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Swagmaster6969696969, usually referred to as Swagmaster or Swag, is a major character in the SMG4 series, and one of the two main protagonists (alongside Chris Gordman) of the Guards N' R****ds series.

He is a (possibly mentally challenged) guard who works at Fresh Spaghetti Tubbie with his friend Chris (although the latter may not consider him a friend). He appears in the Guards N' R****ds series and in R64: Mario and the r*tarded spaghetti factory, as well as reappearing alongside Chris in SMG4: Mario And... The Well and making a cameo in SMG4 Christmas 2018: The Most Important Thing. He and Chris were the main antagonists of SMG4: Mario's Prison Escape. He and Chris were also the secondary antagonists of Part 1 of the Anime Arc before redeeming themselves in Part 2.

Outside of his own series, he, along with Chris, became prominent recurring characters during the ninth season of SMG4.

Personality[]

Swagmaster is an arrogant, unintelligent, cocky YouTuber, who tends to be uncaring and mean towards others. He prefers to screw around instead of doing his job, which is one of the main reasons why he and Chris get into so much trouble most of the time as guards working at the spaghetti factory. On some rare occasions where he is focused on the task at hand, he is very resourceful and can get out of many sticky situations with his quick thinking.

He is obsessed (way too much) with breasts, as shown in Guards N' R*tards: The Butt Ninja, where his dying wish is for Chris to bring him breasts, claiming that only boobs can save him, and in Guards N' R*tards: Pointy Things, where Swag's pursuit of the Pointy Boob Lady is part of the cause of the conflict.

On occasion, Swagmaster appears to enjoy singing while he is goofing around; however, he is apparently tone-deaf, as the characters around him start to panic and cringe in pain whenever he sings, making their ears bleed.

He also seems to have a dislike for anime as shown in SMG4: Mario's Prison Escape, stating that the van that Saiko Bichitaru is in needs to be immediately destroyed since it had "anime on board". In SMG4: The Inkling Disappearances though there's a scene which shows him and two anime scenes, where he says that "he has seen too much" and explains that because of that, he is probably going to have difficulties in coming back to "civilian life", probably meaning that either he actually grew to like anime (though it's most likely a love-hate feeling) ever since it was banned, or has been traumatized by it, given that when he sees Saiko again, he claims he's having Vietnam War flashbacks again. As of SMG4: If Mario was in The Sonic Movie, he for once cared for someone other than himself, and that someone was and is Sonic.

Despite his nature as a jerk and dumbass, there have been moments where he acts perfectly sane, and even wise. SMG4: The Bed. reveals that he works for IKEA's tech support in both English AND Spanish. He groans when Axol tells him that the bed that they got from them turned into a killer robot (as it was the seventh call regarding that issue) and simply tells him to look at the instructions for disassembling the robot. Unlike the other times where Swag usually goofs off during his job, he actually takes this job seriously.

As of "SMG4: Mario Waits For The Bus", Swag has seemed to make wiser decisions regarding combat, avoiding attacking the Watchers in said episode and hiding from the pack of bears in SMG4: Mario's Bus Trip , he also describe his self as 'tuned weapon as war and mass'.

Quotes[]

  • ''What you call me?! I'll let you know I am the king of chopanese! Ahh goddamit Chris why did you block my view!"
  • "Who's this douchebag anyway? Is he part of the Wiggles?"
  • "You actually trust the bullsh*t that comes out of my mouth?! When did you stoop so low, Chris?"
  • "MEGA SWAGALICIOUS PINGAS ACTIVATE!"
  • "Uh, I can explain why is there a rocket launcher up Gavin's butt."
  • "OK EVERYONE, DON'T PANIC, BUT YOU'RE ALL GONNA DIE!"
  • "F*ck u penis muncher"
  • "♪ I CAN SHOW YOU THE WORLD~ SHINING, SH*TTERING, SWAGNESS~ ♪"
  • "C'mon Chris! Stop being an assmuncher and get in the car"
  • "OH SH*T, angry men in underwear, that's my one weakness!!!"
  • "Can you smell that, Chris? Smells like b*tches gonna die tonight."
  • "Hi ho hi ho off to banish some scrubs I go"
  • "Hey, Chris. If I ever say something as gay as that I want you to shoot me k?"
  • "I was born a weeb hunter and I will die a weeb hunter"
  • "Crap, he's just taking a giant sh*t, right?"
  • "Oh hey boss! Just making patties... definitely no KFC back here."
  • "Hey Chris....can we go work for KFC?"
  • "You know what f*ck it, I put my tank in defence mode!"
  • " Your mom, your mom, your mom, your mom."
  • "Are you hungry? Open up b*tches"
  • "Now hold still while I shoot off your d*ck"
  • "This is the rarest money on the planet"
  • "You wot m8?!
  • "Sugonma swag nuts."
  • "Fine. But if this doesn't work, it's Boom Boom McDoom Time."
  • "SOI SOI SOI SOI SOI SOI SOI SOI"

Skills[]

Powerlevel: B[]

  • Firearms knowledge:
    • AK-47: Most of the time, Swagmaster uses this weapon.
    • Tank: Swagmaster usually drives a tank together with Chris which they can also control perfectly.


