Quarantined

Quarantined is the first episode of Bikini Bottom Chronicles.

Character(s)[]

Cashier
Cell Mate
Citizen
Decontamination Fish
Earl
Eugene H. Krabs
Judge
Patrick Star
Police Officer
Sandy Cheeks
Security Guard
Sheldon J. Plankton
SpongeBob SquarePants
Squidward Tentacles
Stranger

Setting(s)[]

Bargn' Mart
Chum Bucket
Court Room
Patrick's House
Eugene H. Krabs' House
Jail Cell
Krusty Krab
Rubber Room
Sandy's House
SpongeBob's Front Door
Squidward's Front Door

Transcript[]

[Scene starts with Patrick tossing and turning in his bed, while sucking thumb]
Patrick: [Suddenly awakens from a nightmare] Ah! [Begins breathing heavily, and realizes that it was all just a bad dream] What a night! That's the last time that I eat twelve slices of pizza before bed. [Wipes sweat away from his head, as stomach growls] Maybe just one more slice. [Approaches the refrigerator, and grabs another slice of pizza, as he gobbles it down] Delicious! [Licks fingers, but suddenly rushes towards the bathroom, and opens the door]
[A stranger is seen sitting on Patricks toilet, while reading a newspaper]
Stranger: Occupied, here.
Patrick: Sorry. [Shuts the door, with a disturbed look on his face] Wait a minute... why was a stranger in my bathroom?
Stranger: [Exits the bathroom] I wouldn't go back in there if I were you.
Patrick: Yeah, yeah! [Rushes into the bathroom]
[Opening theme]
[The scene immediately cuts to the outside of Patricks house, where many people in decontamination suits are standing]
Decontamination Fish: Everyone calm down; we have everything under control, here!
[More people wearing decontamination suits begin marching out of Patricks house, carrying a container]
Decontamination Fish: Well?
[People in the decontamination suits remove the lid from the container]
Decontamination Fish: [Sniffs the air sample, and quickly covers his nose as he falls unconscious]
Patrick: Come on; it can't be that bad. [Sniffs the air sample, as a disgusted look appears on his face]
Decontamination Fish: [Awakens from unconsciousness] Everyone, please remain calm, and exit the area in an orderly fashion!
[Everyone panics, and runs away in fear]
Decontamination Fish: I don't want anyone within fifty feet of this ticking stink bomb! This area has been here by, quarantined!
Patrick: [Gasps] Quarantined! What does that mean?
Decontamination Fish: It means that there is a toxic fume in the air that is a threat to all of our lives! Your house will be isolated until we have confirmed that the fume has been terminated!
Patrick: [Gasps] Terminated! What does that mean?
Decontamination Fish: It means that... you know what? [Hands Patrick money] Take this and go buy yourself a dictionary.
Patrick: [Gasps] A dictionary! What's that?
Decontamination Fish: [Looks frustrated] Don't you know anything?!
Patrick: Well-
Decontamination Fish: Don't answer that, I'm pretty sure that I already know the answer! [Walks away angrily]
Patrick: [Follows Decontamination Fish] If my house is quarantined, where am I supposed to live?
Decontamination Fish: Don't you have any friends?
Patrick: Yeah.
Decontamination Fish: Why don't you see if they'll let you stay with them?
Patrick: [Light bulb appears above Patricks head] Great idea; I'm sure that SpongeBob will let me spend the night with him!
[Scene cuts to SpongeBobs front door]
Patrick: [Knocks on SpongeBobs front door] SpongeBob!
SpongeBob: [Opens the door] Hey, Patri-
Patrick: Can I spend the night at your house? [Looks anxious]
SpongeBob: Well, this is sudden.
Patrick: [Gets on knees and begins begging] Please?!
SpongeBob: I think that Gary is still a little upset about last time.
Gary: [Appears on the scene and growls angrily at Patrick]
[The scene cuts to the last time Patrick visited SpongeBobs house]
Patrick: [Walks around the room, and notices Garys shell] What's this? [Begins shaking the shell]
Gary: [Meows from inside his shell]
Patrick: [Looks surprised] Gary! Don't worry, I'll get you out of there, buddy! [Smashes the shell against the ground breaking it open]
[The scene returns to present day]
Patrick: Fine; I'll just spend the night with Squidward, then! [Angrily marches away, and knocks on Squidward's front door] Squidward!
Squidward: [Opens the door]
Patrick: Can I-
Squidward: No. [Slams the door in Patrick's face]
[Scene cuts to Mr. Krabs' front door]
Patrick: [Knocks on Mr. Krabs' front door] Mr. Krabs!
Mr. Krabs: [Opens the door] Patrick? What are you doing here, at this time of night?
Patrick: I need a place to stay, because my house is quarantined!
Mr. Krabs: Quarantined? How did that happen?
Patrick: Long story short: the pizza didn't exactly agree with my stomach.
Mr. Krabs: [Looks disgusted] Fine, but don't break anything! Do you understand?
Patrick: Yes, sir! [Salutes Mr. Krabs]
Mr. Krabs: Good night. [Turns off the light, and walks towards his bedroom]
