilar speaking during the reception)
Shubie: "That's Pilar giving the best man speech."
(Scene cuts to a photo of Nat and Shubie dancing at the wedding)
Shubie: "And there's me and Nat dancing! Aw, we look so cute."
(Scene cuts back to Shubie flipping through the wedding album in her garage)
Shubie: "There's so many great pictures in here! That wedding was the happiest day of my life. What I wouldn't give to feel that way now." Shubie sighs. Shubie closes the wedding album and puts it back in the box. Suddenly, a big explosion happens. Shubie jumps behind some boxes and hides. Shubie peaks over the boxes and sees Nat and Harold standing in front of a time machine.
Nat: "That time machine works great, Harold!"
Harold: "I told you it would! I can't wait to brag about it to all the scientists at the Bikini Bottom science convention tonight. Hey, speaking of the convention, would you like to be my plus one, Nat?"
Nat: "Harold, your plus one is supposed to be a girl."
Harold: "I know, but Evelyn and Debbie both said no." Nat sighs.
Nat: "Okay. I'll be your plus one, Harold. You want to come inside and watch the game?"
Harold: "Sure, but shouldn't we move the time machine back into my house first?"
Nat: "Nah, let's move it later. It's not like anyone's going to find it in here. Plus the game's starting right now." Harold shrugs.
Harold: "Yeah, you're right." Nat and Harold walk past Shubie and exit the garage. Shubie walks over to the time machine.
Shubie: "A time machine, eh? Oh, I could do so many things with this! I probably shouldn't mess with it though." Shubie looks over at the box containing her and Nat's wedding album.
Shubie: "You know what? No. Face it, Shubie. This is not the life you wanted. You're miserable. It's time to make things right."
(Shubie jumps in the machine and presses a bunch of buttons)
Shubie: "Take me back to three years ago!"
(The machine travels back in time to three years ago) Shubie exits the time machine and finds herself behind a restaurant.
Shubie: "Where am I? Oh, yeah, I'm at that restaurant that closed down a few years ago." Shubie walks around the building and towards the entrance. Lenny and Mabel exit the restaurant.
Mabel: "Oh Lenny, you always pick the best places for our dates."
Shubie: "Oh no! I can't let anyone see me!" Shubie runs away and hides behind a dumpster.
Mabel: "Hey, did you see that?"
Lenny: "See what?"
Mabel: "I swear I just saw something run behind that dumpster."
Lenny: "It was probably nothing. The only thing I see is the prettiest anchovy in the ocean."
Mabel: "Oh, Lenny." Lenny and Mabel kiss. Lenny and Mabel walk past Shubie. Shubie peaks out from behind the dumpster.
Shubie: "That was a close one. I can't let anyone see me, but in order for my plan to work, I have to get into this restaurant. Now how am I going to do that?" Shubie walks around the side of the restaurant and sees an open window.
Shubie: "Perfect!" Shubie peaks through the window and sees that it leads into a restroom. Martha exits a bathroom stall.
Martha: "I knew I shouldn't have ordered those baked beans." Martha washes her hands and leaves the women's bathroom.
Shubie: "Looks like the coast is clear." Shubie climbs through the window. Shubie walks over to the door and opens it slightly to peak inside the restaurant.
Shubie: "Wow, this place is packed! I can't let anyone see me, especially if my past self is already here. I'll need to disguise myself, but how?" Shubie looks around the restaurant and sees a waitress uniform hanging up in the back.
Shubie: "A waitress uniform, perfect!" Shubie exits the bathroom and sneaks over to the back where the waitress uniform is. Shubie puts on the uniform.
Shubie: "Okay, now where am I sitting?" Shubie looks around the restaurant.
Shubie: "Hey, is that Fred... with Nancy? Oh, that's right. Fred wasn't married to Sadie back then. He was still married to Nancy. Hey, and there's Tom with Sally! And Harold with Debbie! Wow, I can't believe this was only a few years ago! A lot has changed since then. Where are me and Nat though? I don't see us. We mustn't be here yet." Shubie looks at her watch.