Criminal Record[]

This article or section is incomplete.

Please improve the article, or discuss the issue in the comments.

  • Murder and Assault: Swagmaster has committed aggravated assault, pre-meditated first degree murder, second degree murder, and third degree murder on countless occasions. He has murdered both criminals, and bystanders who weren't actually breaking the law. Some examples include: Chris multiple times, Sergeant Mark's mother, Sergeant Mark himself, and Mario.
  • Sexual Harassment: Swagmaster is known for his creepy obsession with women, and has harassed multiple women over the course of the series. He often "compliments" their appearance (Mostly their breasts,) in a rather unprofessional manner, and states his provocative intents directly to them, much to their disgust or ire. He harassed Sergeant Mark's mother when she came to visit him in Guards N' R*tards: Pointy Things, and also attempted to seduce a female conductor in Guards N' R*tards: Le Train Breach be stating that he caught Ebola.
  • Robbery and Scamming: In SMG4: Welcome To Mario Mart™, he scammed Mario to give him all of the money in the register in exchange for "Swagbucks" that Swag claims to be worth one million dollars, even though it's basically Monopoly money. He robbed the same store again in the same episode with Bob. They tried to steal the lottery machine but failed to do so.
  • Abuse of power, Vandalism and Extortion: In SMG4: Mario Suffers Infinite Detention, he forced Mario, Meggy, SMG4 and Melony to write "Swag is best", causing them to vandalize the school.
  • Grand Theft Auto and Vehicular Manslaughter: In Guards N' R*tards: The Vacation, Swagmaster steals an innocent bystander's vehicle while attempting to flee from a Lifeguard he had attacked. He also rams into a police car, and multiple pedestrians while attempting to escape. He had also apparently stolen a fire truck from the government and replaced the water in the tank with vodka. The same truck was later "borrowed" by Meggy and Saiko Bichitaru during the events of SMG4: Mario And... The Well.

Trivia[]

