| New Jerseys | |
|---|---|
| File:NewJerseys.jpg | |
| Series | Basket Sponge |
| Season | 2 |
| Episode | 7 |
| Story by | Doctor Bugs |
| Written by | Doctor Bugs SBCA |
| Directed by | Doctor Bugs |
| Animation director(s) | SBCA |
| Title card by | SBCA |
New Jerseys is the seventh episode of Season 2 of Basket Sponge.
Plot[]
LeBron orders new uniforms for the team. But they are ugly, itchy, and all-out horrible, so the team goes on strike until LeBron changes his mind.
Transcript[]
[In the middle of an intense game against the Seatown Strikers]
Muscular Dude: (dribbles in for a layup)
SpongeBob: (tries to guard him, but the dude dribbles right through him, also ripping his uniform)
Muscular Dude: (scores)
SpongeBob: Hey! That was my uniform!
LeBron: (from the sidelines) Hmmm.....
[The next morning]
LeBron: Team! We lost an important game last night, and it was all because of one thing.
Larry: SpongeBob's stupidity?
LeBron: No.
Krabs: Global warming?
LeBron: Erm no.
Plankton: You passing a kidney stone during the game?
LeBron: (starts sweating) How'd you know about that? And NO!!!
Patrick: Hillary Clinton?
LeBron: Ewww, no! That's worse than passing a kidney stone!
SpongeBob: Then what is it?
LeBron: It's these lousy gay uniforms!
Squidward: I think they're sexy.
[Everyone stares at him]
Squidward: Yeah I said it, bitc-
LeBron: Alright! So-
Patrick:' I think they're delicious! (eats his uniform)
LeBron: You've eaten it before?
Patrick: Hah! Every day!
LeBron: Then how do you still have it?
Patrick: I have to wait until it passes through my system. (squirms) There we go! Nope....that was a kidney stone.
LeBron: Oh, gosh.
Patrick: Almost there....(squirms, starts shaking) Ta-da! Oh......that's Hillary Clinton.
LeBron: AHHHH!!!!! (whacks her with a broom) Get out! Get! Get! (runs her out of the gym)
Patrick: This may take a while.
LeBron: Forget about it. Because I've ordered NEW JERSEYS! (holds up a bag of the new uniforms)
Patrick: Oh boy! We're going to New Jersey?
Larry: No, dimwad. He ordered new jerseys.
Patrick: He ordered plane tickets to New Jersey? EFF YEAH! I LOVE NEW JERSEY!
Squidward: Who the hell likes New Jersey?
LeBron: Who cares. Everyone, try these on. (throws each player their uniform)
Krabs: (puts his on) ….it's a bit snug.....(breaks)
Plankton: Hahaha you're fat. (receives his jersey) Holy crap, this thing's the SIZE of New Jersey!
Krabs: Hahaha you're small.
Plankton:' (bites his toe)
Krabs: AAHH!!!
SpongeBob: These uniforms.....they're so plain.....
Squidward: And ugly.......
Larry: And uncomfortable.....
Patrick: (eats his) AWWHH!!!! DISGUSTING!!!! The old uniforms tasted WAAAY better! (passes his old uniform) Oh boy! It's back! (eats it again)
Plankton: That's disgusting....
LeBron: So, enjoy your new uniforms, guys!
Larry: I hate these piece-of-shit uniforms!
LeBron: Wha???
Squidward: Yeah, these suck balls. (throws his uniform down, stomps on it)
LeBron: But....I put a lot of work into these! Our other uniforms were too breakable!
Krabs: Well these SUCK!
LeBron: Too bad. Cuz guess what? You all HAVE to wear them.
Patrick: Yayy!!!!
Larry: No, Patrick, that's a bad thing.
Patrick: Noooo!!! (chucks a rubber chicken at LeBron's head)
LeBron: Oww! Dafuq?
Squidward: Coach, this is stupid. Until you change your mind about these stupid uniforms, I QUIT!!!
Krabs: Me tooo!
Plankton: Me three!
Krabs: You're more like 2 and a half, lad.
Plankton: Aww.
Larry: Same here! These uniforms are trash! WHITE trash!
LeBron: Whoa, bro.
Patrick: I quit too! I don't know what that means, but I'm with them!
LeBron: Guys, this is ridiculous.
Larry: YOUR MOM IS RIDICULOUS.
LeBron: That is TOO far. Get your sorry butts OUT of my gym! I'll have you all replaced by tomorrow!
Larry: FINE! Come on, guys!
[Larry, Squidward, Krabs, Plankton, and Patrick proceeded to exit the gym]
LeBron: (turns to SpongeBob) C'mon, SpongeBro. I can always count on you. You're staying, right?
SpongeBob: Heh-heh....about that.......uh.......your fly's undone! (runs out the door)
LeBron: (looks down) Dang it, I didn't even wear pants today!