Shubie: "It's 6:30. We probably won't be coming here for another 30 minutes. Actually, make that 20 minutes. I always arrive 10 minutes early. Now what am I going to do until then?" Shubie turns around and bumps into a waitress.
Shubie: "Oh, I'm so sorry! I didn't see you there."
Waitress: "Hey, watch where you're going! Wait, who the barnacles are you? I've never seen you here before."
Shubie: "Oh, I'm, um…." The waitress looks down at the name tag on Shubie's uniform.
Waitress: "Hold on, are you the new girl, Betty? What took you so long? Your shift started 30 minutes ago. We need you at table six!" The waitress pushes Shubie towards table six where Fred and Nancy are sitting.
Shubie: "Hi Fred! Hi Nancy!"
Fred: "Uh, do we know you?"
Shubie: "I mean, hello, my name is, uh, Betty, and I'll be your server tonight. What can I get for you two?" Shubie pulls out a pen and a pad of paper from one of the pockets in her uniform.
Fred: "Hmm, I'll have whichever meal is your most expensive."
Nancy: "Make it two."
Fred: "Look at us, ordering the most expensive entrees on the menu! To being rich!" Fred and Nancy laugh and clink their glasses. Shubie scribbles down their order.
Shubie: "Okay, coming right up." Shubie walks over to the kitchen.
Shubie: "This is for table six! They would like two orders of whichever entree is the most expensive." Shubie hands the order to the chef. Shubie looks at her watch.
Shubie: "It's 6:40. Nat and I should be here soon." The waitress walks over to Shubie.
Waitress: "Betty, we need you at table three."
Shubie: "Okay." Shubie walks over to table three where Harold and Debbie are sitting.
Harold: "Well it's about time! We've been waiting forever for service!"
Shubie: "Sorry. My name is Betty, and I'll be your server tonight. What can I get for you?"
Harold: "I'll have a burger."
Debbie: "How are the raviolis?"
Shubie: "Oh, they're uh… good!"
Debbie: "Wow, talk about a convincing endorsement. I'll have the spaghetti in marinara sauce."
Shubie: "Okay, coming right up." Shubie walks towards the kitchen.
Debbie: "The service in this place leaves something to be desired." Shubie hands Harold and Debbie's order to the chef. Shubie notices Nat and herself walking into the restaurant.
Shubie: "We're here." The waitress walks over to Shubie carrying some food.
Waitress: "Betty! You were supposed to bring this to table six! Their food is ready!" The waitress hands Shubie the food.
Shubie: "Oh, sorry. I'll be right on it." Shubie walks over to table six.
Fred: "You're the prettiest fish in the sea." Nancy blushes.
Nancy: "Oh, stop it."
Shubie: "Here's your food!" Shubie hands Fred and Nancy their meals.
Fred: "Well, Nancy, I think we made the right decision in ordering the most expensive entree! This looks delicious!"
Shubie: "Is there anything else I can get you two?"
Nancy: "No, thanks. Oh, and here's a little something for your service." Nancy pulls out some money and hands it to Shubie.
Shubie: "Wow, thanks Nancy! I mean, ma'am!"
Fred: "Wow, a $30 tip? That's awfully generous of you, Nancy."
Nancy: "Eh, she needs the money a lot more than we do. We're filthy rich!" Fred and Nancy laugh. Shubie walks away.
Shubie: "I forgot how obnoxious Fred and Nancy were when they were married. Hey, there's me and Nat. Now's my chance! It’s time to save my marriage." Shubie walks over to Nat and Past Shubie.
Shubie: "Oh wow, I used to be so much younger looking." Nat and Past Shubie look at her strangely.
Nat: "Uh, can we help you?"
Shubie: "Sorry! Um, my name is Betty, and I'll be your server tonight. Are you two ready to order?"
Past Shubie: "Another waitress already took our order."
Shubie: "Oh! Well in that case, is there anything that I can get you?"
Nat: "No, I think we're fine."
Tom: "Hey! What does it take for a guy to get a drink around here?!" Shubie looks over and sees Tom and Sally sitting at a nearby table.
Shubie: "Oh, I'm sorry but I'm not your waitress."
