| Two Squids and a Squirrel | |
|---|---|
| File:TwoSquidsSquirrel.jpg | |
| Series | Basket Sponge |
| Season | 2 |
| Episode | 9 |
| Airdate | June 2, 2015 |
| Story by | Doctor Bugs |
| Written by | Doctor Bugs |
| Directed by | Doctor Bugs |
| Animation director(s) | SBCA |
| Title card by | Doctor Bugs |
Two Squids and a Squirrel is the 9th episode of Season 2 of Basket Sponge. It aired on June 2, 2015.
It is the 30th overall episode of the series.
Plot[]
Squidward is finally recovering from his break up with Sandy, and has decided to start dating again. SpongeBob sets him up on a dating website, and he meets a nice girl squid named Squilvia. On his first date with Squilvia, he runs into Sandy who has dumped Squilliam, and wants to get back together with Squidward.
Story[]
[SpongeBob woke up one morning in his underwear]
SpongeBob: Mornin', Gary!
Gary: Mowwww....go die in a hole.....mowwwwww!!!!!
SpongeBob: What was that?
Gary: Nothing. I mean...mowwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SpongeBob: Alrighty. (goes outside)
Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob.
SpongeBob: Hey, Pat. Ready to go to practice?
Patrick: I don't care about practice. I just wanna make out with Lexi!
SpongeBob: You two seem pretty happy together.
Patrick: Yep, she's the girl of my dreams.
SpongeBob: (knocks on Squidward's door) Squidward! Time for practice!
Squidward: (from inside) Go away, SpongeBob! Forget practice!
Patrick: (cuts through the door with a chainsaw) Hey, Squidward!
Squidward: AHHH!!!!!
SpongeBob: Hellooooo.
Squidward: Get out!
SpongeBob: Erm, no.
Squidward: (sigh) Just leave me alone.
SpongeBob: What's wrong, Squidward?
Squidward: It's nothing. (stares at a picture of Sandy, and sighs)
SpongeBob: Oh, you're upset about losing Sandy.
Squidward: No! I'm fine without her!
SpongeBob: I know your pain. Ever since she joined the Toon Tomahawks, she's never been the same. She's become evil. I miss the days when we were all friends.
Squidward: I don't care about friendship! (sigh) She was the only girl I ever loved.
SpongeBob: I'm really sorry. I thought you've recovered by now.
Squidward: I'll never recover. I just wish I could her-
Patrick: Dude, me and Lexi are gonna make out ALL DAY LONG!
SpongeBob: Patrick! Not now!
Patrick: Fine. (shoves a pie in his face)
SpongeBob: Squidward, you need to move on. She's with Squilliam.
Squidward: Yeah, but she's not very happy with him. I want her back-
SpongeBob: (smacks him) Squidward, you're meeting someone else. TODAY.
Squidward: What about practice?
SpongeBob: Screw practice!
Squidward: Wow, I like the new SpongeBob!
Patrick: But I wanted to make out with Lexi!
SpongeBob: You'll have to wait.
Patrick: Awww. I guess I'll just make out with this manakin instead. (starts making out with a manakin head) His name's Kevin!
Squidward: Weirdo.
SpongeBob: (typing on a computer)
Squidward: What are you doing?
SpongeBob: Setting you up on a dating website!
Squidward: SpongeBob! Don't do that!
SpongeBob: (examining Squidward's body)
Squidward: Creeper. What are you doing?
SpongeBob: (typing) Hmm.....height.....we'll put 3'6.
Squidward: I am not 3'6, dummy!
SpongeBob: Weight.....hmmm.....
Squidward: I'm 140.
SpongeBob: (typing) We'll put 375.
Squidward: What the? SpongeBob! I'm not a fatass!
SpongeBob: Hold on. Now we need an age.
Squidward: I'm twenty-
SpongeBob: (typing) We'll put put 73.
Squidward: What is WRONG with you!
SpongeBob: Now we need a picture. (snaps a picture; uploads it)
Squidward: That's a picture of Patrick making out with a manakin head!
Patrick: His NAME is Kevin! Tee-hee, Kevin.....Lexi would be soooo jealous.
SpongeBob: Weirdo.
Squidward: SpongeBob! This is the worst profile EVER! Nobody, I repeat NOBODY IS GONNA-
[The computer dings]
SpongeBob: (clicks on it) Oh! Someone's interested!
Squidward: Probably some loser! (looks at her picture; starts drooling) Hubba hubba! What is SHE doing on a dating website?
SpongeBob: Looking for people like you. (winks)
Squidward: This is awesome! But wait....she thinks I'm 3'6, fatass of 375 pounds, and 73 years old!
