Transcript[]
(Scene cuts to Nat, Pilar, Frank, Nancy and Shubie watching the Bikini Bottom High School football team play Rock Bottom in the state semifinals)
Announcer: "And he's going past the thirty, twenty, ten, five, TOUCHDOWN! Bikini Bottom scores!" Everyone except Harold starts cheering.
Announcer: "It looks like it's the end of the road for Rock Bottom. Bikini Bottom has just upset Rock Bottom, 21-20. They're going to the State Finals. And in the other semifinal game, New Kelp City crushes Dullsville, 35-14."
Harold: "YES!!"
Announcer: "So our championship game will be third place Bikini Bottom versus first place New Kelp City."
Pilar: "Bikini Bottom's gonna crush."
Harold: "No, we're gonna destroy you guys!"
Pilar: "No way."
Harold: "Yes way!"
Pilar: "No!"
Harold: "Yes!"
Both: "Nat!?!? Which team do you want to win?"
Nat: "Uh..."
Shubie: "Okay, great game guys see you all next week! Bye, Frank and Nancy. Bye, Pilar. Bye, Harold." Shubie pushes all of the guests out of the house.
Nat: "Thanks Shubie. You saved me."
(Scene cuts to Nat working at Sadie's Cookies) Pilar walks in.
Nat: "Hello Pilar, what can I do for you today?"
Pilar: "Which team are you rooting for? I know you're rooting for us, right?"
Harold (Runs into the store): "No, he's rooting for New Kelp City!"
Nat: "If you guys aren't going to buy anything, then get out of my store!" Harold and Pilar leave.
Sadie: "Friends of yours?" The phone rings and Nat picks it up.
Nat: "Hello, Sadie's Cookies."
Pilar: "You've gotta be rooting for Bikini Bottom, right?" Nat hangs up, and the phone rings again.
Nat: "No Harold, I'm not telling you who I'm rooting FOR!"
Evelyn: "This isn't Harold, this is Evelyn!"
Nat: "Oh, well, what can I do for you ma'am?"
Evelyn: "You can do nothing! I don't want your cookies anymore!" Evelyn hangs up the phone.
Nat: "Why don't you answer the phone, Sadie?"
(Scene cuts to Pilar and Harold asking Nat a million questions all over town) Nat runs into his house and slams the door.
Nat: "I can't take it anymore! Those guys are driving me nuts!"
Shubie: "Well, they are your best friends."
Nat: "Yeah, don't you have to do the same thing with your best friend once in a while?"
Shubie: "I don't have a best friend."
Nat: "What? You were voted most popular girl in high school! What about Nancy or Martha or Sadie? One of them has to be your best friend."
Shubie: "Nope, I don't need a best friend because I am friends with about every girl in town. So since they're all already my friend, and I don't need to have a best friend. And by the way honey, the state championship is tomorrow."
Nat: "Phew! Finally all this drama will be over" (Scene cuts to Nat's house the next day)
Shubie: "Hi, Frank and Nancy. Oh, Isabel, Susie is in the other room waiting to play with you. Hi Pilar! Hi Harold."
Announcer: "And it's time for the kickoff. New Kelp City gets the ball and is tackled at the twenty."
(Scene cuts to Harold cheering, and then to Pilar cheering back and forth)
Announcer: "And now, there is one minute left. The score is 20-23, New Kelp City. It's Bikini Bottom's ball. The running back gets the ball. He's going to the twenty, thirty, forty, gets tackled near the 50 yard line. Thirty seconds left. The wide receiver gets it, and is tackled near the twenty. They go to the tight end, who gets tackled at the five. The running back's gonna run... right into the endzone! Bikini Bottom wins! Bikini Bottom wins!"
Pilar(grabs Nat): "We won!" Everyone starts cheering except for Harold who runs out of the room.
Nat: "Oh come on, Harold, don't be like that." Harold walks out of the house.
(Scene cuts to Shubie and Nat washing some dishes in their kitchen) Nat looks out the window.
Nat(sighs): "Is he still there?"
Shubie: "Yeah, maybe you should talk to him."
Nat: "Oh, I don't know, maybe I should give him some more time." Shubie looks at her watch.
Shubie: "He's been sitting out there for three hours."
Nat(sighs): "Fine, I'll go talk to him." Nat walks out of his house and over to Harold.
Nat: "Hey Harold, what's the matter?"
Harold: "Everything's the matter! New Kelp City blew the game."
Nat: "Oh, don't be so hard on yourself. It's not your fault they lost."
Harold: "Yeah, but this always happens to me! Nothing ever goes my way, and everyone thinks I'm a deadbeat."
Nat: "No one thinks you're a deadbeat, Harold." Evelyn walks by and sees Harold crying.
Evelyn: "Oh grow up, deadbeat!" Evelyn walks away.
Harold: "See, I'm such a failure! Everyone has a better life than me!"
Nat: "Don't say that Harold..."
Harold: "But it's true, look at your life! You have two kids and you're married to one of the prettiest women in Bikini Bottom! Look at Fred! Do you know how much more money he makes than me? Plus he's married and has four kids! Frank and Tom both have a good amount of money too and are both happily married. Even Lenny's married and has more money than I do!"
Nat: "You don't have the worst life Harold, trust me. I'm sure there's someone who has a worse life than you."
Harold: "You really think so? Who has a worse life than me?"
Nat: Uh... Scooter does!"
Harold: "Scooter! He's more of deadbeat than me! Thanks a lot Nat! That really helped! What about Pilar and Clayton?"
Nat: "Uh... it's debatable."
Harold: "Wow Nat, some help you are."
Nat: "Oh, come on, Harold. You're the only person I know who makes really great inventions! Why don't you just make an invention that makes your life better?"
Harold: "That's a great idea, Nat! Why didn't I think of that?" Harold gets up and runs over to his house. Nat walks back inside his house.
Shubie: "So did he leave? "
Nat: "Yeah, I think he finally got over it."
Shubie: "Great! Now everyone won't be wondering why a middle aged man is crying in front of our house!"