Tom: "Yeah, and? You're telling me you can't get me a drink?" Shubie sighs and walks over to Tom and Sally.
Shubie: "What can I get you, sir?"
Tom: "I'll take a Diet Dr. Kelp."
Sally: "And could you get me a water?"
Shubie: "Certainly. I'll be right back." Shubie gets some drinks for Tom and Sally. Shubie walks back over to Tom and Sally and gives them their drinks.
Tom: "Finally!" Shubie walks away.
Shubie: "Tom can be such a jerk sometimes. No wonder he's been married three times but enough about that. It's time to save my marriage." Shubie walks back over to Nat and Past Shubie who are eating their dinner.
Shubie: "Are you two enjoying your meal?"
Past Shubie: "Yes, the raviolis are very good. How do you like your burger, Nat?"
Nat: "They overcooked it. I knew we should've gone to that other place, but no, we had to come here because Martha recommended it to you."
Past Shubie: "I'm sorry, Nat. Martha told me that the food here was really good. She and her husband go here all the time." The waitress walks over to Shubie.
Waitress: "Betty! What are you doing here? This isn't your table, and table three is waiting for their food!" The waitress grabs Shubie and leads her over to the kitchen. The waitress hands Shubie some food. Shubie walks over to table three and hands Harold and Debbie their food.
Shubie: "Here's your food!" Debbie scoffs.
Debbie: "Took you long enough." Shubie walks away.
Shubie: "Let it go, Shubie. You still have a marriage to save." Shubie walks back over to Nat and Past Shubie.
Past Shubie: "Wait, so your boss is making you work late again this week?"
Nat: "Did you listen to anything I just said? I swear, sometimes I feel like I'm talking to a brick wall."
Shubie: "So, how's everything going? Is there anything I can help you with?"
Tom: "Hey, waitress! I need another drink! I'm dying of thirst over here!" Shubie sighs and walks over to Tom and Sally.
Shubie: "What can I get for you, sir?"
Tom: "I'll take another Diet Dr. Kelp and make it snappy!" Shubie walks over to the kitchen and grabs a Diet Dr. Kelp out of the refrigerator. Shubie then walks back over to Tom and Sally and hands Tom his drink.
Shubie: "Here's your drink, sir." Shubie looks over at Past Shubie and Nat eating dinner at their table. Nat puts his burger down on the table.
Nat: "I have to use the bathroom." Nat gets up and walks over to the restroom.
Shubie: "Is Nat going to the restroom? Now's my chance!" Shubie walks towards Past Shubie. The waitress walks over to her.
Waitress: "Betty! Where have you been? We need you to serve table seven!"
Shubie: "Okay, just give me a second. I'll be right there."
Waitress: "Just give you a second?! No, get over there now! You can't just do whatever you want. This isn't some cushy job where you can sit on your butt all day. You have to do what I say, when I say it. Ugh, how did you even get hired? I can't believe we would hire someone who is this stupid!"
Shubie: "You know what? I've had to take a lot of nonsense from you and several customers tonight. I'm done. Why don't you serve table seven, jerk!" Shubie pushes the waitress into an empty table. Shubie walks over towards Past Shubie. Nat exits the bathroom and walks over to his table. Nat sits down at the table.
Past Shubie: "I hope Susie's having a good time with the sitter right now. So who did you get to babysit, Nat?"
Nat: "What? I thought you hired the babysitter."
Past Shubie: "No, I told you yesterday that the babysitter I hired cancelled, and you said that you'd find someone else to babysit Susie. Who's taking care of Susie right now?" Nat shrugs.
Nat: "I don't know."
Past Shubie: "What do you mean you don't know? Who showed up to babysit Susie before you left the house to get here?"
Nat: "Uh, no one did. It was almost 7 and I knew we had a reservation so I left the front door unlocked for the babysitter. I figured they were just running a little late."
Past Shubie: "Nat, you left our 2 year old daughter in the house by herself?! What the barnacles were you thinking?! How could you leave her alone with the front door unlocked? She could be kidnapped or dead for all we know! This has to be the single dumbest thing you have ever done!"
Nat: "Oh, so this is all my fault?!"
