| File:Pgrating.png | All episodes of Primitiv are rated PG, meaning that the content of its episodes contain several thematic elements, most pertaining to minor violent scenes and suggestive language. Discretion is advised. |
| Friendly Fire | |
|---|---|
| File:Firev2.png | |
| Series | Primitiv |
| Season | 1 |
| Episode | 1 |
| Airdate | February 6, 2016 |
| Written by | MrScience12 |
| Previous Episode | None |
| Next Episode | A Horse To Water |
Friendly Fire is the first episode of the spin-off, Primitiv, and the first episode of season one. In this episode, SpongeGar and Patar are sent to gather meat for the villagers of their tribe. However, their conquest is halted from the need of a certain means for preparation: fire.
Characters[]
Script[]
- A pan over the flat, barren horizon initiates the episode; few hills and valleys are present over the horizon, lakes and grassland sparse over the view; the camera ends the pan with a close-up shot of a primitive jellyfish, a darker variation of pink, barely barring visible spots; three legs caress the bottom; suddenly, the sway of the jellyfish is halted, and quickly descends to the ground
- File:Spongegartest.png SpongeGar: [offscreen] Bullseye, mate!
- [the camera reveals the cause of the end of the jellyfish - one shot from a stone arrow; the camera pans away from the kill to reveal an approaching SpongeGar and Patar, both wearing spotted hide for clothing and insulation; the two survey the down, and SpongeGar places a fiber-woven bag next to the creature]
- File:Patartest.png Patar: [pointing to arrow] You want that back?
- File:Spongegartest.png SpongeGar: [surveys] Eh... [shrugs] There will always be more. [grabs jellyfish carcass; places into bag] Let's get this fresh meat back to the village. All the meat we can get, right?
- File:Patartest.png Patar: Not right now, buddy. [takes out a papyrus note, containing writing] Yep, right here. It claims we need to...prepare...the meat before returning. No sickness that way, I guess.
- File:Spongegartest.png SpongeGar: [incorrect pronunciation] Prepare? How do h-ll you do that?
- File:Patartest.png Patar: [scratching point of head] If I remember correctly, to "prepare" meat, you need to cook it. Like...uh...over a hot fire.
- File:Spongegartest.png SpongeGar: [searching around] Fire, huh?
- The two engage in a search of the perimeter; SpongeGar lifts two rocks off the ground, while Patar grabs two sticks; the two meet in the same area with their items, both confused with each other's decisions
- File:Spongegartest.png SpongeGar: You gonna make a fire with that?
- File:Patartest.png Patar: Sure am. Makes one of us.
- File:Spongegartest.png SpongeGar: Pssh! Watch this. [kneels, rubbing the two rocks together] Flint makes a good burn, am I right? It's how I was taught.
- File:Patartest.png Patar: Then you need your money back, SpongeGar. Watch this! [rubs the two sticks together] Ya huh! Getting real warm over here. [touches SpongeGar's back with the stick]
- File:Spongegartest.png SpongeGar: Ah! [stands up and turns to Patar; laughing] Damn you! I see your point. First to fire wins?
- File:Patartest.png Patar: Let's do it!
- The two begin their contest, producing sparks during the entire montage; eventually, Patar's sticks produce a kindle of fire
- File:Patartest.png Patar: I win!
- File:Spongegartest.png SpongeGar: Sorcery, I say! Sorcery!
- File:Patartest.png Patar: Psh! Ha! So, now what do we do?
- File:Spongegartest.png SpongeGar: [takes out jellyfish carcass from bag] I suppose we cook, or...prepare, it now.
- Patar places the sticks in close proximity together on the ground, and the two kneel beside it; the fire grows slowly, and SpongeGar places the carcass onto the flames
- File:Patartest.png Patar: Now, we wait. [takes off hide covering, rendering himself clothless] Ah, much better. Fire sure is cozy.
- File:Spongegartest.png SpongeGar: Ah, c'mon! I don't need to see all that! [sighs] I'm leaving.
- File:Patartest.png Patar: You're not leaving.
- File:Spongegartest.png SpongeGar: [turns on side] I am, indeed. To my dreams. [closes eyes]
- Eventually, the two drift off to slumber next to the warm fire, leaving the unattended carcass to cook improperly; the carcass is burnt to a crisp as time continues, and the fire spreads to the surrounding grass, and soon the feet of the sleeping two
- File:Spongegartest.png SpongeGar: [awakes in slight pain] Ah, ah! [sits up] Oh, damn! [grabs Patrick's hide clothing and places it onto the spreading fire, neutralizing it] Woo, that's better. [to Patar] Get up!
- File:Patartest.png Patar: I'm awake, SpongeGar. [stands up] Well, great. Now what am I gonna wear?
- File:Spongegartest.png SpongeGar: Dress yourself later! Right now, the village still needs their sustenance, Patar. It's up to us.
- File:Patartest.png Patar: [sighs] Fine. [reaches into SpongeGar's bag and takes out bow and an arrow] Gonna be here a while, eh?
- Patar places the arrow into the frame of the bow and aims toward another jellyfish; as he fires the arrow into the camera, the screen transitions to black, ending the episode
| v • e • h |
Friendly Fire • A Horse To Water |