  • As shown in SMG4: Mario goes to the dentist, Swag is fluent at speaking Spanish, but sucks at pronouncing Spanish words. For example, he pronounced the Spanish word for chicken, pollo, direct as "polo" instead of "poyo".
  • His YouTube name may be based on the name, "swagmaster69". One of Mario's failed YouTube names in Super Mario 64 Bloopers: Youtube Mario?
    • It is likely he joined YouTube before Mario.
    • From the name “swagmaster”, it may be a pun of a term swagman, which means a transient labourer or even hobo in Australia (which SMG4 currently live) which was popularly used in the country's unofficial national anthem, Waltzing Matilda.
  • In the video "The Butt Ninja", he is shown activating two "attack modes": "ninja stealth mode" and "swag mode".
  • In "Pointy Things" Swagmaster claims that he needs breasts to survive.
    • Despite this, he still marries Sonic the hedgehog at the end of "If Mario Was in... the Sonic Movie 2".
  • Despite being obsessed with women he still doesn't like anime women shown in Mario's Illegal Operation.
    • To drive this point home, Fishy Boopkins throwing a body pillow at him sets his body on fire.
      • This might mean he likes normal women, but hates anime waifus, though some later videos seem to have him tolerate it more or not mind it.
  • His character model is the "St. Petersburg Guard" from GoldenEye 007 for the Nintendo 64.
  • His subtitles are red, similar to Mario's subtitles.
    • However, Mario's subtitles are actually white with a red glow, while Swag's are red with a black glow and a different font.
  • In "Swag Party Hostages", it is revealed that he can activate a "Mega Swagalicious Pingas", which is a fist that comes from his groin.
  • Swagmaster's subtitles changed in the video "Swag Magic."
  • In "Swag Magic" he is shown that he is number one in "Swag Fu", which is the parody of Kung Fu.
  • Swagmaster is based on Master Chief from Arby 'n' the Chief. However, Swagmaster seems to have better grammar than Chief at times. They also both have annoyingly intelligent partners.
  • Swagmaster sold his soul to a ghost a week before the events of Swag Magic for some ice cream.
  • In Guards N' R*tards: The Vacation, "Swagmaster" walked out of a clothing shop wearing a dress and spoke with pink subtitles. Shockingly, this was actually a woman who happened to look like Swag wearing a terrible disguise, causing her to get shot at and arrested.
  • In SMG4: Mario Gets His PINGAS Stuck In The Door, he and Chris had decided to change careers and joined the military, implying that they no longer worked at Fresh Spaghetti Tubbie and McDonalds, though it was never really explained if they were still working at Fresh Spaghetti Tubbie after the events of the Anime Arc. However, in SMG4: SMG3's Browser History, the two are now working as guards for the Men In Black.
  • In SMG4: War of the Fat Italians 2023, it is revealed that he and Chris are immune to tear gas, and that they developed said ability after the events of WW2. Further details on such events are unknown.
  • He is in love with Sonic the Hedgehog (a relationship which was mostly one sided) after Sonic tried to fool him into thinking he was a girl, but he continued to love him regardless after Sonic lost his disguise, claiming that it was "no homo". Chris doesn't seem to approve, but he chooses not to interfere for obvious reasons.
    • Swag for odd reasons refers to Sonic with female terms. In SMG4: If Mario was in The Sonic Movie and SMG4: The Totally Legit Learning Show With SMG4 he refers to Sonic as his "waifu" and later when the 2 get married in Mario's Plane Trip he refers to Sonic as his "wife". This is likely due to Swag not wanting to seem gay despite being fully aware Sonic is male, even claiming saying the phrase "No homo" absolves him of all homosexuality.
    • However eventually he and Sonic did get married in SMG4: If Mario Was In... Sonic Movie 2.
      • However, despite the two getting married, due to their lack of appearances together it was theorized that they had possibly gotten divorced. However, this theory has since been disproved in SMG4: SMG4 NEWS and Mario's Plane Trip where in the former they were seen on a Valentine's date (albeit seeming a bit disinterested in one another) and in the latter it was revealed they had been having marriage trouble. Their marriage troubles according to Swag's flashback are likely due that at some point in time during a car ride, Swag and Sonic tripped on Mario while in their car causing Sonic to be dumped into a volcano. After his adventure with Mario, SMG4, and Karen in the latter he went back home to Sonic in hopes of rekindling their marriage which he seems to have done successfully.
  • Swagmaster's real name and full YouTuber name are up for interpretation and debate:
    • In Guards N' R*tards: The Butt Ninja, when Swagmaster introduces himself to Chris, he says that his name is "swagmaster69696969696-" before being stopped by Chris. The last 6 is cut off by Chris, implying his name may be even longer.
    • SMG4: To Become A God reveals an even longer version of Swag's name: "Swagmaster6969696969696969696969696-". This is also cut off by Chris. In Guards N' R*tards: The Butt Ninja it was revealed that "Swagmaster" was not his real name but just his YouTube names. His real name is currently unknown.
      • According to Goldeneye 007 files datamined by Weegeepie, his real name could possibly be Ken, named after his model. Considering the datamined name of Chris' model is also Chris, this could be the case.
        • In addition to the datamine, Swag's name & face comes from Ken Lobb, a real life video game designer that worked on GoldenEye 007 during his tenure at Rare LTD.
  • Swag is banned from every public washroom in the world, however the reason why is unknown
  • He, along with Chris, are currently one of the two only recurring original characters to not have an original model.
  • He apparently wears Rainbow-colored underwear according to what he states to Chris in Guards N' R*tards: Prisoners.

GMOD model[]

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Removed addons warning

Due to many Nintendo-related addons being removed on the GMOD workshop by Nintendo, some of or all the models below might be unavailable or have missing textures. If this is the case, please click on the [download] button next to the hypertext if included (note that the model could still have missing textures, so make sure to download all the needed models). You can also check the "GMOD Pretendo's ARCHIVE" Discord server, which archives Nintendo and non-Nintendo addons and also allows you to save addons yourself.

(The hyperlink being crossed means that the addon it link to was removed.)
(The hyperlink being underlined means that the addon it link to have missing textures.)
(Even if the model is still currently available on the workshop, this template and the
[download] button can be added in case it eventually gets deleted, so please don't remove it.)
How to install .gma files on GMOD:

References[]

  1. Despite Sonic being a male hedgehog, Swag refers to Sonic with female terms. He calls Sonic his waifu in SMG4: If Mario was in The Sonic Movie and SMG4: The Totally Legit Learning Show With SMG4 and post marriage he refers to Sonic as his wife
v - e - d Crossover Time & SMG4 characters
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