Lexi: Good thing you wore underwear.
LeBron: AHHH!!!! Who are YOU?????
Lexi: The new player...I've been here all season.
LeBron: What the....how come you haven't said anything?
Lexi: Frankly, I'm the quiet type.
LeBron: Okay...you're not leaving the team?
Lexi: No way! I'm fine with the uniforms!
LeBron: That's awesome! Wait.....I forgot you were on the team, so I didn't even get you a uniform....
Lexi: Exactly. That's why I'm fine with them. (smiles)
LeBron: (sigh) Whatever. At least you're staying. Unlike those other dummies.
Lexi: So, you wanted to replace them?
LeBron: Yeah, but I don't know who-
Lexi: I KNOW SOME PEOPLE!!!
LeBron: Okay, who?
Lexi: I'll bring all my friends tomorrow morning!
LeBron: Great! Let's get the ball rollin'. Haha. No pun intended.
Lexi: (awkwardly stares at him)
LeBron: (sigh) Never mind.
[The next morning]
LeBron: (enters the gym with a cup of coffee) Sup, homies.
Lexi: I brought my friends!
LeBron: AHHHH!!!! Who are YOU????
Lexi: Oh my God.
LeBron: Relax, JK dawg. Let me see your homies.
Lexi: Allow me to introduce you to Dickie, Freddie, Mr. Testicles, Jingle Puss, and Philbert!
[She points to a baby doll, a mop with a drawn face, a waffle with two cherries for eyes, a shoe, and a dead mouse]
LeBron: Ummm....these are all your friends, eh?
Lexi: (psychotically) I know right???? :D
LeBron: Weirdo....
Lexi: ?????
LeBron: Why is there a mouse underwater, anyway?
Lexi: It's a dead mouse!
LeBron: (facepalm) You hurt my brain.
Lexi: (looks out the window) Look outside, Coach!
[Outside]
Larry: (marching, on strike) I don't know, but I've been I told!
Everyone: I don't know, but I've been told!
Patrick: I like mayonnaise covered in mold!
Larry: No, Patrick.
Patrick: I like pickles that are old!
Larry: Erm, no.
Patrick: I LIKE FREAKING TRAINS-
Larry: (chucks a brick at Patrick)
Patrick: OUCH!!
[Inside]
LeBron: Haha, idiots.
Lexi: (staring at Patrick) He is so amazing.....
LeBron: What?
Lexi: I swear, I'm gonna marry that man....
LeBron: Who? Larry? He's a hunk, but he's a dick.
Lexi: Not Larry. I'm talking about....tee-hee......Patrick! <3
LeBron: WHAT?! Excuse me for a minute. (he runs to the corner, and dumps a butt-load of pills into the trash can; he runs back to Lexi) Now, where were we?
Lexi: Patrick, he's just.....the man of my dreams.
LeBron: Excuse me for a minute. (he runs to the corner, and dumps a bottle of liquor into the trash can)
Lexi: Coach! Stop it! I want some!
LeBron: Sorry, I dumped it all out.
Lexi: (lightbulb dings) That's it! I know how we can get Patrick back on the team!
LeBron: Uh....do we really WANT Patrick back on the team?
Lexi: Yes, and I know how. I need to seduce him and make him join the team!
LeBron: He's so dumb that it may actually work.
Lexi: Aww yeah!
[She goes outside]
Lexi: (to Patrick) Hey, big boy. (winks)
Patrick: You think I'm fat? What the HECK!
Lexi: (starts scratching his chin) Let's take this somewhere....private.....
Patrick: (getting turned on) I like that......
[The two of them kiss]
Lexi: I love you.
Patrick: I love you too, bae.
[They hop on a plane, and fly off to their honeymoon]
LeBron: Grrrrr!!!!! Now I lost Lexi! My last freaking player!!!!
[Larry and the rest of them are still outside going on strike]
LeBron: Hmmm....but I got the perfect chance to ditch Patrick! And Lexi! It's a double win! I can't miss this opportunity! What an improvement! :D
[He gets a mega-phone, and goes outside]
LeBron: Attention, former team. I've agreed to ditch these new uniforms, and go back to the old ones.
SpongeBob: HOORAY!!!!
Larry: Aww yeah, baby!
LeBron: But, we need to make sure Patrick and Lexi never come back!
Plankton: I can handle that! (presses a button on a remote)
Squidward: ….what did that do?
LeBron: It better not hurt them! I just want them off the team!
Plankton: Don't worry about it. It's just something I installed in Patrick's brain while he was sleeping.
[We see Patrick and Lexi sitting on a beach somewhere]
Lexi: (places her hands on Patrick's face) Baby.....
Patrick: (explodes)
Lexi: .....what