Patrick: [Waits until the coast is clear, and turns on the TV]
[The scene cuts to morning, when Patrick is awakened to Mr. Krabs yelling]
Mr. Krabs: Dear Neptune!
Patrick: What is it, Mr. Krabs?
Mr. Krabs: It's the electricity bill! It's higher than ever! You wouldn't happen to know anything about what caused this, would you?
Patrick: [Remembers watching TV nonstop the previous night, which probably raised the electricity bill, and begins to look nervous] Nope, not a clue.
Mr. Krabs: Really? [Inserts the security footage into the VCR] The security footage begs to differ! [Turns on the TV which reveals Patrick watching cartoons at 1:00 A.M.]
Patrick: [Begins to look nervous] Uh... technology, these days, you can't trust it one bit.
Mr. Krabs: Get out of my house! [Kicks Patrick out the front door]
Patrick: [Face-plants into the ground] I think he bought it!
[The scene cuts to Sandy's front door]
Patrick: [Barges into her house without a water helmet] Nice place, that you've got here!
Sandy: Uh... thanks.
Patrick: [Takes a deep breath] Ah... fresh air... wait a minute. Fresh air! Ah! [Begins running away in fear]
Sandy: [Scratches head]
[Scene cuts to the Krusty Krab, where Patrick is sitting alone at a table]
Patrick: There has to be somewhere to live. Think, Patrick, think! [Begins hitting head against table]
SpongeBob: [Appears to be bringing Patrick his order, and looks confused when he notices Patrick hitting his head against the table] Uh... Patrick, are you okay?
Patrick: Let's see... I slept in a dumpster last night! What do you think?
SpongeBob: Don't be upset. If it weren't for Gary I would definitely let you stay at my house!
Patrick: [Quits hitting head against table, and begins to cry] Really?
SpongeBob: Sure, that's what best friends are for, right?
Patrick: Yeah, I guess so. Hey, can I borrow five bucks to pay for this Krabby Patty?
SpongeBob: [Removes five dollars from his wallet] But this is all I have.
Patrick: Thanks! [Grabs the five dollars]
[The scene cuts to the Chum Bucket]
Patrick: [Knocks on the door] Plankton!
Plankton: Oh, a customer! [Opens the door, and looks depressed] Oh, it's just you.
Patrick: Could I spend the night here?
Plankton: N-O!
Patrick: I don't have time for your confusing word games!
Plankton: I can't have a buffoon like you running around the Chum Bucket! It'll be bad for business!
Patrick: [Leans inside, and notices an empty room, and rusty tables, covered in cob webs] What business?
Plankton: [Grunts] Get out!
Patrick: Is that a "yes?"
Plankton: [Slams the door in Patricks face, angrily]
[Scene cuts to Bargn' Mart]
Patrick: Maybe I should buy one of those dictionary things that, that guy was talking about earlier. [Walks past a big, flashing, sign that reads "Dictionaries"] Excuse me sir, would you happen to know where I could find a dictionary?
Clerk: [Facepalm] You're standing right in front of them.
Patrick: [Looks at the sign] Thanks!
Clerk: Yeah, sure thing. [Walks away, and begins whispering to himself] What a freak.
Patrick: [Grabs a dictionary, and walks towards the check out]
Cashier: [Scans the dictionary] That will be five dollars, sir.
Patrick: [Counts his money] Tarter sauce! I only have four dollars! [Leans towards the man beside him] Hey, can I borrow a buck?
Citizen: No.
Cashier: Do you have the money or not?
Patrick: Hey, look! [Points behind the cashier]
Cashier: [Turns around] What? I don't see anything.
Patrick: [Hides behind an isle] That was close! [Opens the dictionary] Huh? There's just a bunch of letters in here! How am I supposed to read this? [Closes the dictionary] What a rip-off! [Approaches the check out angrily] Excuse me, sir!
Cashier: Oh, you again. What is it this time?
Patrick: I'm not satisfied with my purchase!
Cashier: What purchase?
Patrick: Don't play dumb with me, mister! I want my money back!
Cashier: What money?
Patrick: Oh, so that's how it's going to be!
Cashier: I have no idea what you're talking about!
Patrick: [Begins to jump over the desk and tackles the Cashier]
Cashier: Security!
[Two tough looking men appear on the scene]
Security Guard: Is there a problem here, sir?
Patrick: Why, yes there is!
Security Guard: Why don't you just carry on, and nobody gets hurt. [Cracks knuckles]
[The scene immediatley cuts to a Jail Cell, where a Police Officer appears to be locking Patrick inside]
Patrick: Come on! I it's not my fault that he broke his arm! He shouldn't have been standing in front of my fist!
Police Officer: Yeah, yeah; tell it to the judge!
Patrick: Don't you think I tried that?
[The scene cuts to the court room, where Patrick was having his trial]
Patrick: [Enters the room, and notices everyone staring at him]
Police Officer: Patrick Star, is being charged for assault on an unarmed citizen.
Patrick: Unarmed?!
[The screen zooms out revealing the security guard, who is covered in tazers]
Judge: [Slams gavel against podium] You may now be seated!
