Characters[]
Nat Peterson
Shubie
Frank
Fred Rechid
Tom Smith
Pilar
Clayton
Lenny
Martha Smith
Nancy Suzy Fish
Sadie Rechid
Harold
Coach
New Kelp City Football Team
Transcript[]
(Scene cuts to Nat working in Sadie's Cookies) A fish walks into the store.
Fish: "Do you know what today marks?"
Nat: "Oh, no. Not again."
Fish: "The day we beat your football team in the high school championship!" A bunch of other fish run into the door and start celebrating.
Nat: "It isn't that day. It's not even cold out!"
Fish: "Oh. Well, we still kicked your butts!"
Nat: "You all know New Kelp City wouldn't have won if I hadn't gotten the flu that day."
Fish: "It doesn't matter Bikini Bottom still lost, and the great New Kelp City still won!"
Nat: "Shut it! Bikini Bottom would kick your butt if we played you again."
Fish: "Is that a bet? I'd like to see you try."
Nat: "If we win we get the original 1996 state championship trophy."
Fish: "Ok but if we win you have to put up a banner in this store saying Congratulations to the 1996 Bikini Bottom football team: Biggest Losers of All Time." The other fish laugh.
Nat: "You're on."
Fish: "Ok see you in a week, loser." The fish leave the store.
Nat: "Sadie, I'm going home early today, I have a team to find."
(Scene cuts to a football field)
Nat: "So the winner of this game will get that trophy we deserved that year."
Clayton: "Hey! Coach is here!"
Coach: "I've called all the guys that were on the team that year, and the only ones who showed up were Clayton, Frank, Pilar, Nat, Tom, Fred and Scooter."
Nat: "That's it?"
Coach: "Oh, and him." Coach points to Lenny.
Fred: "The towel boy?"
Frank: "What about Harold?"
Nat: "He grew up in New Kelp City, and is on their football team."
Coach: "Well we need at least one more player to have a chance, so tell me when you find one." The players huddle up.
Nat: "Who could we possibly get to play for us?"
Tom: "Why don't we get Martha? She's the tallest of all of our wives and the most phsically built for the sport."
Fred: "She is pretty big. I guess it's our only option."
(Scene cuts to next practice) Martha Smith is running down the sideline with the ball, but Clayton runs into Martha's stomach. Martha falls onto the ground.
Martha: "Tom, I think I need to go to the hospital."
Frank: "I'll ask Nancy if she wants to help."
(Scene cuts to next practice)
Nancy: "I quit! This team stinks! Be home by seven, honey. I'm making stew tonight." Nancy kisses Frank on the cheek and leaves.
Fred: "Maybe I could get Sadie to help." Sadie drives up next to them.
Sadie: "Not a chance. Hi Nat!"
Coach: "The game's in two days. I guess we'll have to play towel boy here."
Nat: "No wait! I know someone."
(Scene cuts to Nat's house)
Shubie: "Of course I'll join your football team."
(Scene cuts to next practice) Shubie runs across the field and into the endzone.
Fred: "Whoa. She's good."
Pilar: "Yeah. She's way better than Lenny."
(Scene cuts to the game)
Announcer: "The score is New Kelp City 27 Bikini Bottom 24 with ten seconds left, Bikini Bottom has the ball." Pilar gets the snap, but he can't find anyone to pass it to.
Tom: "Can you throw it already? I can't hold them off for much longer." The New Kelp City players push Tom onto the ground and sprint towards Pilar. Pilar sees Fred get open and throws the ball to him. Fred runs down the field but gets crushed by a New Kelp City player.
Fred: "MY LEG!" The ball pops out of Fred's hands and into the air. Shubie sprints towards the ball and catches it.
Announcer: "Shubie is running down the field avoiding tackles left and right. There is now only one defender between her and the endzone, Harold."
Harold: "You're mine. I'm not losing this game." Harold dives at Shubie, but Shubie hits Harold off her with her head. Harold flies into the ground and Shubie runs into the endzone.
Annoucer: "Bikini Bottom wins! Bikini Bottom wins!" The players lift Shubie into the air.
Shubie: "Hey New Kelp City! How does it feel to lose to a girl?" The New Kelp City team sadly walk away.
(Scene ends)