| Fruit Burger | |
|---|---|
| |
| Series | SpongeBob SquarePants |
| Season | 1 |
| Episode | 7a |
| Written by | Wacko3 |
| Directed by | Wumbo Combo |
Plot[]
Mr. Krabs turns the Krabby Patty to a healthier fruit burger to keep food critics from making bad comments about the Krabby Patty. But will everybody like them?
Characters[]
- SpongeBob
- Patrick
- Mr. Krabs
- Krusty Krab Customers
- Harold
- Tom
- Fred
- Martha
- Nancy Suzy Fish
- Lenny (cameo)
- Squidward (minor role)
- Food Critics
- Food Critic Sanderson
- Food Critic Craner
- Food Critic Jamison
- Plankton
Transcript[]
- [We see Mr. Krabs in his office counting his money]
- Mr. Krabs: 435627162, 435627163, 435627164-
- [An angry food critic bursts in]
- Food Critic: EUGENE KRABS!
- [We cut to the kitchen]
- SpongeBob: EUGENE KRABS?
- [We cut to the eating area]
- Fish: EUGENE KRABS?
- [We cut back to the office]
- Mr. Krabs: I'LL SHOOT YA BEFORE YOU TAKE MY MONEY!
- Food Critic: NOT IF I SHOOT YOU FIRST!
- Will Ferrell: Well...that escalated quickly.
- Mr. Krabs: How can you breathe underwater?
- Will Ferrell: LOGIC
- [Will Ferrell implodes]
- Food Critic: ...I have no words.
- Mr. Krabs: YOU'LL NEVER TAKE MY MONEY!
- [Squidward runs into the office]
- Squidward: TAKE IT, PLEASE! RUN HIM OUT OF BUSINESS!
- Mr. Krabs: SQUIDWARD, I'M GONNA SHOOT YOU!
- Will Ferrell: Well...that escalated quickly.
- Mr. Krabs: I thought you imploded!
- Will Ferrell: LOGIC
- [Will Ferrell explodes again]
- Food Critic: EUGENE KRABS, YOU ARE LIABLE TO THESE CHARGES!
- Mr. Krabs: Do I have to pay any money?
- Food Critic: No-
- Mr. Krabs: YAAAY! Okay, what do I have to do?
- Food Critic: You have to change the Krabby Patty formula!
- [We cut to the kitchen]
- SpongeBob: *gasp*
- [We cut to the eating area]
- Fred: *gasp*
- [We cut back to the office]
- Mr. Krabs: Why would I do that?
- Food Critic: First off, I have gotten complaints that the burger is unhealthy.
- Mr. Krabs: What? The guy across the street sells CHUM! That poisons people!
- Food Critic: THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!
- Nancy: THIS RESTAURANT HAS TOO MUCH GENDER DISCRIMINATION!
- Food Critic: feminism
- Nancy: Okay. I'm fine.
- Mr. Krabs: The wonders of words!
- Food Critic: TASTE THESE WORDS! MAKE YOUR BURGER HEALTHY, OR YOU WILL PAY MONEY!
- Mr. Krabs: NOOOOOO!
- R.E.M. IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD AS WE KNOW IT!
- [We cut to Squidward]
- Squidward: And I feel fine.
- [We cut back to the office]
- Mr. Krabs: CHANGE IT IN 3 DAYS OR PAY!
- [Timecard: 3 days later...]
- Mr. Krabs: Welp, formula is changed.
- SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, I don't know about this-
- Mr. Krabs: MAKE FRUIT PATTIES OR I'LL SHOOT YOU!
- Will Ferrell: Well...that escalated quickly.
- Mr. Krabs: Can you go away for real this time?
- [Will Ferrell implodes]
- SpongeBob: *sigh* It just doesntt seem right.
- [We cut to the office]
- Mr. Krabs: *gulp* What if SpongeBob is right? Maybe it is a bad idea!
- [We cut to the eating area]
- Harold: HEY! THIS THING TASTES AWFUL! WHY IS THERE A BUNCH OF FRUIT ALL OVER THE BURGER?
- Tom: Yeah, I don't like it.
- Mr. Horse: No sir, I don't like it.
- Martha: LET'S LEAVE!
- [A bunch of customers run out the door]
- Will Ferrell: Well...that escalated quickly.
- Mr. Krabs: I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO GO AWAY!
- Old Man Jenkins: YOU DARN KIDS AND THEIR FLYING MACHINES!
- SpongeBob: OLD PEOPLE RANTS!
- Mr. Krabs: Who ya callin old?
- Patrick: Who you calling pinhead?
- Will Ferrell: Well...that escalated quickly.
- Mr. Krabs: EVERYONE GO!
- [Everybody except Mr. Krabs, Squidward and SpongeBob implode]
- Mr. Krabs: THAT'S IT! I'M CHANGING THE FORMULA BACK!
- [Food Critic walks in]
- Food Critic: Eugene Krabs, on behalf of changing the formula back, I now fine you-
- Mr. Krabs: NO YOU DON'T!
- [Mr. Krabs shoots the Food Critic]
- Squidward:..did you just KILL A FOOD CRITIC?
- Mr. Krabs: Well, the moral of the story is that if you don't get things the way you want, shoot people!
- SpongeBob: That's a pretty deranged moral.
- Mr. Krabs: SHUT UP OR I'M GONNA SHOOT YOU!
- Will Ferrell: Well...that escalated quickly.
- Mr. Krabs: THAT'S THE LAST TIME!
- [Mr. Krabs shoots Will Ferrell]
- Squidward: You need help, Krabs.
- THE END