Past Shubie: "Yes, Nat! You left our daughter at home all by herself!"
Nat: "Well, none of this ever would've happened if you hadn't wanted to go out to eat so badly! As if we weren't struggling enough, do you know how much this meal is going to cost us? I am so sick of busting my butt and working countless hours of overtime to provide for our family. And what thanks do I get for that? Nothing! You never support me. All you ever do is nag me. I don't see you doing anything to help this family!"
Past Shubie: "Nat, what are you talking about? I do support you and our family. I have a job too. I had to come here straight from work because I took an extra shift today."
Nat: "Oh right, how I could I forget about your joke job at the clothing store?"
Past Shubie: "Joke?!"
Nat: "Yes Shubie, your job is absolute joke! Anyone with half a brain can do your job! Half of your coworkers are freshman in high school!"
Past Shubie: "Well at least I have half a brain, unlike you! Anyone with half a brain would've known that it's a bad idea to leave a 2 year old unsupervised in an unlocked house!"
Nat: "Oh yeah? Well…"
Past Shubie: "That enough, Nat! I'm done arguing with you about this. I need to go home and make sure our daughter's okay. Neptune knows what may have happened to her." Nat sighs.
Nat: "Fine. I'm done arguing too, but you need to know this. I don't love you anymore, Shubie, and I haven't for a long time. The spark that we once had faded away long ago, and there's no point in pretending that it's still there. That's the whole reason you wanted us to go on this date, right? To try to rekindle our love? Well that's not happening, and we need to accept that. I think it's best if we see other people."
Past Shubie: "Nat, don't say that. We can make this work. It doesn't have to be this way. I still love you."
Nat: "I'm sorry, Shubie, but I just don't feel that way about you anymore. It's for the best that we spend some time apart." Nat walks away.
Past Shubie: "Nat, please…" Past Shubie starts to cry. Past Shubie runs by Shubie and exits the restaurant.
Shubie: "I was too late. I guess me and Nat are destined to not end up together." Shubie exits the restaurant and walks over to the time machine. Shubie gets in the time machine.
(The machine travels back to the present) Shubie exits the time machine and finds herself in Nat's garage.
Shubie: "Well, I couldn't save my marriage, but at least I got $30. I'd better change out of this uniform." Shubie takes off the waitress uniform and exits the garage.
Nat (from upstairs): "Shubie, is that you?Can you help me with something?"
Shubie: "Sure, Nat." Shubie walks upstairs to her and Nat's bedroom. Shubie opens the door and enters the bedroom.
Shubie: "So what do you need help with?"
Nat: "Can you help me tie this bow tie? I'm supposed to go to some science convention with Harold tonight."
Shubie: "Of course, Nat." Shubie walks over to Nat and begins to tie his bow tie. Nat laughs.
Nat: "I guess I'm still not the best at tying bow ties. You remember what happened at our wedding, right?" Shubie laughs.
Shubie: "You know I do."
(Scene cuts to a flashback of Nat and Shubie's wedding) Shubie is standing in front of a door wearing a bridal dress. Shubie looks at her watch.
Shubie: "Hurry up, Nat! The ceremony's about to start."
Nat (from inside the room): "Shubie, can you help me with something?" Shubie opens the door and enters the room.
Shubie: "What is it, Nat?"
Nat: "Can you help me tie this bow tie? I'm not the best with ties."
Shubie: "Of course, Nat." Shubie ties Nat's bow tie.
Nat: "You look beautiful, Shubie. You look even prettier than I imagined you would."
Shubie: "Aw, thanks Nat. You look very handsome too. I can't wait to become Mrs. Peterson today."
Nat: "And I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you." Nat and Shubie kiss.
(Flashback ends)
(Scene cuts back to the present where Nat and Shubie are kissing) Shubie pulls away from Nat.
Shubie: "Oh my gosh! Nat, I am so sorry. I don't know what came over me."
Nat: "It's okay, Shubie. There's no need to apologize. We haven't kissed in such a long time. I forgot how great that felt."
Shubie: "Oh, Nat."
Nat: "Oh, Shubie." Nat and Shubie kiss.
(Episode ends)