[The jury take their seats]
Police Officer: The defendant calls Patrick Star to the stand.
Patrick: [Approaches the stand] Your honor-
Judge: Yeah, your guilty. [Slams the gavel against the podium]
Patrick: Wait, what? I demand a fair trial!
Judge: Too bad; case closed! [Yet again slams gavel against podium]
Patrick: No! [Begins crawling onto the Judges podium] Please?!
Judge: Will someone get him out of here?
Police Officer: [Grabs Patrick and drags him out of the exit]
[The scene returns to present day, where Patrick has engaged into conversation with the Police Officer]
Police Officer: Don't worry; you'll be home free in [Looks at wristwatch] Thirty more days.
Patrick: Thirty days! I don't have that kind of time!
Cell Mate: Well, if you think that's bad, I still have seven years left until probation.
Patrick: [Gasps]
Cell Mate: Only one person has been here longer than me.
Patrick: [Looks curious] Who?
Cell Mate: Earl. [Points to a skeleton beside him, on the floor]
Patrick: [Gasps] Is that, Earl?
Cell Mate: Oh, no. [Chuckles] The guards just throw that thing in here to scare us. That's Earl. [Points to an old man beside the skeleton]
Earl: The names, Earl! [Shakes Patricks hand] How ya' doin'?
Patrick: Okay, I guess.
Cell Mate: Every day, he cooks up a scheme to break us out of here, but just ends up getting us more time in the big house.
Earl: Don't worry; this plan is full proof!
Cell Mate: That's what you said last time... and the time before that... and the time before-
Earl: Yeah, I get your point! Anyways, [Removes a rock from in front of the wall, revealing a tunnel] I've been digging this thing for ages, and now it's finally complete!
Patrick: Me first! [Begins to crawl into the tunnel]
Earl: Wait! If we want to get out of here, we need to wait until sundown. It's too risky during the middle of the day; someone could spot us.
Patrick: Good point.
Police Officer: Hey, what's going on in there?
Patrick: [Looks nervous] Uh... nothing, officer.
Police Officer: Some news reporters are coming to check this place out, so I want you boys on your best behavior! [Looks sternly at Earl] That means, none of your amateur escape plans! [Exits the area]
Earl: If only I were going to be here to see the look on his face, once we escape! [Laughs]
Patrick: [Notices that the Police Officer dropped his keys, which must have slid through the cell, and picks them up] Hey, officer!
Earl: [Covers Patricks mouth] What, are you insane?! Those keys are our one way ticket out of here!
Patrick: What about the hole?
Earl: Forget about the hole! If we can manage to bust out of here, we can get rid of the keys, so that if they ever do find us, they won't be able to lock us back up in here!
Patrick: If you wanted me to get rid of the keys, why didn't you just tell me? [Drops the keys down ihs throat]
Earl: What did you just do?!
Patrick: I got rid of the keys, like you told me to, duh!
Police Officer: [Overhears the word "Keys"] What was that, about a key?
Patrick: Oh, you dropped your key... so I ate it.
Police Officer: You know what; I think that we have a special room for people like you.
[The scene cuts to a rubber room, where they have Patrick locked inside, and people are heard speaking outside of the room]
Decontamination Fish: Excuse me, may I speak to, Patrick Star?
Police Officer: Sure, he's right in here. [Opens the door]
Decontamination Fish: Hey, Patrick! How have you been?
Patrick: I don't have a house, and now I'm in prizon! It's all your fault!
Decontamination Fish: Well, your in luck! Your house is no longer quarantined!
Patrick: Really?!
Police Officer: But you still have thirty more days!
Decontamination Fish: [Purposely drops a fifty dollar bill] Oh, look someone must have accidentally [Winks at the Police Officer] dropped this fifty!
Police Officer: Are you trying to bribe me?
Decontamination Fish: Well, that depends. Is it working?
Police Officer: Yes.
Decontamination Fish: Then, yes, I am trying to bribe you!
Police Officer: [Takes the fifty dollar bill]
Decontamination Fish: Good talk! [Exits the area with Patrick]
[The screen suddenly freezes with Decontamination Fish narrating]
Decontamination Fish: Yeah, that's how I wish it turned out. This is what really happened.
[The scene returns to present day]
Decontamination Fish: Well, that depends. Is it working?
Police Officer: No.
Decontamination Fish: Well, in that case... [Tackles the police officer] Run!
Patrick: [Runs away]
[The scene freezes again, with Decontamination Fish narrating]
Decontamination Fish: By the time they caught Patrick his thirty days were over, Earl's plan finally worked, and they all lived happily ever after... except me. Yeah I'm in the big house for "assault on an unarmed police officer."
The End

Quarantined

Contents

Character(s)[]

Setting(s)[]

Transcript[]

Overview[]

Poll[]

Trivia[]