SpongeBob: Oh...that could be a problem.
[That night]
Squidward: SpongeBob, why'd you bring me to this fancy restaurant I can't afford?
SpongeBob: Because you've got a date. Remember?
Squidward: SpongeBob! I can't make HER pay!
SpongeBob: Well steal some money or something idk. Oh, she's coming. Bye! (jumps in the bushes)
Squidward: SpongeBob! Wait! Come back!
Squilvia: Hello.
Squidward: (starts sweating) Squilvia! Heh-heh....fancy meeting a female squid......
Squilvia: Excuse me?
Squidward: Nothing, haha.....
Squilvia: Are you....sweating?
Squidward: Sweating? No, heh-heh...I'm inking.
Squilvia: Whoa, it's a little early for that...
Squidward: Not THAT kind of inking.
Squilvia: Whatever. Let's get this date over with. Let's go inside and get a table.
[They go inside and get a table]
Squilvia: This is nice.
Squidward: Yeah you're nice. I mean, it's nice.
Squilvia: You're kinda creeping me out.
Squidward: You're the one who clicked on my profile!
Squilvia: I thought you were 3'6, and 375 pounds, and 73 years old!
Squidward: Why are you interested into those kinds of men?
Squilvia: Because they're freakin' hot!
Squidward: (sigh)
[Squidward notices at a table across the room, SpongeBob and Patrick are sitting with the rest of the team]
Squidward: (whispering) Guys! What are you doing here???
SpongeBob: You need our help!
LeBron: Obviously, dawg. You need some serious help.
Squidward: (whispering) Get out!
Krabs: Arg! Arg! Arg! I knew I'd have to see it to believe it. Squidward's on a date with a girl! Haha!
Planton: Dude, these appetizers are bigger than I am!
Patrick: (making out with Lexi) Forget you, Kevin! (chucks Kevin across the room)
[Kevin lands in an old lady's pasta]
Old Lady: Ah! A manakin head!
Patrick: His NAME is Kevin!
Lexi: Who's Kevin?
Patrick: No one, babe.
Larry: (chucking forks and knives at Squidward) Hey, Squiddy! I'm here to ruin your date!
Squidward: (the forks and knives stap him in the heart) AWWW!!!!
Squilvia: Are you 'inking' again?
Squidward: No, that's blood, Squilvia.
Squilvia: Disgusting! This is the worst date of my life!
[Sandy enters the restaurant]
Squidward: (notices Sandy)
Sandy: (looks at Squidward; begins staring at him)
Squidward: (stares into her eyes)
[Time stands still for about 15 minutes]
Squilvia: (snapping her fingers) Squidward! Squidward! GRRRR!!!!!!
Sandy: (walks over to their table) What's going on here?
Squidward: I.....I started dating again. But...it's just not the same.
Sandy: Squidward, there's something I need to tell you.
Squilvia: Who is she, Squidward?
Squidward: Shut up, Squilvia.
Squilvia: GASP!!!!
Squidward: Sandy, you left me for that unibrowed freak.
Sandy: Squilliam's gone. He's a horrible man. He's on a plane, never to return to Bikini Bottom.
Squidward: But........I don't understand.
Sandy: Squidward, I dumped him on the night of the tournament.
Squidward: You did? Why?
Sandy: Because I realized what I really wanted.
Squidward: …....
[Sandy grabs Squidward's face, and kisses him]
SpongeBob: Yeah, Squidward!
Patrick: Woo-hooo!
Krabs: There ya go, lad!
Larry: (sniff) That's beautiful.
LeBron: Hey! She's a Tomahawk!
Larry: (punches him in the face)
LeBron: (flies through the window; lies outside unconscious)
[Squidward and Sandy hold each other and begin slow-dancing]
Squilvia: Whoa! Whoa! You can't interrupt MY date, you stupid squirrel!
Squidward: I thought you said this was 'the worst date of your life'!
Squilvia: Yes, but I'm a diva! I need things perfect!
Squidward: Hey, Larry. You mind?
Larry: Sure thing, bro. (punches Squilvia through the window; she lies outside unconscious with LeBron)
[Everyone in the restaurant claps]
Squidward: (a tear runs down his cheek) This moment is so perfect.....
Sandy: Yes it is.....
[The two of them kiss once again]
Everyone in the restaurant: Awwww.......(starts clapping)
Patrick: Hey, Lexi, wanna make out?
Lexi: This is their moment, Patrick. Not our's.
Patrick: Fine. (grabs the manakin head) Hey, Kevin, wanna make out?